


The Twelve Heavenly Chores of Saotome Ranma

by Juan_Milagro



Category: Continuation - Fandom, Ranma 1/2
Genre: Other, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2020-06-27 15:56:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 93,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19794169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juan_Milagro/pseuds/Juan_Milagro
Summary: Nabiki is accused of hubris by the Gods. Ranma is assigned a dozen little jobs by Zeus Almighty. It goes downhill from there.





	1. The Trial

**Chapter 01** : _The Trial_

The skies over Nerima-cho were thick grey and low to the ground, as though they might unleash a flood of cold water at any second. Ranma looked outside and quailed inside.

 _Might know that the weather'd be bad,_ Ranma thought. _It ain't like I've had any luck 'cept bad luck today._

Ranma tossed and turned in his sleep. It had been but ten days since his failed wedding to Akane. He felt hungry, something that he had felt for ten years prior to arriving at Tendo-ke. He had forgotten what it was like to be truly hungry, but the recent misery making trip to China brought all those memories back. His hair was damp with sweat and his breath came in wracking gasps.

Anyone watching him would have been alarmed, but no one was in the room -- not even his oafish father was there. Genma and Nodoka had moved out of Tendo-ke and had taken up residence in the tiny Saotome domicile in a neighboring district of Tokyo -- as Kasumi had demanded.

Behind Ranma's tightly squeezed eyes, a startling event was taking place. He was on trial for having killed a Kami. Nabiki was there trying to defend him against the charges. She claimed that what he had done was justified. They were barely holding their own, but only because Nabiki had wisely demanded a change of venue to be judged by another pantheon -- any pantheon but the one they were facing now.

“Why'd ja do that, Nabiki?” Ranma asked out of the side of his mouth as he kept a wary eye on the Kami that surrounded the two of them. All of them were ferocious looking and looked thirsty for human blood.

“'Cause that's the only way you're gonna get a fair trial, Saotome. Saffron was a member of this pantheon. You don't have a prayer with the Chinese Pantheon, or even the Japanese Pantheon. Neither of them will have any love for you after what you did.”

“And you think that the the kami of any other pantheon will?” Ranma asked. He hated the idea of being tried by Kami. He did not think that they would understand why he did Saffron in.

“You'll get better treatment with them than you will this bunch, Saotome. Just look at these bloodthirsty Butt-holes!” Nabiki exclaimed. “They're hungry for your soul, man.”

A thunderous laugh resounded from some unknown location. Ranma thought it might be the head splitting voice of Raidan, Kami of Thunder, but who could know for certain? This was his first heavenly trial. He had never had that much time for religion growing up on the road with Genma.

 _What do I know_ _'bout this crap_ _?_ He thought. _Shit-Daddy didn't like religious stuff. He always said that we'd die soon enough and that we'd know for certain about the hereafter 'cause we'd be_ _in the hereafter if there really was one_ _. Now I'm_ _in the_ _here_ _after_ _and I don't know diddly-shit. It's embarrassin'._

“Your request for a change of venue has been granted!” the same thunderous voice that had laughed earlier declared. It was so loud and booming that Ranma and Nabiki alike winced the way one would when surprised by a nearby lightning strike. “Know ye that western Gods are far less forgiving than We Kami of the East are.”

There was an actinic blue flash followed by a swirl of colors that made Ranma's stomach heave and his groin tingle, and then he and Nabiki abruptly found themselves standing in huge portico or arbor made of bright white marble columns standing on and around a large highly polished marble floor.

The roof overhead sheltered the floor from the sun and rain, but there were no walls to block the view from within. Ranma could see out between the columns. This fancy building had been constructed on a very high spot. He could see rambling hills and the rooftops of villages in the far flung distance. None of the architecture was at all familiar to him. Clearly this was a cold and lonely place, a place that was visited only when absolutely necessary. It made him nervous.

Nabiki, on the other hand, remained the uncrackable and imperturbable Ice Queen.

Ranma kept glancing at her with a mixture of awe, envy and anger.

 _She's as cool as a cucumber on a day in late fall,_ he thought. _Little wonder about that. She is not_ _the one_ _up on murder charges by the Gods. I am._ _What is she doing here anyway? Have the Gods charged her with anything?_

Without warning, a cripple appeared out of thin air in the middle of floor, just steps away from Ranma and Nabiki. Ranma could see that the old man's left leg had been hamstrung, causing him to limp. He had ashen hair and had burn marks all over his body. There were dark ribbons of soot mobilized by sweat running down from either temple and across his cheeks. The old man's deep set dark orange eyes winkled in a friendly way as he gave Ranma an engaging grin. He offered his left hand and Ranma took it into his own left hand without thinking that the old man had offered his left hand because he could not shake with his right hand.

The ensuing handshake turned out to be a painful experience. Ranma had long prided himself on his grip. He had forced Ryoga to his knees with it once, but he found himself gasping with pain in a flash as this elderly man squeezed the bones of his right hand together. When the old man first seized his hand, Ranma wondered why he could not see the glove. The the skin of the hand that had seized his felt as rough as as any boot sole he had ever touched. Ranma managed to muster a fierce stare at the old fart despite his vice-like grip.

“Hello there, Ranma, my boy!” The old man said in a cheerful voice. “My name is Hephaestus. You have a fairly sound grip for a mortal, ya know.”

Ranma let out a loud gasp as he felt his hand break off at his wrist. He stared in shock at his handless stump of a left forearm. There was no blood.

“Hey, now! Whatta didja do with my hand you old fart?” Ranma shouted.

Hephaestus gave him a nasty grin as he answered, “Now you'll need a tool, won't you?”

“What am I gonna hold a tool with?” Ranma asked. “You took my hand!”

“Don't worry, boy,” Hephaestus answered. “I'll give it back -- or a reasonable facsimile of it after your trial.”

“What do ya mean a reasonable fagzemly?” Ranma asked in glass cracking shriek, but by then, Hephaestus had vanished in the same way he had shown up.

Ranma was still flabbergasted and distracted by what had just happened and failed to see the sudden appearance of another man in the room.

“Hello, Tendou Nabiki,” the man said in the smoothest most melodious voice Ranma had ever heard. “I trust that you found the trip here pleasant?”

“It was fast enough,” Nabiki answered, “but it disoriented me. You are?”

“Oh, I beg your pardon! I'm Hermes, God of borders, transitions and trade. He bowed as Nabiki bowed back. Ranma bowed out of pure reflex, not inclination, but this guy's mere presence was compelling in a way that Ranma did not understand.

Hermes turned to look Ranma right in the eye.

“And you're Saotome Ranma. It is good to meet you,” Hermes said with another polite bow. Ranma found himself hastening to bow a hair lower in return.

“Ah! I hear the approach of Athena,” Hermes said in an apologetic voice. “She will want to meet you alone. Ta-ta!” And then _he_ vanished.

A tall woman with light brown hair suddenly appeared in the room. She had grey eyes and wore ancient western style armor, most of which was made out of bronze. Her clothing under the armor was made up of very soft flexible fabric, so that while it was not even remotely transparent, it actually enhanced the lines of her body rather than hid them.

She had her polished helmet pushed up to her hair line so that Ranma and Nabiki could see her face. Her grey eyes saw everything, even stuff that was not even remotely visible -- Ranma somehow just knew that she did. She was as astute as the other Gods they had just met. Ranma found himself squirming under her steady unblinking gaze. She smiled at his discomfort before turning her attention on Nabiki. Ranma was gratified to see the Ice Queen flinch. Ranma had thought that it was impossible for anyone to make Nabiki flinch, but Athena's gaze forced the Ice Queen to openly flinch in front of him.

“I am told that two of you have been very naughty,” the grey eyed woman said. A great horned owl flew in and settled on her armored shoulder as she stopped speaking.

“And you are?” Nabiki asked.

“Don't be stupid, Nabiki,” Ranma interjected. “She's Athena, the Goddess of Wisdom.”

The woman snapped her eyes back onto the Saotome Childe and smiled. “See? You are much smarter than you let on -- that's very wise of you, by the way.”

Ranma bowed yet again. He had not bowed so many times in his entire life. He hated doing it, but these guys were Gods and Goddesses. They had such respect coming. Nabiki was quick to join Ranma in a low bow.

“Oos!” They said in chorus.

Athena responded with a mere nod of her head. “You two are the embodiment of youthful arrogance -- you do realize that, do you not?”

“I earned the right!” Ranma responded.

“What my client means...”

Athena cut Nabiki off with laughter that tinkled like the finest crystal. “I well know what he meant, Tendou Nabiki. You need not put words in his mouth. I am charging you with the same accusation, or did you not notice that?”

“Uh, I thought it was Ranma who had been charged with ...”

“With what? Slaying a demigod who richly deserved it? Hardly! Ranma is here to be tested. You, on the other hand, are being charged for hubris and sacrilege against the Gods of all the pantheons. Are you ready to enter a plea?”

Ranma felt as though his jaw might fall on his toes. He could not believe what he had just heard. Judging from her reaction, neither could Nabiki.

“Well -- you see -- I didn't know there was any such thing as the...”

“Hmph! You had to have known on some level,” Athena said cutting Nabiki off in mid protest. “You have lived with Ranma and others who share his curse for two years, have you not? You cannot claim that you doubted the existence of superior powers, can you?”

“Well, you know only four exceptions out of billions doesn't really...”

“Only four?” Athena asked. “What about Hibiki Ryoga? He alone would make it five people with a water centered curese. What about the people of Phoenix Mountain? They number in the thousands.”

“Ryoga?” Nabiki was well and truly shocked. “Ryoga has a Jusenkyou curse?”

“Oh, I see!” Athena said. “You're not omniscient after all, are you?”

Nabiki choked and shivered from the top of her head to the very soles of her feet. She hung her head. “No, I just try to make people think that I am.”

“I think I shall add willful blindness to your list of charges, Tendou Nabiki,” Athena said in a very gentle voice. “You have been, you know.”

Nabiki looked up at the Goddess and tried to protest, but it died in her throat. Ranma watched in awe as Nabiki drooped and was about to drop to the floor, but Athena stopped her.

“I do not view groveling with any favor, Tendo Nabiki,” Athena said in a stern voice. “You should be proud of your abilities; you _do_ have them. You _know_ that you have them. Your abilities are your last best hope in the trials to come.”

Nabiki managed to stay upright. She involuntarily let out a wail. “But I thought you said that I was...”

“Charged with hubris?” Athena asked interrupting Nabiki. “You are, but you are also charged with sacrilege, don't forget. You should think about this before you enter a plea.”

“A plea? What will I do?” Nabiki asked as a look of horror roiled her face.

“You will think,” Athena said. “Thinking is one of your strengths. Use it.”

Nabiki looked startled and doubtful as Athena cocked her head to one side. “Ah, my great aunt Aphrodite approaches,” she said. “I positively loath her. I shall see more of you, young Tendou.” Athena turned to look Ranma in the eye and said, “I look forward to learning the nature of your pending tests, Saotome-san.” And with that, Athena vanished.

There was a flash of pink light as the scent of bubblegum filled the air. An intensely erotic laugh echoed across the shiny marble floor as a callipygian blonde traipsed around to Nabiki, caressing her cheek and chin with one hand.

“Oh, my!” The sexy lady said. “You're jealous of your sister. This statement was followed by another hearty laugh. “Whatever shall we do, hmm?”

Ranma gave Nabiki an outraged stare as he felt his jaw sag. “You ruined Akane's wedding on purpose?”

Nabiki winced visibly, but shook her head no.

Ranma rolled his eyes and sighed.

“It's not all her fault, you know, Ranma,” the sexy lady said. “Do you know who I am?”

“Uh, Venus? No, Aphrodite! You're the Goddess of Love, right?” Ranma was now having a nice cold sweat.

“Indeed I am, sweetness,” Aphrodite said as she caressed Ranma's cheek with her left hand. She somehow invoked his curse. “You've been leading several people around, haven't you? I wonder why you're still a virgin.”

“I -- uh -- well...” Ranma stammered as his face reddened.

Nabiki rolled her eyes and shouted, “Just tell her the truth, _you baka_! We are dealing with the Gods here. Lying is futile.”

“Oh, I know!” Aphrodite pouted. “It's that mean old nasty curse, right?”

“Er...well...Sorta, but...”

“Oh, come now, Ranma-san,” Aphrodite said with a purr in her voice. “Surely by now you know which sex enjoys sex more, yes?”

Onna-Ranma turned beet red as he choked off his thoughts before he could give birth to them with his voice.

“Poor Ranma,” Aphrodite said in her soft purring voice. “He has so much of a sense of responsibility that he can't enjoy himself.”

Nabiki snorted and then laughed out loud. “Right on target, Your Worshipfulness.”

Aphrodite preened as she continued caressing Onna-Ranma's cheek.

“That boy who stays lost all the time cannot bring himself to admit that he lusts after this form of you -- but then, you can't admit that you enjoy his attention, can you, Ranma? Your vanity is one of your greatest weaknesses, but then so it is for we who live on the Heavenly Plane.”

Steam shot out of both Ranma's ears causing Nabiki to giggle again.

“I must admit that seeing the two of you in the furoba was most amusing,” Aphrodite said.

“What?” Nabiki asked. “Ranma and Ryoga in the furoba? When?”

“Oh, the night Ranma learned about Ryoga's curse, of course,” Aphrodite said. “I thought that the boy would give in to his urges and rape this delightful little red head.”

“Ranma already knew about Ryoga's curse...” Nabiki started to say, but she was cut off by an interjection from Aphrodite.

“Not his directional curse, nearly everyone knows about that. Many people don't know about the curse he picked up in China, do they, Ranma?”

Onna-Ranma was now purple. He stared up at the ceiling and remained silent. This made his large breasts far more prominent and his nipples betrayed his arousal through his thin tank top.

“You did not realize that your little sister is involved in a rather complicated love triangle, did you Tendo-san?”

“Akane's got way more love interests than she wants,” Nabiki said.

“Indeed, yes, she does,” Aphrodite said in agreement as she maintained contact with Onna-Ranma's face. “One would think that she is a patron of my rather too chaste cousin, Diana. She seems to have that kind of temperament, but then she is saddled with as many yearning and would-be lovers as Atalanta was. _That_ was a tragedy in its own right.”

Nabiki stared at the Goddess of Love lost in thought.

Aphrodite removed her hand from Onna-Ranma's cheek, and his curse reverted without hot water; he was male again.

“Watching your ongoing romp with your too-too many partners has been hugely entertaining, Saotome Ranma,” Aphrodite said, with an amused lilt in her voice. “Far more entertaining than anything I've seen in centuries.”

“Oh, yeah! I'm sure it has been one thrill a minute for someone like you,” Ranma said, sounding annoyed. “Why have you been playing with me?”

“ _Moi_?” Aphrodite gave Ranma a mock pout. “Surely thy jest!”

“Well, somebody's been makin' a mess 'o my life!” Ranma shouted as a look of annoyance burned across his ruggedly handsome face. “I mean, who else woulda seen to it that I get turned into a girl ever-time I git splashed with cold water? Who but a God or Goddess is powerful enough to do such a thing?”

Aphrodite burst out laughing. “The curse was not aimed at you, Saotome-san. It was intended for your father!”

This did more than annoy Ranma, it enraged him.

“Shit-daddy? He's gotta curse of his own! Why didja haff to mix me up in his punishment?”

“Because it is written, my dear Ranma,” Aphrodite answered. “The iniquities of the father are visited even unto the fourth generation of his descendants. You, my poor dear handsome boy, are but the first of his descendants. Your children will suffer less but much the same and then your grandchildren and your great grandchildren will suffer in their turn. Once your great grandchildren are grown, the curses your father earned might loosen their grip on his family.

Ranma groaned and even Nabiki felt sympathy for him, or let a little of what she felt show. Ranma had long suspected that her Ice Queen facade hid many secrets -- most of which he did not want to know.

Aphrodite reached up and caressed Ranma's cheek with the palm of her hand and he once again turned into his cursed form.

“Why dya keep doin' that?” Onna-Ranma shouted. “Dontcha know that it embarrasses the hell outta me?”

Aphrodite laughed again, an outright thigh-slapper of a belly laugh this time. “Embarrassment was what your father was supposed to suffer from, Ranma. The curse was meant as a blessing to you.”

Ranma's jaw sagged “A wha...?”

Aphrodite tilted her head down so that she was staring into Onna-Ranma's sapphire blue eyes. “How many other guys do you know who can enjoy being a real female, hmm? The only reason being female is a curse to you is because you _believe_ it to be a curse. You therefore fail to take full advantage of it.

”Oh, come on!” Nabiki interjected. “He takes advantage of it all the time.”

Aphrodite smiled as she let her hand drop, making both Ranma and Nabiki alike shiver with lust at the same time. “Oh, I don't mean just using his looks to sweet talk men out of food and other favors. He must take full advantage of the curse before it will ever be a blessing. That is the way Jusenkyou works, you know.”

Ranma was deeply puzzled and frowned, but Nabiki gave out a hooting laugh worthy of Kodachi on one of her higher trips.

“Oh, don't worry Ranma-san,” Aphrodite said in an impish voice. “You need not carry a child to term. You only need to risk pregnancy to get the full blessing of Jusenkyou.”

Ranma's eyes were now glazed over as though he had been struck by an overhand right from Prince Herb, Lord of the Musk.

“We Gods fully expected you to have taken the great life-changing chance before now, but we had not counted on your fanatic of a mother,” Aphrodite said. “The additional pressure from her has trapped you into staying cursed.”

“Please leave my mother out of this!” Ranma said. “She had nuthin' ta do with it.”

“Well...” Aphrodite was about to enlighten him further, but Hera strolled across the floor, causing Aphrodite to beat an immediate retreat into nothingness.

“She dare _not_ leave your mother out of it, Ranma-san,” Hera stated in an imperious voice. Ranma and Nabiki alike felt the weight of each word she spoke. “It was _she_ who chose your father as her mate. _She_ must now live with the consequences of _her_ decision. It is only just that _she_ pay for her indulgence in wishful thinking.”

“The woman's insane!” Nabiki shouted. “There is no way any woman in her right mind would have chosen Genma to be her mate!”

“Oh, so says little Miss Wise-ass who has wasted most of her early youth pretending to be something she isn't!” Hera said.

Nabiki's face fell.

Hera pointed at Ranma and said, “Do you know why you find this young man so irresistible?”

If the floor had been ice, Nabiki would have melted a hole in it and disappeared, but it was marble and she couldn't to that. Ranma found himself staring at her feeling true horror for the umpteenth time in his young life.

“It is because he is loved by both Gods and Goddesses!” Hera declared. “Zeus and Susano-wo-Mikoto Kami both love him as they would a son.”

Nabiki's face all but sagged to her knees. “You mean he's royalty?”

“No, he is soon to be a demigod, which in many ways is far better, but in many ways vastly more uncomfortable.”

“But what about Akane...”

Hera smiled. “I love your sister the way I would love my own daughter, Tendou-san.”

“Oh, that explains so much!” Nabiki shouted. She ground her teeth together as though she were suddenly angry. Ranma naturally assumed that she could not help herself and was puzzled by Nabiki's unexpected behavior, but he was not that familiar with the Greek pantheon.

“Can I be certain that you are not our mother?” Nabiki asked in a tight voice.

Hera's only response was a silent smile at Nabiki as she faded from sight.

“Oh, my! Oh, shit! Oh, dear!” Nabiki exclaimed. Her voice echoed around the portico as it reflected off of its hard marble surfaces.

Ranma stared at Nabiki and shook his head, trying to clear it.

“I don't unnerstand why you're here,” Ranma said.

“I am here because I have been charged with hubris and sacrilege,” Nabiki said. “Weren't you paying attention?”

“Yeah, but this is _my_ dream, Nabiki-chan, not yours.”

“It figures!” Nabiki exclaimed. “He can't really tell the difference between reality and his imagination.”

“Wha...”

“This is really happening, Saotome!” Nabiki said as tears streamed down her face. “You are about to be given the test that is given to a demigod -- and -- I -- I am about to stand trial for my sins against the Deities. I'm not sure which of us the worse off.”

“I thought you didn't even believe in the supernatural, let alone the Greek Gods, Nabiki-chan.”

“Well, I didn't before now. That is one of the sins I'm been charged with. I can't make up my mind whether disbelief falls under hubris or sacrilege.”

“Both,” the amused voice of Hermes answered as he flashed around the portico. “Arrogance often goes hand in hand with the refusal to acknowledge the truth of the Universe, but don't worry, Tendou-san. You're one of my favorite mortals. I shall happily argue in your favor. We Gods and Goddesses have done a piss poor job of proving our existence to you mortals. I blame the situation on the attitude of Jehovah, myself, but then I'm just one God among many Kami.”

 _Damn, he's fast!_ Ranma thought. _I gotta spar with him some time. I don't think I'll ever lay a hand on 'im, but it'll be fun tryin'._

“Ah, yes, the Saotome Childe!” Hermes said in an amused voice as he took note of Ranma's presence. “Ever ready to test his mettle against all comers.”

Hermes stuck out his right hand. Ranma found himself accepting it the way a westerner might have done. This time it was not anything like what he had experienced with the God of Smiths.

“I am pleased to have you in My presence, Saotome-san,” Hermes said. “I've been itching to meet you for the last two years. You're famous here in the Heavenly Plane you know.”

“ _Et tu_ , Hermes?” Nabiki asked.

“Me too what, Nabiki-chan?” Hermes asked. “You think I don't need a break from business and diplomacy once in a while? Sports are one of my favorite distractions -- as they are one of yours.”

Nabiki managed to look mildly chagrined. “I must admit that I really do like watching him beat blood and snot out of those wooden headed fools at Furinkan.”

“I know,” Hermes smiled and said. “I do too. Most of that is divine retribution, by the way. All of them will be spared much punishment in th future for having fallen afoul of our young hero, here. He has been working for us for several years now, even though he remained ignorant of it.”

Ranma was now thoroughly embarrassed; his face turned as red as barn paint.

Hermes turned to look at him and exclaimed, “He's easily embarrassed as well. That's unusual in a hero. Most of them are insufferable braggarts.”

“Oh, please!” Nabiki exclaimed. “Just stick around for an hour or so.”

Hermes laughed and Ranma's face went from red to a deep puce. Then Hermes vanished as three other people in heavy armor slowly appeared. The process reminded Nabiki of something very like what happened in a popular science fiction series about space travel. Neither Nabiki nor Ranma could recognize them for who they were. Ranma dropped back into a ready stance that did not look like a ready-to-fight stance.

One of the trio off her helmet revealing that her hair was a deep shade of red. It was so dark that it was barely brighter than pure black. Her eyes were an unnatural jade green in color. She dropped to her knees and her armor gave out an audible clank; she hugged Ranma's thighs just above his knees with both arms, making Ranma grimace with discomfort. Her breastplate had been shaped to fit over her ample bosom she had pressed it hard against his shins.

“My name is Enyo, Ranma-sama. I am a daughter of Zeus and Hera and twin sister to Ares, the God of War. I am at your beck and call, O Brave Warrior -- ever at your service.”

Ranma was now horrified to the point of petrification. He stood as still as a stone as the Goddess slowly worked her way up to her fully erect height. She was actually taller than Ranma by a head-and-a-half. That did not stop her from kissing him on his frozen lips -- not that he wanted to stop her. Ranma had never refused a good looking woman much.

Ranma shuddered as all the negative human emotions flood his being during the kiss: fear, horror, fury, blood-lust and exaltation mixed with the fierce pride that can only come from slaying a dangerous enemy, all of which he had felt during the battle of Jusendou, but then came the horrifying sense of loss and the shock that always follows after the damage is surveyed. He was mentally transported to a battlefield and wondered why he had never been shocked by all the property damage done during one of his fights. The damage done to once comfortable dwellings alone was enough to give him guilty pause, let alone the devastated orchards surrounding them. The ragged and leafless trees turned the mild sunlight into the flames of a raging furnace. He coughed when he inhaled the dust, and the caw of ravens made him flinch.

The kiss ended without warning and Ranma found himself standing beneath the high roof of the stone portico. He shivered -- not with pleasure, but from the sudden cold that started at his heels and ran up his back, spreading over the top of his head. It was like being hit from behind by a bucket of ice water. He felt the tingle of his curse being invoked and heard Enyo gasp with surprise.

“Oh, you've been to that place!” Enyo exclaimed. “I did not know. Do you remain as fierce in battle in your cursed form?”

Onna-Ranma merely gave Enyo a cold silent stare.

“He's much more fierce in his cursed form,” Nabiki interjected. “It is a must for him because he is so much smaller after his curse is invoked.”

Delight danced across the scary but beautiful features of Enyo's face. “I see. You truly are a wonder. It is amazing that you are not kin to any of us, but you are human, right down to your tiniest hair.”

“Urgh...er...ah...” Ranma said.

“You will have to forgive Ranma's lack of eloquence,” Nabiki said. “He never uses words much and is unfamiliar with most of them.”

Enyo smiled grimly as she caressed Ranma's cheek with one hand. “Words are for diplomats. Fighting men have very different ways of communicating.”

“I'll say,” Nabiki said as she smirked at Ranma's plight. “Just wait'll my sister hears about all this.”

“Yes, I know your sister, Tendou-san,” Enyo said with another grim smile. “She is among the fondest of my worshipers.”

“Akane worships an obscure Greek Goddess?” Nabiki asked in a startled voice. “I'm surprised that she even knows about you.”

“It isn't necessary for her to know about me,” Enyo said. “She only needs to act the way she does to worship me. This ease of worship is the reason for your disbelief in us Gods.”

“Thanks for the tip, Enyo-no-Kami,” Nabiki said with a grim smile. “I'll remember that in the hard times to come.”

“Don't thank me now, Tendou-san,” Enyo said in cold voice that sounded very much like a sword being drawn from its sheath. “You might well find yourself convicted.”

“At least you have given me a way out of the complaint,” Nabiki said.

“There is that, I suppose,” Enyo-no-Kami said. “Allow me to introduce my nephews, Phobos and Deimos. They and their father, Ares, loves to watch you fight, Saotome-sama. We are here because He is busy in the Middle East.”

The other two figures, who had remained at a distance, removed their helmets revealing very ugly and frightening faces. Even Ranma flinched at the sight of them.

“Say goodbye to the mortals, boys,” Enyo-no-Kami said in a command voice. “It is time for us to be off.”

Zeus flashed into existence in the middle of the portico as Enyo and her two hideous nephews faded out into the void. He towered over them while He threw a lightning bolt at Ranma even before He became completely visible. Ranma's keenly trained sense of danger went off so that his quick reflexes were able to keep him out of harm's way. The lighting was not a joke. It made a small crater in the marble floor that was surrounded by a small swarm of fulgerites. Ranma responded with an attack on Zeus that was too quick for the human eye to follow, but he was no match for the wily Father of the Universe.

Zeus laughed aloud as he ducked Ranma's flying kick, then again as Ranma touched down on the floor behind the King of Gods, trying to get in a blow on the all powerful God with an over-the-shoulder kick that most men were incapable of. Zeus laughed again as he neatly avoided Ranma's furious and futile attacks.

“Stop!” Zeus commanded, and Ranma froze in the middle of his next attack. Nabiki admired and lusted after Ranma's frozen form. His muscles were still bulging from the effort of attacking Zeus Almighty.

“Careful there, Ranma,” Zeus said. “I might have to bring you up on the charges we have brought against your admirer and want-to-be lover here.”

Ranma rolled his eyes at Nabiki, giving her a very unhappy glare.

Zeus looked Nabiki in the eye saying, “Don't deny that you have a stash of photographs of his male form, Tendou-san. I know that you keep them handy for those cold and lonely nights.”

Nabiki's face turned red. “There's nothing that I can hide from you Gods, is there?”

“No one can,” Zeus said with a hale fellow well met laugh. “It's what makes us Gods -- well -- Gods.”

Nabiki thought about this for a moment, and then said, “I plead guilty to the charges that all creatures on the Kami Plane have brought against me and throw myself on your mercy, O mighty Zeus.” She then fell to her knees with her forehead on the floor.

Zeus stared down at the groveling Nabiki and smiled. “I suspect your misbehavior was the result of an honest mistake. I shall bear this in mind during your sentencing, Tendou Nabiki,” Zeus said. “I _shall_ be merciful to you.”

“Thank you, O mighty Zeus,” Nabiki said, without raising her head.

Zeus then turned to Ranma and said, “And as for you, my girlish boy, what have you to say for attacking me, the Lord God of all Creation?”

“You had it comin'!” Ranma shouted. “You tried to fry my ass with a lightnin' bolt!”

“Indeed I did, Saotom-san,” Zeus said with a belly laugh. “You should have seen the look on your face.”

“What? You like scarin' the shit out of mortals like me?” Ranma asked.

Zeus responded with another heartfelt laugh. “You may move about now.”

Ranma slowly retrieved his limbs from the stance he was in when Zeus order him to freeze. It was a marvelous sight for anyone who knows anything about the Martial Arts. Ranma did not move so much as he flowed from statue in a painful pose to human standing on the floor normally. He did not fully relax, but stayed at the ready while appearing to be relaxed.

Zeus beamed at Ranma and then at the still groveling Nabiki. “The two of you return home now,” Zeus thundered. “I shall send Hermes around to deliver the Verdict of Heaven for both of you. Pray that the others are as kindly disposed toward you as I am.”'

There was a loud crackling sound followed by a sudden swirl of colors and patterns. Ranma then realized that he was falling from a great height -- too great. His skills at using ki would not help him this time. This fall would surely be fatal. The ground approached rapidly and just before he hit, he shut his eyes. Then he reailzed that the ground was very, very soft. He opened his eyes only to find that he was lying face down on his futon.

He then discovered that his entire body had become entangled in his own covers. He wiped the sweat from his brow and sighed.

“Just a frikkin' dream!” Ranma shook his head. “I can't believe that it was just a dream. It was so damned real.”

He untangled his legs from the covers; got to his feet and stumbled about gathering his bath things. It was still the wee hours in the morning -- long before sunrise -- but he knew that he could not sleep for the rest of the night with all the sticky sweat coating his skin. It made him feel dirty and uncomfortable.

“City life is startin' to soften me up,” Ranma muttered to himself. “How about that. Shit-daddy was right. Ya _do_ hafta git out on the road to learn how to cope with real hardship...and here I thought all this time that he had been using that line of crap as an excuse to dodge any real work.”

As he reached the head of the stairs, Ranma noticed that Nabiki was stepping off of the bottom step, just as he made the first step down. She disappeared around the corner to her left and then he heard the door to the furoba sliding open and shut.

Ranma rolled his eyes to the heavens as he continued down the stairs.

“Looks like I'm gonna hafta use Soun's garden hose outside,” Ranma muttered. “It's cold enough to make yer nuts shrivel up an hide behind yer belly button out there -- and the water's gonna be worse.”

Once he stepped down onto the floor he decided that taking a cold bath outside would be good for him. “Gettin' too soft, dammit! Just _t_ _oo_ _damned_ soft.”

Nabiki was waiting on the engawa with a kettle of warmed water as Onna-Ranma finished his ablutions. Given the nature of his dreams, he had decided to turn his bath into a formal quasi-religious ritual. He actually prayed and everything.

“Hello, hero,” Nabiki said with a lascivious smile, “but that's soon to be demigod, isn't it?”

That alarms went off in Onna-Ranma's head and bounced around behind his lovely face.

“Ya mean all that was not just a nightmare? You were really there?” Onna-Ranma squeaked. He was shocked almost beyond words.

Nabiki poured deliciously warm water over Onna-Ranma's cold wet body, revoking his curse. Then she handed him a towel and he started drying off his naked body -- well mostly naked -- he was still wearing his wet boxers. Nabiki threw her arms around his shoulders, pressing her braless bosom up against his hard flat chest. He could feel her stiff nipples beneath her flannel nightgown.

 _Funny how much softer a woman_ _is than a man_ _,_ Ranma thought. _I am more aware of it because I'm a girl for about half the time. I'm fixin' ta get a stiffie. Akane'll kill us both if she sees this._

Nabiki kissed Ranma full on his lips and then stuck her tongue in his mouth. This alarmed him to no end. He did his best to resist and felt his manhood harden up until it felt as though he had a nightstick stuffed down the one leg of his pants.

 _Nabiki feels like she's on fire!_ Ranma thought. He was now even more alarmed than he would have been if Shampoo had done the same thing to him. _Nabiki's a lot smarter than Shampoo is. She always gets what she wants_ _._ _What'd I do to her? Has she really had the hots for me all this time?_

Nabiki pulled back from the kiss.

“You should enjoy this, Ranma, Nabiki said with the look of a sexy imp on her face. “It'll be our only time together.”

“There ain't enough time for what you have in mind, Nabiki.” Ranma was now choking out his words.

“So you're going to let me die a virgin?” Nabiki asked.

“You ain't gonna die, Nabiki,” Ranma said. “I won't allow it.”

“Hah! Fat lot of good you'll do against the likes of Zeus.”

“You ain't doin' what yer supposed ta do, ya know,” Ranma said in a voice now hoarse with lust. “You ain't thinkin' things through.”

Nabiki rocked back and allowed her weight to hang from Ranma's neck by the knots on her slender wrists and frowned up at Ranma's face. He knew that he was staring at her with heated lust, but he could not help it. No real man could.

“I suppose I did allow the wrong part of my anatomy do my thinking,” Nabiki said as she ground her pubic arch up against his crotch. The heat coming from that part of her body was more overwhelming than even Shampoo's usually was.

“And another part of mine is about to seize control of this whole situation if you don't let me go right now!”

Nabiki pouted and rubbed her crotch against his one more time.

“Pity, but true.”

Then she let go of his neck and stood up straight. “So, now you know it was more than a dream, right?”

“Yeah, I do,” Ranma said. “I've never had a dream that was so real as that nightmare was. It's even harder for me to believe that it was anything more than my ego at work.”

Nabiki reached out and grabbed Ranma's throbbing member with one hand. “If you're not going to let me die with my virginity, how are you going to save my life?”

“By doing whatever you tell me to do, Nabiki-chan,” Ranma whispered. Nabiki's grip on his throbbing member was driving him up a mental wall. “You do the thinkin' in this operation -- thinkin' ain't my long suit.”

Nabiki made a derisive face. “You're one hell of lot smarter than you let on, Saotome. The stupid jock act has worn thin on me.”

“So I noticed,” Ranma said as he grabbed her by the wrist, “but it doesn't change the fact that you are better equipped to do the plannin', now does it?”

“Ranma!” Akane wailed in her sleep. Her shouts were loud enough for both of them to hear.

“She's reliving Jusendou in her sleep again, Saotome,” Nabiki said. The heat boiling off of her body went out like candle that had been blown out by a north wind in winter. “She's been doing that since you guys got home from China.”

Ranma stood there staring up a the second floor balcony with his wretched feelings playing across his face. He could not stop showing them. Akane's troubles had been cause by his presence at Tendou-ke. Had it not been for him, she would never have been kidnapped and dragged to that awful place in China. His guilt over what had happened to Akane tore at him like cat claws.

Nabiki thumped his chest with her elbow. “Don't just stand there with your teeth in your mouth, Saotome! Go comfort my little sister.”

Ranma gave Nabiki a hard stare. “Promise not to get jealous?”

“Jealous of my sister?” Nabiki asked. “Never! You belong to her, not me. I just wanna borrow you once in a great while, that's all.”

Ranmaa, no-o-o!” Akane cried out in a forlorn voice. “Don't go without me!”

“Git, Saotome!”

Goaded by guilt and Nabiki's insistence, Ranma made it up the stairs in just two hops.

“Sooner or later you're gonna hafta give in and have sex with her, ya know!” Nabiki called up to Ranma.

He flashed her a glare that showed a mix of anger and embarrassment.

“And don't look at me in that tone of voice!” Nabiki shouted again. “Try seducing her with your girl half on her first.”

Ranma rolled his eyes and yanked the door to Akane's room open and disappeared inside.

* * *

Nabiki felt wretched and her body language showed it. She staggered around the room twice, then flipped the switch that turned on the electric heater beneath the dining table in the _chanoma_ , then flopped down beside it. She stuck her long slender legs beneath the table to warm them up and the propped her head up with the heals of both hands on her forehead and her elbows on the table.

“Akane's not going to be happy knowing that Ranma has at least two more fiancées,” she muttered. “Me and Enyo-no-Kami are now officially on the list of her worries. If she's lucky, Kasumi still doesn't have an interest in him.”

“Oh, I've had an interest in him from day one,” Kasumi said, startling Nabiki out of her wits. She jerked so hard that it hurt her entire body. She sat bolt upright and stared hard at her eldest sister.

Kasumi smiled back at her. “Don't look so shocked. The boy has grown increasingly handsome since he first arrived here. He's very easy on the eyes.”

“I thought you didn't like younger men,” Nabiki said, feeling her stomach plummet.

“Ranma's not so young anymore,” Kasumi said. “He's his own man now. Ready to do as he pleases.”

“Oh, please don't tell me you that you're fa...”

“Falling for him?” Kasumi asked. “In lust maybe, but I find it necessary to resist those impulses. What about you? Did you make some kind of late night confession to him?”

“Not exactly,” Nabiki said. “We traveled to the Kami Plane together. One of the Kami told him how much I'm attracted to him.”

Kasumi's eyes widened.

“Oh, really? Did they tell him about all those pictures you took of him bathing?”

Nabiki felt her face grow hot with embarrassment. “Yes, as a matter of fact, Zeus did.”

“Zeus? Really?” Kasumi asked in a disbelieving voice. “You really believe that there is a kami named Zeus?”

“Yes, Zeus,” Nabiki said dryly. “He's the chief God of the Greek Pantheon.”

“I know what the myths say, little sister,” Kasumi said, “but I thought that you did not believe in any sort of supernatural beings or phenomena of any kind.”

“That was before tonight,” Nabiki said.

“Just what did happen tonight?” Kasumi asked. “Why have you changed your mind?”

“Because tonight the entire Eastern Pantheon brought me up on charges of sacrilege and hubris.”

Kasumi considered this statement for a few seconds, then said, “Well, at least your subconsciousness knows what you're guilty of.”

“It's more than my subconscious, sister dear, Ranma was there too.”

“Ranma and you in the same dream?”

“Yes, only it was me dreaming about Ranma, it was Ranma and me having the same dream.”

“Oh, really?” What did the Kami charge Ranma with then? Murdering Saffron?”

“No, they want to him to undergo testing to become a full demigod.”

“Hmm, why the Greek Pantheon?” Kasumi asked. “Isn't that the wrong set of Kami for you and Ranma?”

“I demanded a change of venue from the Oriental Pantheons,” Nabiki said. “It seemed only fair. I was afraid they already had their minds made up about me and my alleged crimes. _They_ chose the Greek Pantheon, not Ranma and me.”

Kasumi's face looked far less than convinced. “Have you been sneaking into Grandfather's saki again?”

“No.”

“Have you been experimenting with marijuana or some other drug?”

“Of course not!” Nabiki screamed. “Who do you take me for?”

“I once thought you were an intelligent young woman completely lacking in any superstition or even religious beliefs whatsoever, but now I see that I was wrong.”

“Just because I've been to the Kami Plane?” Nabiki asked in a voice growing more incredulous with every question her elder sister asked.

Kasumi's stare was as calm and cool as a mountain lake, but it was equally implacable. “No, because you claimed to have gone their in your sleep and have not died,” Kasumi said. “You must admit that your claims are quite extraordinary.”

This forced Nabiki to pause for thought. “I agree,” she said, returning Kasumi's cold implacable stare. “You don't have to believe me, so don't ask me any more questions until you have discussed this with Ranma.”

The two girls sat and stared at each other during the long silence that ensued. They heard Akane making comfortable noises from upstairs accompanied by indistinct words in Ranma's voice. It was clear that he was trying to calm their youngest sister.

Kasumi sighed. “We shall talk again after breakfast -- and after I have had a discussion with Ranma.”

“Fair enough, Big Sister,” Nabiki said, “but then we are going to have to talk about this Kami-sama of yours. He isn't the only God around, is he?”

Kasumi was non-plussed and so remained silent as she left for the kitchen.

“There she goes hiding behind those dishpan hands of hers,” Nabiki said. “What a waste.”


	2. The Verdict

A cold front made its way through Nerima during the night, precipitating out of existence the acrid fog of greater Tokyo and leaving burning blue skies behind itself. _These conditions_ _will_ _last for at least two days,_ Kasumi thought stepped out into the back yard, _perhaps more. It all depends on how much cold air the mountains have restrained._

The final outcome of the cold front's advance remained to be seen, but Kasumi Tendou was determined to enjoy the beautifully clear weather while it lasted. She was torn between a long crystalline cold spell and ephemeral spot of clarity between long bouts of hazy smog. She, like most Japanese people, rather enjoyed the impermanent and loved her melancholy just as much as her neighbors did. This is why the sakura blossoms are rabidly followed as they bloom across Japan during the spring. The Japanese are enthralled with the fleeting nature of life.

She hummed to herself as she undertook to accomplish several outside chores: hanging out the laundry, airing out bedding, sweeping the walks - any excuse to stay outside and be free of the aging Tendou-ke would do for her. She needed a change of pace. It was October and Tokyo weather is always miserable in October. A day like this in October is always something to be appreciated by a native of Tokyo. Too bad that most of them are too busy to note the weather.

It was well past the morning rush hour and the narrow streets of their neighborhood were quiet, save for the odd pedestrian, there was no traffic on them at all. There came a whooshing sound like the approach of tsunami, as a series of bright flashes like the sun hammering a whirling group of mirrors suddenly blinded her.

Through the dazzle came a calm clear, yet insistent voice: "Tendou-san? I have a message for you one of your sisters and Ranma. Will you please deliver it to them?"

Kasumi shook off the effects of the noise and flashing sunlight. She found herself standing in the front gate, but she was puzzled because she could not remember having opened it. There was a long tall drink of a man standing in front of her with an exceedingly winning smile. He wore a round chrome plated hat with wings on it - not painted wings - wings that had been hammered out of thin silver that looked like the wings of a bird. He had golden colored wings on his sandals.

 _Sandals?_ Kasumi thought. _Sandals with golden wings attached to them?_

She looked past the man and out onto the street there was a strange vehicle floating above it at about the level where an ordinary car would sit on its wheels, but this car had no wheels and it was streamlined, much like an airplane, but it was not an airplane - or any other sort of vehicle that she had ever seen before. It looked like something from a series based on science fiction. It emitted a faint hum as Kasumi stared at it in amazement.

"Tendou-san?" The strange man asked. "Will you give this letter to your sister and Saotome-san?"

Kasumi shook her head and focused her eyes on the face of the man standing within easy reach of her arms. She found herself blushing like a teenager despite her having left her teen years behind a long time - two entire years - ago. Everything about this man shouted: "I'm great! Look at me!" Yet no one but Kasumi had noticed him -- so far. Her first instinct was to try and see if he were married.

"Of course, Sir," Kasumi said as brightly and politely as she could. She was still trying to recover from her shock from his grand entrance into her life. She focused her mind on what had been written on the man's vehicle. The message was very subtly done; the characters had been formed by making parts of the finish less shiny than the rest so that they appeared to be a barely visible frosting. They read _Uchuu Hisayaku-kyo_ , or Cosmic Delivery Service.

Kasumi was desperate to engage this handsome stranger in conversation so she asked, "Er, uh, is that your truck?"

The man smiled at her and it was as though the sun had just come out all over again. "Yes, it is. It's very nice. Would you like to ride in it?"

Kasumi tingled all over as her heart raced up faster than it had beat since before her mother died. It was like being back in high school all over again.

"I'd love to," Kasumi said. "Any time you want to pick me up."

The man beamed at her and Kasumi felt her heart race away all a flutter.

"I'll have time to take you on a trip tomorrow. May I stop by here at eight in the morning tomorrow?"

"How long will..."

"Oh, just for the day, provided you don't want to hang around with me longer than that," the man said with a knowing smile.

Kasumi took the neatly folded envelope from the man as she glanced around to make certain that no one was in earshot

"Yes, please do. I look forward to it."

"I'll be here," the man said. "Eight o'clock sharp."

"I'll be right here waiting," Kasumi said. She was grinning like a child opening a Christmas present. She was simply dying to unwrap this guy's gifts.

"See you then, Kasumi-san," the man said. He strutted back over to his vehicle. A hole simply appeared in its side and steps literally formed out of the post-space aged materials it was made from. He clambered aboard and the front end of it became transparent. He waved at her and was then suddenly gone - vanished. There was only silence left in the wake of his departure.

* * *

Kasumi turned to close the gate and it was only then that she realized that she had just agreed to go out with a grown man, in his late thirties, whose name she did not know. The heavy gate swung closed and its latch clattered as it fell into place.

"Why didn't I ask him for his name?" Kasumi asked the empty yard. "What happened to me? Why was I so dazzled by him? It simply is not proper! I can't possibly..."

Then her brain got back into gear. _What on Earth is so improper about a woman doing what comes natural to a woman?_ Kasumi's mind asked. _He is the most handsome and definitely the most engaging man you've met in your entire life._

 _But I don't know a thing about him!_ Another part of her brain protested. _For all I know, he could be a serial killer!_

 _Nonsense!_ The impressed part of her personality answered. _We know better than that. We would have sensed something wrong with if he were._

_Oh, please! Your just desperate for masculine company._

_And you aren't?_

_Well, okay, we both are, but we are not this desperate. Going off with a complete stranger? That's just not us!_

_Oh, no! We're just Daddy's partial replacement for Mom and resented elder sister to our sisters. We'll be here for ever working our hands to the bone and not having any children of our own to cuddle. Why should WE have any fun?_

_Congratulations! You just made that guys offer look inviting, but I'm still afraid._

_Oh, don't be. He's all right. All he wants is to make us happy for a while._

_Maybe he'll make us..._

_Shush! Don't go there._ _Tisn't_ _proper._

Kasumi shook her head and looked at the envelope. It had writing on it that was obviously the same script she had seen on the floating truck, but she had no clue about what it meant, other than she could recognize the names of her sister and Ranma.

 _Why can I understand the names and not the rest of what is written on this envelope?_ She wondered. _I have never seen this kind of writing before. Why can I understand certain parts of it and not the rest? I should not be able to understand any of it._

Kasumi opened the front door and took her shoes off. Once she had on her house slippers she went into the house proper.

She found Akane sitting at the table in the chanoma. She was studying from her history textbook. Kasumi dropped the envelope on the page that Akane was reading and said, “Please tell me what this says, if you can, Akane."

Akane froze into place and stared at the envelope for a few seconds, then picked it up.

"This is really good paper," Akane said. "It must have cost a fortune."

"I'm sure it did, but can you read what is written on it?"

"Well, I can make out that it is addressed to - Nabiki and Ranma! What is he up to know?" Akane shouted. "What has he been doing with my sister?"

"Perhaps you should be asking yourself what _she_ has been doing with him, for a change, Akane," Kasumi said. "You are always so quick to blame Ranma for everything."

"My own sister?" Akane shouted as she reflexively clinched her fists. The envelope crinkled up into a tightly folded bundle; it now looked much like a crumpled fan. Akane realized what she had done and let go of the envelope. It fluttered to the floor without so much as a single crease or wrinkle in it.

Kasumi and Akane alike stared down at the should-have-been-creased envelope with astonishment.

"Oh, yes," Kasumi said with a gasp. "It has to be the very best paper ever made."

Akane frowned at the envelope as she picked it up. She shoved her feet back beneath the table where the kotatsu could keep them warm.

"I really can't understand anything else that is written on this envelope. All I can make out is 'Tendou Nabiki and Saotome Ranma, Tendou-ke Nerima.' The rest is just incomprehensible scribbling as far as I can tell."

"That's strange," Kasumi said with a frown wrinkling her forehead. "The only thing I could make out when I first saw it were the names of Ranma and Nabiki, now I can see the same thing you do. I can read the address as well."

"This is really strange writing," Akane said. "I have never seen it before, but I can understand parts of it. Why is that?"

"If you think this is a puzzle, Akane, you should have seen the dreamboat that delivered it just a few minutes ago."

"Dreamboat?" Akane asked. "You mean a really handsome gentleman delivered this beautiful thing?"

Kasumi silently nodded her head.

"What was his name?" Akane asked.

"You already have Ranma, Akane."

"What? Just because I sort-of have Ranma I can't know the name of the courier who delivered this astonishing envelope?"

Kasumi, who is a great deal quicker on her feet than most people realize answered, "Not really, no. He's _mine_."

This statement shocked Akane into making her eyes as large as dinner plates. She stared at Kasumi and said, "Yours?"

"Yes. Mine! All mine! I saw him _first,_ " Kasumi said. "He's attracted to me, too. You go play with Ranma and his other suitors and leave _us_ alone."

Akane was shocked into laughing out loud. "You just met him, and you are already planning to elope?"

Kasumi thought about Akane's question. She had clearly meant it as a joke, but Kasumi realized that she was ready to do just that - _elope with a handsome stranger._

"Eight o'clock tomorrow morning," Kasumi said. "I'm going away with him and I won't be back 'til I'm good and ready."

Akane's mouth sagged open as she turned as white as a sheet. She finally recovered after a very long minute or so and shouted, "Kasumi!"

Nabiki then came down the stairs. "What is all this I'm hearing?"

"Kasumi's going to elope," Akane said. "At eight o'clock tomorrow morning."

Nabiki stopped and stared at Kasumi and then looked at Akane. Then studied Kasumi. "With whom?"

"With the guy that brought this," Akane said as she scooped up the wrinkle proof envelope. "Kasumi was very taken with him."

Nabiki did not touch the envelope. She knew what it was with a mere glance. "Go get Ramma, Akane." Her voice was cold as ice.

"Why?" Akane asked. "It's addressed to both of you. Don't you want to read it first? That would give you an edge over Ranma."

"I don't want to read it at all, little sister," Nabiki said as she began to silently tear up. "Just go get Ranma."

"He's finally studying for a change," Akane said. "I..."

"Just go get Ranma you silly little witch!" Nabiki shouted at the top of her voice. It was surprisingly loud and she managed to blast Akane's hair back.

Akane glared at Nabiki. "What have you been doing with him, Nabiki?"

"Me? With Ranma? You really think that he would have anything to do with me?" Nabiki asked. "You have got to be the single most paranoid person I have ever met, Akane. Just go get your fiancé and bring him down here, dammit!"

Kasumi stared at Nabiki. Her middle sister looked as though she had been give several death sentences at one and the same time. She was that frightened.

"What are you afraid of, Nabiki dear?" Kasumi asked. "I haven't see you this morose since Mother died."

"Akane, go get Ranma! Now!" Nabiki once again shouted. "I mean it!"

"Why, Nabiki? Why should I?"

"Because this letter scares me shitless!" Nabiki shouted. "And it should frighten you shitless as well."

"But why?" Akane said.

 _Akane's as stubborn and truculent as ever,_ Kasumi thought. _I had best do something to calm things down._

"I'll go get him," Kasumi said as she started up the stairs. "Don't open the envelope until I bring him back, okay?"

Akane and Nabiki nodded their heads in unison.

* * *

As Kasumi ran up the stairs, Happosai swaggered in through the engawa doors. "Got a mighty fine catch this time! Mighty fine. I'll just love on 'em for a while and then sell 'em to some other bloke who isn't in good enough shape to collect his own."

Happosai had yet another bag of women and girl's underwear slung over his shoulder. He would fuss over them for a while and then put them on the market. Sales of the stolen panties was one of the things that kept Tendou-ke solvent.

Happosai spied the envelope in Akane's hand and quailed with fright. "Where did that come from?" His voice shrieked out the question; he was alarmed _that_ much.

"Kasumi says that it arrived today by some kind of courier service," Akane said.

Happosai immediately made a series of warding gestures and then disappeared in a cloud of not-quite-clean linen. Kasumi sipped out the front door while the linen was still settling on the floor.

Akane and Nabiki both groaned aloud as they began picking up Happosai's "silky darlings." They were still picking them up when Soun arrived with Genma. Both of them were as drunk as skunks.

* * *

They had been hitting the local beer joints more often recently and their returning home from an all night celebration over one of their piddly little successes. Their returning home inebriated had become something of a non-event.

"Where's Kasumi, girls," Soun asked. "Genma and I are hungry."

Nabiki gave the two men a cold stare and said, "I'll order take out, Daddy. Kasumi's got better things to do."

"Better things..." Soun paused because was well and truly puzzled. "What better things?"

"Oh, like eloping, because you haven't lived up to your duty," Akane said.

"Yeah, Daddy," Nabiki said. "You should have found Kasumi a husband _long_ before now."

Genma grunted and jerked his arm off of Soun's shoulders, then vomited on the grass of the back garden. His eructation smelled of boiled eggs and beer.

"I what?" Soun cried out. "Why? I didn't know that she even wanted a husband!"

"Oh, Daddy!" Nabiki said in an irritated voice. "You are so self-absorbed that it stopped being funny a thousand years ago. Of course she wants to get married. What else is a girl like Kasumi supposed to do? Keep house for us? Are you really as swinish as all that?"

"Yeah, Dad!" Akane interjected. "All you have ever thought about is what _you_ want. Not what _we_ want. This is the twentieth century, but you run around in a drunken stupor pretending that the Meiji Restoration never happened! Sometimes I just do not understand what it is with you and your decrepit outdated attitude."

Nabiki gave out an exasperated sigh and sat down, shoving her bare feet under the table. "Let Kasumi do the calling for their brunch! She's the one who has tolerated their rotten behavior all these years."

"Hmmph!" Akane snorted as she sat down next to Nabiki. "If she's going to go, she may as well leave saying: 'You should have done better by me!' I wouldn't look after them at all. They don't deserve it!"

"Ain't that the truth!" Nabiki said. "Kasumi's worked her ass off for you two old farts and all you've done for her is -- what? Oh, that's right. Nothing! Not one damned thing! She's even been wearing Mom's old clothes since she quit school to keep house for you, Dad."

Soun and Genma both were horrified by these all too accurate accusations, so they did what they always did when they were caught - they groveled. They were still groveling before the uncaring Akane and Nabiki when Kasumi came back with Ranma in tow.

"I found him in the park," Kasumi said. "He was working on his ki."

Akane rolled her eyes and stared at Ranma. "You're as bad as those two old fools! You know that, don't you?"

"Does he know why you brought him home, Kasumi?" Nabiki asked.

"I haven't told him a thing," Kasumi said. "I thought it best that he see for himself."

Akane waved the divine envelope at Ranma. "This is for you and Nabiki, you skank! Why you insist on cavorting with other women all the time is a complete mystery to me."

Soun and Genma stared hard at the envelope. Both of them realized that the paper it was made from was of exceptionally fine and expensive.

"Is that from the Tenno?" Soun asked.

"Can't be!" Genma interjected. "What would the Emperor want with a mere slip of a boy?"

If looks could kill, Genma would have dropped stone dead from the dirty look Ranma threw at him. Fortunately for the graceless Genma, looks can do no such thing - unless the glare happens to be from a one of the legendary Gorgons - so Ranma's angry stare did the ever fatuous Genma no harm whatsoever, but it did amuse the formidable thief and lousy father to no end. He answered Ranma's hateful glare with an equally hateful grin.

"It's from the Kami," Nabiki said. "They put me on trial for hubris and sacrilege."

* * *

Kasumi wanted to be amused, but suddenly decided that she should not show it. _After all, who was it who had suddenly jumped out her normal behavior pattern over a mere courier? It was none other than Tendou Kasumi, that's who._

Akane was scornful. "Oh, please! Now you're just having us on, Nabiki. There's no way that this came from the Kami."

"Actually, I think it is from the Greek Pantheon," Ranma said. "Who's it addressed to?"

"What'd they put you on trial for, Ranma?" Akane asked. "Bed hopping?"

"Actually, if you believe the myths about the Greek Pantheon, nearly all of them are sexually promiscuous. Almost none of them have any room to complain about Ranma," Nabiki said in a suddenly tired voice. She looked like death warmed over. "I'm gonna die a virgin."

"I won't allow that," Ranma said without thinking about who was in the room with him.

Soun and Genma both looked overjoyed. "He's gonna to knock two of 'em up!" They shouted in chorus.

Akane's battle aura suddenly expanded into a flare of previously unexampled magnitude and intensity. She put both of her fists on her hips and shouted. "And why do you say that, Ranma?"

"Because she's your sister, you a _ho_!" Ranma shouted back "D'ya really think she deserves to die that way?"

"That all depends, Ranma!" Akane shouted back.

"On what? What could you possibly mean by such a thing?" Ranma shouted.

"It depends on who she wants to give her virginity to, _you_ _baka_!" Akane shouted so loud that the windows rattled.

Ranma suddenly looked sheepish and hung his head.

Akane's aura suddenly turned into a green monstrous version of herself, replete with horns, and glared at Nabiki. "What did you do, Sister dear?" Akane's voice now sounded like the hissing of a very angry and very deadly snake. Her aural image even grew long prominent fangs as she spoke.

Nabiki shuddered with obvious fear. "I made a pass at your fiancé, Akane." Nabiki's voice was faint and squeaky. "Please, please forgive, me. I knew that I was guilty as charged by the Kami and that I am going to die soon."

Akane's aura went out like a candle in cold wind. "You really believe that you're going to die?"

"Yes! I am guilty of what the Kami have charged me with. I have never believed in anything supernatural. I decided it was all just made stories to keep us all in line. Now the Kami are so angry with me that I cannot see what else they might do to me. I'm going to die the most wretched death anyone could possibly suffer!"

"Or, they might actually do worse to you by keeping you alive," Kasumi said. "That is another possible option. Have you read about what they did to Tantalus?"

Nabiki responded by clapping a palm over each of her eyes and shed genuine tears from her fear and grief.

* * *

Other than the sobs from the distraught Nabiki, the chanoma became so quiet that you could hear an aluminium one yen coin fall on the tatami. Ranma puzzled over the envelope in this thick silence, trying to understand how it was supposed to be opened, but then it suddenly unfolded on its own. It fell out of Ranma's hands onto the table. Then it emitted a series of bright coruscations accompanied by the sound of distant thunder. After that, a three dimensional image of Zeus appeared hovering over it. The image looked Ranma right in the eye as it began to speak.

In the matter of Saotome Ranma, I, almighty Zeus, the King of the entire Universe, do hereby decree that he shall be given twelve very difficult tasks to finish. Should he succeed in all twelve of these heavenly chores, I shall make Saotome Ranma a demigod. As the current demigod and representative of mankind to the Kami Plain, he shall enjoy an enormously long life. I shall also give him a place in the heavens once he eventually dies, provided he does something useful and sacred with that long life. Saotome Ranma," Zeus paused his speech for effect. "You have great expectations to live up to. Do your absolute best."

Ranma, contrary to everyone's expectations fell to his knees and put his forehead on the floor.

"O, mighty Zeus, Lord of the Universe, I am but an humble martial artist. I do not yet even have a license to teach my family's art. I shall be eternally grateful to you and all the other Kami who have honored me with this opportunity.

"The image of Zeus beamed at Ranma. "You are most welcome, Ranma."

"However, I beg that you forgive Tendou Nabiki for her alleged sins against the Kami. If necessary, I will meet any challenge you name to save her from the heavenly wrath about to be visited upon her."

"I am glad to hear you make such an offer, O Mighty Hero and Heroine," Zeus cried out between bursts of laughter. "She shall be given to you as an advisor. Should she give you good advice her and you follow it closely, thereby completing the tasks soon to be set before you, your success shall be her salvation or your failure her demise. Her fate is in the hands of you both. Her cunning and knowledge combined with your muscle and physical talent should prove to serve as a nearly perfect pairing for your tests."

Nabiki had planted her forehead on the floor just as the coruscations from the envelope started. She stayed in that humbled position. Zeus looked down on her and smiled.

"Take heart, Tendou Nabiki. Your cunning is far better than that of Odysseus. Your anger is as justified as that of Clytemnestra - may her soul rest in peace. You can give my son Apollo a run for his money when it comes to intellect. Your fate is in the safest hands I could ever hope to find. It is in _your_ hands, Tendou Nabiki. Take heart and hold yourself innocent that you may prove your worth."

This last statement was followed by the flash of more bright blue coruscations and that was followed by the sound of distant thunder. Ranma sat up, and looked around. He was surrounded by astonished members of his closest friends and his father. Akane was especially surprised. Nabiki remained prostrate, crying her eyes out.

"See? I toldja!" Ranma said as he looked Akane in the eye. "She really has been accused of hubris and sacrilege. Got anything you want to say now?"

"I'm sorry, Ranma," Akane said, "but you must admit that she made you a very sincere offer."

"Yes, she did," Ranma said, "but I thought of you and turned her down."

"This is not going to be like that time she took you as her fiancé, is it?" Akane asked.

"That's up to you, Akane," Ranma said. "All I can tell ya is that I am honor bound to marry you or one of your sisters."

"So, you don't really have any feelings for me," Akane said as she began to cry. "It's only about your family honor, isn't it?"

"What honor, Akane?" Ranma asked. He pointed at the now slumbering Genma, he and Soun had passed out right after Zeus appeared, and said, "How is there any honor to be had from a man who steals for a living and abandons his wife for ten years? You call that, honorable? What about _your_ dad, Akane? You and Nabiki were complainin' to him about what he ain't done for Kasumi right before I walked in here. Dontcha think that he comes up short in the honor department?"

Akane's face looked angry and she opened her mouth, but nothing came out of it.

"Oh, yes - I know - you just hate it whenever I'm right. You love playing the jealous girlfriend as well, I think. It seems to turn you on. What is it with you? Do you get off on the erotic pictures that flash through that ready-to-go-off brain of yours or what?"

Ranma had just said more to Akane than he had during any one conversation they had. Of course, she loved to beat on him and he hated letting her do it because he disliked pain, but he never failed to incite anger in Akane when they talked to each other, no matter how hard he tried to avoid it.

"Other girls rubbin' themselves on me probably makes you imagine things that you always feel guilty over, right? I mean, it must be like peaking over shoulder of one a them guys who reads x-rated manga on the train, right?"

"Oh, you son-of-a-bitch!" Akane shouted in a hurt and angry voice.

"Yeah, well, Mom ain't no prize either, is she?" Ranma said. "She still carries that sword around just in case I fail to be 'manly." How wouldju like it if your dad did that to you? Only, fer you, I figger it'd hafta be not 'womanly enough,' wouldn't it? I mean, you _do_ act like a tomboy almost _all_ the time."

Akane lunged at Ranma, but her punch failed to land. He ducked and dodged her assaults.

"Oh, come on, Akane! Surely ya know by now that when I'm pickin' on ya its for a reason!" Ranma said. He sounded amused and concerned at one and the same time.

"Well, here's picking on you, Ranma!" Akane shouted as she seized a flower vase and threw its contents at the aqua-transexual Saotome. The cold water invoked his curse, of course. He shook his now red head and gave his fiancée a knowing grin. "See? Gotcher blood up, didn't I?"

"You! You! You!" Akane shouted as she pressed her clinched fists on her hips.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. You're overwhelmed with your passion for me," Onna-Ranma said in a taunting voice. "Ya know why I like ya, Akane? 'Cause I figger you can do me more good as a woman than Kuno could ever do me as a man."

Akane's face turned a fiery red when she heard this. "You bastard!" She shouted.

"Nyah, nyah!" Onna-Ranma said. "Sticks and stones!"

Akane charged forward and seized Onna-Ranma about his waist. She threw him over her shoulder as though were merely a rug to be beaten and charged up the stairs.

"Hey!" Onna-Ranma shouted. "Where er you takin' me, Akane?"

"Someplace private so that we can work out our differences and not be overheard!" Akane shouted.

"So, you're gonna carry all the way to Mars on yer shoulder?" Onna-Ranma asked. A door then slammed and nothing more could be heard from either of them.

* * *

"I trust that everyone here is happy to see me, right?" Athena asked.

Kasumi stared at her blonde hair and light blue-gray eyes, her bronze Grecian armor and smooth white cotton dress and nearly choked. Nabiki had planted her forehead on the tatami again, just as she had in the presence of Zeus.

Athena looked at Kasumi for a second and said, "Oh, my! You look as though you might have seen a demon, Tendou Kasumi-chan."

Kasumi's only response was to splutter incomprehensibly. Athena smiled and turned to Nabiki. "Must I remind you about how I feel about those who grovel before me, Tendou Nabiki?"

Nabiki sat up. "I'm sorry, but I just feel so inadequate. I mean, before yesterday, I did not believe in anything supernatural at all."

"Oh, really?" Athena said as she raised her left eyebrow. "You live with a person who has been cursed by a magical spring in China and you do not believe there is anything that is supernatural?"

"My reasoning suggests that the existence of a thing makes it perfectly natural," Nabiki said in a cold voice. "Otherwise, it would not exist at all. There is but one way for anything to exist."

"What does it mean to exist, then, Tendou-san?" Athena asked.

This caught Nabiki flatfooted. _What does it mean to exist, I wonder,_ she thought. "Now that I think about it, I haven't the slightest clue, O Goddess of Wisdom."

Athena smiled. "Two things grant natural existence," Athena said with a smile. "It must exist independently from the imagination of a mind or minds, and it must have enough characteristics to manifest itself to the senses in some way."

"That would seem to cover a great deal of ground, Athena-sama," Kasumi said.

Athena turned and walked toward Kasumi. "So you do not agree?" Athena asked before she got within arm's reach of Kasumi.

"No, I do not, agree, Athena-sama," Kasumi said. "I have never laid eyes on or heard the voice of Kami-sama, yet I still believe in His existence."

"Ah, yes! Jehovah's insistence on his believers having faith in naught but Him," Athena said with a sneer on her face and in her voice. "What do you believe about the Devil? Does He exist?"

"His work is all around us. I see it on a daily basis," Kasumi said.

"Oh, the works of the Devil, right!" Athena was clearly amused by Kasumi's answer. "But what of the Devil? Have you ever seen the Devil himself or heard His voice? Do you have any idea where the English word 'devil' comes from?"

"Not personally, no," Kasumi answered truthfully.

"Good for you!" Athena exclaimed. "Had you heard Him you would be insane and beyond my reach. It is like this, Tendou-san, all of civilization, good and bad together, is the creation of man. We Kami have no use for such stuff. We are deathless - beyond the reach of death. Being immortal gives us no reason to bother with moral behavior, let alone to build civilizations. After all, of what use is architecture to a being who is immune to bad weather? We just get on with our immortality as best we can - usually fighting off boredom. We often fight amongst ourselves just so we can avoid being bored."

Kasumi was now so astounded that she found herself unable to say a single word.

"Only you mortals have uses for morality and civilization," Athena said. "Not even your beloved Jehovah has need of such stuff. He's just another immortal being like Me."

"But - but - but -the first commandment says..."

"Thou shalt not have any other Gods before Me," Athena said, quoting Exodus 20:1. That verse in _your_ Bible makes no proclamation about the existence of other Kami though, does it? Believers in the existence of YHWH are forbidden to worship other Gods. That is all that verse means."

"He - He - He can't be so jealous and petty!" Kasumi exclaimed.

"Lah!" Athena said with a smile. "He is quoted as saying as much elsewhere in that Bible of yours, Tendou-san, Athena made a motion and suddenly a Bible was in her hands. She read from it aloud saying, "Deuteronomy 6 verses 14 and 15, 'Thou shalt not go after other Gods, of the other Gods of other people which _are_ round about you; For the Lord thy God is a jealous God among you.' Jehovah is a very jealous and petty God and, for a God, he is very foolish in My estimation."

"What happened, then?" Nabiki asked. "Why did Christianity, Islam and Judaism become some of the most dominant religions?"

"Mostly because we older Gods were out politicked by Jehovah," Athena answered, and because My Shit-daddy..." Athena paused at the sound of distant thunder..."got bored with humanity there for a long time. Hephaestus and I stuck around, but the other Gods followed Him off to soak up praise and sacrifices from races elsewhen and elsewhere."

"I'm surprised that you and Hephaestus haven't become a number over the millennia," Nabiki said. "Brains and industry? You two fit like gloves."

"When I stop to think about it, so am I," Athena said with a sheepish grin. Such a face looked odd on a Goddess. "You have to remember though, that Hephaestus and I both have very intensive fields responsibility. He is almost always beating on something with one of His hammers, and I am almost always working out new ways to do something and struggling to inspire humans to think before they act."

"Encouraging people to think before they act has _got_ to be a seriously labor intensive chore," Nabiki said. "I see them do unthinking stuff all the time."

"Hah! You should have to deal with being me on a Monday morning," Athena said with a rueful grin.

"I can just imagine," Nabiki said in a sadly reverent tone as she stared at the two passed out men in their late forties. "I have been struggling with people suffering Monday morning hangovers for the last two or three years."

"As have I, Nabiki-chan," Kasumi said.

"And here I thought that I had put you into a fatal tailspin, Tendou-san," Athena said looking at Kasumi wither brilliant grey eyes.

"With all due respect, Athena-sama,no,” Kasumi said. “After I thought about it, I realized that nothing in contact with Earth can be completely pure or perfect,. The Holy Bible is rife with creatures that appear to be immortal, but have nothing truly sacred about them."

"Perfection is a false standard. It is one of Plato's better illusions," Athena said, “but, you mean like demons and angels, right?"

"Yes, but no Gods," Kasumi said. "Just about the only thing the Bible says about Gods is to not worship any Kami but the 'one true God.' It does say that Kami-sama is both jealous and possessive and that He does not want us worshiping other Deities such as yourself, Athena-sama."

"And you are very devout follower of Jehovah and His Son, Jesus, Tendou-san," Athena said. "That is why you have not been charged with hubris and sacrilege the way your sister Nabiki has."

"So, if Gods other than Kami-sama exist, how did Christianity and Islam become so dominant?" Kasumi asked. "The overwhelming majority of Japanese were either worshippers of Shinto or followers of Buddha prior to World War Two."

Athena smiled as she sat down at the table and shoved her beautiful legs beneath it. "This is warm and comforting. I can understand why you Japanese like a kotatsu so much. Nabiki? Why don't you take a shot at answering this question. You were atheistic once."

"It almost certainly had to do with power and politics," Nabiki said. "It is far easier for politicians to share power with a single Deity than it is for them to share power with a large pantheon."

"Pray, do expand on why, this is so," Athena said.

"Well," Nabiki said, "here in Japan we have multiple religions. Japan has several epithets and one of those epithets is 'The Land of the Gods.' Only the United States has more religious beliefs than Japan, but the Americans are not nearly so tolerant as we are. We have Shinto as our native religion. Shinto itself has a practically infinite number of immortal beings in its pantheon, which is key to our religious nature overall, but then we imported Daoism and Buddhism and following those, the Portuguese brought Christianity to our shores. We Japanese have so many Kami to worship that their number no longer matters really. None of them have total sway over anything in Japanese society as a whole, save that Christianity has been slowly increasing its influence over the last several decades of the twentieth century."

"Please excuse me, Nabiki-chan," Kasumi said, "but that made matters about as clear as mud."

"You have to take into account the effects of a moderately large pantheon has on society, Kasumi-chan," Nabiki said. "With a mere twelve Gods and a body of followers for each, you get chaos, confusion and general discord. Each God or Goddess has His or Her particular feast days and special holidays. If enough people in a nation worship roughly the same set of Gods, you get a situation where all the work and all the business is constantly being interrupted by a religious duty or celebration of one sort or another."

"And your point is?" Kasumi asked.

"The point is that it is easier to have everyone in a country worshiping the same Kami -- a _single_ God. The worship of just one Kami reduces the need for numerous and differing duties and ceremonies. Making laws under the alleged authority of a single God is much simpler than making laws with exceptions for conflicting beliefs among various followers. One Kami with a single theology makes for much simpler politics, which in turns makes it vastly easier to run a nation. We Japanese have many Kami, but only one set of religious practices along with a tolerance for the practices of other religions."

"That's so simplistic that it verges on mindlessness," Kasumi said.

"Occam's Razor, Big Sister," Nabiki said in answer.

"What Nabiki said is more or less the truth," Athena said. "It is far less complicated to rule over a people who celebrate a single religion than it is to rule over a people who worship a complicated pantheon such as ours. We Gods have far too many conflicts between us to ever support a peaceful population. Our very nature encourages strife and bloodshed."

Kasumi opened her mouth to speak, but Nabiki cut her off. "Careful, Kasumi-chan. You'll get shouted down by history and current events."

Kasumi put the back of her right hand to her forehead. She looked dizzy.

"The real solution," Athena said, "is to recognize that we Gods exist, but then for humans to hold their on against Us. Who are the Gods to bully humans, after all? Why are we privileged to support a lone psychopath against the well-educated and productive citizenry of an entire nation? If so, why? The mentally deranged are irrational by definition, and no one should follow the orders of an unstable sentient - not even a sentient who happens to be immortal. No one should be forced to act against his or her own judgement. Even if they are wrong, they should not be forced. No one can rightly force the mind of anyone - not even us Gods."

This lengthy statement was greeted with a respectful silence - save for the snores of the somnolent Soun and Genma. Kasumi glanced over at the two middle-aged men and shook her head, as though she had just looked upon something particularly odious. Nabiki merely sneered at them. Athena gazed at them fondly, as though the two of them were her children.

"They have done their modest best by you ladies Tendou," Athena said. "Do not begrudge them their tiny vanities. Just know in your heart that theirs is merely a puny little dream to be outdone by the three of you and Ranma-sama."

Nabiki gave Athena a grin. "You sound as though you have fallen for Ranma, Athena. Shall we add your name to the list of his suitors?"

"Of course I have, you silly woman child," Athena said. "You have already been told as much. We Gods worship a man as brave as Saotome Ranma."

"Why?" Kasumi asked. "Why would beings so powerful and undying as you Kami be worshipful of a little boy?"

"Because he can die and we cannot, Tendou-san," Athena answered. "Courage for the immortal comes easily because we cannot die, but your Ranma must put his very life at risk every time he engages in a battle. You and your Ranma will eventually explore a part of reality that we Gods cannot and will never know, save for my Uncle Hades and his wife, Persephone. They rule over that particular portion of the Universe. It is walled off from the rest of us."

"And why can't you visit that part of the Universe?" Kasumi asked.

"Because you must be dead to get there, Tendou-san," Athena said. Her eyes were lit with amusement. "We Gods cannot die."

Kasumi seemed satisfied by this answer, but Nabiki's face was riddled with doubt. Athena turned to face her.

"Tread carefully, Tendou Nabiki," Athena said. "Your little sister is much like Ranma in that she is beloved of more than a few Kami. Hera for one, is very fond of her, as is that lover of unmodified nature, Artemis, along with her twin brother, Apollo. Enyo, Ares twin sister, is also fond of her. All of them are unforgiving and bloodthirsty. Treat your youngest sister with great respect. She will soon come into her own and she may or may not want to keep your beloved Ranma."

"So, there might well be a chance for me," Nabiki said.

"For you and Kasumi, Nabiki-chan," Athena said with a fond smile. "Even though your eldest sister is about to run off with My Cousin Hermes tomorrow."

"He's a Kami?" Kasumi shouted. "I'll never forgive him!"

"Tut, tut, Tendou-san," Athena said. "Your Bible says nothing about having a dalliance with a God, it just warns you not to worship any Kami but YHWH."

Kasumi and Nabiki alike sat there with their chins on the table until the manifestation of Athena suddenly vanished.

"Hermes?" Kasumi asked. "Hermes came here to deliver a messaged to you and Ranma? Really?"

"Well what did you expect, Kasumi-chan?" Nabiki asked in a dry voice. "He _is_ the Messenger of the Gods, after all. The Verdict of Heaven had to be delivered in some way."


	3. Changes

Akane and Nabiki insisted on taking Kasumi out to the local for a bath and from there they would take Kasumi shopping for clothes. After a few minutes of faux protest, Kasumi agreed to go. She wanted to make a clean breast of everything prior to running off with a Kami like Hermes. Nihonjin are at their most honest once they have their clothes off and are in a nice comfortable furo full of other people.

Nerima-cho had but one small bath house owing largely to the predations of Happosai. It was old and tiny, so the ladies Tendou decided that they could and would find better over in Ikebukuro. They boarded a bus to go to the Seibu line station in Nerima.

The look on Soun's face as the three girls left chattering and giggling as though they were exotic birds with new feathers was priceless.

 _My_ _eldest_ _is_ _about to date a Greek Kami?_ Soun's eyes suddenly burned with tears of -- well -- he did not know what it was that made him cry. _My saintly daughter is about to disappear with a Greek Kami with a less than stellar reputation, but_ _who am I, a man who's family name means “Heavenly Way, to defy a Kami, even if that Kami is part of the Greek pantheon. What can a mere mortal like me do? Would anyone have me dare to defy a God? It just isn't fair!_

Soun exploded in a paraoxism of agony. It was as though he had been shot. He wailed and writhed around on the floor crying out Kasumi's name repeatedly. It was much like a scene from a Shakespearean play.

Ranma knew exactly what to do. He called the Ucchan.

“Ucchan?” He said into the phone when she picked up and said, “Moshi-moshi!”

“Ran-chan?” Ukyou asked. “Is that you?”

“Yeah, it's me, Ucchan,” Ranma said.

“You haven't said a word to me since that silly wedding,” Ukyou said. “I gave up on you.”

“Yeah, I heard something 'bout that,” Ranma said. “That's why I think it's safe ta call ya.”

“Oh, really?” Ukyou said. “Safe for who, you?”

“Ya gotta help me, Ucchan,” Ranma said. “We _are_ still friends, aren't we?”

This was answered by a prolonged silence. “I don't know if Konatsu would approve, Ran-chan,” Ukyou said. “I mean, I really had my entire life tied to your selfish ass.”

“Yeah, well, its time ta let bygones be bygones,” Ranma said. “For the longest I didn't know what ta do. Things just sorta worked out on their own.”

Another prolonged silence ensued.

“What can I do for ya, Ran-chan,” Ukyou asked in clipped tones. “I gotta boomin' business to run here.”

“That's what I had in mind,” Ranma said. “Think ya could whip up a half dozen Hiroshima style okonomiyaki for me?”

“What's the matter, Ran-chan? Akane cook again?”

“Nah, she went with Nabiki and Kasumi to Ikebukuro. They're goin' shoppin'.”

“Oh, yeah!” Ukyou was enthused by the very mention of the place. “I hear that there's a new all girls sentou over there. I've been meaning to give it a try.”

“Yeah, modern times change,” Ranma said. He forced himself to grin so that Ukyou would hear it in his voice.

“Ever think about hiring on as a sansuke, there?” Ukyou asked. “I'm sure they'd hire a good lookin' guy like you for the ladies to ogle.”

“Oh, I thought about hirin' on as a yuna, but you know me and water,” Rama said, still grinning.

_Gee, I hope she's still buyin' my act. There's so much bad blood between us this might all be for naught. We both need ta make peace with the past._

Ukyou burst out laughing, much to Ranma's relief.

“Yeah, I can just imagine you and cold water or you and hot water meeting up at just the wrong time in a sentou. Ya know ya gotta pay me now, right?”

“I wouldn't dream of moochin' off ya the way Shit-daddy and I used ta do, Ukyou,” Ranma said with a shamed look on his face. He hoped that Ukyou could hear his shame, just as she heard a friendly grin in his voice earlier. How busy are ya tonight?”

“Like I said, business is booming,” Ukyou said. “I could use someone here to chop cabbage once in a while. We go through a couple of truck loads of it a day.”

“I can just imagine,” Ranma said. “I'll talk to Tendou-san about that.”

“What? You ain't gonna take it up with your old man?” Ukyou asked. “He's the one that really owes me, ya know.”

“Yeah, well, you'll never get so much as a day's worth of real work outta him, Ukyou,” Ranma said. The disgust in his voice was genuine. “'Sides, he and Mom aren't around here that much anymore.”

“Yeah, I heard that Kasumi finally put her foot down about them hangin' around in her house,” Ukyou said. “Where'd they go?”

“Shit-daddy finally got off his sorry ass and rebuilt that house that you, Kodachi and Shampoo tore to tatters. Where there's a sharp blade there's a _way_.”

“Yeah, well, he deserves that, doesn't he?” Ukyou said. “I'll write that off as the interest he owes me for Dad's old yatai. He _still_ owes me the principle.”

“Listen, have ya got the time to whip up a half dozen Hiroshima style okonomiyaki?”

“Hiroshima style?” Ukyou asked. “You know I'll hafta make a batter just for them, right?”

“I didn't realize that there was a style of okonomiyaki you couldn't make, Ucchan.”

Ukyou growled. “The things I do for you! There just ain't no justice! The Kami hate me!”

Ranma bit back his urge to caution Ukyou about talking about the Kami. “I'll pay full price and then some. Name your price.”

“No kidding, cash, right?” Ukyou asked. “I usually force bums like you to show me their money before I lift a finger for 'em.”

Ranma heaved a heavy sigh. “How much, Ukyou?”

“I'll tell ya what, Ran-chan, you order ten of 'em and pay me a thousand yen each for 'em and I'll make the batter,” Ukyou said in a voice that would have made the Antarctic look seem like a balmy resort. “Otherwise, go whistle for yer okonomiyaki.”

“Deal!” Ranma said. “It'll be worth it.”

“Plus, you gotta pay the delivery boy,” Ukyou said. “He doesn't work for free and I won't pay him to deliver squat to you or yours.”

“What will he charge me?” Ranma asked.

“He gets twenty-five percent of the order price,” Ukyou said. Her voice still held the chill of Antarctic snows.

Ranma checked his pants pocket. He had just been paid for recovering a car from a deadbeat. He was flush, but was not quite in the habit of actually having money in his pockets. _Let's see, I got 25,000 yen. That's plenty._

“Still a deal, Ukyou.”

“Cash?” Ukyou asked. “None of your worthless IOUs this time?”

“Cash,” Ranma said. “I got 25,000 yen on me.”

“They'll be there in an hour, Ranma-chan,” Ukyou said. Her voice was just a wee bit warmer; it felt as though it had come from Hokkaido this time rather than the South Pole.

“We'll be waitin' on him,” Ranma said.

“Yeah, well, you _deserve_ Akane, you know.”

 _Man! I thought I'd never hear her say that,_ Ranma thought. _She and Konatsu must be really gettin_ _' it on._ He was careful to make no sign of how pleased he was to creep into his voice.

He opened his mouth to speak, but heard something in the background say, “Wong!”

“Oh! 'Natsu-honey, wouldja put out the scraps for him, please?”

“Sure, Ukyou-sama.” Ranma could hear the male kunnoichi's reply in the background.

“Who's him?” Ranma asked. “That guy made chills run up my back.”

“It's not a person, silly,” Ukyou said. “It's Nerima's new boss alley cat. I call him Mougyuuneko. He kills all the rats and keeps all other doraneko away from this place -- as well as several of the nearby yatai.”

“Why do ya call it _that_?” Ranma all but shrieked.

“Well, that's just the impression he gave me when we met,” Ukyou said. “If you weren't so afraid of cats you'd probably like him.”

“Not a chance, Ucchan!”

“He even understands human speech, I think,” Ukyou said with genuine amusement in her voice. “Or at least he acts that way. I even thought about beating him with your picture before inviting you over a couple of times,” Ukyou said, “but I don't think he'd hang around if I did. He has very strong likes and dislikes. I have lost more than one customer because of him. Found out later that they were Yakuza.”

“See? I got good reason to fear those...those... things!”

“Oh, tell me about it!” Ukyou said. “Mougyuuneko is the reason the Amazons sold the Neko Hanten and went back to China.”

Ranma felt a powerful surge in his stomach followed by a tingling on his cheeks. _She's gone? He thought. The Old Ghoul and Shampoo are really gone? That's just way too good to be true!_

“Why do you think that this...this... _thing_ is responsible for them goin' outta business?”

“From what I heard, Mougyuuneko attacked everyone coming and going from the place,” Ukyou said. Ranma could hear the chortling joy in Ukyou's voice. “He became a one cat plague for the Amazons. Cologne just all of sudden put the place up for sale and sent Shampoo and Mousse back to the Bayankala range.”

Ranma said nothing. He could not think of a single word to say.

“Ran-chan? You still there?”

“Yeah, I'm here,” Ranma said. “I'm just speechless is all.”

“I can just imagine, Sugar,” Ukyou said. “Poor little Ran-chan. Can't stand money and he can't stand pussy. Ain't that a shame?”

“Aw, now you're just bein' mean ta me, Ukyou!”

“Damned right I am, Ranma!” Ukyou shouted. “Do you have any idea how many nights I cried myself to sleep over your worthless ass? Do you?”

“No, but it must've been a lot,” Ranma said in a faint voice.

“Damned right there were lots of 'em, you aho!” Ukyou shouted.

Ranma could hear tears welling up in his old friend's voice, but he hardened his heart against her.

 _I haven't trained this hard just become a cabbage chopper for an okonomiyaki cook,_ Ranma thought. _I_ _just_ _ain't gonna go there!_ _I'm a martial artist and iffen it don't involve fighting I ain't interested._

“I don't think that I have anything else to say to you right now. See ya, Ran-chan,” Ukyou said. “Have the cash ready. I'm gonna tell the delivery boy to bring these fancy okonomiyaki back if you don't have it.”

“Oh, I got it, Ucchan. I swear!”  
“Bye, Ran-chan!” Click.

Ranma set the handset back into its cradle with a quivering hand. He then realized that his shirt was completely soaked through with sweat.

 _Dammit! I sure hope she gets over this bullshit,_ Ranma thought. _I'd hate to lose my best friend just because Shit-daddy likes to cheat_ _cooks and restaurant owners_ _like the Kuonji. I wonder why he hates them so much? They feed him for nothing most of the time. For that matter, I wonder why Tendou-san even likes his big chunky ass. It's not as though they have all that much in common other than Happosai._

Ranma's brain raced to yet another unexpected insight. It was like discovery where a vital piece of a puzzle went.

 _Oh, right, Happosai!_ He thought. _They must have bonded because_ _he heaped all of his shit on 'em_ _. That doesn't mean that Pops would never cross Tendou-san --_ _t_ _hen again -- I wouldn't put it past Tendou to do something horrible to Shit-daddy either._ _They must've declared a truce a long time ago for some really good reason. Maybe it was because they made a sincere try at murdering Happosai. Who knows? What ever happened, its up ta me and Akane ta deal with it now._

He walked back into the chanoma and sat down. His father was trying to poke enough sake down Soun's throat to make him forget about what his darling Saint Kasumi had decided to do.

 _I don't really_ _blame Soun for being upset,_ Ranma thought _It upset_ _s me_ _as well, but then_ _I_ _never really and truly believed in anything like the Greek Pantheon._ _I_ _had been_ _pretty iffy about the Gods of_ _the Japanese_ _P_ _antheon_ _until I met up with the Phoenix People and Saffron. Even after I defeated Saffron I didn't get it through_ _my_ _head that the Gods were real_ _. Why would_ _I_ _have considered the Greek Pantheon to_ _anything_ _more than_ _a_ _myth?_ _I_ _was as shocked as Nabiki_ _was_ _when They turned out to be real._

 _I gotta find out if I can talk to this Kami-sama Kasumi holds so much regard for,_ Ranma thought. _He has got to be the trickiest of_ _all the Kami_ _. He figured out a way to make all the other immortals disappear._ _I think I could learn a thing or two from a God like Him. Now that I know that He's real, I'll make it one of my chores to meet 'im._

Soun stopped blubbering, so Genma touched the sake bottle to his lips. Soun took a long pull off the bottle then went back to crying. This went on for another hour, making it difficult for Ranma to actually think anything through. Then came a ring at the front gate. Ranma got to his feet.

“That'll be lunch at the gate,” Ranma said. “Try not to drink so much that you can't eat. I'll be right back.”

Genma put down the bottle of sake and wiped at his mouth with the sleeve of his gee. “Sure thing, boy. What did you order anyway?”

“Okonomiyaki,” Ranma said over his shoulder. “Hiroshima style.”

“And, I suppose, you are going to pay Ukyou for it?”

“Yes, I am, _Shit-daddy!_ ”  
“Careful how you talk ta me, boy!”

“Why should I?” Ranma asked. “I got no respect for you -- not after that shit you pulled in China this last time. And what you and Akane's dad here pulled on us was even worse.”

“Boy, you don't know who your messin' with! I could...”

“Could what, Pop?” Ranma asked as he turned to face his father; his eyes were hard and lit with dire threats. “You gonna kill me so that you can start over? Better'n you have already tried to kill me, but I'm still here. 'Sides, I'm your meal ticket, remember?”

Genma scowled at his son, but said nothing more. He did not like it when Ranma started playing trumps. Ranma had defeated him out of hand more than once in a straight up fight, and then had gone on to prove that he could be even more of a sneak. There was but little love left between Ranma and his father, and for good reason. The only reason Genma was still alive was because Ranma realized that Genma was his true mentor.

Genma had hammered on Ranma since his early childhood to fashion him into the martial artist he is now. Ranma shuddered to think how the battles in China might have turned out had Genma done one thing less to toughen him up. The only thing that Genma had done wrong was to make a play for the non-existent Tendou fortune. Genma had used Ranma one time too many for financial gain.

“Tell me the truth, boy,” Genma said. “You were behind Kasumi putting her foot down, right?”

“Nah, she did that on her own,” Ranma said. “I just let her do it is all. You owed Mom a house after all the stunts you pulled. I had those fiancées because of you, you evil old fart.”

“Oh, come on, boy!” Genma shouted. “That shoulda made ya happy! Havin' beautiful girls chasin' ya around? You are either an okama or an ingrate. I'm not sure which is worse.”

“Genma!” Soun shouted. “Go easy, man. He's your son, for crying out loud.” Then Soun lapsed back into his crying jag, leaving both Genma and Ranma staring at him with embarrassed looks on their faces.

“I'm going to remember that okama crack, you old bastard!” Ranma said to Genma in a fierce whisper. This actually frightened the redoubtable elder Saotome and Ranma took due notice. Then came another ring at the front gate.

“I gotta go get the okonomiyaki before it gets cold,” Ranma said. “Don't give Tendou-san any more to drink until I get back with it. He needs food more than he needs alcohol.”

“Yes, master Ranma-sama.” Genma mockingly bowed entirely too low. “Whatever your command, Ranma-sama.”

“Oh, stick a sock in it, Pop!”

* * *

Konatsu patiently waited for Ranma to open the gate. After he thought he had given Ranma more than enough time to show up, he rang the bell again. Konatsu had elected to deliver the okonomiyaki and leave the delivery boy at the Ucchan to help Ukyou with the crowd so that he could talk to this rather dangerous martial artist.

 _I'm not afraid of Ranma,_ Konatsu thought. _He's only dangerous when he is provoked and it takes a lot to anger him. Besides, I've stalked him and could have killed him many times by now. I just want to prevent any trouble between Ukyou and Akane. I haven't met with him or Akane since Ukyou helped Shampoo trash Akane's wedding. We owe them a sincere apology, but Ukyou insists on_ _playing_ _the_ _bitch._

The door in the gate opened with a loud creak revealing a preoccupied Ranma.

“Oh! She sent you instead of your delivery guy. How's it been, Kenzan-kun?”

“It has been heavenly, Saotome-sama,” Konatsu answered. “Thank you for asking.”

“I -- uh -- No problem, Kenzan-kun,” Ranma said, clearly embarrassed.

“I thought that business had gotten so good that you guys were hiring part timers to deliver.”

“We have, but I wanted to speak with you personally, Saotome-sama,” Konatsu said. “Can we talk?”

“Sure, but the okonomiyaki is getting' cold,” Ranma said. “Why don't we take it inside and talk?”

“Can we speak alone if I go with you?”

“Sure! Akane and her sisters have gone out to spend the evening in Ikebukuro. Nabiki told me that they were going to splurge on all kinds of stuff.”

“Is your mother here?” Konatsu asked. _It simply will not do to have Nodoka hovering about with that katana of hers. I could not be frank with Ranma with her around and armed._

“Nah, its just me and the two old farts and they're gettin' drunk.”

Konatsu felt his face break out into a sunny smile. “Here take these five, Ranma. I'll bring the other half.”

They left the delivery scooter out on the curb and went inside Tendo-ke. After they had given half the okonomiyaki to the two middle aged men, neither of whom were happy to see Konatsu let alone the okonomiyaki. They were busy trying to get drunk and did not really want to eat, but now that it was in front of them, they had no other choice. They had to drink their sake and eat at the same time.

Konatsu put on his prettiest and most subservient smile and bowed very low to them as they tore open the boxes and started eating.

Ranma motioned for Konatsu to follow and he fell in behind Ranma. They sat down in the dojo and Ranma tore into one of the okonomiyaki. He had offered Konatsu one, but Konatsu refused it.

“I think that Ukyou and I owe you and Akane an apology...”

“For what?” Ranma asked. “You don't owe us any such thing. Shit-daddy did Ucchan's family wrong, and you never did anything other than stay out the way at that botched wedding of ours.”

“So, you're not angry with us?”

“No!” Ranma said. “I mean, my shitty old man scammed her old man back when we were kids. We ain't ever tried to pay her back for that yatai or nothin' so, yeah, she had reason to be angry with us. Shampoo, though is whole nother thing. I dread the day I see her again. I might do something that I would regret.”

“I think that you have been freed from her claim on you, Ranma,” Konatsu said.

“Yeah, Ukyou told me on the phone that some doraneko had driven off so many of their customers that Cologne threw in the towel.”

“It did not happen like that. Ukyou repeated my lie to her. That's all she knows.”

Ranma gave Konatsu a long puzzled stare.

“What really happened is that our new doraneko, Ukyou-sama calls him Mougyuuneko, mated with Shampoo's cursed form,” Konatsu said.

Ranma dropped his okonomiyaki. “She what?”

“They rubbed noses and then she -- ah -- How can I put this? Shampoo invited him to hump her. You know how cats do that. She seemed to have enjoyed it.”

Ranma's jaw sagged until his chin touched his lap, then he recovered.

“You saw it happen?”

“Yes,” Konatsu said. “Mougyuuneko is very fierce and extremely intelligent. When Shampoo and Cologne left for China, she took a basket of purple and pink striped kittens with her.”

Ranma dropped his okonomiyaki and slapped both sides of his head so hard that it made Konatsu wince. _That had to have really hurt,_ Konatsu thought. _He'll know how hard he just hit himself soon._

But at that moment, Ranma took no notice of his pain. He was staring in open mouthed horror at something in the distance.

“Ranma? Are you still there?”

“Yeah, I'm -- here -- it's just that -- I dunno -- I got the same sorta curse and she -- in her cursed form -- got pregnant?”

“It would seem so,” Konatsu said in the most reassuring voice he could muster. “She left with a basket of kittens that looked very much as though they were a cross between her cursed form and that of Mougyuuneko.”

Ranma shuddered as though he were in acute pain.

 _Ranma's clearly in agony over this,_ Konatsu thought. _He looks as though someone doused him unexpectedly with a bucket of ice water. Surely he doesn't have any feelings for that witch from China! She's beautiful all right, but she's_ _as_ _selfish and_ _dangerous_ _as anyone can get._

“I'm sorry if you had feelings for Shampoo, but...”

“The only feelings I ever had for Shampoo and her Shit-granny was fear and loathing!” Ranma exclaimed, “And that only became worse after what Shampoo did in China this last time.”

“Why? She's a lovely girl and her great grandmother taught you some rather invaluable skills...”

“You don't get it, man!” Ranma shouted. “They want me to be some kind of enslaved gladiator or sumthin' -- a stud, maybe. Shampoo never had any real feelin's for me. What wasn't for show was just simple lust. She wanted me to be one of her prizes, that's all.”

“What did Cologne want?”

“She wanted the best for Shampoo!” Ranma shouted.

“So, I don't understand why your upset about Shampoo yielding to Mougyuuneko.”

“'Cause I got the same kinda curse and she got pregnant in her cursed form, that's why.”

“Wait, you've been having sex with someone in your cursed form?”

“Yeah,” Ranma said, looking sheepish and embarrassed. “Just don't tell anybody, okay?”

“With whom, if you don't mind my asking.”

“With who d'ya think? Akane!”

“Akane can't turn into a guy, can she? Did she fall into the spring of drowned man while you guys were in China?”

“Na, we've been having sex while we're both girls,” Ranma said looking worried sick. “I don't know what I'll do now.”

Konatsu could just barely hold back his laughter. “So you're worried that one or both of you are now pregnant, am I right?”

Ranma nodded his head.

Konatsu burst out into raucous laughter. Ranma looked embarrassed and angry.

“You don't really know anything about sex, do you?”

“Ah, no only what I've learned by peeking over the shoulders of those guys that read dirty manga on the trains. Sometimes they look at me when I'm a girl the same way they stare at those damned books. Sometimes they do more than that and I always hurt 'em. I don't know how many goddammed fingers I've broken riding trains in my cursed form.”

Konatsu was unable to contain his laughter again. “That is not the way to learn about having sex and making babies, Ranma-sama.”

“Oh, yeah?” Ranma was truly puzzled. “Howd'ya mean?”

“I mean that the focus of pornography is not exactly on family planning,” Konatsu said. “It's intended to arouse a person so that they will want to have sex. Having babies is the last thing a consumer of pornography wants -- at least usually.”

“But me and Akane -- we -- oh, that felt so good!”

“It was completely harmless, Ranma.”

“Huh? Whaddaya mean harmless? Anything that felt that good hasta have a price, right?”

Konatsu giggled at Ranma then burst out laughing again.

“Do you know what sperm is?”

“Ain't it that sickish white shit ya squirt when ya...”

“That's semen, Saotome-sama. It has your sperm in it,” Konatsu said, cutting Ranma off before he could embarrass them both.

“What about it?”

“You have to squirt that inside of a girl before she can get pregnant. The same's true for all mammals, not just humans,” Konatsu said. He stared at Ranma for a moment with a puzzled frown on his face. ”Say, neither your father nor your mother ever discussed this with you, did they?”

Ranma silently shook his head and Konatsu joined him for a couple of shakes.

“You just need to know that two girls making each other have an orgasm will not make either of them pregnant. Only by having an orgasm while you are inside her as a guy will do that. No sperm, no babies.”

Ranma stared off into space for a moment. “No wonder Akane insisted on...”

“Yeah, well, she likely learned about sex and having babies from a book she got from Tofu or the school or something,” Konatsu said, “Or Kasumi had _the_ talk with her. Either way, she knows more about it than you do.”

“I'm just hoping' that the usual rules apply to Jusenkyou victims like me -- and -- and...”

“I'm fairly certain that they do, Ranma-sama,” Konatsu said. “You don't mind if I call you that, do you?”

“You can fergit about the polite talk whenever ya speak to me, Kenzan-kun. We've been buddies for more than a year now.”

“Thank you, Ranma-kun,” Konatsu said. “It's good to know that I have another close friend.”

“No problem, Kenzan-kun,” Ranma said. “D'ya mind if I ask you a personal question?”

“Ask anything you want, Ranma-kun,” Konatsu said. “You just told me me some things I'm sure you don't want getting around.”

“Yeah, I have, haven't I? Have you and Ucchan -- have you -- ah...”

“Have we been having sex?” Konatsu asked.

“Yeah.”

“She got drunk the night of your destroyed wedding,” Konatsu said. “She was staggering around the restaurant making a spectacle of herself. Matters got so bad that all the customers left from embarrassment.”

Konatsu paused to heave a sigh.

“She finally got so drunk that she couldn't stand up without hanging on to something, so I grabbed her and carried her up to the living quarters on the second floor...”

“So, you took...”

“No, not really,” Konatsu said. “She kept getting drunk every night and I kept carrying her up to her bed. One night several weeks later she pulled me into her bed. She was just using me as a comforter, I know, but that has slowly changed just during these last few weeks. She is falling in love with me a little more each day, now.”

“That's pretty much how things got started between me and Akane,” Ranma said. “Lucky for us, I was a girl at the time.”

Konatsu laughed out loud one more time and clapped Ranma on the shoulder. “I am very happy for you both, but it's time I got back to the Ucchan. Ukyou-sama was trying to survive the evening rush when I left that kid there to help her keep up.”

Ranma responded by clapping a hand on Konatsu's shoulder. “Good luck, man. I really and truly wish the two of you well.”

“Thanks, Saotome-kun.”

“You're welcome, Konatsu-kun.”

* * *

Akane, Nabiki and Kasumi caught the bus near Tendou-ke and road it to the Shakujikouen Rail station where they caught the Seibu train, one of the newer 4000 series, to Ikebukuro. The train was only about a year old and it still smelled new. They selected a four seat section with two seats facing each other. Akane and Kasumi sat on one side with Nabiki sitting alone on one of the opposite seats facing them. Nabiki had sat down with her back to the direction of travel which, Akane thought, was likely the safest way to travel on any vehicle. Talking on buses and trains in Japan is frowned upon and the Tendou ladies scrupulously observed Japanese etiquette. This gave Akane entirely too much time to think.

Observed from the train, Japanese railways look as though they were tunneled through a forest of buildings and structural steel used to support the electrical lines slung over the tracks. Akane stared out the window at the passing tangle of structural steel and buildings with deep resentment in her heart.

 _I_ _hate the mundane things in the world,_ she thought, _n_ _ot because_ _I_ _find_ _them boring, but because they_ _are_ _so intolerably deceptive._ _What I can see is not reality. What I see as solid is just delusion._

“What's the matter, Little Sister,” Nabiki asked, breaking into Akane's morose revelry. “You're staring out the window as though Shampoo is out there taunting you.”

Akane gritted her teeth. She did that a lot. It just came to her naturally as though she were meant to do it. It was what would be called a reflex, but now Akane knew that there was good reason for it.

“I just wish that was so, Nabiki!” Akane said in a barking voice. “I'd love it if matters were that simple.“

Akane suddenly found both of her elder sisters staring at her as though they were worried about her sanity. She did not blame them. She was worried about that herself.

“Things have been wrong ever since we got back from China,” Akane said.

“What do you mean, Akane?” Nabiki asked in a soft careful voice.

“I keep seeing things,” Akane said in an irritated voice. “Nothing ever looks quite right and when it does, I know that it is somehow wrong.”

The sounds of the rolling train prevented the formation of an oppressive silence: the clack of its wheels on the track, the squeal of them when the train negotiated a curve, the delicate tinkle of its alarm sounds, Akane could feel it as much as she could hear it. It was as sticky and as strange as all the other sensations she had been experiencing since her return home from China.

“What have you been seeing, Akane?” Kasumi asked.

“The real you, for starters, Kasumi,” Akane said and she meant it. “Not the ever so solicitous motherly you, but the real impish you that takes such hearty relish in being alive. I think that must have been the way you behaved before Mother died.”

This took Kasumi aback and she fell back into silence. Akane turned her head so that she could see Nabiki and said, “And you all but disappear at times. Sometimes you are nearly transparent, as though you were a ghost. Kasumi doesn't see you at all when you're that way.”

Nabiki looked shocked at first, but then she looked as though she had just had a revelation, telling Akane that her observations were accurate.

“Whenever I look at Ranma in his natural form, I can see his girl half hanging around him,” Akane said. “Most of the time she's transparent, but sometimes she's nearly solid. She stands around like girl. She walks like a girl. You would never think that she is connected to Ranma in anyway, but she has him as her origin. She loves to flirt with people.”

“What about when he's in his cursed form?” Nabiki asked.

“When he's a she, I can see him the same way, only he's never quite transparent enough to see all the way through. He's even more manly as a youkai.”

“What happened to you while you were over there, Akane?” Kasumi asked.

Akane drew in a deep breath and exhaled before she answered. “The Phoenix People dug a new pool at Jusenkyou. They threw me into it right after it filled with water. I drowned there.”

Nabiki leaned forward and placed her right hand on Akane's knee.

“You did not drown, Akane,” Nabiki said. “Feel my hand? You're right here in front of me. You are not a ghost!”

“You know what a hammer I am, Nabiki!” Akane said in a voice that reflected her horror. “I went straight to the bottom of that pool and thrashed about until I drowned. I remember it as though it happened five minutes ago. That was the very worst experience of my entire life.”

Now, Kasumi and Nabiki both stared at her horror struck.

“I woke up later in a jail cell inside Mount Phoenix,” Akane said in distant voice. “They must have carried my body away after I drowned. I was cold, but dry and they had locked the door. I had to stay there for days until I got mad enough to pull on the door so hard that its lock broke. I wish you could have seen the faces on those guards when that door slid open. It was almost funny. I would have laughed if I hadn't been so desperate to escape.”

As the train rumbled and clacked on, Akane noticed a youkai rubbing her ankles. It had once been a piggy bank. I reminded her of P-Chan so much that she giggled at it. She opened her purse and took out a one yen coin, one yen coins were still made of aluminum in those days, and dropped it into the slot on the little youkai's back. It squealed and danced away down the aisle.

Kasumi and Nabiki both stared in a mix of amazement and horror.

“What did you just do, Akane?” Kasumi asked.

“Yeah, where'd that coin go?” Nabiki asked.

“Oh, I dropped it into a youkai piggy bank,” Akane answered. “It was so thrilled that it ran off. It'll be back here in a minute with many others.”

“Old piggy banks?” Nabiki asked in a dry voice that screamed her doubts at Akane.

“No, silly!” Akane answered. “It will be a variety of them. I'll probably have to give in and go with them. They always drag me off somewhere strange when I give in and take notice of one of them.”

“Where will they drag you off to, Akane?” Kasumi now looked frightened.

“I don't know, Kasumi,” Akane said. “It's always different. Sometimes it's an old timey village as though the youkai took me back in time; other times the place looks contemporary, just like everything does now. Sometimes the place is so weird that I can't even begin to describe it. I never know what it'll be until I get there with them.”

Both Kasumi and Nabiki stared at Akane as though she had suddenly sprouted a spare head from an extra neck. Akane felt her lips twitch as she stifled verbal response that would have offended them. _My misery isn't their fault,_ Akane reminded herself, and it's hard for even me to understand. I shouldn't punish my sisters for it.

Then suddenly she heard the sharp plaintive notes of a ryuuteki, a dragon type flute, that was almost immediately followed by the even more plaintive and haunting chords of the shou. The music playing was the gagaku music that was always played as the bride entered her wedding ceremony at a Shinto shrine. The space around the three girls was now crowded with youkai, most of them were based on various kinds of bamboo lanterns, but there were many based on traditional musical instruments as well. Akane got to her feet, swaying slightly as the train rounded another curve.

“I know you cannot hear the music,” Akane said to her now befuddled sisters, “but the youkai want me to attend a wedding between foxes. I'm sure that there will be both rain and sunshine at the same time where we are about to go. You two go have a good time. I'll meet you back at the house.”

Before either of them could raise a protest, Akane turned and walked down the length of the car surrounded by the collection of youkai. After the fourth or fifth step they were in the wedding procession and the train was no longer there for her.

Kasumi and Nabiki stared at the departing back of their little sister and gasped as she got smaller and smaller with each step until she simply disappeared. The other passengers were staring in horror as well. Nearly all of them gave Kasumi and Nabiki hard stares before withdrawing into themselves. Nabiki heard one of them mutter, “Serves them right for talking on the train.” She and Kasumi burst out laughing and crying at one and the same time.

“Do you think that she will really meet us at home?” Kasumi asked.

“Kasumi, a cat could play the fiddle and a cow could jump over the moon right now and it would not surprise me one bit,” Nabiki said. Then she had another thought. Some details that had been nagging at her for years suddenly clicked into place in her head.

“Do me a favor, Big Sister,” Nabiki said in a dire voice. “The next time you see P-Chan, try to pour hot water on him before Akane sees him.”

“P-Chan?” Kasumi asked. “Why?”

“He's a random return piglet,” Nabiki said. “Just as Ryoga is a random return little boy. P-Chan wears a yellow and black tiger stripe collar while Ryoga wears a yellow and black tiger stripe bandanna.”

Kasumi gasped and clapped a hand to her mouth. “Kuso uso!”

“Yeah, shitty lie indeed,” Nabiki said. “It is beyond me why I didn't realize that Ryoga had a Jusenkyou curse two days after he showed up.”

“Do you have any idea what Akane will do to Ranma when finds out about Ryoga?” Kasumi asked.

“Serve him roast pork with garlic and jalapeños?” Nabiki asked with a nasty grin. Kasumi looked nauseated so Nabiki tried another pepper on her. “Roasted piglet with garlic and habañeros, maybe?”

“Gack!” Kasumi choked out. “You say the awfullest things, Nabiki!”

“Well, it is a rather awful situation, isn't it?”

Kasumi rubbed her forehead as she teared up. “Something truly terrible happened to Akane and Ranma in China, Nabiki. They won't talk about it in any detail and neither of them has been the same since they got back.”

“They got much worse after that disastrous wedding that Dad and Unka Saotome insisted on,” Nabiki said with a derisive snort. “Two grown men who think that they have to knock out their meal ticket before he'll marry the woman he's in love with? Talk about silly old farts!”

“And Auntie Nodoka going right along with them brandishing that awful katana she carries all the time,” Kasumi said. “I can't believe that she is willing to kill her only son. The woman's a complete lunatic.”

“Well, look at it this way, Sis, you're about to free of us all,” Nabiki said. “There's no telling when Hermes will bring you back. Akane's right about you, you know. This is the kind of decision you would have made before Mom died.”

“Maybe, I -- I -- I don't know,” Kasumi said. “I think I just suddenly realized that it was time for me to move on out of here, you know? I mean you and Akane are nearly out of school now, and -- and--”

“And Daddy has never done a thing about finding you a husband,” Nabiki said. “He's such a traditionalist that he should have done something about you long before now.”

“Oh, please don't speak of Father, Little Sister,” Kasumi said. “It upsets me.”

The brakes squealed and the train made the usual bumping noises and the alarm sounds went off as the train pulled into Ikebukuro station. The station at that time was but a covered platform and they found themselves blinking in the bright sunlight as they exited the car.

“Let's go to the Dandelion and get a bowl of ramen,” Nabiki said. “Then we'll go to a fine store and get you some new clothing, Kasumi.”

“I don't really need any...”

“Oh, bother!” Nabiki shouted cutting Kasumi's protests off. “You've been wearing Mother's old dresses for years now. It's way past time for you to have some finery of your own.”

“What sort of place is this Raman shop?” Kasumi asked in her gentle voice. “Is it any good?”

“It is owned and operated by a woman,” Nabiki said with a gleam in her eye. “For women. You'll love it. It's just across the street from this platform.”

“I hope Akane will be all right,” Kasumi said. Her voice sounded plaintive.

“She'll be fine,” Nabiki said. “Let's just go eat now, okay?”

“I hope you're right, Nabiki.”

“I am. I'm certain of it. Akane has been fighting her way through all kinds of things for years now. I'm pretty sure she can hold her own with even Ranma, to tell you the truth.”

“Ranma?” Kasumi asked in an alarmed voice. “Whatever would make you even think such a thing?”

“I just know, okay, Kasumi? I have been watching the two of them since that damned wedding and things have changed -- seriously. Akane has her own adventure to live through. Now its time for you and me to eat.”


	4. Akane's Unexpected Adventure

Akane sat down heavily on a hexagonal stump of basalt rock and surveyed her surroundings. The youkai had led her to a wedding of foxes just as she had expected, but once she arrived, every participant in the wedding kept waiving her away and pointing downhill to the thick stand of sugi she had just stumbled out of.

This place, an old growth forest, was in its early summer season. The trees were so tall and so big around that walking on the forest floor was much like stumbline about on the bottom of the sea. The dim green rays of light were punctuated with the flashes of innumerable fireflies.

Rather than the luminescent yellowish-green she was accustomed to, these fireflies also flashed pale reds, sharp blues and pure yellows as well as the bright yellowish-green of the fireflies she had grown up with in Nerima.

_The fireflies are distracting_ _me_ _from what I need to do,_ Akane thought. She shook her head in an effort to clear her thoughts. _Gotta focus. I'm sitting in this clearing where the soil is too thin to support the trees. There_ _is this long skinny field_ _of basalt_ _stumps_ _sticking up_ _across the slope_ _. Even so, the tall trees have this placed trapped in a deep shadow. There's slick moss growing on the basalt, so I need to find another rout. It's too risky to cross_ _this Devil's post pile_ _. I'm by myself and who knows who or what might find me if I slip and injure a leg or an arm. There are youkai_ _that_ _will readily eat an injured human. More than a few of them have threatened to eat my flesh and not kill me first._

Akane tried to suppress a shudder and failed. Not only was she frightened, but her tramp through the dripping giant cryptomeria forest had soaked her clothing to her skin.

She leaned over to her left so that she could scratch her right buttock.

“Gotta get a backpack to carry for these kinds of unexpected jaunts,” she muttered to herself as she leaned over to her right so that she could scratch her other cheek. “I'd give anything for a dry towel. Now I know how Ranma must've felt living on the road for ten years; no change of clothes; no hot meals unless you build a fire; constant cold or constant heat. There's just no way to travel this way and be comfortable.”

_And no way to preserve your clothing, either,_ Akane thought. _This_ _day_ _dress is in tatters. I'll never wear it again. I'll be lucky if I have anything at all on by the time I get_ _back_ _to Nerima._

This led her to ponder other possibilities, even as it reminded her of all the times that Ranma had been trapped in a battle while in his girl form. He often had to fight with too few or no clothes on, but he never let that distract him from the fight.

_I wonder what he would think if I stumbled through the gate as naked as he has several times? He'd probably laugh and then give me a pinch or a sly rub somewhere embarrassing. He loves staring at my naked body, even though that's not commonly known just yet._

Thinking about the nights that they had spent in her room as girls made her already stiff nipples crinkle a little tighter.

“Don't go there, Akane!” She said out loud. “They'll get chapped. It's bad enough to be wearing wet clothing in tatters, let alone having sore nips.”

She tried in vain to suppress another shudder and then found herself trying to keep her jaws from chattering.

“Body temperature's low,” Akane muttered. “There just isn't enough sun at the bottom of this deep old forest.”

_Why did I follow_ _those youkai on the train_ _?_ Akane asked herself. _The wedding the youkai led me to was_ _n't for me or any of my family. The_ _foxes_ _did not want me there_ _. Everyone simply ignored me. I was completely out of place there. Why did I come? It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now I can see that it wasn't. I am so-oo stupid sometimes. Now I am lost, wet and cold. I could die from exposure here and no one would ever find my body. Worse, I am completely on my own. There is no way that Ranma will ever be able to find me._

Hot tears welled up in her eyes and ran down her cheeks. Her nose stung and began to drip. She wiped at it and sniffled. She fought for self-control and finally gained a small measure of it. Enough to kill her sniffling anyway.

“Hello-oh!” Akane shouted. “Can anyone hear me?”

The echoes of her voice were short lived. Sugi forests are made up of mostly soft surfaces and do not reflect sound all that well, so she waited for a few seconds and hearing no reply, she tried again.

“Hello! Can anyone hear me? I'm lost, cold and wet! I need help!”

The echoes of her voice quickly died and no answer came. Akane shouted four or five more times and then decided that she may as well blunder on.

_Dying on your feet is far better than simply lying down and dying,_ _Akane,_ she thought. _At least if I'm moving I might find a trail or something._ _I don't even want to think about Dad or Ranma learning that I just sat down and died. I'd never hear the end of it once they finally meet up with me on the other side._

The going cross slope was difficult. This forest was choking on its own ruin. It was old and had not been through a cleansing fire for several decades. There were rotting limbs and stumps everywhere Akane looked. Vines pulled at her as she plowed through them, and under story plants with huge leaves lapped wetly at her face and body. Some of the vines had thorns that ripped both her clothing and her exposed skin. Even worse, she could feel the painful itching bites of leeches attaching themselves to her skin.

“Next time I'll know better than to set out on a trip with the youkai wearing a dress,” she muttered as she stopped to remove a leech high up on her inner thigh. “Should have known better than to follow a bunch of half-transparent and irresponsible creatures anyway. Why am I so stupid? I never do seem to think ahead.”

She slipped on the deep matting of fallen needles and other detritus several times during the next two hours. She skinned both knees, her right elbow and her chin. The skinned patch on her chin was especially annoying. There was just enough bleeding from it to ruin her dress.

Akane had built up enormous stamina while training with Ranma, but this forest was so rough that she was dog tired after a mere three hours of trekking. She was dying to sit down and have a rest by the time the field of basalt stumps tapered to a point and vanished, but sensing that flat ground was nearby, she pushed on. Just as she was about to give in to her fatigue, she stumbled out onto a wide, well-worn path. There were no needles on it, and the ground was packed so hard that the misty rain had not turned into soft mud.

“Hmph! Been lots of traffic on this trail,” Akane said. “Must be fairly well traveled, but which way do _I_ go?”

She looked to her left. The path wound around to-and-fro along the gully as it went down hill. To her right, it wound to-and-fro uphill. The wide path was very much like the train tracks in Tokyo. It looked as though it was in a tunnel, only this was a tunnel through trees rather than structural steel and buildings.

“Downhill is easier and more likely to lead to people, if there are any in this place,” Akane said. “I may as well go that way.”

She turned to her left and staggered down the hill on the wide winding path. It wandered alongside a stream or small river. The stream was large enough to make the difference between a creek and a river difficult for Akane to discern. She was so tired that she did not care anyway. All she could focus on was putting one foot in front of the other.

She began to reminisce about the pilgrimages Soun insisted on her and the rest of his family take part in. Soun had, for several years, gone to the place where Ieyasu Tokugawa had been buried twice a year, once in the fall and again the following spring. For several years Soun prided himself in taking part in the historical reenactment of the “procession of a thousand warriors.” Those processions had been Soun's main reason for spending so much money on his family's antique armor. Akane, smiled through her fatigue as she recalled how proud her father had been to take part in those quasi religious ceremonies. Soun looked so brave and fierce when he wore his armor. He was an entirely different man so long as it was on his body.

_I wonder if Dad's armor is magical, like that dougi was? It sure makes a different person out of him._

They stopped attending the reenactments once the stock market fell apart and the money ran short. The processions proved to be entirely too expensive for a man of Soun's means. He could no longer participate in them. Akane had been glad for the relief from the boring tedium until she realized how important those trips had been to her father. They had always been exhausting, both physically and financially, but Soun's personality became increasingly frail after his lack of finances forced him to stop taking part. He seemed to regard his inability to keep up with the other participants as a kind of personal failing.

The sound of running water coupled with the wet misty atmosphere had combined to throw her memory back into her childhood. She remembered the physical torment she had suffered during those pilgrimages. This was much the same. She was seeing her early childhood from a more mature perspective now.

She remembered that Nabiki had never complained about the physical hardships inherent in taking part in those silly pilgrimages, until their money ran short. Kasumi, of course, never so much as raised a single eyebrow. She had reacted as she believed their mother would have reacted -- with a stiff upper lip and stoic silence. Kasumi had simply prepared such food as they could afford and made certain that her younger sisters had the clothing they needed for those exhausting trips. Their last pilgrimage had taken place the year before the Saotome had arrived.

Akane remembered the places they shopped at while looking for the necessary clothing, and realized that they had all been places that specialized in trading second hand clothing.

“Hell, we still shop in some of those places,” she muttered under her breath. “Most of the best clothes I wear everyday came from those kind of shops.”

_Mastering the Martial Arts is not only physically demanding, it costs a great deal of money was well,_ Akane thought. _Now I can understand why Nabiki turned out the way she has. Dad led us down a path that leads only to financial ruin._ _Whatever on earth possessed him to do_ _such a thing_ _?_

Her nose suddenly twitched at the fragrant smell of chicken roasting over hardwood coals. Her stomach heaved as well, reminding her that she had not eaten since her early breakfast. The memory of her morning meal seemed very distant and very small as she stood in the winding path that had finally leveled out. She could see a small cluster of buildings straddling the path ahead.

_How long have I been on my feet today?_ Akane asked herself as she stopped to take stock of her situation. _It_ _took the better part of four hours_ _for me to reach the wedding_ _, and I have been stumbling around lost now for -- almost six_ _hours now_ _! Does it ever get dark here?” I've been here long enough that it should be well past sundown, but there's not even a hint_ _that_ _the_ _light_ _is_ _fading_ _._

Akane was now dreading what she might find up ahead, but forced herself to keep moving anyway. The smell of cooking food only became stronger as she walked. She was salivating by the time she reached the traditional looking structures clustered around the wide path. Most of this village appeared to be between the path and the little river, but a great deal of its better buildings were on the upward slope on her right.

She came to a stop and stood violently shivering in front one attractive building. It was attractive for two reasons: its front was covered with ornate carvings like one of the more famous sentou back home, and there was the mouth watering aroma of yakitori emanating from it. Akane stared at the building as her shivering became violent shuddering. The hunger pangs nearly doubled her over. There was another smell that made her think of something, but she could not quite dredge it up out of her tired little mind.

_This isn't a sentou, it's a ryokan,_ Akane thought. _A very old ryokan._

“Konnichi wa gozaimasu!” Called out a youkai that looked for all the world like a western dwarf or halfling, maybe. It bowed to Akane after it had descended the five steps that led into the ancient wooden building. “The master was expecting you long before now. You cut through the forest to take a shortcut I suppose, yes?”

“Uh -- ah -- er...”

“You're drenched and cold,” the dwarf said, before Akane could think of anything to say. “You must be starving. Follow me.”

Akane finally managed to speak between shivers. She discovered that it was necessary to clinch her teeth so that they would not chatter. “I was expected? Why?”

“Yes you were and it is for training,” the dwarf answered without looking back. “Where have you been?”

“I -- uh -- went to a wedding...uh...”

By the time she could half-answer the dwarf's question, they were in a dark little corner of an out building.

“Wait here,” the dwarf said, pointing at a bath stool. “I'll be right back.”

Bath stool or not, Akane was grateful to be able to sit down on something. She sat with her knees together and was just getting control of her shivering when the dwarf returned with another. The first dwarf was bearing a tray, the other was carrying towels and a yukata.

“Here, drink this first,” the familiar dwarf said. “Careful, it's hot.”

Akane took the proffered cup in both hands and sniffed it. It was sake. She had tried sake a few times before and had not liked it. In fact, after having tried it a fourth or fifth time, she vowed to never to put it in her mouth ever again, but she was cold this time, and the liquid in the cup was deliciously warm, so she drank it quickly and immediately regretted gulping it down. This sake was more like an ambrosia than it was a liquid made from rotting rice. It tasted nothing like the sake her father had given her.

“Oh, that was good!” Akane exclaimed as she put the tiny cup down on the tray. “May I have another, please?”

“Of course, you may,” the dwarf said as it set the tray down on another stool in front of Akane. “Right after you eat.”

The tray had a tiny bento packed with rice and skewer of roast chicken lying across it. There was a tall glass of water sitting beside the bento.

“Eat up; get a bath and get in a soak,” the dwarf said. “You have but an hour left to get all that out of the way.”

“Do you know who I am,” Akane asked as she picked up a pair of chopsticks.

“You are Tendou Akane of the Tendou School of Anything Goes Martial Arts,” the dwarf answered. “Master's battle dougi was very fond of you.”

Akane was too busy eating to snap the chopsticks, but did manage to glare at the dwarf in outrage.

“That perverted thing?”

“Well, its being perverted was not the master's fault,” the dwarf said,with a sheepish look on its face. “He was only a hundred years old then, and it was his very first try at making a magical practice dougi.”

Akane felt her jaw go slack which was inconvenient. She still wanted to eat.

“Only a hundre...”

“Yes, well, his kind lives much longer than yours,” the dwarf answered with another sheepish look. “That doesn't mean that he's a patient being. Eat up wont you? You need to bathe.”

It was Akane's turn to look sheepish.

_I suppose I stink to high heaven by now,_ she thought. Then she felt her brain click. _It's not a dwarf, but a weird, human looking frog -- and the other one is too! Shit!_ _W_ _hy didn't I notice the mottled green skin?_

“Go on, girl!” The dwarf croaked. “Eat your snack and get a bath. The master has been waiting for you for days now.”

Akane wanted to ask how long a day lasted in this place, but was too busy wolfing down her rice. She ate at about the same speed as Ranma could when Genma was picking at him at the table. The chicken she had consumed as quickly as Happosai would have done on one of his rampages.

“Take your clothes off, deary,” the other dwarf said as the first dwarf picked up the tray and left. “We are not shy around here so don't you be.”

Akane hesitated for a moment and shivered. The shiver completely evaporated her sense of propriety. She stripped off her ragged wet clothes and accepted the towels.

“Bathing room is that way,” the frog dwarf said as it handed Akane her fresh towels. “You'll find everything you need in there. The pools are outside through the rear door. Careful of the water in them. They are as hot as any you'll find in Tokyo.”

“Thank you very much -- er -- I'm sorry,” Akane said. “I did not catch your name.”

The squat youkai bowed as it said, “I am the fifth enslaved frog of nine, Akane-san. You may address me as you please.”

This took Akane aback a bit. She was not accustomed to dealing with enslaved creatures. She was not sure that she wanted to, either.

“In that case, I will call you Daigo-san,” Akane said. “Will that be fine?”

“Of course, Human-san,” the creature answered. “Whatever pleases you.”

“I really am uncomfortable having a slave around to deal with,” Akane said aloud without meaning to.

“Oh, don't worry,” the frog youkai said in a cheery voice. “My slavery is only temporary and, it _is_ justified. Master will give me my name back when my sentence is complete.”

Akane went from being slightly uncomfortable to being exceedingly uncomfortable. “What did you do to justify your slavery?”

The youkai looked offended did its best to look taller. “I do _not_ answer that question. It is enough that I am temporarily a slave.”

“I'm sorry,” Akane said as she bowed to the annoyed creature. “I meant no offense.”

“That is quite all right, Human-san.” Daigo-san answered. “You are not familiar with the customs here. Allowances are necessary because you cannot help being rude anymore than you can spare us your body odor. Please get a bath now if you would.”

Akane stifled an embarrassed giggle and bowed again before entering the bathing room.

It was small, but complete, and it had a door that led back outside to an isolated set of outdoor pools. She was quick to avail herself of the expensive shampoo and cream rinse she found on the shelf. There was also three different types of soap, each of which was intended for different areas of the body. She made use of all three of them and was shocked by how good it felt to be truly warm and clean.

She settled down in the shallowest part of the nearest pool. Daigo had been right about the temperature of the water. It was as hot as any bathhouse in Tokyo, but she was too tired to care. She fell asleep without meaning to. Another frog-type youkai woke her.

“Come, Akane-san,” it said in a much deeper voice than Daigo's. “Dinner is waiting on your table.”

“Thank you, Enslaved frog-san,” Akane said. “I'm sorry that I do not know your name.”

“That's quite all right,” the youkai said. “I very much prefer to remain anonymous. This way, please.”

Akane followed the frog-type youkai back into the bathing room and donned the yukata hanging there. There were a pair of fresh panties and a modern brassiere that fit her perfectly. She was deeply grateful for the modern underwear -- especially the bra. She hated wrapping her chest with strips of cotton cloth the way ladies did prior to the Meiji Restoration.

_I am proud of being a woman,_ Akane thought. _Why would any woman want to hide her sex? It never made any sense to dress the way women once did --_ _n_ _one whatsoever._

She stood in front of a mirror and brushed her hair out. It was gratifying to see what superior shampoo and cream rinse did to her hair. It was softer and silkier than it had ever been before. It made her feel like one of the latest pop stars.

She put down the brush and followed the anonymous youkai down a hallway and into a small room. It was a low table with a kotatsu. The table was laden with food and there was a cushion for her to sit on. The tatami looked fresh and new.

“You'll find a bed in the next room,” the anonymous youkai said, pointing at a shouji on one end of the room. “Master has decided that you are too tired to do any training without a few hours of rest. He is making preparations for your stay.”

“What preparations?” Akane asked as she sat down.

“He is delaying the passage of time, for you, of course,” Anonymous said. “You would not want to return to your home and find everyone dead from old age, now would you?”

“Not really, no,” Akane said. She had learned in China to expect to take part in nine or ten impossible things before breakfast. “I have a lover back at home. I'm certain that he would die of grief over me before he got old.”

“Yes, you are a very lucky young woman,” Anonymous said as he bowed and backed out of the open shouji. “If you need anything, just ring the bell there on the table. One of us will see to your needs.”

Akane wanted to dig into her meal, but she paused and took in a deep long breath through her nose. The room smelled clean and had a floral tint to its air.

_I can't imagine that I smell so bad to these guys,_ she thought. _They must have a terribly effective sense of smell -- or maybe I'm nose blind to my own od_ _o_ _r. I know that happens once in a while._

There was enough food on the table that it took her nearly a full hour to eat it all. Her eyes were heavy lidded and she found getting her and her full tummy up off the cushion to be a serious struggle. She was delighted when she stumbled into the next room only to find a futon equipped with modern pillows rather than the hard boxes Japanese people once rested their heads on. She knew right down to her bones that would never be able to sleep that way no matter how fatigued she might be. She laid down with a will and never thought to look outside to see if night had fallen.

Akane fell into a deep dreamless sleep. She was so rested after she woke, that she knew that she had to have slept for hours and hours. A brief nap would not have refreshed her as much as this sleep had. Her joy was spoiled by the necessity of using a night jar. The building did not have running water or plumbing for sewage. Whoever ran this place had been thoughtful enough to place a washbowl out for her use.

Having taken care of her morning business, she discovered that she was thirsty and rang the bell that was still sitting on the table in her assigned quarters.

Yet another frog-type youkai appeared bearing a tray laden with food and drinks.

“Your breakfast, Akane-san,” it said with a deep bow as it placed the tray on the table. “Please eat and drink as much as you please. Ring the bell again after your needs are met. Then one of us will take you to the master.”

Akane ate slowly and sipped at the orange juice greedily. She needed time to think.

_The light looks the same as it did before I went to sleep,_ she thought. _Either time does not pass here at all, or_ _this region is_ _some sort of bubble in the space-time continuum. Either way, whoever created it has the power of a Kami._ _But it cannot possibly be a Kami, can it? Whoever made this place also made that wretched battle dougi that nearly ruined my relationship with Ranma. He or she might well be omnipotent, but they clearly are not omniscient. I wonder what sort of creature this creator is? Whatever it is, I will have to be careful. It could easily destroy me and it would be well beyond anyone's power to avenge me. Although, I think that Ranma would die trying to find whoever it is._ _We did manage to kill Saffron after all. Together, Ranma and I can accomplish almost anything. Perhaps that is why I am here. Who knows?_

With her belly now full and her mind in the Zen state of mind of no mind, Akane picked up the bell. Its tinkle this time seemed much louder than the other times she used it.

_Just goes to show you how necessary measurements are,_ Akane thought. _Fear tends to magnify the little things and_ _that_ _make you even more fearful._

One of the curious looking youkai immediately appeared in front of her. This one appeared to be a kappa rather than frog.

“This way please, Tendo-san,” the semi-transparent creature said with one those deep bows that the enslaved around the region always used.

Akane shivered with disgust. _I simply hate having to deal with enslaved creatures. It's so unfair! She thought._ _And i_ _t likely_ _causes me_ _bad karma_ _to_ _boot_ _._

She followed the ghostly kappa, it was mostly transparent and floated rather than walking, out of the room and down the hall. They wound around in the exceedingly complicated architecture of the building until the youkai led her into a sort of large enclosed garden. There was no roof overhead, but the building surrounded it completely.

_Oh,_ Akane thought, _now I know what an atrium is like,_ _but I s_ _till haven't seen an impluvium, though._ _That must've been really somethig -- living in a house with an impluvium._

She was suddenly confronted by a being who had feathers like a woodpecker, dull green on its back with a red crest and a black and white speckled belly. It had an astonishingly long nose instead of a beak. It seemed supremely confident in itself and its skills, but she had managed to throw it on its ass anyway.

The creature laughed out loud. “I see my dougi was right about you, Tendou Akane. Let us try this!”

The creature whipped out a steel blade that Akane treated with as though it were an over-sized razor.

_There is no such thing as an unloaded gun and there for damned sure no such thing as a dull sword,_ Soun's voice said in her memories.

Akane and the creature circled around each other as far apart as the atrium would allow. Akane did her best to examine the sliding doors. They all appeared to be the same and she doubted that any of them would simply slide open at her lightest touch, which is what she needed to escape from this seemingly bloodthirsty creature.

“Why are you doing this to me?” Akane asked. “Why did you bring me here? Why did your messengers take me to that wedding first?”

The creature found Akane's questions amusing. It grated out a loud cackling laugh before answering them.

“What I am doing is training you,” it said between burbles. “That is why I sent for you. As for the wedding that was my mistake not yours or the youkai I sent to fetch you. They wanted to attend that wedding and I gave them permission to do so, provided they picked you up on their way.”

“You forgot to tell them to bring me here before they went to the wedding, am I right?”

The creature launched an attack that was very similar to the ones Kuno had overused, so Akane managed to fend it off quite handily.

“As a matter of fact, I did forget that, yes,” the creature said as it kept maneuvering around the atrium. “I see you know how to cope with edged weapons even when you do not have one for yourself.”

“You should have expected that, Master,” Akane said. “Your dougi chose me over Ranma, didn't it?”

The creature cackled with delight even as it launched another sincere assault on Akane. Had her skills been the least bit less than they were, the assault would have made a messy end of her.

“That was the first dougi I ever made and your receiving it had nothing to do with me,” the feathered creature said in a voice that put Akane in mind of a Mina bird. “Your fate collected it for you.”

The creature launched yet another ruthless attack on Akane, but she once again managed to evade it.

“What did my fate have to do with anything?” Akane asked, hoping that the question would distract the creature long enough for her to launch a creditable counter attack.

_Learning the art from this thing is going to make_ _training with_ _Uncle Genma look like a slow walk in a park,_ Akane thought.

“Oh, like as not it has everything to do with your family and your fiancée,” long-nosed creature said in a squawking voice. “Shall we try another weapon? The bo, perhaps? Or would you prefer the English quarterstaff?”

A thick pole, a little under two meters long, suddenly appeared in Akane's hands. She saw that her putative teacher had one as well. Akane grinned as she launched a very sincere attack on her feathered opponent, but he was crafty and she came out of the brief exchange with two very bruised fingers on her right hand.

“You'll learn not to tip off your opponent eventually,” the long nosed apparition said. “You would have died against someone bent on doing you real harm that time.”

Akane grimaced with pain and shame. She knew deep down that what this creature said was the absolute truth. She was not performing anywhere near her full potential.

_Ranma has Happosai, I have this -- this -- oh! He's Tengu!_ Akane thought as surprise shot through her body, forcing it to tingle from the top of her scalp to the soles of her feet. It was then that she noticed a curious interaction between her and her quarterstaff. She could feel her ki flowing into and she could feel the ki that the quarterstaff had absorbed from its previous users flow into her. It was a remarkable feeling. So remarkable that she became distracted and earned herself another sharp clout in the ribs from her new master.

Her newfound knowledge of her weapon allowed her to fend off most of the energy from the blow, so she merely grunted as though surprised, but not hurt. Nothing could have been further from the truth, though. The blow to her ribs smarted enough to affect her breathing. She and the Tengu danced about for a few more minutes before it called a halt.

“I see that you are tired, Tendou Akane-san,” the Tengu said. “Let us rest.”

“Hai, sensei,” Akane answered as her quarterstaff suddenly vanished.

Two field chairs materialized along with two of the servitor youkai with pitchers of cool water and towels. One was for the master, the other for his student. They set up folding tables, poured water in each of their glasses and then disappeared.

Akane picked her glass up and greedily drank from it. The water was as fresh and sweet as any she had ever tasted before. She picked up the pitcher and refilled her glass, then drank about half of it. She stared at the cup in silence, thinking about the water. It was as good as her new master.

“Thank you for saying so, Tendo-san,” the woodpecker like creature said. “It _is_ very good water.”

“Where does it come from?” Akane asked.

The tengu smiled. “From my private well. There are several wells around here, most of them are tainted with a touch of sulfur, as it is with most hot springs, but this water is rich in minerals without any sulfur in it.”

“So I noticed,” Akane said. “It is some of the best I have ever tasted.”

“Of course, if you want to be able to fend off insects with little to no effort, you would drink water from one of the other wells here.”

This surprised Akane and it must have shown in her face because the Tengu grinned at her. “You did not know that, did you?”

“No, I mean, yes, I had been told that, but I never believed it.”

“Tis true. Drinking water from a mildly sulfurous well prevents attacks by parasitic creatures, fleas, ticks and the like. Hardly anyone who lives here and drinks from the local wells suffers from them.”

Akane felt the sharp sting of a mosquito bite on her the upper half of her left arm and clapped a hand on the noxious creature.

“What about mosquitoes?” she asked.

“You have to soak up sulfur for a few months, to fend them off, but it will happen eventually -- assuming you stay here that long,” the Tengu said. He seemed to reflect on this for a moment. “You will likely need to return home before that happens. Arranging time for you mortals is very vexing.”

“Why am I here? Or dare I ask?” Akane said.

“You are here because I need to teach you,” The Tengu said. “You are so adept at using edged weapons that it is very impressive, even for one such as myself.”

This statement rushed to Akane's head, despite her heartfelt modesty. Her face suddenly felt hot.

_I wonder what Ranma would think of all this?_ Akane thought. _I_ _so-o_ _o_ _wish he were here._

“Oh, don't be bothered by your fiancée's absence, Little One,” the Tengu said with an offhand wave. “He is very good, even by my standards, but he is entirely too cocky. You will need to beat that out of him eventually.”

“You read minds?”

“Only when you are thinking very strongly,” the Tengu said. “It very often gives me a distinct advantage during a fight.”

Akane considered this for more than a few seconds.

_If he can sense what I am thinking, how do I ever hold my own against him?_ Akane thought. _There must be some sort of physiological response in us that he can read from._

“That's only part of the secret,” the Bird-man said. “You'll get it all in a few days.”

Akane took a very large drink from her glass. “You said that you arrange time, for mortals like me. What does that mean, exactly?”

“It means that I manipulate space-time while you are here, my dear Tendo-san,” the Tengu said, “You will remain ageless so long as you are on this estate, yet I keep you synchronized with the world you are from. You do realize that you have wondered off into an entirely different realm of existence, do you not?”

“Yes, I -- I -- knew that something was odd,” Akane said. “I've been interacting with all kinds of youkai since my last visit to China.”

“The youkai go everywhere,” the Tengu said with a rueful grin, “They even go where more powerful creatures cannot go. They will lead you to any place you need to go, once you learn how to communicate with them.”

“Most of them I have never heard speak,” Akane said. “Do all of them talk?”

“In their own way and in their own time, yes.”

“You do realize that you have me at a disadvantage, do you not?”

“Oh, dear me! I apologize. My name is Savinien de Cyrano de Bergerac,” the Tengu said. “I thought perhaps you would have recognized me. I recognized you easily enough.”

Akane was shaken to her very core by this pronouncement.

“I do recognize the name. You were a famous swordsman in Europe, weren't you?”

“Yes, in the early seventeenth century. I left France for Japan in late July of 1655.”

“You reportedly died from wounds you suffered in a botched assassination attempt.”

“Falsified, obviously, but the attempt on my life was most sincere. I simply took advantage of it so that I could go to my new home.”

“Your new home was Japan?”

“Yes, you see, we Tengu are made, not born or hatched. An opening became available and I accepted it. France was boring in those days. Too much fussing about over religious matters for my tastes.”

“Why was that dougi you made such a pervert? Are you a pervert?”

“Some people said that of me while I was in Paris, but I almost never lived up to their claims. I suppose I should be ashamed of that particular failing, but I'm not. Sex is bothersome and tedious for me. There are those who thrive on it, but I am not one of them.”

“You were an infamous brawler though, and a very notable swordsman.”

“I am still both of those things, my dear.”

“Why do you have to manipulate space-time in order to teach mortals?”

“Were I not to, there would be grave consequences for my mortal students,” Savinien said. “They would return home after their training was complete only to learn that everyone they had ever know died of old age while they were training. It is a very painful experience, you know. I missed ten years because of my training.”

“How did that happen?”

De Bergerac rolled his eyes and shook his head. “My teacher, Takuan, had entirely too many students. He could not keep track of us all, or our needs. You do know of Musashi, do you not?”

“Hah!" I don't know of anyone in Japan that doesn't. Most of us also know who Takuan was.”

“Musashi and I learned our mastery of the sword from Takuan. If you check the historical records from those years you will find a number of puzzling discrepancies.”

“Let's see, Miyamoto Musashi was born some time in the late fifteen hundred -- 1584 -- I think.”

“Yet Musashi's father's gravestone says that _he_ died in 1580. That must have been a world record for a pregnancy, don't you think?”

Akane hung her head. “It's not possible. Human pregnancy lasts only nine to ten months.”

“You're talking about today with modern medicine, but yes, it is as true today as it was back then. Four years or so is way longer than anything possible for a human being.”

“So...His mother was a...What?”

“Oh, she was as human as you are, but there was this kind of -- er -- mishap in dealing with what you modern kids call the space-time continuum.”

“What did people call it when you first came to Japan?” Akane asked.

The Tengu shrugged his shoulders and said, “We called it heaven or hell or the beyond, whatever seemed appropriate.”

They sat in silence for a moment, and another question traipsed through Akane's mind. “Why was I chosen for this?”

“You have died twice,” Cyrano said. “Once by being drowned by the people living on Mount Phoenix, and once by magical dehydration caused by the local Phoenix, a fellow named Saffron. You and your fiancée defeated a Phoenix Kami together. What more could have been asked of you?”

Akane was stunned by his reply and so stared off into space.

“Oh, do go on, my dear! Surely you know by now what your destiny is.”

This sobered Akane very quickly. “No, I don't know what my destiny is. Do you know?”

The Tengu smiled at her gently. “You are a phoenix yourself, you silly girl.”

Akane blushed. She felt her face getting hot.

“Wait!” Cyrano shouted as he threw his pitcher of water on Akane. Don't burn now, you still have a thousand year or so to go!”

Akane sputtered. The water was positively chilling. “Wha..."Why...Why did you do that?”

“I thought you were about to burst into flames!” The Tengu shouted in an alarmed voice. “It's much too soon for you to do that.”

“I...I'm not going to burst into flames!” Akane shouted back. “Whatever made you think that?”

“You are already a phoenix!”

“I'm a what?”

The Tengu cackled with humor once again. “You are a phoenix. The next time you die, you will do so by bursting into flames.”

“I most certainly will not!”

“Certainly you will, my dear. That _is_ what phoenixes do.”

This brought Akane up short. “You mean that I am going to live forever?”

“Well, forever is a rather long time, but for all practical intents and purposes, you will last as long as your native part of the universe lasts. I don't know what will happen after that. At least, no one that _I_ know does.”

Akane's jaw was now flapping like a rag in a strong wind. It took her a moment to regain her composure. “You mean that everyone I know now will die before I do?”

“Well, perhaps not Ranma, although I don't give him much of a chance at outliving your first life.”

Akane was now flabbergasted all over again. “My first...life?”

“Yes, this, well, technically I suppose you should count it as your third life, but yes, this life of yours will almost certainly outlast the lives of all the people you know, save possibly Ranma Saotome, but he could die in battle at any time. His fate is yet to be decided. Who knows when _his_ thread will be cut? The Fates are capricious with the threads of a warrior's life.”

“I'm a warrior, too,” Akane said with iron determination in her voice. “Why wouldn't they be capricious with me?”

“They will be or -- well -- they are. It's just that you will be reborn from your ashes. Most creatures move onward. You will be reborn from your ashes over and over and over...”

Akane felt her stomach fall away, the way she did when standing on something at a great height. She was horrified in a way that she had never experienced before.

_I should be happy, thrilled even,_ _but I'm not,_ Akane thought. _Will the Kami charge me with hubris_ _the way they did Nabiki_ _? This is terrifying. I am going to outlive every one I know? Daddy? Kasumi? Nabiki? Even Ranma? Not to mention all my friends at school. What the hell did I do?_ An even more horrifying thought crossed her mind.

“Will I ever have any children?”

Cyrano grimaced the way person does when he steps on something sharp.

“Ah...well you see, there's a price humans must pay for becoming immortal.”

“So I will never have a baby, then, will I?”

“No, you won't.”

Akane had risen to her feet without realizing it, now she sat down rather heavily.

“Mine and Ranma's betrothal is about us having children.”

“Yes, well, you cannot have children,” Cyrano said. “Ranma will have to turn to another woman to fulfill that part of the bargain between your families.”

Akane's nose stung as hot tears welled up out of her eyes, splashing down her reddened cheeks.

“It's not fair!”

“No, no it isn't fair at all,” Cyrano said in a saddened voice. “Life is almost never fair, but it is in this case. You get to live practically forever, so why should you insist on having children?”

“Because I want them!”

“We all have things that we want. Desires do not mean that we can have them.”

“But this is forever!” Akane shouted. “I will live forever, but I'll never ever have kids of my own. What kind of bargain is that?”

“Most people would say that it is a good one,” Cyrano said.

“Well -- it isn't!” Akane shouted. Hot tears of frustration were now dripping from her chin. “Not for me.” She sniffled.

Cyrano rolled his eyes and clapped his left hand to his forehead.

Akane glared at him. “What's wrong with you, _Master?_ ”

Cyrano dragged his hand down across his more than ample nose and pulled at his chin with it. “You just reminded me of the love of my life, Roxanne.”

“You mean that was more than a play?”

Cyrano rolled his eyes. “Yes, it was much more than a mere play, but it was nothing like the play that Rostand wrote. I never ...” he paused to shake himself all over, making his feathers rattle and fluff out temporarily. “Never mind all that. It's water under the bridge and long gone. You are clearly overwrought. Go have a nice long soak and get a nap. Someone will wake you for our next session.”

With that, Cyrano the Tengu spun on his heel and left the atrium, but he never opened a door. He just walked directly away from Akane. He got smaller with each step he took, then simply vanished into thin air during his fourth stride. Akane sat for a long time staring after Cyrano. There was a noise to one side of her and she turned her head. It was one of the frogish youkai bearing towels and a wash rag.

“Please, follow me, Tendo-san,” the youkai said in a chirruping voice. “Your bath is ready.”

Akane did as her new sensei instructed, and once again fell asleep in the hot water of the outdoor pool. Her fingers felt better, but she was overheated and famished. She visited the shower and wetted her overheated body down with cool water before putting on a dry yukata. By then, the youkai had a hearty meal on the table for her. She ate her fill, it was unagi eel on rice, one of her favorite dishes. She even drank a beer with the meal, but she followed the beer with several tall glasses of cold fresh water. After that she slept like a rock.

She trained with Cyrano the Tengu again when she woke up. He drilled her mercilessly on the use of the staff he had given her. She was completely exhausted and badly bruised by the time Cyrano called an end to that second session. Cyrano left in the exact same fashion as he had at the end of their first training session, and Akane staggered off behind another of the slavish youkai, which this time, was a lantern with arms, legs and a single eye.

“Are you enslaved?”

“No more than any other lantern is enslaved,” it answered in a language that was actually a soft hiss in Akane's mind. “I enjoy this work.”

“I see,” Akane said. “Do you belong to Cyrano?”

“No, I belong to this ryokan,” it answered.

“Cyrano does not own this place?”

“He leases it,” the lantern youkai whispered, “whenever he needs to train a student from the mortal realm.”

“Oh, where does he live, do you know?”

“In the mountains of Kyushu, I think,” the lantern said in its hissing voice. “By the way, you have learned to speak the youkai tongue quite well.”

It was then that Akane realized that she had not actually uttered a single word. She had merely asked with her mind. Then she was frustrated because she had lost all contact with the youkai lantern. It did not hear another thought coming from her. Or, at least, it never indicated that it had heard or felt anything at all.

Akane bathed and ate alone once again, then slept for an indeterminable period of time. It never became dark at this ryokan. She had to be in a completely enclosed space to be in the dark. The place was stuck in what appeared to be an eternal twilight on the floor of an ancient forest.

_Next thing I know, I'll run into Rod Serling,_ Akane thought as she sat down in one of the pools. The water was painfully hot at first, but soothing. I wonder how long I have been here. How many training sessions have I been through? Is this the third or the fourth time?

She soaked until she felt her level of relaxation go as deep as it would ever go, then got out of the pool, dried off and dressed. This time she had been given a dougi that looked much the same as the one her father and Uncle Genma had gotten from that monastery.

This dougi felt very different though. It operated differently. Rather than helping her to make moves good enough to defeat an opponent, it encouraged her to make moves that had never crossed her mind before. It was uncomfortable, especially when Cyrano got through her guard, which he did quite frequently.

“I give you the best weapon ever used or made and a dougi to match and still you are as slow and clumsy as the average mortal,”Tengu-sensei complained. “You should practice kata with that staff between this session and the next.”

“Are you telling me or the dougi, Sensei?” Akane asked. “And what is so special about this bo?”

“That staff was used by none other than Miyamoto Musashi in his first duel against a swordsman,” the Tengu said, then cackled. “He killed that ill tempered fool with it.”

“You mean this bo was used to kill Arima Kihei?” Akane shrieked.

“Oh, do go on, girl!” Cyrano said in a clearly aggravated voice. “Surely you can feel the power of it. I can see it coursing through you as soon as you touch it.”

Akane nearly dropped it, but managed to hold it at arms length instead. It was pulsating in her hands, as though it were a living being.

“Yes, it is very much alive,” Cyrano said with a fierce smile. “Not only does it have the spirit of Musashi in it, it possesses the spirits of every man Musashi killed with it.”

Akane shivered from the top of her scalp to the soles of her feet. She was that appalled by what Cyrano had just told her.

“Oh, come on, girl! You and your betrothed killed a Kami, after all. You should be proud to wield Musashi's bo.”

Akane found herself panting and unable to speak.

_This thing has been used to...to...kill men?_ She wanted to scream, but could not get the words past her larynx. _He really wants me to use it? Really?_

Then she realized that the staff was emanating love to her through her hands and up her arms. It was very much like holding Ranma's hands. She reflexively returned the emotion and the staff literally quivered.

“Yes, you keep doing that, Tendo-san,” Cyrano said. “The staff actually likes you. It expects to be used in many future victories in your hands.”

Having said that, Cyrano spun on his heel and walked directly away from his student, disappearing in mid-stride of his fourth step.

The dougi took over Akane's body as soon as Master Cyrano vanished. It forced Akane to do kata after kata after kata. She improved by visible increments with each kata until she became tired. The dougi forced her to do three more rounds before suddenly vanishing, leaving her naked in the atrium.

“Chikuushou!” Akane shouted in frustration. “It left me standing here without so much as a stitch!”

Akane cast about for a place to sit. She was so tired that she did not think that she could stay on her feet any longer, and having her sweaty skin exposed to the ambient air was about to chill her to the bone. Instead of a place to sit, she saw another frog-type youkai, holding a pitcher of water and a glass. Another youkai, this one was rather like a rack used to hold armor, stood next to the frog-youkai holding a fresh yukata and a towel

Akane decided that modesty would be wasted on youkai. She walked over and took the glass and pitcher away from the frog-youkai and poured the glass full. This water was tainted with sulfur, but it was cold. She drank it down greedily and then poured herself another glass, gulping it down.

She handed the glass back to the frog-youkai and then took the yukata from the armor-rack youkai. She was surprised that this was not a yukata, but more like a regular housecoat. It was made of soft thick felt and had a dark blue and green plaid pattern. She was grateful for its softness and warmth. The armor rack turned and hopped away, disappearing in the middle of its fourth hop. Another youkai appeared out of nowhere, this one was clearly a kappa.

Akane staggered along behind a floating kappa, hardly able to hold her head up as the kappa led her to the bathing room. She fell asleep while soaking in the outdoor hot pool. A frog-like youkai woke her up. It was the one she had decided to call Daigo-san.

“Good evening, Daigo-san,” Akane said. “I missed you.”

“I am gratified to know that you did, Human-san,” the frog-like youkai replied, but he looked revolted. “Dinner is waiting for you on the table. Please get out and dry off.”

“Yes, of course,” Akane said. “Let me get dressed and I'll be right there. Could you get me a pen and some paper?”

“Why do you want a pen and paper?” Daigo asked, suddenly suspicious. “That might get us both into trouble, you know.”

“Trouble?” Akane asked. “How might a pen and paper get us into trouble?”

“I shall ask Master for permission to get those for you,” Daigo answered. “Such items have great power here in our realm of existence.”

“Oh, now I remember!” Akane exclaimed as she tiredly pressed the back of her hand to her right eye. “If someone writes down your name you become one of their possessions, right?”

“There is much more to it than that, but that is essentially true,” Daigo said. “You do not know enough to have a pen and paper in this realm.”

“I don't have the enslavement of anything in mind,” Akane said. “All I want to do is to keep track of the number of training sessions I am completing.”

“You mean you actually want to make trouble for yourself?” Daigo asked. “Why?”

“All I want to do is to keep track of how many times I train with Master Cyrano, that's all!” Akane was irritated now.

Daigo gave her a hard stare. “Go ahead and make trouble for yourself. It would serve you right, _human_.” There was a snarl in Daigo's voice that Akane did not like. It seemed menacing.

Akane still held Musashi's staff in her hands and Daigo eyed her warily, as though it feared an attack.

“Why are you so nervous?” Akane asked. “I'm not going to attack you.”

“That remains to be seen, _human_ ,” Daigo said. “I don't trust you.”

“What have I done to make you mistrust me?”

“You are a human and you are here,” Daigo answered. “It is unusual for a human to even notice a youkai. Most of us have either been betrayed or abused by humans. None of us trust the likes of you.”

“I'm not...”

“Do you have any idea how many of your botched meals are running around in this realm? All of them were supposed to be eaten but weren't thanks to your making them so poorly!”

Akane's face got red.

“And all those misshapen dolls you made! There are hundreds of them running about in this realm.”

Akane felt the sting of tears in both eyes. She was both frustrated and ashamed.

“It would have been fine had you kept those dolls, but you simply threw them into the trash -- as though you were ashamed of them!”

“I -- I was ashamed of them. I didn't want anyone to see them and make fun of me.”

“I know, and the dolls you tried to fix are the worst looking of the lot!” Daigo shouted. “Have you no shame?”

“Would walking upright under this building do?” Akane asked.

“No!” Daigo shouted. “That is where your botched meals live you konama onibaba...”

Akane was startled when Daigo suddenly vanished in the middle of his rant. He was replaced by the lantern youkai.

“Master says that you must not be allowed to have a pen and paper,” the lantern hissed softly in Akane's mind. “It would fall afoul of his spell to control time for you if you kept track of anything you do here.”

“I see,” Akane said. “Do you resent my presence here?”

“Pay no attention to that lowly frog,” the lantern hissed. “Bigotry knows no borders. He is just a simple frog that turned into a youkai when he was gigged by a human and eaten. He has been warned more than once about clinging to his resentment of what happened to him in the previous realm.”

“How many youkai are there like him?”

The lantern gave Akane the impression of somehow shrugging. “How much bad karma is there in that realm? Youkai such as he are the product of bad karma.”

Akane suddenly felt faint. She could not remember how many clothes and rag dolls she had attempted to make, let alone the botched meals that had made someone ill. Some of her meals had even made her sick.

“Oh, don't worry,” the lantern hissed. “You are innocent of any deliberate wrongdoing. All the youkai you produced will not hold your clumsiness against you. They all know what you have become and are proud to be part of your past.”

Akane gave out a huge sigh of relief. Then it dawned on her that a phoenix must have some serious duties to see after and she quivered.

_I just hope I'm up to it,_ she thought.

“Now it is time for you to bathe,” lantern youkai hissed softly. “You have a very long day ahead of you tomorrow.

Unable to record the number of sessions as they occurred, Akane completely lost track of both time and effort. It seemed as though she studied under Cyrano-no-Tengu for at least a year, perhaps longer. But then, after very tiring session, she found that she could not seem to quite recover her breath, even while she soaked in one of the outdoor pools. The youkai looking after looked rather too transparent, as though it too were suffering.

“What's wrong?” Akane asked her attending youkai. It responded by silently shaking its head. “I'm going to need help getting out of this pool.”

The youkai, which appeared to be an ancient chest of drawers, rattled and banged then yet another youkai appeared. This one was shaped like a ladder; it lowered one end of itself into the pool.

“Thank you most kindly, ladder-youkai-san,” Akane said as she used it to clamber out of the pool. “You are a life saver. Water and I do not mix all that well. I'm a hammer, myself. Can't float for _kaka_.”

Once she was out of the pool, she could tell that the ladder-youkai was having trouble getting out of the water as well and pulled it out. It turned out to be extremely laborious. She found that she could only pull one rung of it out of the water at a time with mighty jerks. Each pull required as much energy as she had used on her cell gate in Jusendou. By the time she had pulled the ladder-youkai out of the pool, she was exhausted and fell onto her side. All she had on was her birthday suit.

* * *

Cyrano-no-Tengu settled down in his nest with a sigh of frustration.

“Damn these space-time spells!” His frustration was very real and deep. “I thought I had the hang of them before I started her training! Now everything is about to fail and I can't to anything about it!”

“You cannot,” a distant voice said, “but I can. May I help you with these very peculiar magicks?”

Cyrano recognized the voice. It belonged to Inari-no-Omikami, the Kami of commerce, communications, agriculture and industry. Only Amaterasu herself was more powerful in the Asian pantheon. Chills ran up his back. His feathers ruffled involuntarily all over, doubling his apparent size as he answered.

“Yes, Inari-no-Omikami, please do!” He squawked. “I shall owe you gratitude forever.”

“Yes, you _will_ ,” Inari replied as she made herself manifest on the edge of his nest. “Your little Genwakuza has drifted away from Earth.”

“That was my intention,” Cyrano-no-Tengu said. His feathers were still ruffled and now he shook all over, making a rattling noise. “I did it so that Tendo Akane would not age, while I trained her.”

“I see,” Inari said with a foxy grin. “That was rather foolish of you.”

“Whawka?”

“It _is_ acceptable to slow time for the sake of your students, but freezing time altogether has disastrous consequences. Did you not realize that the space-time tendril connecting this realm to Earth has grown so tenuous that it is no longer transferring adequate supplies of air and water?”

“That's why she had such a rough time with training today,” Cyrano said in a surprised voice. “She was short of oxygen!”

“And moisture in the air,” Inari said. “Allow me to correct that.”

Suddenly, Cyrano realized that he had been affected as well. He felt the nagging cloudiness of thought dissipate like the morning fog. He could breath much easier and the air was no longer dry and scratchy in his throat.

“That's much better, Inari-sama,” Cyrano said. “Thank you ever so much.”

“I'm not doing this for you, Cyrano,” Inari said. “I am doing it for my niece.”

“I was unaware that she and her sisters were any kin to you,” Cyrano said in an alarmed voice. “I apologize for inadvertently risking her life.”

“Their mother was a kitsune and quite dear to me,” Inari said. “I never could understand why she married that yarou Soun, but she did at least produce some fine daughters with his help. Here is how you can avoid the problem the next time you need to to teach students for a prolonged period of time. You calculate a geodesic path through four-space thus. See?”

“But that will age the students about one second out of a hundred!”

“True, but it will not cause you to drift away from the constantly moving Earth, either,” Inari said. “The way you stopped you and your little Genwakuza from moving but, Earth left you and it behind. Earth is now a quarter way further through its orbit -- millions of ri -- yet you and your Genwakuza stayed where you were when you cast your spell.”

“I see.”

“No, you don't, not yet. We must now accelerate and that will put a strain on you and everything else in your tiny Genwakuza. I shall do my best to alleviate as much of the pressure as I am able, but we must accelerate.”

Inari called out loudly in a language that each listener heard in a way that was comprehensible to him, her or it.

* * *

Akane was sound asleep when she heard Inari's voice shout: “Get down and cover your head!” So she rolled over so that she lay flat on her stomach and then crossed her arms over her head, just the way Soun had drilled her and her sisters to do in his survival training course. The youkai around her did pretty much the same, save for the ryokan, which was itself a youkai. Something about planting her nose in the stone outside told her that it was ghostly. Then she lost all thought as it felt like tons of soft weights suddenly pressed down upon her body. She started having difficulty breathing again.

* * *

Cyrano found himself unable to lift his chin out of the straw of his nest. It was as though some invisible giant came along and pressed his head down with one hand, driving his chin into the straw. He did not know how long this continued, but it became about all he could bear before it finally stopped.

“Gahack!” Cyrano cried out as the pressure vanished and he could once again raise his head. “Why did you do that?”

“Because it was necessary to get your Genwakuza back in orbit around Earth, Cyrano-no-Tengu.”

“Did it have to be so rough?”

“It was as gentle as I could make it. You should not have been so foolish to stop time for so very long, you know.”

“I -- I meant well! It was not as though I did this on purpose.”

“I know,” Inari said in a purring voice. “You would otherwise be dead.”

Cyrano felt more than a little fear slice through his body. He shuddered.

“How did you learn these magicks, anyway?”

“From a human wizard named Howl Pendragon. He built a castle that could wonder about the countryside, yet had a door that would open in different towns.”

“That must have been complicated.”

“It was, but he had the help of a fire demon.”

“An oni made of fire? Really?”

“Yes. It was a falling star that Wizard Howl caught.”

“A hidama?”

“Yes.”

“I did not realize that they were living beings.”

“Many hidama are in some realms.”

“Oh.”

“They are very powerful beings where they are beings at all. In this realm though, they are merely falling bits of rock.”

“Oh.” Cyrano's voice had a note of disappointment in it.

“I must go take care of my other duties. Call for me when Akane-chan is ready to return to her family. I shall show you how to reverse this spell, all right?”

“Yes, of course, Inari-sama.”

“Ciao!”

“Good bye,” Cyrano said as the Kami of Commerce vanished. He clapped his left hand to his forehead after Inari was gone.

“I'll never attempt this sort of thing again without Inari's help no matter the costs involved. She drives a harder bargain than any other Kami, but her work is worth the price.”

* * *

No matter what Akane said or did, Cyrano would not explained what had happened. He only trained her all the harder. He pushed her up to her limit during every drill plus a little more. She was exhausted at the end of each session. Some of those sessions had gone by quickly. She might have suspected foul play, no pun intended, had it not been for the increasingly drab appearance of Cyrano himself. He left looking as tired after each session as Akane felt. She decided that a change in subject might help.

“This ryokan is a youkai, isn't it?”

“Yes, child, it is. When did you decide that you were staying inside a youkai?”

“The other day when all that weird stuff happened. How long have you had it enslaved to you?”

“It's not enslaved. It likes it here. It could leave at anytime and there would be nothing I could do about it. Now, en-guard!”

Akane batted away Cyrano's thrust with Musashi's bo.

“You're dodging my questions.”

“No, I'm not!” Cyrano said as he launched a daring fléche on her. She cheerfully bruised his ribs in return.

“Yes, you are, dammit!” Metal blade rang against Musashi's bo. “Now answer me. Where did you find it?”

“This old ryokan was wondering about Towada Ko, if you must know. Its owner was a shrew and the place went broke. It later burned up in a fire and became a youkai. Happy now?”

“No!” Akane shouted as she launched an attack of her own. “Why is it here?”

“This is the realm of youkai, silly girl. I'm a youkai as well.”

“I know that, but why does it stay in this particular wood?”

“Why don't you ask it? It could tell you far better than I,” Cyrano answered as he tried to jam the tip of his sword between Akane's breasts. Akane riposted with the bo, driving the Tengu's blade into the ground.

“Why do you do that?” Cyrano asked.

“Because it hurts you to have to resharpen it!” Akane answered truthfully. “You haven't enslaved the inn?”

“Of course not!” Cyrano squawked his frustration. “What ever made you think that?”

“The other youkai say they are your slaves, why not this ryokan if it is a youkai?”

“I don't hold any of their names, child. They are being punished for their misdeeds.”

“Who holds there names?”

“A local witch. I merely rent their services from her.”

“What did they do wrong?”

“Well the frogs and the kappa, the majority of the youkai working here, are prone to eating each other's young.”

“Oh.”

“Oh, indeed,” Cyrano said as his sword rang from another blow of Musashi's bo. “You could easily break a sword with that thing, you know.”

“Why would I?” Akane asked. “We're only sparring.”

“Because it would help you to do so, silly,” Cyrano said, as he thrust the tip of his blade at her again. “Go ahead and try. It will give you a feel for it.”

Akane then took a hard swipe at Cyrano's sword and it flew out of his hand.

“I said try break it, not knock it from my hand!” Cyrano squawked with frustration. “Why don't you ever listen?”

“I do listen and I tried, but you turned loose of it, Master.”

“I did not turn loose of my sword!” Cyrano said in a dry tone of voice. “You hit it as though you were a gorilla or something.”

Akane grinned at him. “Ranma calls me a gorilla all the time, but then he also says I only have half the fleas.”

“I'm not surprised,” Cyrano said as another sword, this one a katana rather than the rapier he had been using, appeared in his hands. “You rely on your strength entirely too much. You need to start using the techniques that dougi and I have taught you.”

“What techniques? One of them is for breaking swords?”

Cyrano launched an overhead attack. This frightened the wits out of Akane. If she failed to block it, the attack would split her from the top of her head to her crotch. She felt her ki surge into the bo just before it made contact with the side of the katana. The katana rang out as though in pain. The majority of it whistled across the atrium and struck a rock. Cyrano was holding the now next to useless pommel in his hands.  
“That's more like it, Akane-san! Very good.”

Akane stared hard at Cyrano and panted.

“Let us rest for a moment,” Cyrano said. “That was a major breakthrough for you.”

“How so?”

“You finally used your ki,” Cyrano said with a smile. His smiles tended to frighten his students more than encouraging them. This smile was much the same as the rest. Akane gave him a pensive stare. “Which is what I have been after since you arrived.”

Akane stared off into nowhere, silent as a grave.

“Next time, we shall train in another place. Prepare yourself. Get a bath, have big meal. Your training will become truly serious starting with our next session.”

Akane merely cocked an eyebrow at the tengu. Cyrano spun on his heel cackling as he disappeared in mid-stride on his fourth step. He heard Akane give out a shrieking growl as the dougi insisted on her doing yet more kata. He cackled again, just to let his student know that he was aware of her torment.

Cyrano-no-Tengu had good reason for delaying Akane's training. He needed the time to heal up. He stayed in his nest, which was in one wing of the youkai ryokan, not moving for the equivalent of three days. She had actually given him a severe drubbing, and that was a first for him. He could not believe it even as it happened.

“No wonder this girl been made into a phoenix. She's incredibly powerful, even for a Tendou. I just hope she will be obliged to teach a student like her one day,” Cyrano muttered to himself through the waves of pain washing through his body. “I hope I never have to teach the likes of her ever again!” He groaned even louder as he realized what he had to do next. “Now we have to go out and train on that devilish clump of stone posts. At least she will be as miserable as I this time.” 

* * *

Akane wakened with a jerk. She had been dreaming about fighting Cyrano-no-Tengu to the death. It had not been a pleasant dream. She had gotten tangled in her covers while she slept. They had her bound as though someone and walked into the room and tied her up as she slept.

Akane gave out an exasperated sigh as she resisted the urge to simply rip the bedclothes to shreds. She took the time necessary to extricate herself one twisted tangle at the time. By the time she had finished her bladder was screaming for relief and she had to rush to find the night jar.

After she had finished her business and cleaned up, she realized that the room was unbearably hot. It had always been chilly in the past. It made her wonder if something major had gone wrong while she slept, and was surprised when a never before seen youkai suddenly appeared in her room. This one was based on a lamp hanging from a hook on a bent pole.

Without two legs it was unable to walk, it hopped about on its base, thump, thump, thump with its lit part making squeaking noises as it swung to and fro. Another youkai, this one based on hat rack thumped along with the lamp-yokai. It had a fresh yukata, towels and a wash cloths draped on its arms. Akane wordlessly took the towels and washrags from the rack-youkai and silently followed the lamp-youkai out to the bathing room.

Akane took her own sweet time bathing and then lazed about in the hot spring until her skin was pink and horribly wrinkled.

“I've been hanging around with these youkai for so long that I am becoming careless of my appearance,” Akane mumbled. “Doesn't matter. I needed the time to deeply relax.”

She flopped down on the futon and slept until the next meal was served. The youkai brought tons of food to her and she ate steadily for what seemed to be an hour or more. She was so full by the time she finished that she just had to get in another nap. She had a long dreamless sleep and woke fully rested. The lamp-youkai and the hat rack youkai were waiting on her when she woke. She accepted the towels and wash rag from the hat rack-youkai and followed the lamp-youkai out to the bathing area. She only took in a brief soak in the hot spring and returned to her room much sooner this time, only to find the gaudy dougi waiting on her.

“You, are another youkai, aren't you dougi?”

The dougi gave her an elaborate bow in response.

“I suppose we had best get on with it then,” Akane said as she undid the belt on her yukata. The dougi replaced her yukata with a flash and then marched her outside the inn.

“It has been so long since I walked outside the ryokan that I had forgotten there is a village here,” Akane said aloud. “Where are we going?”

Musashi's bo silently appeared in her hands, giving a friendly buzz in both hands by way of greeting.

“You are not youkai,” Akane said to it. “You are genuine piece of oak!”

The bo buzzed her palms once again in answer.

“And you're loaded with ki.”

The bo buzzed twice in answer. Akane gave out an audible sigh.

“I wish that there was someone I could just sit and talk to,” she said aloud. “I think that I am getting homesick.”

The dougi promptly made her start practicing thrusts and parries with Musashi's bo. Akane did her best to relax, allowing the dougi use her body as it pleased. It was far easier on her physically and she could absorb more knowledge when she relaxed. She and the dougi danced through the ancient sugi, whacking and thumping their huge trunks as they went, until they reached the basalt stumps.

Someone had gone to the trouble of removing almost all the dead-fall from the area for as far as she could see. The basalt stumps had thoroughly intimidated her before, but now it positively frightened her.

Another youkai, this one a kappa, appeared with a pitcher of cold water, a towel and a tall glass. It poured the tall glass full of cold clear spring water and held it out toward Akane. She accepted it and drank it all. Then she accepted the towel and wiped her face free of sweat.

“Thank you, Kappa-san,” Akane said. “I needed that a lot.”

The kappa knelt silently in response. It could not lower its head or the water in its dished in place would have poured out onto the ground. Kappa needed to keep their dents full of water at all times.

Akane felt a powerful surge of ki in her legs and was shocked when she landed on the flat top of a basalt stump two meters up from the ground. It was slippery with a thick growth of moss and she had to struggle to keep her footing, even with the dougi's help.

“I wasn't ready for this!” Akane shouted in an angry voice. “Why didn't you warn me?”

The dougi then forced her to leap off the tall stump to a much shorter one. This one was laden with moss as well and Akane slipped, soaking up the impact with the right side of her rib cage before falling down between the short stump and the even shorter ones. They formed a tight crevice, trapping her body.

“Grr! Why are you doing this to me, dougi?”

She struggled to get out the uncomfortable jam, then remembered to relax. The dougi took over, showing her body what to do to escape the grip of the hard stone pillars. Akane breathed a sigh of relief once she was back on top one of the larger diameter stumps, but was given no time to rest.

The dougi wanted her to crush the skull of a small furry youkai that hid in the crevices of the basalt stumps with the end of Musashi's bo. The furry thing was nimble and could run through the cracks between the stumps as though it were made of water. It stayed on the move constantly, and she could not touch it at all, let alone get in a telling blow.

The dougi decided that she needed a break just she was getting the hang of how the furry thing slipped about, and made her backflip onto the soft mat of sugi needles about ten shaku away from the field of basalt stumps and pillars. She touched down softly by using her ki. She felt a surge of pride from the dougi. It had not prompted her this time.

“Oh, be quiet, you!” Akane said to the dougi. “So I did it without you prompting me. It isn't that big of a deal.”

She got another burst of pride in response. Another pair of youkai suddenly appeared with a picnic lunch. It was rice balls with mystery meat and an even more mysterious sauce. Both tasted quite good, so Akane never bothered to ask where they came from. She simply consumed them and consumed them rapidly. She was now looking forward to busting that squirmy furry thing with her bo.

Two hours later she was winded and she had not stirred a single hair on the little furry thing. Rather than forcing her to do more kata, the dougi simply allowed her to walk back to the ryokan on her own. This proved to be a painful chore. Akane was completely exhausted by the time they arrived. She fell sound asleep in the hot pool. A youkai was obliged to wake her up and lead her to dinner.

When Akane woke the next time she felt as though she had been in a bad car wreck. There was not a single spot on her body that failed to hurt. She was especially sore on the right side of her ribcage where she had struck that basalt stump when she fell. That part of her was scraped raw, bruised and cut all at one and the same time. Her forehead had a large abrasion that was now scabbing over and she had a blackened eye. She had blisters on both hands and her feet -- well -- she did not like to think about the soles of her feet. Both of them had been hardened for years. She could strike matches on them as though she were wearing shoes after she had returned from China the last time. Now they hurt like they did the first time she tried running about barefooted.

When she started to eat she discovered that she had chipped her left canine tooth. It hurt to beat the band, but she ate anyway. She could only tell that these things were wrong with her body because she could feel them. She had not even glimpsed anything like a mirror since she had arrived at the ryokan.

“Maybe I'm better off not knowing what I look like,” Akane mumbled. “Especially if I look as bad as I feel.”

She went out again, and again and again, training for what seemed like weeks on those devilish stumps of basalt. She grew weaker and more physically damaged with each session. She never complained. She refused to give Cyrano-no-Tengu the satisfaction of hearing her cry “Uncle!” Akane decided that if she did ever cry out for mercy, the training would become even worse that it was already. She had decided to go on until her body gave out or she died or both.

After the fourth or fifth session out on the stumps of stone, the youkai began serving her a small cup of foul tasting tea before she bathed in the evening. She did not know all the herbs in it, save that it had some stewed willow bark. It alleviated enough pain for long enough to allow her some fitful sleep after each session. She had quickly lost track of how many times she had drank it at the end of her training periods. Time turned into a long tunnel through grey fog for her. She lost track of everything.

Then after a particularly trying session of drills, she was allowed to sleep without being wakened. Her back felt funny when she woke and it hurt like hell when she sat up on her futon. Her bedding was stained with blood, but Akane could not tell from which wound. It might have come from one of several for all she knew. She did know that she was missing some teeth from one of the nasty falls she had taken. She also could feel puffy places on her face. Her nose seemed crooked and she could barely see out of her left eye.

She ate as best as she could with one side of her mouth. Her jaw muscles ached from from the effort and her ragged teeth caused her excruciating pain, but she forced herself to eat anyway. She knew that she would need the energy from her food to work through the next session on that cold cruel pile of basalt stumps.

The dougi snuggled up to her bare skin when she started to remove her yukata. Akane shivered.

“I'm dying, you know,” she said. “You will soon have a dead body inside you.”

She heard it reply as though from a great distance, “We shall die together, today I think. Don't worry, though. You shall return and I will move onward.”

As cheering as that conversation had been, Akane struggled to stay on her feet on the way out to that dreaded agglomeration of stone columns and stumps. She could feel the dougi struggle with her unresponsive body as they leapt up on top of a tall spire of basalt. She could see nearly the whole of basaltic intrusion from this vantage point. Something glimmered in the sun on the far end of the long stretch of stone, nearly all of it was now bare of moss. She hand rubbed most of it away during her training. She jumped off the tall spire of rock without so much as the faintest thought and landed gracefully on one of the short stony stumps. Then she leapt from top to top to top over the length of the field of hexagonal shafts until she was near the glimmering object. She stood aghast as she stared at it.

It was a bronze mirror and she could see herself in it. She looked like a corpse wrapped in a shiny dougi. Her face was battered and twisted. One side of it hung loosely as though its muscles were dead and the the other half was heavily scarred, as though she had been in several fights with a large predatory cat, like a tiger or something. The left side of her ribcage was stove in and her right leg was twisted so badly that she was surprised that she could still put weight on it.

“Kaw!” Cyrano-no-Tengu cried out as he popped up from behind the large mirror. “You look a mess, Tendo! What have you been doing to yourself all this time?”

Akane gritted her teeth -- or what was left of them. It made her head hurt even worse than it had been.

“You know goddam good and well how I got this way you foul smelling bird!”

“Kyak! Kyauk-kyak! Kyaaaah!” Cyrano responded. “You look to be near death, Tendo. I think it might be safe for me to spar with you now! Kyauk-kya-kya-kyuaaaah!”

Akane responded with a blinding fast strike with Musashi's bo. Cyrano just barely avoided it.

“I see that you are as fast as you can ever be!” Cyrano shouted. “But your accuracy still sucks. Don't worry, we shall work on that.”

Akane said nothing. She was now focused on destroying Cyrano de Bergerac. She no longer cared that he was a famous swordsman and brawler. She did not even care that he had lived on for centuries as a Tengu. She wanted him dead and she wanted him dead immediately and her actions proved her intentions. Cyrano-no-Tengu fluttered from stump to stump with Akane in heated pursuit.

“You die today, Cyrano!” Akane shouted. As Cyrano looked silly dodging another of her vicious end on thrusts. “Or I do!”

“I have news for you, Dearie!” Cyrano shouted back. “It's not my time to move onward.”

“We shall soon see about that!” Akane shouted as Musashi's bo whirred viciously about her. She was gratified to see that the Tengu had been too intimidated to attack her. She went after him again -- and again -- and again, leaving a trail of feathers scattered about the tops of the basalt stumps and filling may of the cracks, pockets and crevices with them. Akane had become a killing machine and felt as though she could pursue her prey forever and a day, but she soon learned that she did indeed have limits. She stumbled as she stepped from one short stump to another, nearly falling. Then she realized that her breath was coming in long drawn out ragged gasps, but she also noticed that Cyrano was near his breaking point as well.

“I haven't had mere human do this to me in ages,” Cyrano said. His voice was dry and raspy. “You are truly powerful, young Tendo, but you are not a phoenix, yet!” He held up the mirror so that Akane could once again see her reflection in it.

_My God I look horrible!_ Akane thought. _Ranma will hate me when he sees me. I shall be alone from now on._ _And it is all because of this feathered creep and his magical dougis! I can't go home looking like this. I'm doomed to wonder among youkai forever, now._

Akane felt the heat in her face, first, then it spread downward into her chest and then even lower into her thighs. She was blinded by the bright light that suddenly surrounded her. She could hear the basalt popping and crackling has began to heat up. Some of it even glowed dull red in the brightness that surrounded her. The scattered feathers instantly turned into light ash as the heavier pieces of wood trapped deep in the spaces between the stone stumps caught fire. Then, Akane realized that the dougi was burning, but she could not turn off the heat. She felt her feet catch on fire and then there as a sudden very painful flash followed by nothingness.

Akane discovered, during the timeless black, that her rising from the ashes was a matter of her choosing. The universe did not require her to continue her existence at all. She suddenly understood that life is a process of self-sustaining action and that for her, volition was necessary. She had to decide to continue her existence before she would rise anew. She thought of Ranma and her sisters. She thought about Ranma's dangerous quest to satisfy the Gods of the Greek pantheon. She decided that she wanted to be for him, if nothing else.

She woke lying on the futon in her room at the ryokan.

“Hurry and get your morning business done, please,” Daigo said. “You go home this time instead of having another training session with Master Cyrano.”

“He isn't going to say goodbye?” Akane asked. “I am very disappointed.”

“This won't be goodbye,” Daigo said in a snide tone. “He will send for you when he decides it is time for you to train again.”

“I see,” Akane said, then she proceeded to use the night jar and wash her face and hands. Daigo stood waiting in impatient silence all the while. He appeared to resent every second he had to stay in the same room with her.

“I guess you can take the spirit out of the frog, but you can't take the frog out of the spirit,” Akane said with a rueful grin. “You are a very hateful little reptile, you know that don't you?”

“I have good reason to be resentful!” Daigo said. “One of you humans sent me here.”

“Oh, I doubt that,” Akane said. “Most animals move onward when they die, but you got stuck here for some reason. It must have something to do with you. Were you a human in a past life, perhaps?”

Daigo turned a very deep shade of pink through his mottled green skin.

“That's none of your business, you chibi majyo!”

Akane gave the furious youkai the sweetest smile she could muster.

“I'm going to get a bath, so don't wait for me. I'll ring for you when I'm done.”

“As you wish, _human_!” Daigo said as he stamped out of the room grumbling under his breath.

Akane felt something go click in her head as she watched the back of the fuming Daigo.

“He's not long for this realm,” she muttered. “It is nearly time for him to move onward. He has suffered in this realm until all the others around him are miserable.”

Akane was startled when Musashi's bo suddenly appeared in her hands.

“No, I don't want to be the one who does him in,” she all but screamed. “Let someone else do that.”

The staff vibrated in her hands, then vanished. Akane tramped off to the bathing room without an escort for the first time since she had been in the ryokan. It was then that she realized that she knew exactly where she was, and how long her visit had been. It had been so brief as to be painful, yet she had been at the ryokan for at least a year.

“Magic is difficult because it is so self-contradictory, Akane said to herself. “That's a good thing, I suppose. The number of ambitious evil people practicing it would treble if it were easy.”

She returned to her room refreshed and relaxed only to find an entire roasted pork butt sitting on a platter in the middle of the table. It was stone cold. She sampled it. The meat tasted good despite being cold.

“I guess now I know where the saying about getting the cold shoulder comes from, huh?” Akane said to the empty room.

She started to pick up the bell and ring it, but decided it best not to. This was clearly intended as a test of her patience. Cyrano had finally gotten across to Akane that her temper was her own worst enemy. He had done so by provoking her until she flashed into fire and turned into a pile of ashes. He might have given her a stern lecture on the subject, but had chosen to allow her to suffer the consequences of her thoughtless behavior.

She noticed the mirror as she stood still reflecting on what had just recently happened to her. She looked better than ever now. There was a glow about her that had never been there before. It reminded her Ranma's cursed form, for some reason. She gave herself a warm smile and the mirror reflected her warmth back to her.

_Being angry is the very worst enemy of every phoenix,_ she reminded herself. _Just stay cool and_ _lets_ _eat so that_ _we_ _can get out of here. I've had enough loneliness to last a lifetime_ _._

There were no chopsticks or a fork to eat with. There wasn't even a knife. The roast had a short sword stuck in it. Akane cut the meat with the short sword and ate pieces of the roast held on the point of the sword until she started running into heavy fat. She looked around and sure enough, there was a scabbard for the sword. She carefully cleaned the blade with one the single napkin that had been left on the table before jamming the short sword into its scabbard. The scabbard had been custom made for the blade. She could tell because of how it clicked when she shoved it home.

Daigo suddenly appeared in the room bearing a new dark green dougi.

“Master says that this dougi and that short sword are yours. You may take both of them with you. Do you want to wear the dougi, or do you want me to bring the clothes you were wearing when you arrived?”

Akane rolled her eyes. “Why would I want that tattered sun dress? Leave it wherever it is.”

“It will become another resentful youkai if you do that, _human_!” Daigo said angrily as he dropped her dougi on the tatami covered floor.

“Stop telling lies, you little bigot!” Akane was now gripped with something she had only ever felt once before -- cold ruthless fury.

Daigo quivered with rage, but remained silent.

“That dress will be proud to be part of my past, you fool. I wore it here and got trained by a tengu, the former swordsman known the world over as Cyrano de Bergerac. What have _you_ done since you've been here?”

Daigo's eyes bulged out which was almost amusing because he was bug-eyed anyway.

“You have not resolved one single thing since you've been here, have you?” Akane said in a voice that threatened to precipitate carbon dioxide out of the air. “You were sent here to work out your issues, but you have upset the wa of everyone around you instead.”

“How do you know that, _human_?” Daigo shouted. “You can't prove it. You lack so much as a single shred of evidence!”

“You are truly thick, aren't you? Akane said. “You don't seem to realize why I am here.”

“No I don't and I don't want to know. You're a stinking damned human and that is all I need to know!”

“I am not a human any longer, Daigo-san,” Akane said. She was surprised by the menace in her voice. “I was a phoenix before I was _invited_ here. That is why Cyrano has been training me.”

Daigo laughed. “Oh, what a glorious delusion you live in, you onibaba! If you are a phoenix, I'm the King of Jigoku!”

Akane stared at the little frogish figure. “Careful what you wish for, you miserable little creature.”

Daigo laughed in her face. “Or you'll do what human? You do realize that I could eat you right here right now do you not?”

“Is that a threat?”

“How can you have such a big ugly head and not understand my intent?” Daigo asked. He opened his mouth wide only to reveal the that he possessed the same teeth more commonly seen in the mouths of sharks.

Without thinking, Akane whipped out the short sword and slid it deep into Daigo's chest, then she jerked it out and whipped his blood off of it before sliding it back into its scabbard.

Daigo rocked on his feet looking shocked, then suddenly vanished in a cloud of foul smelling pink mist.

The lantern youkai hopped into the room.

“I see you sent him onward,” it hissed softly. “He was long overdue.”

Akane felt dizzy and was having a hard time staying on her feet. This was not the first time she had been witness to something such as this, but it was the very first time she had ever done such a thing. She collapsed to her knees.

“Please do not feel bad about sending him onward,” lantern hissed in her mind. “That selfish little frog had been making everyone here miserable for months before you arrived. Now he's gone and good riddance.”

Akane answered Bright Lantern in its own hissing language. She could feel the lamps sibilant language slithering through her mind. “He may have had it coming, but I didn't.”

“There is that, yes, but you did the right thing nevertheless,” Bright Lantern hissed. “Do remember this fact: you killed him in self-defense.”

Akane looked around the room and her eyes locked onto the magical dougi. It was not a youkai, but it _was_ saturated with mana, the stuff of magic.

“You will need to take off that yukata before the dougi can engulf you,” Bright Lantern hissed softly. “It yearns to feel you inside of itself.”

Akane got shakily to her feet. “I have someone at home that I yearn to feel inside of me,” she said.

“That must be very pleasant,” Bright Lantern said. “I don't know a thing about it, though. I'm not made for such things.”

“So I can see,” Akane said as she removed her yukata. As soon as she dropped it onto the matted floor, the magical dougi simply appeared around her and cuddled her skin. Unlike the previous dougi, that was very flashy, this one was solid dark green and fit her like a glove.

“Come, Akane-san,” Bright Lantern hissed in her head. “Your norimono and its bearers are waiting out front.”

She followed Bright Lantern out to the front of the ryokan only to find a large procession waiting around a sedan chair. She took in a sharp breath.

“Why so many?” Akane asked.

“They are needed to bear your gifts, Tendo-no-Ouou-omi-sama.”

“I am not a Kami, dammit!”

“No, but you do warrant almost as much respect as a Kami,” Bright Lantern hissed in her mind. “Do try to live up to our expectations and be imperious for once.”

Akane snorted and pointed her chin high as she walked toward her norimono. One of the lumpy kaga-jin youkai held the door open for her. She got into it without utter so much as a word of thanks to the youkai. It looked pleased, as though it had taught her something.

_They did teach me something,_ Akane thought. _They taught me self-respect and that I am truly worth something. I am not just a nobody. I am Tendou Akane, a fearsome Phoenix. Worthy of the love of Saotome Ranma. I shall never feel bad about myself ever again._

The norimono was nothing more than a lavishly upholstered box with a soft seat in it. It had cunning slats that she could look out of while remaining out of sight. There was a flask of saki and a large bottle of chilled water. The bottle appeared to be as magical as her new dougi. It was loaded with mana. She poured a saki cup full of the fresh cold water and sipped it. It was refreshingly sweet.

“One last gift from Cyrano,” Akane said. “I'll be he thinks that it will make a difference the next time we meet.”

She sipped at it again.

“He'll have to do better than this to smooth things between us,” she whispered. “He made me ugly and I may never forgive him for that.”

Akane peeked outside the norimono occasionally as they traveled. She was startled to see the front gate of Tendou-ke. The trip had been shockingly brief. The youkai set the norimono down gently as though it held a very fragile egg. Akane blew out her breath in exasperation, but had second thoughts almost immediately.

_They're doing_ _this_ _out of respect, not because they are afraid that they will hurt me,_ she thought. _They're afraid that they might annoy me and that I will hurt them._ _I have arrived at long last. Simply glorious!_


	5. Akane Ascends; Ranma's New Field

Akane wafted out of the luxurious norimono like a curling cloud of mist as the air resounded with the crying notes of many youkai playing the shou. The eerie plaintiveness of the sound made her skin tingle and crawl. She realized that she was right on the edge of bursting into roaring flames as the eerie music made her blood sing loud in her veins and her body began to vibrate like a reed in the wind, but the sight of the of Tendou gate with its cracked and peeling paint damped her emotions.

This had been the place in which she had grown up and she found it boring; she felt like a butterfly staring at its abandoned chrysalis. She did not belong inside this place anymore -- it was just that simple. _I have outgrown my former home._

“You really can't go home,” Akane whispered. “I never understood how true that really is until this very second.”

_This place_ _seems so ordinary,_ _so_ _ramshackle_ _and plain,_ she thought. _I can't believe that I grew up here._ _This house and its yard look like something that a child drew with crayons_ _on_ _cheap construction_ _paper_ _._ _I_ _must leave soon!_ _I was planning on having a long_ _glorious_ _night with Ranma, but he belongs here and I don't -- not anymore anyway. A night with him_ _would_ _be bad for both of us. It would cause us to linger over one another, even though I have to move on._

She winced as a sudden pain stabbed her heart. _It's not fair, dammit. It's just not fair! We have struggled against so much and just as we started getting close to building something between us,_ _we were interrupted by Jusendou and_ _Safuron_ _and_ _that_ _that--that_ _blonde bitch--Kiima--yea, that was her name_ _Kiima_ _, she takes_ _a dip_ _in the pool that her people drowned me in and_ _then_ _tricks Ranma into thinking that she was me..._

_T_ he nightmarish memories of China overran her in an unstoppable flood. They swirled around her as she began to flounder, making her feel as though she were drowning all over again.

Akane relived dying--twice. Once by drowning in the pool at Jusenkyou, then again during Ranma's battle with Safuron. She remembered being afraid that Ranma might die for her and how she reacted by dying for him. That was why they were so great together. They were wiling to die for one another and always without flinching. It occurred to her that Ranma died that day too, but he had more than one life, thanks to his father having put him through the training in the Nekko-ken (cat fist).

_It's a pity that I had to die first, is all. I can't even wish it was the other way round. I'd never wish death on him. I love him, dammit. He's mine!_ _B_ _ut -- I'm being selfish. I have to move on now for both our sakes. I hate it, but_ _I must leave. It_ _is what I must do. He will understand, eventually. Nabiki will keep him_ _satisfied_ _and_ _Shampoo has taken herself out of the running._ _He_ _was_ _done with_ _her and Ukyou_ _after they all took a role in destroying our wedding_ _._ _I have never seen a man so quietly angry as Ranma was after that. He's still angry._ _I just hope he doesn't take it out on his parents and Dad, not that they don't deserve it._

The odor of recently consumed saki and sautéed cabbage mixed with stale sweat assaulted Akane's nostrils as her father and Genma approached the spot where she stood in the gateway. Both of the old men were drunk on their asses and smelled so bad that she nearly gagged. The stench was especially bad when her father tried to put his arms around her for a hug; he stank of sautéed cabbage, beer and cigarette smoke combined with the sort of stale sweat one gets from just sitting around. Akane found his odor revolting.

She felt the overwhelming urge to push her father away, and even placed the palms of her hands against his chest, but then remembered what she had done to that little frog-like youkai. She had killed him as much because he had insulted her as she had because he had threatened her. She did not want her father to hold her in the same regard as she had that ill-tempered little frog.

“Dad!” Akane cried out. “You've been drinking again.”

“Indeed I have my dear, but that is something I do on a weekly basis. You never objected before.”

“It's different now, Dad,” Akane said trying to keep the desire to wretch out of her voice. “ _I'm_ different.”

Soun and Genma staggered back as one and stared at Akane. 

Genma reached from behind Soun, placing his right hand on Soun's shoulder. “She's right, Tendo-kun!” Genma exclaimed. “Your daughter has a glow about her that I have seen before -- at Jusendou.”

Soun teared up. “What's wrong, with you, Akane?” He choked and then heaved as though he were about to vomit. “Did you catch some awful disease in China?”

“I'm about to ascend, Dad,” Akane said. “I know it's hard for you to understand or even think about.” Akane paused to sniffle. “I've always been hot tempered and clumsy, and I know that you can't imagine me being what I have become, but I'm a youkai now, a phoenix.”

Akane watched as her father froze into something resembling a statue made of human flesh. The same thing happened to the Panda man. Neither of them tried to speak, they simply stared at her looking deeply alarmed. Tears started leaking from the corners of Soun's eyes, then he wailed like a baby who had been delighted to see a burning coal, then seized it with his tender little hand. Even Genma visibly flinched as tears began trickling down his stone hard face. 

Much to her alarm, the only thing Akane felt was an inexplicably odd detachment. She watched her father suffer and did not suffer with him. She was the one who had passed on, not him. She was no longer able to identify with him -- to share in his pain.

_Maybe I've just gotten used to_ _Dad bawling all the time_ _,_ Akane thought. _He's_ _been prone to_ _clouding_ _up_ _and_ _bawling_ _since Mom died. I guess my passing is even worse, but that cannot be helped. As much as I want to comfort him, I can't. I must leave that up to Kasumi and Nabiki._ _I can see how it is_ _now that I am no longer quite among those who are still alive_ _. I'm somewhere between the living and the dead._ _Leaving is_ _a must_ _for the dead_ _while_ _comforting is a job for the living._ _The only reason I am still half-alive is because I have_ _too much to do_ _for the Kami before I can move onward._ _Ranma and I have_ _still have_ _that_ _much_ _in common._

Then Akane  noticed Ranma hanging around behind her father and Genma with a sheepish look on his face. He seemed reluctant to come near her. She rushed between the two old men and took Ranma's hands in her own.  Taking his hands in hers reminded Akane of a pair of statues she had seen as a child. The statues were highly stylized figures of a man and woman facing one another while holding hands. She and Ranma had hands that felt like leather covered stone. Both of them had come by such hands by bitter effort. In Ranma's natural form, as he was now, his hands were much larger than hers, but her hands were just as rough and hard as his.

_Maybe the lack of feeling in our hands is what has kept us apart all this time,_ Akane thought. _Wait! That's true in a way. We are lovers in spirit, but we are rivals in the Art and are doomed to stay that way forever._

“Akane -- you -- you look -- well -- rapturous,” Ranma said, stammering the words out. “Are you gonna be okay?”

_Rapturous?_ Akane thought. _He sees me for the first time in years and this is what he says? What is he thinking? Oh, wait! For him I have only been gone for mere hours -- half a day at most -- and I probably do look rapturous. I haven't felt this good in my entire life_.

“That's because I am about to ascend, Ranma.”

“I'm losing you, aren't I?” Ranma asked.

_He has that choke in his voice whenever he tries to stop his inner feelings from coming out,_ Akane thought. _I have_ _the exact same_ _problem_ _. It's a pity we could never reveal our inner feelings to one another. Perhaps it's because we feel things much too intensely._

Akane felt an unstoppable surge of love for Ranma so strong that it made her hurt physically. She could see that he felt much the same. He loved her so much that it caused him physical pain.

_We have been such silly children!_ Akane thought. _It's a pity that we are just now getting to the point that we can show our true feelings for one another, but_ _here we have it_ _._ _We held back because we feared what others wanted or might have thought. Ooh, if I could_ _just_ _go back in time_ _and change a few things_ _, but that's not possible._

“You aren't losing me forever, Ranma,” Akane said in the gentlest voice she could muster. “All you have to do is meet the twelve challenges that Zeus has given you and you'll be free to do as you please. It'll be a snap for a guy who has defeated a dragon and killed a Kami.”

Ranma visibly shivered.

“But it'll be lonely without you around to admire me and my victories,” Ranma said with his cockiest grin.

Rather than putting Akane off, his braggadocio only made her fondness for him grow more intense. “You'll live! Who knows. You might even get over yourself.”

_When Ranma brags about himself he brags with good reason,_ Akane thought. _It's just that he has never been quite as good as he believes. I suppose that it what has sustained him through his struggles -- constantly believing himself to be better than his current challenger -- even though he wasn't._ _Had he believed anything else, he would n_ _ot be standing in front of me now_ _._

Ranma's grin brought Akane back to the immediate moment.

“What? You mean you're going to run out on my sisters, Ranma?” Akane asked with the notes of her usual jealous anger in her voice.

Akane's voice made Ranma flinch again; he made warding gestures towards her.

“No! No!” Ranma exclaimed. “I'll take care of 'em! I promise!”

Akane felt a huge delight at Ranma's sudden alarm. An evil grin grew across her glowing face. “Oh you will, will you? How will you take care of them, I wonder?”

“I'll do whatever they need me to do!” Ranma exclaimed.

_Clueless as ever,_ Akane thought. _He was never good at dealing with innuendo --_ _or even catching it_ _._

“Anything?” Akane asked.

“Yes, anything at all!” Ranma said. The alarmed tone remained in his voice.

“Promise me that you will satisfy their every need, Ranma,” Akane said as she walked toward him. She stood so close to him that her breasts were just barely in contact with his chest. “No matter what they need, you will deliver on it.”

“I promise, Akane,” Ranma looked down into her eyes and said with that choking sound in his voice. “I swear. I will do whatever they need whenever they need it -- provided Zeus doesn't get in the way. I don't think that I'll ever be able to whip Him.”

Akane immediately understood that Ranma's arrogance was only exceeded by Nabiki's. He had met all the Greek Gods and the only one of them he truly feared was Zeus -- a God of Storms -- in the final analysis. Never mind Ares, the God of War or Apollo, the God of the Intellect, or any of the rest -- just Zeus -- the Sky God and the Being who caused thunderstorms.

“Okay, Ranma. I will hold you to it. You will please my sisters short of any interference by any of the Kami.”

“Yes, I give you my word, only -- don't go, Akane. I need you.”

Akane shook her head. “I must go. I have no choice about that. And you don't have any say in it.” Thinking it would be wise to put Ranma on the defensive, Akane sniffed at his shirt, then asked Ranma what she would be a seriously embarrassing question. “Why do you smell like okonomiyaki?”

“I-I-I, uh, well...Did you know that they have been having sex?”

“Who, Ranma? Who's been having sex? Do I know them? And what does that have with your eating okonomiyaki?”

“U-Chan and Konatsu -- they started having sex within a week of our busted wedding...”

“How interesting!” Akane exclaimed. “But, why did you have okonomiyaki for supper?”

“Well, you and your sisters left and I diddunt feel like cookin' and the old men were drunk and -- well -- I ordered take out from U-Chan's.”

Akane stepped back and gave Ranma one of her old jealous stares. Watching him squirm almost made her feel like the good old days had returned and that nothing had changed, but underneath it all, she could not deny that the single most vital thing of all had changed. They could no longer love one another in their current states. He would never become her lover until he had succeeded in making something of himself -- something seriously celestial. They were no longer on the same plane of existence.

_S_ _till, there's no reason to leave him in crippling pain,_ Akane thought. “I hafta give him something. Maybe a kiss on his cheek and a light hug will do. I can barely stand the smell of him. Why, oh why do the living stink so badly?” 

_Oh, shit! I said that out loud_ .

Ranma stared at her with his mouth set in a grim frown. Then he conjured a cup of water and poured it on his head, invoking his curse. Ranma plus water made for instant girl with red hair.

“Do I smell bad now, Akane?” Onna-Ranma asked in an irritated voice.

Akane was suddenly flustered, but could not lie. “Yes, actually, you smell worse. We are the same sex at the moment, but we are no longer on the same plane of existence.”

Unlike a great many people, Ranma Saotome was difficult to read at times. One could never know what he was feeling unless you knew him well. He could be livid with rage and if you did not know him personally, you would not realize until after he had given you a sound drubbing. Akane knew Ranma in both his forms quite well, and she well understood that Onna-Ranma was well beyond livid. Worse, there was the hard glint of pain in his-her now deep blue eyes that unnerved Akane.

“I'm sorry if my body odor is spoiling our last visit,” Onna-Ranma said. The tone of his voice was positively arctic. “Especially seeing as how you're gonna move onward and leave us behind today.”

“It's not our fault, Ranma,” Akane said. Her heart had been torn open by the tone of Onna-Ranma's voice. The fact that he was in his cursed form had made it especially painful for Akane. “It's just that, that everyone smells bad to creatures on the heavenly plains of existence and now I exist on the lowest of those plains.”

“Yeah, Ranma,” Nabiki said as she took Onna-Ranma by his right arm. “We the living are in the process of slowly dying, in other words we're rotting. That makes us smell bad, doesn't it, Sis?”

Kasumi walked over to Onna-Ranma's left side, took his arm and said, “It's just natural. We all die eventually, Ranma. Akane has been dead for months now.”

Akane nodded her head. “I died twice during the Battle of Jusendou, Ranma. Surely you remember.”

Onna-Ranma's high pitched voice was choked with pain as he stammered out his reply. “Bu -- but I thought that I saved you the last time you died, Akane. How is it that you returned here with me?” Tears were running down the sides of Onna-Ranma's face as he spoke.

_Funny that he can cry when he's in his female form, but never does while he's male,_ Akane thought. _I wonder if there isn't some Cimmerian in his lineage? I'll have to ask around heaven and find that out._

“Ranma, don't weep for me. I'm not really dead, I was transformed. A tiny part of my transformation is because of what Safuron did to us, but the rest of my transformation was by your efforts and mine.”

Onna-Ranma sniffled and wiped his nose with the the overly long sleeve of his blue silk shirt. He shuddered from the top of his head to his knees. Akane feared that he might collapse and, had it not been for her sisters standing on either side of him, he surely would have.

Suddenly, Musashi's bo appeared in Akane's hands as the youkai standing around in the garden began to play their shous quite loudly. The eerie sound of the music once again caused Akane's blood to sing in her veins. She feared that she might catch fire, until she realized that she had the option of turning into a living phoenix instead of turning into a white hot ball of fire and incinerating everything around her.

Everyone's faces began to reflect the harsh actinic light that she had begun to emit. The look on Onna-Ranma's face was both tearful and proud. That made Akane's heart sing loud in her chest.

“Farewell, everyone!” Akane sang out. “We'll meet again one day, Ranma.”

And with that, Tendo Akane took on her sacred form. The wind around the yard began to swirl as it did when Ranma used the Hiryu-Shoten-ha. Akane took to her new wings and flew above the grounds of Tendo-ke in a tight circle and then shot up out of sight into the night sky, leaving her astounded family and her lover gaping up after her. Eventually, a single long red and gold feather floated down and settled on the grass in front of Onna-Ranma.

Onna-Ranma stared at with his deep blue eyes clouded with sadness. He reached out and slowly picked the feather up gently with the forefinger and thumb of his right hand as the youkai and Akane's norimono faded into the night.

“I guess I'll add this to that clump of hair that Ryoga cut away from her,” Onna-Ranma whispered.

“So that's what happened to her hair,” Kasumi exclaimed. “I just knew that she didn't do that bad of a job on her own hair.”

“What didn't you tell us, Ranma?” Nabiki asked as she pressed herself against Onna-Ranma's arm. 

“Ryoga's such a careless bastard,” Onna-Ranma said grimly. “You know he can make cloth and other flexible stuff stiff and sharp, right?”

Kasumi stared at Onna-Ranma with a mystified look, but Nabiki nodded her head. 

“He made his belt into rigid and sharp object, like a thin sword, and then he threw it at me. The damned thing sailed over my head and descended behind Akane just as she spun on her heel.” Onna-Ranma paused to shudder. “It missed her skull by inches.”

“And you kept her hair?” Kasumi asked.

Onna-Ranma nodded his head.

“I'm assuming you have it stored in a safe place,” Nabiki said.

Onna-Ranma nodded his head again.

“Then you should put this feather wherever her locks are now,” Nabiki said. “It's the last your likely to see of her for a long, long time.”

“At least you have two mementos of her, Ranma,” Kasumi said as tears poured down her face. “One from each form of her.”

Onna-Ranma clutched the feather to his chest and fell to his knees weeping uncontrollably. Nabiki and Kasumi joined him and the two old men stared at them in numbed silence; they were so shocked that they were unable to even weep.

* * *

The next morning, the sun rose as it always had. Akane was gone and nothing in the universe seemed to realize it. Ranma felt very alone in his pain and loss, but he was not actually alone. Others felt her absence as well, it was just that the universe could not cease moving simply because a single person died or moved on. Death is inevitable and life is purely a matter of choice. One must choose to live, but death can come from anywhere at any time. If one is alive, then he ought to choose to live. Dying is something too easily accomplished. Ranma chose to live, and to do so, it was necessary for him to make a living.

He gave up on going to formal school the same week Akane ascended. He could not see any future in becoming educated in the pedantic crap that was taught at Furinkan. Soun and Genma together could not persuade him to stay in school. They finally gave it up for a bad job.

The last day he attended Furinkan, Kuno proved himself to be a veritable plague. Ranma now feared the day he ran into Kuno on the street where there were would be no real constraints. He did not know what he would do to the pompous kendoka. _Tear him to tatters, most likely. I 'd hate to go to jail for murder, but killing that pompous ass would almost be worth it._ _Perhaps I should seek out prey other than th_ _at rich-assed_ _Kuno._ _I know where some real_ _lice_ _hang out._

Ranma was indeed a warrior and a hero, but the world only had intermittent use for heroic warriors. He sought out every last two-bit hood in Nerima, robbing them repeatedly of their ill-gotten gains. He took all the fun and profit out of strong arm robbery. Some of those bad boys were stubborn and Ranma got to strip them of their ill-gotten valuta multiple times, but even the most stubborn of them realized that there was no longer any profit for them anywhere in Nerima City. They moved on to other parts of Tokyo where Saotome seldom visited.

Once the last of the Nerimaean nogoodniks finally vanished, Ranma realized he was going to have to find another steady source of income. He was saddled with a house that had an attached dojo and large garden. Such a place cost a fortune in taxes, even in an outlying district such as Nerima. They also had to pay utility bills as well as ongoing maintenance on the buildings.

The house was clearly due for a new coat of paint inside and out. Ranma and Nabiki could likely do the work themselves, but how would he pay for the paint, brushes and drop cloths? He was pondering this thorny thicket of problems as he wondered into the shopping district of Nerima. He stumbled across an ancient farmer unloading his produce cart. His promises to Akane about caring for her sisters weighed heavily on his mind. The burden was his and his alone, now. Even Soun had moved out of Tendo-ke, no longer able to deal with the painful memories it conjured in his fragile mind.

Fortunately for Ranma, the Nerima district of Tokyo had long been famous for producing three things, its manga and anime and the daikon radishes its farmers grew. Nerimaeans raised a great many crops besides daikon, but the large bullet-shaped daikon was their most celebrated crop. Ranma got lucky and stumbled across an ancient and frail, in appearance, farmer unloading his crop at the outdoor vegetable market. The man was complaining about how his lazy son-in-law and daughter had abandoned farming for physically easier jobs in downtown Tokyo.

The elderly farmer surprised Ranma by looking right at him as he said, “But then, I suppose you have better things to do as well, dontcha son?”

Ranma stared silently at the old man, not quite able to put his thoughts together.

“Musashi took up farming between wars,” Ranma said in a speculative tone. “I don't see why I shouldn't. I don't have anything truly important to do right now.”

The old farmer's face lit up. “You mean you'd be...”

“Yeah, I'd be willin',” Ranma replied, “but you gotta unnerstand, old man, if sumthin' comes up, I'd have to drop whatever I'm doin' in order to take care of it.”

“How long does one of your fights usually last?”

Ranma snorted. “Here lately they've all been over and done in under a minute.”

The old man looked thoughtful. “But?”

“But some of 'em have gone on for a month or more,” Ranma said. “It all depends.”

“You mean fighting evil is a lot like the weather.”

“That's actually a pretty good description of it, yeah.”

“Well, then we shouldn't have any insurmountable problems,” the old farmer said with a hearty laugh. “Between the Kami and the weather we farmers are the biggest gamblers on this earth.”

“I ain't no good at gamblin',” Ranma said. His face reflected his dejected feelings. “People can always read my face.”

“In other words, you can't lie even when you want to, right?”

“I guess not,” Ranma said as sadness flooded his being. “I could never pull the wool over any of my fiancées' eyes.”

The old farmer regarded Ranma for a silent moment then said, “Your name's Saotome Ranma, isn't it? You're engaged to Tendo Akane, right?”

Ranma bowed to the old man, then stuck out his hand. “I'm Saotome Ranma of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts.”

The old farmer bowed to Ranma saying, “Higashi Tokunou here, but please call me Yakkusu. I”m pleased to meet you.”

“I'm not engaged to Akane, anymore.” Ranma almost said it without choking, but not quite. “She asc...she left. I've got to stick around and marry one of her sisters now instead.”

“Left, did she?” Asked with a startled look on his face. “Where'd she go?”

Ranma hesitated; he was now in serious straights; the man simply would not believe the truth, but Ranma was never any good at lying so he did dare to even try.

“She ascended to heaven,” Ranma muttered, hoping that his lowered voice would let him get away with telling the truth, “as a phoenix.”

The old man gave Ranma a hard stare, then clapped him on the shoulder. The old man's hand was amazingly hard and strong.

“I'm sorry to hear that, Saotome-san, but you'll get over it. You just gotta start livin' your own life without her now. I know it's hard. It'll take you a while to get past the grief.” The old man paused to make a truly horrible looking face. “It did me. My wife has been gone for five years now and it has taken me this long to start getting better. I still miss the old hag, especially at meal times. Don't worry. Regular work will keep yer mind off her. Did me.”

Ranma shuddered, understandably, at the mention of meal times.

“I unnerstand, whatcha mean, Jiji,” Ranma said, hoping the old man would not mind being called the equivalent of Gramps. “I miss Akane the same way.”

“Think you could step down offa yer martial artsy highhorse to do a little farmin' with me?”

“Would you mind me mixin' my martial arts trainin' in with my work, Yakkusu?”

“No, provided you learn to do the work first.”

“Deal!”

They bowed to each other, shook hands and then Yakkusu turned to get a piece of paper and pencil from his cart. He started sketching out a map for Ranma to follow.

While the old man was drawing, Ranma asked, “How'd you know 'bout me an Akane anyway, Yakkusu?”

The old man chuckled. “I've been knowin' the Tendo Clan for going' on twenty years now. Watched young Kasumi grow up to husband high. Has that sorry-assed Soun found her a husband yet?”

“Ah, well, you might say Kasumi finally took matters into her own hands. She ran off with a God named Hermes.”

Ranma was shocked when this news failed to surprise the elderly Higashi. He accepted Ranma's claim without so much as a ruffled hair.

“She did, heh? With the God Hermes?”

“Yes,” Ranma answered in a tentative tone. He wasn't all that sure that Higashi was buying any of what he was being told.

“Good fer her! Hermes is the perfect match for a young woman of Kasumi's talents.”

This caused Ranma's head to swim for a moment.

“Wait, you did hear what I said, right? Kasumi left home with a God?”

“Like I said, that only figures,” Higashi said as he clamped his pencil between his teeth. “Kasumi's special -- very special. Sweet to a fault and can smooth over nearly anything. Hermes would be just the right God. Inari might've worked out as well, but Inari is female and Kasumi don't swing that way.”

He turned to Ranma and shoved the sketched map into Ranma's hands.

“Here, take this. Be at my place by sunup and don't be late.”

Ranma stared at the hand sketched map. Before he could finish puzzling over it, Yakkusu said, “Be sure to eat breakfast before ya leave the house! The last young man who worked with me didn't like to eat so early and he couldn't make the whole day. Had to fire 'im.”

“You gonna provide lunch, or do I need to bring it?”

“I'll provide lunch and iffen we work late enough, I'll throw in a supper of some kind. Can't promise that it will always be a good supper, but I'll try my best. That's one the reasons I miss my old lady so damned much.”

“If we work that late,” Ranma said with a grin, “ _I'll_ cook. All you need to do is provide the fixin's for it.”

Higashi stepped back with as surprised look on his face. “Really? You know how to cook?”

“I learned from the best two cooks in Nerima,” Ranma said. “Tendo Kasumi and Kuonji Ukyou.”

“Hah! Love that Kuonji girl's teppanyaki!” Higashi exclaimed. “We're set then. See ya in the mornin'. I still got more work to do today and I'm standin' here with you beatin' my gums and burnin' daylight.”

And with that, Higashi seized the long wooden handles on the cart he hauled stacks of daikon and other vegetables on, and set off at a brisk pace to the east. Ranma scratched the back of his head and studied the map.

He was puzzled at first, but then realized that he had been to Yakkusu-ke before.

“I knew that old man looked familiar!” Ranma exclaimed.

He had landed right in the middle of Yakkusu's herb patch a few times thanks to the sundry amateur run airlines in Nerima -- Air Akane -- Air Ukyou -- Air Cologne -- even Air Happosai a time or two. Ranma had always landed on Yakkusu's place in his cursed form. Today would be the first time the old man had ever seen him as a man.

“Boy is he gonna be shocked the first time it rains on us,” Ranma muttered to himself as he shook his head. “I sure hope he unnerstands.”

Ranma arrived at Tendo-ke just as Nabiki returned home from Furinkan. She went to the hall and picked up the phone. Ranma followed her and put his finger down on the button so that she could not dial out.

“I feel like cookin' tonight, Nabiki,” Ranma said. “What've we got in the kitchen that can be made edible?”

Nabiki stared at him as if he had suddenly sprouted an extra head.

“Why would I know?” Nabiki asked as a grimace of pain flashed across her face. “We've been living off of takeout for months now. We haven't bothered to shop for groceries.”

“Oh,” Ranma said, looking embarrassed. “I'll look then. Give me a minute.”

“You do realize that Dad and Hinako-sensei are coming over tonight,” Nabiki called after Ranma as she trod along behind him into the kitchen. The kitchen had not been used for so long that dust had begun to accumulate on all its horizontal surfaces.

“That's fine,” Ranma called over his shoulder. “Just so long as Hinako-sensei don't drain me.”

“She's been doing much better, here of late,” Nabiki said. “She can stay in her adult body nearly all day now that Dad has moved in with her.”

“Gee, I wonder why that is?” Ranma said, moving things in the pantry about.

“Well, it could be that she's vamping Dad's ki through something other than a hole in a coin,” Nabiki said with an evil grin. This whizzed right over Ranma's head and Nabiki's face reflected her disappointment at his lack of amusement.

Ranma had busied himself digging through the pantry. “Nabiki, have you ever shopped for groceries _ever_?”

Nabiki suddenly looked cautious. “Why do you ask?”

“Because I made a deal with a farmer today to help him out with his work. I'm supposed to be at his house before sunup tomorrow and I don't know if I'll have time to shop for groceries.”

Nabiki looked relieved, as if someone had just taken tons of weight off her shoulders. “I'll do the shopping, but you'll have to do the cooking.”

“Really? Why?”

“Because I never learned to cook and don't plan on ever learning to cook,” she said crossing her arms over her breast. She had a look of hardened determination on her face. “I'll never be a Kasumi.”

“Isn't that rather cheeky of you, Nabiki? Never learning to cook? What if I get hurt and can't cook?”

Nabiki stared at Ranma in horror. “You're right, Ranma. I don't know enough about giving first aid, either. I guess that under our circumstances, I'll have to study up on both.”

“I tell you what, tomorrow evening we will start cooking together, okay? Don't worry. I don't cook anything fancy.”

Nabiki gravely nodded her head. “Deal. The very last thing I want is to confirm the Gods' charges against me.”

“Hubris?” Ranma asked with a nasty grin.

Nabiki stared at Ranma as though she might break out into tears.

Ranma sensing her fear put his arms around her was surprised when she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight.

“Akane and I have been very bad girls toward you, Ranma, Nabiki murmured into his chest. “I apologize for us both.”

Ranma laughed out loud. “That's okay. I started out thinkin' that the reason me 'n Shit-daddy came here was to run a scam on you girls and your dad.”

Nabiki pulled back and looked Ranma closely in the eyes. “Funny, so did I.” She gasped. “So did Kasumi! That's why we mistreated you so badly.”

Ranma was still trying to get past his guilt when Nabiki broke out into unrestrained laughter.

“Well, that's all water under the bridge now,” Ranma said as Nabiki's laughter subsided into giggles. He could feel the heat from his face turning red. “Shit happens.”

Nabiki kissed him on the cheek. “Yes, it does.” She released Ranma and he could continue taking inventory of the pantry and fridge. The pantry appeared to be well stocked with dry staples, but all the fridge had in it was leftovers from the takeout meals that they had been surviving on.

“What sort of deal have you got with this farmer, and when will you get paid?” Nabiki asked as Ranma came to a silent and started scratching the back of his head.

“I think that he plans on paying me every time he sells his produce,” Ranma said. “It won't be that much at first. I'll have to get his production back up before it'll amount to anything serious.”

Nabiki bit her lower lip and then sighed. “I guess I'll have to dip into my college fund this week.”

Ranma stared at her with a wretched look on his face.

“Oh, don't look so tragic,” Nabiki said as she choked back her tears. “I won't be going to college anyway. You and I are going to gallivanting off on your heavenly chores any day now.”

Nabiki sniffled and Ranma took her into his arms again.

“I learned something about the Gods today,” she whispered to Ranma as she cuddled with him.

“What was that?”

“That the Gods always drive you crazy before They destroy you.”

“Mmph! It's a good thing you're Tendo Nabiki then,” Ranma said with his usual bravado. “You'll drive T _hem_ nuts before they ever figger you out.”

Nabiki laughed bitterly. “Think so? This endless waiting for word from Them is beginning to wear on me. I thought They would act quickly, but its been over a month now and still no word from Them.”

“Well, look at it from Their perspective,” Ranma said. “When you're immortal, what's a year or even a century? They lose track of time. Time is something we mere mortals must worry about.”

“I suppose you're right,” Nabiki said. “Do we have enough here for you to cook a meal, or should I order takeout again?”

“Ranma sucked in a deep breath. “Call for takeout. All we have that I can cook quickly is rice and instant miso.”

“Okay,” Nabiki said as she broke free from Ranma's embrace.

“I'll work up a list for ya to shop for tomorrow,” Ranma said.

“That'll work. Unagi tonight?”

“Unagi's damned expensive.”

“I know, but we're having company.”

“Your Dad and Hinako are _not_ company. They're basically just family. Order something cheaper. Udon or even okonomiyaki.”

“How about western style pizza?”

“If your old man's stomach will tolerate it.”

“Let him have nightmares,” Nabiki said. Ranma could hear her evil grin creeping into her voice. “He's living with Hinako now.”

“Ya gotta point there, Nabiki. I don't think Hinako has ever cooked a single meal in her entire life.”

“What makes you say that, Ranma?”

“The one time I was in her apartment, her floors were littered with cartons from cheap takeout and snack wrappers.”

Nabiki gave Ranma a knowing stare as she asked, “What did you do once you saw it?”

“I cleaned it up.”

Nabiki shook her head and tisked. “You are such a compulsive neatnik, Ranma. One little thing out of order and you just _have_ to put it up.”

“I couldn't believe that one of our teachers was that filthy is all. I cleaned up her place out of shame.”

“She was living alone back then on a teacher's salary. Now she's living with Dad and the money he earns.”

“Maybe so, but if they were really that well off, why do they still come over here on a weekly basis? They show up here like clockwork.”

“Because Dad comes over here to pay his respects to my late mom, Ranma.”

“Yeah? Maybe so, but what do you wanna bet me that _our_ take out helps?”

Nabiki regarded Ranma for a moment, and then said, “Okay, udon noodles it is then. Too bad the Nekohanten closed.”

“Bite your tongue, woman!” Ranma exclaimed. He was already doing his best to make out a list of groceries for Nabiki to buy. His hands were so stiff and battered from his training that he found using an ordinary pen difficult. “If that place were still open you'd have been challenged by Shampoo the mornin' after Akane ascended. You got an ink brush somewhere?”

“In the drawer, Ranma, where it and the ink are always kept.”

“Oh, yeah,” Ranma said looking sheepish. “Sorry 'bout that. I shudda remembered.”

Ranma took out the brush and ink and proceeded to make out a list that could be easily read by anyone who knew anything at all about written Japanese.

Nabiki placed a large order for pork udon and hung up the phone.

“How you can write with a brush as well as you do astonishes me,” Nabiki said. “I thought you spent all your time training with your dad.”

“I did, but to learn anything serious ya hafta be able to read all those ancient scrolls. Before the Great War, written Japanese was very different from what it is today. There were more kanji back then and all of 'em was more complicated to write. They averaged two or three times as many strokes.”

Nabiki sighed. “I know that, but how on Earth did you learn all that stuff? You know more characters than I do and I spent practically my whole life falling through the schoolhouse doors every time they opened.”

“Well, if nuthin' else, you shudda learned not lean against a door that opens inward, huh?”

Nabiki smacked Ranma on his shoulder and then winced.

“Stop joking around and tell me how you did it, Ranma,” Nabiki said as she shook her injured hand in hopes of making the sting go away.

“Hell, who knows?” Ranma asked without looking up from his writing. “There were lots of nights when hunger kept me awake and so I would sit and try to learn how to read. And then a few of the dojos we visited had ancient scrolls and I was always quick with questions. Most of the guys that Shit-daddy took advantage of were generous to a fault with me. They would answer any of my questions they could.”

“So you're secretly a genius who only _pretends_ to be a dumb jock.”

“If it hasn't anything to do with the Art, I ain't interested in it.”

“Ninety-percent of genius is the ability to concentrate,” Nabiki said, quoting Einstein. “I guess that makes us both geniuses in a way. You specialize in the Art and I specialize in getting money.”

“Sometimes I think you'd die if you couldn't rake a few yen offen some poor sucker,” Ranma said. “You do well with your Ice Queen act, ya know.”

“And you would've died months ago if hadn't been for all those petty thieves to steal from, wouldn't you?”

“Yeah, well, they did provide a living for us.”

“Yes they did. That's why I never said anything to you about you quitting school, but why the sudden interest in agriculture?”

“Oh, that's easy to explain. All the thugs got the hell out of town or reformed themselves. I still gotta keep the money comin' in.”

“And I have very expensive tastes, don't I?”

“Kasumi likes to eat too, ya know.”

“Yeah, but she hasn't been here for weeks now and I have,” Nabiki said as her eyes wondered up the stairs. “You could have paid me a visit or two during these past dark and lonely nights, you know.”

Ranma winced at this. Nabiki placed her hand on his shoulder to comfort him. Ranma reached up and covered it with his.

“I'm sorry, Nabiki,” Ranma said with obvious pain in his voice. “I know that I promised Akane to do everything I could to keep you and Kasumi happy, but -- but I just couldn't...”

Nabiki kissed Ranma lightly on the cheek.

“That's okay, Ranma. Heroes are supposed to be all muscle and no gonads. Haven't you read any romantic literature at all?”

“What's a gonad?” Ranma asked with squinted eyes and a suddenly evil grin of his own.

Nabiki smacked him again, making her still stinging hand even worse. “You bloody well know what a gonad is, Saotome! Don't try to play the innocent dumbass with me.”

“Oh, now, Nabiki,” Ranma said with a rapidly spreading smile, “you know I wouldn't do anything so stupid.”

“La! And Har-har, _hardee_ har-har!” Nabiki said as she placed her fists on her hips and glared at Ranma. “This from the guy who has gone out of his way to make his teachers think that he could just barely read or write!”

“I do have trouble reading modern Japanese!” Ranma exclaimed. “And my hands are so beat up that both ballpoints and pencils are hard for me to write with. I can barely use either of them.”

Nabiki was less than impressed with these protestations. “And yet you know more kanji than anyone who ever graduated from high school, save possibly the history buffs. I'll bet you know more obscure characters than even they do.”

“The situation _is_ silly, isn't it?”

“Yes, it is and you're feigning bad grammar is equally silly, Ranma,” Nabiki said in an exasperated voice. “You may as well give up the dumb jock act with me. I already know better.”

“Old habits die hard,” Ranma said as he shrugged.

Nabiki gave him an even harder stare. “We have just enough time to clean up before the food gets here. Let's go get a shower.”

“You go,” Ranma said as he blushed. “I'll use the hose outside.”

“And risk having that horny slut Hinako seeing your naked body? Not a chance, Saotome. You're coming with me.”

“You're that jealous?” Ranma asked in an amazed voice. “Of my girl side? I thought Hinako was straight!”

“Akane was jealous and I'm her sister,” Nabiki said with a knowing smirk. “You were expecting me to be any different?”

“We were engaged for the better part of a month and you rented me out to nearly the whole school as I recall.”

“That was just business.” Nabiki's reply was just a hair too quick. “It was nothing personal.”

“I'm beginning to believe that everything you ever did to me, or about me was _very_ personal.”

Nabiki grabbed Ranma by the front of his shirt and started dragging him toward the furoba.

“Come on, Ranma. We're running out of time and I want to be clean and fresh when the food arrives.”

“So, we're just going to shower and not soak?”

Nabiki gave him another one of her trademark evil grins. “I'll scrub your back, you scrub mine.”

Supper that night was a tedious affair. Onna-Ranma did his best to be cheerful for Soun, but he did not feel particularly cheerful. The very first thing that happened that evening was that Soun went into his old bedroom to worship his late wife. Hinako fidgeted around the chanoma in her child form until Onna-Ranma gently dosed her with a ball of bubblegum pink ki. She was grateful for Onna-Ranma's generosity as she changed into her adult form, but she behaved in the same old snooty way she always did when she was teaching at school, fussing at Onna-Ranma for having dropped out of high school.

Nabiki, being Nabiki, encouraged Hinako to be even more annoying than usual, taking a huge delight in Onna-Ranma's and her father's embarrassment. Onna-Ranma had chosen to stay in his cursed form thinking it might discourage Nabiki from teasing him but, no such luck. She tweaked his nipples and patted his butt until he was just as hot and bothered as he had ever gotten.

Being randy always made him feel guilty after Akane had ascended. He always felt as though he was some how betraying the Tomboy. His psychological rope had so many hard knots in it that untying them was difficult. His mental condition made him clumsy and hesitant and that only made his lack of social graces worse. He could tell that Soun was put off by his diffidence, but Onna-Ranma could not help himself.

Finally, after a much longer stay than was necessary, he and Soun usually only played two games of shougi but this time they played four, Soun and Hinako left. Nabiki began to gather up the leftovers and Onna-Ranma went upstairs. He sat down on his futon that was still in the guest bedroom where he and his father had bedded down for years. He still had not changed back into his natural form, planning on doing that before he left early in the morning. Onna-Ranma sat in his best lotus position and sternly instructed his subconscious to wake him at the very start of the first crepuscular hour.

It took more than the normal effort to instruct his subconscious to pick up on the sounds of the tiny few insects and frogs that made faint noises at that early in the morning -- an hour-and-a-half to two hours prior to sunrise. Those early morning sounds were barely different from the noises that the night creatures made and, if he was not careful to be stern with himself, his subconscious would wake him up too late to eat before he had to set out for Yakkusu's farmstead.

After thirty minutes or so, nearly twice the time it should have taken, Onna-Ranma drifted off to sleep. Later that night he felt something hot, rubbery and soft press up against his back. He started to growl, then realized that there was no fur and that it was not Shit-daddy. It was a lonely Nabiki needing comfort. He smiled as she settled in with her hands cupping his breasts as he returned to his dreams. They slept cuddled together for most of the night, but when Onna-Ranma woke, Nabiki had returned to her room.

Onna-Ranma shrugged. “Love between me and Nabiki won't come easy for either of us, I guess.” He thought about Akane and clouded up.

With a shake of his head to rid his eyes of tears, Onna-Ranma ran downstairs showered and dried himself off. He put on fresh guy type clothing and fixed something to munch on for breakfast: sticky rice pressed into balls and a cup of instant miso. Then he set out for Yakkusu's farmstead. The sky had just barely begun to turn grey on the horizon when Ranma arrived.

“Well, I see that you know what a clock is,” Yakkusu said in a loud voice. “I guess we'll see how much you value time for what it really is today.”

“Time is life,” Ranma said in a grim tone. “I don't need instruction on that.”

“I suspect that you really don't,” Yakkusu, “but my suspicions don't count for shit. What matters is what you do and how you behave.”

“Point taken,” Ranma said. “What do you want me to do first?”

“See that pile of shit out there?”

Ranma looked over his shoulder. There was a great hill of manure behind him. He could smell all sorts of manure, goat, chicken, cow, horse, pig -- even some fish entrails.

“Now that you mentioned it, yes,” Ranma said in a dry tone of voice. “I don't know how I missed it.”

“We'll need that in several other places by sundown,” Yakkusu said. “Think you can manage?”

“That depends on where you want it and how you want it moved,” Ranma answered. “Anything special about this chore?”

Yakkusu was impressed by Ranma's response. “Okay, we'll add caution to your list of observed virtues. It will have to be moved in a particular way. It's going to be converted into a special soil called compost. We'll hafta mix both green and brown plant matter with it in specially arranged piles.”

Ranma looked around and saw a mat of straw roughly the size of two tatami. “That where you want to start?”

“You guessed it.”

“How deep?”

“A little under a shaku deep,” Yakkusu replied. “You know what a shaku is?”

“It's a unit of length equal to ten sun or roughly a third of a meter -- 33.3 centimeters.”

“Well, I be damned!” Yakkusu exclaimed. “I didn't realized that they were still teachin' the old units in schools these days.”

“I didn't learn it in regular school,” Ranma said. “I learned it while studying martial arts. The metric system is ill suited to measure distances on a human scale.”

“So it is, my boy,” Yakkusu said. “So it is. I can see how a martial artist would want to avoid the newfangled metric system.”

“Don't get me wrong, the metric system is much better for just about anything you can name because it's so simple, but it ain't suitable for measurin' stuff you gotta unnerstand for the Art.”

“So, how accurate must a martial artist be then?”

“The martial artist needs to be able to repeat any move he makes to within a quarter of a sun; less than that if he wants to be better than good.”

“Well, thank goodness ya don't hafta worry about that level of repeatability when it comes to planting,” Yakkusu said. Can you eyeball a depth as accurately as you claim?”

“Yes.”

“Then spread a shaku of manure on this little patch of straw while I fetch us some green stuff to go on top of the manure.”

Ranma shrugged his shoulders and went to work. He had a layer one shaku deep spread out by the time Yakkusu returned with a cart load of vegetable tops. Yakkusu did a double take at the manure that Ranma had spread, dumped the cart and said, “Spread this over the manure. I'll be back in a jiffy with more.”

Four layers later and ten more minutes that compost pile was finished and covered with a cheap plastic tarp. Ranma and Yakkusu started work on the next compost heap, and then another and another. They used up the entire hill of manure by sundown that day and they had taken a lengthy break for lunch.

Ranma was comfortably tired. Yakkusu appeared to be exhausted.

“That's enough for a day, Saotome-san,” Yakkusu said. “Go home and get some rest. We'll tackle sumthin' different tomorrow.”

Ranma nodded his head in assent, then strutted off toward Tendo-ke.

_This is not nearly as hard as training with Shit-daddy was. It f_ _eels good to finish a day in_ _with enough energy_ _that_ _my brain can still work_ _,_ Ranma thought. _I wonder how Nabiki did with the shopping. I sure hope she managed to hold back on the spending. It's gonna take a month or two for this farmin' gig to pay anything._ _Hey, m_ _aybe I'll get home in time to catch the Nerima Daikon Brothers on the tube._


	6. Chapter 6: Ranma Meets Throgmorton, the Mougyuuneko

The rain was coming down in barrels -- not buckets -- barrels. The hissing and bubbling noise from the rain was deafening. Inside Tendo-ke, Ranma was desperately hunting his rain gear, slicker suit and rubber boots, but could not find them.

“Nabiki!” He shouted straining his voice to be heard over the drumming rain. “Have you seen my rainy weather stuff?”

“I told you, Ranma, I threw i all away.”

“Remind me why you did that, Nabiki.”  
“Because it didn't fit your guy side anymore. You're two sizes bigger now.”

“Oh,” Ranma said in a very disappointed voice.

“Why do you wanna go out in this mess anyway?”

“Because I hafta!” Ranma shouted. “Yakkusu works everyday, rain or shine. There's always something a farmer can do and iffenhe doesn't, he goes broke.”

Nabiki walked out of her room onto the balcony. She was wearing a fundoshi and her thin pajama top with no bra. She slinked over to the handrail and used it support her in a provocative pose.

“Sure you don't want to come back to bed?”

Ranma stared up at her and then gulped -- hard.

“I really need to get on the road, Nabiki-chan,” he said, then took in a deep breath. “Going back to bed with you would be more than great, but you and I both like to eat.”

Nabiki gave him a sincere pout.

“Look in the hall closet. I left my old riding hood there somewhere. It might fit your girl type.”

Ranma grimaced.

“Yakkusu has never seen my cursed form -- or at least I don't think he has. He'll be shocked.”  
Nabiki gave him a positively lascivious grin.

“Well, he's in for a treat, isn't he?”

Ranma thought about what Nabiki said and then shivered.

“I was hopin' ta keep him and me in a man-to-man relationship,” Ranma said in a dejected voice. “I was hopin' ta keep the curse outta it.”

“La!” Nabiki chirruped. “You may as well want to have a cake and eat at the same time. Can't be done, Saotome, not with the weather we have here.”

Ranma drooped for a few seconds, staring at the floor between his feet, then he suddenly looked up at Nabiki who had held her provocative pose.

“What are you wearin' anyway? Aren't those men's underwear?”

“Oh, you noticed, did you?”  
Ranma rolled his eyes.

“Of course I noticed!” Ranma exclaimed. “D'ya think I'm blind?”

Nabiki snorted derisively.

“The way you're reacting you may as well be blind,” she said, then gave him a severe pout followed by a tender chin quiver.

Ranma heaved a heavy sigh, then tore up the stairs, swooped Nabiki up into his arms, carrying her back into the bedroom where he and his father had slept for so many years. He and Nabiki had been sleeping together there for the better part of a year by this time. They had not heard a single word from the Gods or even Kasumi.

After a very intense and very pleasant half hour in which Nabiki had three orgasms and Ranma had one, Ranma got up again, saying, “I really gotta get outta here.”

It was still raining very hard and there was the occasional flash of lightning followed by a heavy rumble of thunder.

“Well, there's no way you can wear your guy-type rain gear, Ranma,” Nabiki murmured into her pillow. She stretched the muscles in her back and then flopped over onto it, staring up at the now standing Ranma. “You'll have to use my old riding hood.”

“What color is it?” Ranma asked.

“Red, of course,” Nabiki said with a grin. “I wore it for one of the oban parties we had at Furinkan, remember?”

Ranma thought back on it and did remember.

“Yeah, I remember,” Ranma said. “You wore that thing with nothing onu under it, didn't ya?”

Nabiki grinned. “It was my form of putting on a striptease without taking anything off.”

“Hell of an act, too, as I remember it. Akane smacked me every time you walked by.”

“You should've kept your eyes on her,” Nabiki said with a happy smile. “Then she would not have been able to hit you.”

Ranma pursed his lips.

_Iffen_ _'_ _I'd stared at her like that, she'd a smacked me for havin'_ evil _thoughts about her,_ he thought. _Couldn't win for losin' with Akane._

“You might be able to squeeze your girl form into it,” Nabiki said, “although it will be tight in a couple of places.”

“And the hem is going to be too long.”

“I don't think so,” Nabiki said. “Go change into your girl type and try it on.”

Ranma did as Nabiki suggested and, sure enough, there were a couple of tight spots -- it was tight across his chest for starters and across his buttocks, beyond that it was fine.

“It'll hafta do,” Ranma muttered. “I gotta get on the move.”

* * *

Throgmorton, the Mougyuuneko, as Ukyou Kuonji had come to call him, absolutely positively hated rain. He had been out on one of his rather serious tours when it started raining and he was well out of range of the sheltering eaves of the Ucchan. He holed up in a bus stand out of the weather -- well -- most of it. He still got a little mist despite his having crowded himself tightly into the back corner of the stand.

This particular bus stand was modern and made of clear acrylic plastic sheet with a metal frame. The acrylic had been installed on the inside of the galvanized steel so it was not a problem for him to crowd himself into a tight furry ball of misery in the rear corner behind the bench where the passengers sat waiting for a bus.

Throgmorton was intelligent enough to have identified two separate buses that would take him near the Ucchan. The first one always smelled faintly of sauteed cabbage. It stopped quite some distance away from Ukyou's restaurant, but the other, the one the smelled _strongly_ of sauteed cabbage always stopped very near the Ucchan. It was the bus that Throgmorton was waiting to board and, all would have been well, had it not been for the hefty Obaasan with the Yorkshire terrier.

Yorkies cannot be said to be among the sharpest knives in the drawer, but their senses are keen. As soon as the Obaasan sat down, it started yipping and yapping at Throgmorton. The Obaasan had gained so much weight so quickly that she had been unable to buy a rain coat that fit her properly, so she did not want to try to see what her pet was yapping at. Doing so would require her to turn hard enough to pull a seam open on recently acquired raincoat.

She shushed the little dog and bobbed him up and down the way one would a colicky baby and then even used baby talk to calm the little mutt, to no avail.

Throgmorton positively loathed Yorkshire terriers and as he wound himself tighter in the corner of the too well lit bus stand, he quickly started hating this one. He wanted to get away from it as quickly as possible. He also wanted to teach it a lesson so badly that he could taste it. Some dogs had no business bitching at cats, and this dog well and truly deserved a lesson in cross-species etiquette.

A bus stopped at the stand. The door opened and four passengers stepped out of it and into the stand so that they could adjust their rain gear without getting wet. The Obaasan kept her seat, watching them and the little mutt began to yap even louder. The bus only faintly smelled of sauteed cabbage, but by this time, Throgmorton wanted to be away from the noisy little dog worse than he hated a prolonged walk in the rain. He bolted for the bus.

Just as he reached the top step, he made a one-eighty and leapt into the Obaasan's lap. Then, he gave the Yorkie a sound beating with his fore-paws without running his claws out. He sorely wanted to cut the little mutt, but did not. That would have taken too much time and he would miss the bus.

The Yorkie yelped and whimpered while doing its best to avoid the blows that Throgmorton rained on its tiny head, but to no avail. Throgmorton could swat at about the same speed as Saotome Ranma does when using the Chestnut Fist technique. After thirty or forty blows to the head, Throgmorton decided that the Yorkie had had enough and bolted for the bus again. He landed on the top step, shook himself and then trotted down the length of the bus beneath its seats.

The driver looked after him, shrugged his shoulders and closed the doors. He knew Throgmorton well and understood that the cat was peaceful so long as no one tried to touch him and that he would get off when the bus stopped elsewhere. How the cat knew where to get off puzzled the driver, but the cat always got off at the same spot, no matter where he got on the bus. The driver moved over into the traffic shifting gears as normal, leaving Throgmorton to his own devices under the very back seat of the bus.

* * *

Convenience stores are almost always called convenience stores, but there are places where they are called by other names. In New York City, they are called “bodegas.” Out in California, they are called “mini-marts.” In some parts of Texas they are called “Seven-levens” or “Yew Scrotems,” because Seven-Eleven® and Utotem® were the two most numerous chains in Texas, but in Japan they are almost always called “kobini,” which is just an abbreviated version of the Japanglish word for “convenience store.” Most of them are open around the clock, seven days per week.

Onna-Ranma stopped at one on his way to Yakkusu's farm, well, Yakkusu farmed patches of land all over Nerima, but he kept his equipment and chickens in an old out building that was surrounded by numerous empty lots where he put in crops every year, mostly daikon but other vegetables as well. In addition to daikon, he grew negi, or Welsh onions, damanegi, or bulbing onions, carrots, potatoes and even a few parsnips when he could get them to germinate. He also tended the many yuzu trees that he had planted in various places around Nerima, but that's a whole other story. Ranma hated pruning them because of their thorns, but realized after the first crop came in that their fruit brought in very good prices from the numerous yatai owners who liked to make their own ponzu sauce. Custom made ponzu helped them sell their foods to the public -- or so they thought.

Konbini are small, but they carry nearly everything you can imagine, from pet foods to shoe polish. If you want something quick and easy to eat, a konbini is just your ticket, so Onna-Ranma paid his first visit to a konbini he had noticed on the first day had walked to Yakkusu's barn complex. He never asked where the old man lived, he had always just met him at the building where he stored all his tools and equimpment. He wondered about that as he walked into the store.

Once inside, Onna-Ranma saw that the place was immaculate as most self-respecting konbini are. He bought a half-dozen onigiri _(pyramidal shaped rice balls with a filling and wrapped in an edible seaweed)_ , a quart of orange juice and then made his way to a nearby bus stand to eat his breakfast. Given that he was in his cursed form, he was craving sweets, so two of the onigiri were filled with the sweetened adzuki bean paste that all Japanese love.

Onna-Ranma was just about to take a bite out of the first of the onigiri with a sweet filling when a bus pulled up and the door opened. No one got on or off. A streak of ginger with white stripes shot down the steps anad into the bus stand. Then, he heard the thing speak.

“Wong!” It cried. “Wong, wong wong!”

Then it began to clatter like a bunch of ill fitted wooden cogs. Saotome froze as still as a bronze statue, unable to move. He had seen some large housecats, but this one was a veritable monster and it was stropping his ankles, circling and weaving in an out between his ankles and lower legs, almost as though it had found its long lost owner. Saotome very nearly tripped off into the nekoken.

* * *

Throgmorton waited patiently for the bus to reach the right stop. He was eager to get at the bowl of scraps that Ukyou had left out for him. He loved Ukyou; he loved her food and, he even liked Konatsu, which was rare because Throgmorton seldom liked any human. He either loved them or he hated them, but then, he would never allow any human to take overt liberties with him, whether or not he favored them at all. He was the kind of critter who prided himself on his independence and never hesitated to show it.

The bus stopped and it was the right stop. Throgmorton bolted for the front of the bus. The driver, knowing Throgmorton well, had already opened the door. Throgmorton shot out the door landing on the bench in the bus stand, but was startled at who he found sitting on it. His instincts told him that this young creature, currently female, was his ride back to his original home and master. Throgmorton was delighted to see this particular human so he proceeded to show it the affection it deserved, completely unaware of the effect his actions had on the poor thing.

It had been a very long time since Throgmorton had left in search of the Queen o' Rats. He had yet to find her. His mission was to kill her and all her litter, otherwise a terrible new plague would arise in this world then spread across all the other related worlds like a wildfire, wiping out human kind everywhere it established itself, perhaps even the civilizations in Series One, the most technologically advanced of all human realms, would be completely destroyed.

This, of course, would have exceedingly dire consequences for the ecologies of every last series of the Related Worlds. The impact on the pet felines would be irreversible. It was Throgmorton's duty to prevent the plague from starting, and he would, as quickly as he found this first sow of this new breed of super rat.

* * *

Onna-Ranma stayed stuck to the bench as though the pouring water around him had frozen solid. Every muscle in his body screamed from the tension in it. He was trapped between his flight or fight reflexes. Unable to move at all. His eyes were the size of tea saucers and his otherwise brown face had faded into a sickly pallor with a few freckles scattered across his nose. He remained in this state for almost half an hour until some old enemies showed up.

“Well, looky here, guys!” The largest of them exclaimed in an excited voice. His nose was bent to one side from his last encounter with Ranma's guy side. “It's the Saotome bitch and she's frozen with fear. Ain't-cha, Saotome?”

Ranma was unable to respond. As much as he wanted to bash the dude's ugly face, that huge thing was rubbing itself against his ankles and he dared not disturb it. All Onna-Ranma could do was to squeak, “Nek...”

“Yeah, it's deathly afraid of cats, ain't it?” Another of the five said, as he leered at Onna-Ranma's curvaceous body. This one had a cast on his left hand where Onna-Ranma had twisted it nearly off at the wrist. He had gotten handsy with Ranma's girl type. “Too bad he's stuck in his girl form, right guys?”  
“Nah, I ain't ever had no pussy offen' a guy,” a third one said. “Looks like I'm about to get my money's worth out of this asshole today.”

Ranma had stamped a mud hole in this creep. He had been robbing little girls of their lunch money. It had taken the boy months to recover from the beating that he had received from the aqua-transsexual Saotome.

“Asshole and pussy!” A fourth creep shouted.

“Yeah, pussy and asshole! Let's take 'im somewhere so that we can bend 'im over. Any a you guys got some wasarin?”

“I'll go getta big jar at the konbini!” One of the boys shouted. As he splish-splish-spished across the street in a hard sprint. He did not bother to check the traffic and, to tell the truth, conditions were so bad that such precautions were unnecessary. It was dark and pouring down rain. A car or bus would have been heard long before it would be seen, even with its headlights on.

The young thugs lacked a clue about the danger they were in. They believed that Ranma's brain was frozen with fear and they were right in a way, but in another way they were dead wrong. Ranma's mind was now on the verge of what Zen Buddhists refer to as the “mind of no mind.” It is the state of mind in which the feral part of the brain seizes control of one's body and takes over all action, and if one has trained sufficiently, one may draw on that training in full without a single thought between recalling it from memory and putting one's body into motion.

Ranma had been through years of training, not to mention having been put into a pit of starving cats with sausages around his neck. Genma had forced him to endure this treatment repeatedly, until Ranma had accidently achieved the state of mind-of-no-mind, for that is what the Nekoken, or Cat Fist, actually is. Achieving the state of mind-of-no-mind. All fear vanishes. All sense of self disappears. All that remains is the ability to act and to act faster than a person in a normal state of mind can react.

The achievements possible when one in this state of mind are enormous. It is this state of mind one must use to work with one's ki, so these completely untrained thugs did not have a clue about the danger they were in. They were completely oblivious of the power that they were about to unleash.

Genma, secretly a Yamabushi, had himself been put through a terrible regimine of training as a young boy. He had used his imagination to go well beyond his own training for his son. He had in fact, crossed the line more than once and had violated the laws against child abuse to make Ranma a more powerful martial artist. And, surprise, surprise, Genma's dunderheaded attempts really worked.

Ranma had fought many a battle since he had fallen into that spring. He had also learned a great many more powerful techniques than he knew prior to having fallen into it. Now, he was on the verge of giving up all direct control of those hard-earned techniques and was about to unleash them without any direct mental control on this group of thugs.

Fortunately for this mixed group of young twenty-somethings and teenagers, Throgmorton was there to intervene for them. Not favorably mind you, but he at least saved them from the wrath of Ramma in the full blown state of the Nekoken. Not that there is that much difference between an angry Asheth Temple cat and a person in the Nekoken.

As the first young thug reached out to grab Onna-Ranma by Nabiki's red riding hood, Throgmorton cried out a warning.

“Wong!”

“Wha...?”

“Wong, wong-wong-wong, WONG!”

Throgmorton turned into a whirling ginger-and-white cloud as he sprouted seven legs and three heads, all of which were filled with razor sharp teeth and claws. He zipped up the front of the young man and down his back before the young ruffian could even blink. By the time the boy's nerves told him that his skin was now reduced to bloody ribbons, Throgmorton had moved on to the next nearest thug in the bunch. He finished giving the second boy the same treatment and had moved on to the third in a flash.

The screams of the Throgmorton's third victim snapped Onna-Ranma out of his frozen state, much to the detriment of all thugs present.

“Come on, guys!” Onna-Ranma shouted in his high pitched, chimpanzee-like voice he used whenever he was in his cursed form and angry. “I thought you were here for some boy-pussy, not a tomcat!”

There was plenty of hot ki around and Ranma had a cold hard grin on his face. His stormy blue eyes glittered like two sapphires in the greyish light has he got up off the bench and launched himself into the spiral stepping techinique.

“I'm here...” Ranma shouted as he slammed one of the thugs into the pavement, “to put out...” another thug bit out a chunk of concrete as Onna-Ranma continued his dance into the spiral of storm and death, “...if you're man enough to take it!”

Onna-Ranma was immensely satisfied. The hot ki around was now in a definite spiral shape, all he needed to do was to release a burst of cold ki.

“Hiryu shoten-ha!” Onna-Ranma howled as the dance of Saint Elmo's fire and ball lightning began to flicker. The winds rose around him, picking up the lighther loose objects: soggy paper, lost shoes, sundry items of lost clothing...then the wind's velocity increased suddenly as it began coiling around the dark shaft of cold ki that Onna-Ranma had just shot into the already stormy sky. Things got very nasty very quickly. A tornado formed around him, picking up the unconsious thugs lying about on the streets and sidewalks, then the very last of them came running out of the konbini.

“I got the wasari-i-i-n!” He screamed as the tornado snatched him up off the ground and into the dark clouds over head.

Onna-Ranma watched the last thug vanish into the raging mists, glanced down at the spinning jar of petroleum jelly that the thug dropped, and gave out a cold laugh, something he almost never did. Onna-Ranma saw the artificial storm picking up Throgmorton and plucked him out of the air by the scruff of his neck.

“Not you, Tora,” Onna-Ranma said tucking the big cat under Nabiki's riding hood. “You're comin' with me. It's gonna start rainin' thugs just any second now.”

Throgmorton was pleased. He had found his ride home. Now all he needed to do was to find and kill Queen Rat and her litter. As Onna-Ranma carried him away safely inside Nabiki's riding hood, thugs began splashing down in their wake. Neither Onna-Ranma nor Throgmorton paid any attention to them or their wretched condition. The thugs would have to wait until someone called an ambulance for them.

* * *

Nabiki went back to bed after Ranma left. She was not about to get out in that kind of rain. Sure, she worked at the local farmer's market taking inventory of everything that came in and she also took inventory after the market closed at noon, but she knew that almost no one would arrive until the downpour let up. Besides, having Ranma make love to her in his male form always tired her out. She needed at least an hour of sleep.

Nabiki had graduated the same year as Akane had ascended and then started attending Tokyo University. She was surprised to learn that there was nothing to college and that it was boring. Japanese teens work hard while in high school, then once they turn into twenty-somethings, they treat college as though it was nothing more than an extended vacation, and Nabiki wanted nothing to do with sloth. She had rather have been out making money -- and placating the Gods because they were well and truly annoyed with her.

She dropped out of university just as the first semester ended and started keeping books for Yakkusu and Ranma was well as several other small businesses in Nerima. Her nimble mind and quick wit found numerous ways to legally avoid paying taxes and then some. She found the “then some” tempting, but refrained from indulging in them. After all, she did not want to get her clients into any trouble with the tax collectors.

_Besides, it wouldn't do for Ranma to have to break my ass out of jail to take me with him when he got his first heavenly chore, now would it?_ Nabiki thought, and then moved on with her business as though the temptation to cheat the taxmen never crossed her mind.

However, her cunning caused a sudden increase in the savings rate in Nerima. Everyone became just a wee bit more prospersous than they had been, and that was saying something, given the Japanese economy's slide into zombie-ville.

Nabiki also wanted to kiss up to the local Pantheon. She undestood that after it was all said and done, she, Ranma and Kasumi would all be living under the eyes and influences of the local Deities. It would not do for her to leave Them offended. She began going well out of her way to visit nearby shrines and study local religious lore and customs. She even considered becoming a shrine maiden.

Her new behavior puzzled many of the people who had known her in high school. She ran into one of old friends from high school at the farmer's market later that day.

“Since when did you become so religious, O Queen of the Frosts?” Her old running buddy asked. “You never showed any interest in anything remotely mystical while we were in school together.”

Nabiki felt heat rise into her cheeks at that question. _Telling the truth about the Gods is my penitence,_ Nabiki thought. _It was me who loudly proclaimed Their non-existence in public. Now I have to do the opposite._

“Yeah, well that was before the Gods charged me with hubris.”

The girl did a double take.

“The Kami...hubris...What on earth are you talking about, Nabiki-chan?”

“It actually happened!” Nabiki exclaimed. “You can ask Ranma next time you see him. He was right there with me. The Gods formally accused me of having hubris. They wanted to put me a trial so, I demanded a change of venue.”

The girl's jaw sagged as her eyes glazed over. “A change of...venue, huh?”

Nabiki silently nodded her head.

“Did they give you one?”

Nabiki nodded her head again.

“So how did you get tried?”“I was tried by the Greek Pantheon. Zeus sort of put me on a kind of probation.”

“The Greek...” the girl managed to sqeak out.

“Yeah, and don't say that They don't exist because They do!”

“And so now you're on probation, is that it?”

“Of a sort, yes.”

“You guys sure get tangled up in some strange stuff. Where was Akane when all this happened.”  
“Oh, she ascended to heaven,” Nabiki said, with a choke in her voice. “She died one too many times in China.”

Now the girl looked well and truly distressed. In fact, she was on the verge of panic, as though she were dealing with a lunatic. Watching her, Nabiki could almost hear the gears grinding in the girl's head.

_There's no telling what must be going through her mind_ _by now,_ Nabiki thought. _She want_ _s to get away from me as quickly as possible._

“Akane died one time too many?” The girl managed to choke out. “How did that happen?”

“The people of Pheonix Mountain threw here into a blank spring at Jusenkyou where she drowned. You know what a hammer she's always been. Never did pass her swimming test at school. Couldn't float if her life depended on it. Well, this time it really did and she drowned.”

“That's funny, I thought I saw her stamping down the sidewalk here the other day.”

“That had to have been someone who has fallen into the Spring-of-Drowned-Akane,” Nabiki said firmly. “Akane ascended almost two years ago now.”

This brought the girl up very short. Everyone in Nerima knew about Jusenkyou and its victims. Most of them had seen its effects up close and personal -- especially Ranma and his father.

“I see, so that was the intent of the Pheonix people, to make a Spring-of-Drowned-Akane, but why?”

“So that one of them could get close enough to Ranma to steal a very powerful magical device called the kinjakan from him.”

“And they succeeded, right?”

Nabiki nodded her head. “Only Ramma was suspicious of her because she willingly took a bath with him, but that didn't matter. She took the thing and then turned back into her natural winged form and flew away with it.”

This had so many improbable implications that the girl wanted to find out something very mundane to talk about.

“So where's Kasumi? No one has seen her for months.”

“Oh, she's having a fling with the God Hermes,” Nabiki said. “She promised that she would be back in a day, but she's been gone since the day after Akane ascended. We haven't heard a peep from her.”

The girl's jaw sagged once again and she shook her head -- hard.

“I see, I am so sorry for your losses, Nabiki-chan. What about Ranma, his dad and your father?”

“Oh, Ranma and I are getting along quite well. His dad moved back over to his old house in Itabashi. He had to rebuild it, you know. He and Ranma's mother were living with us until it was completed. But the real news is that my Dad has moved in with Hinako-sensei.”

“He has!” The girl screamed. “No wonder she hasn't drained my little brother for the last several months.”

“Yeah, I think she must be getting all the ki she needs from a hole that isn't in a coin.”

Nabiki's old chum burst out laughing. “I can just imagine. Is he happy, your dad, I mean.”

“He's in his late forties and he's shacked up with a girl in her late twenties. What do you think?”

The two of them had a great cackle over that one.

“I think that you will soon have another younger sibling, Nabiki-chan.”

“Yeah, I look for that just any day now,” Nabiki said. “I haven't seen Dad this happy since Uncle Genma arrived here with Ranma.”

“So, tell me, how's Ranma in bed?”

Nabiki rolled her eyes. “He's magnificent! I didn't think that I would ever get him into bed there for a while. He felt guilty because everytime he would look at me, he would think about Akane, but I finally wore him down. Now, I have to beg him to stop at some point during our fourth or fifth round.”

“You go at it that many times?”

Nabiki nodded her head. “More if we start out with him being a girl.”

The girl positively howled at this. “Leave it to you, Nabiki. You always were the kinkiest bitch in our class.”

“I was, wasn't I? I guess maybe I still am.”  
The girl seized both of Nabiki's hands and shook her head.

“It has been a hoot catching up with you, Nabiki-chan, but I've gotta get moving or my old man will not be happy with me. He gets upset if he comes home and I don't have supper on the table.”

“Give me your phone number!” Nabiki exclaimed. “We've got more catching up to do.”

They exchanged cards and went on about their business.

* * *

The afternoon of that day turned off clear to partly cloudy. It was what the Japanese think of fox weather, chilly with rain and sunshine. Whenever it rains and with intermittent sun, the Sacred Foxes hold their marriage ceremonies and, very often, strange things happen to ordinary people, just as it had to Akane. The weather gave Nabiki the creeps despite the numerous and colorful rainbows in view. She hurried home to prepare for shabu-shabu, a meal that each diner cooks for himself at the table.

Shabu-shabu is a very popular meal during the winter months. Primarily because it calls for raw meat and vegetables at the table and there are no flies buzzing about, but also because it encourages romance, and it is very easy to have romance when you are cold and need to cuddle with someone. Nabiki shivered with anticipation and from the cold at one and the same time.

She had a luggage dolly that she had an artisan replace its tiny wheels with larger ones so that it would be useful on the streets and sidewalks outside the airport. She had all the makings for dinner on it. Thinly sliced Yonezawa beef _(also known as Kobe_ _beef_ _but from a different prefecture)_ , pork belly, plus a Spanish mackerel which she planned to cut up herself once she got home. The meats needed to be sliced on a machine made for the job, but the fish could be sliced into paper thin slices at home if you were good with a knife, and Nabiki had been good with a knife since age four. Soun and started his daughters out early in the martial arts, but only Akane had stuck with it as a teenager.

Nabiki had taken up the Art again with Ranma's happy encouragement, once the two of them had become lovers. She still was not sure that she wanted to marry. That, after all, meant children and she was not all that sure that she wanted a child of her own. She would, however, happily accept the job as an aunt prone to spoiling her nieces and nephews. She wanted to wait for Kasumi to return so that they could discuss the matter. Akane meant for both of them to have Ranma, not just Nabiki herself, but the matter would have to be discussed with Kasumi. Nabiki needed to know how Kasumi felt before taking Ranma off the market -- as much off the market as Ranma would allow, anyway. She had a hunch that he would soon be severely tempted -- by the Goddess Enyo -- if no one else.

_But who knows?_ Nabiki thought. _Entire pantheons are captivated by Ranma. I wonder if one of the Gods is not already in lust with his cursed form? Even I enjoy taking care of the little red head. She's a screamer. I love making the mighty Saotome Ranma scream and whimper like a little girl._

Nabiki shivered again, this time purely from anticipation of the night to come.

* * *

“Tadiama!” Onna-Ranma shouted in his feminine voice. _(I'm home!)_

Nabiki heard the scraping noises of him taking off his shoes in the genkan _(foyer)_.

“How did it go today, Ranma?” Nabiki called out.

“Rough!” He shouted back. “I think we must have sharpened every edged tool Yakkusu owns.”

“Oh, really?” Nabiki asked. “Sounds tedious.”

Onna-Ranma staggered into the chanoma _(dining/living room)_ with something under Nabiki's riding hood.

“What are you carrying?” Nabiki asked. “What ever it is, it stinks!”

“You ain't gonna believe it, Nabiki-chan,” Onna-Ranma said, and then extended his arm. Throgmorton clinging to it with all four paws and had his chin resting on Onna-Ranma's left palm.

Nabiki immediately jumped back.

_All hell is about to break loose and I am entirely too close to Ranma,_ she thought, but then realized that Ranma should not be behaving the way he was. _He's not in the nekoken! What the fuck?_

It's a very large and smelly house cat, Ranma,” Nabiki said in a fearful voice. “Why haven't you fallen into the nekoken?”

Ranma explained what had happened at the bus stand early that morning.

“I would have paid ten-thousand yen to have seen their faces, especially the one who came out of the konbini with the waserin,” Nabiki said.

“I think that this is the cat that Ukyou calls the 'Mougyuuneko,' but I decided to call him Tora,” Onna-Ranma said, stroking the cat.

Nabiki shook her head in disbelief.

_I simply cannot believe what I'm seeing here. He should be in the nekoken, but he's petting that smelly cat as though it were a long lost friend,_ Nabiki thought. _I wonder if this isn't the sign from the Gods that I've been waiting for?_

“What are we havin' for supper, Nabiki-chan?” Onna-Ranma asked while he and Throgmorton rubbed noses.

“I prepared shabu-shabu for two,” Nabiki said. “I thought we might have a nice quiet romantic dinner, but you brought some very unexpected company home.”

Onna-Ranma looked horror struck.

“I'm sorry, Nabiki-chan,” Onna-Ranma squeaked out as he dropped Throgmorton and put his hands together beneath his chin then began fiddling with the ragged end of his queue, much like he did when he first arrived at Tendo-ke. “I had no idea.”

“What in the name of all that is holy did you do to your hands?” Nabiki all but screamed.

“I got all these cuts tryin' ta sharpen Yakkusu's shit,” Onna-Ranma said. “I guess I should've put on gloves the way Yakkusu told me to.”

“Oh -- and -- let's see, Yakkusu farms organically, right?”

“Yeah, well he doesn't like buyin' fertilizer. He does use it once in a great while...”

“But most of the time he uses some sort of dung, right?”

“Well, yeah...”

“Well, nothing! You take your cat and go bathe both of you!” Nabiki ordered, her frustration was making her face hot. “Then I'll clean and dress all those cuts.”

“I..er...”

“Go! Now!” Nabiki shouted. “You're eating up the clock. We'll be up all night just taking care of your wounds and eating.”

“Okay,” Onna-Ranma said as he seized Throgmorton. “I don't know about bathing Tora, though.”

“He either gets a bath, or he goes outside!” Nabiki said, crossing her arms beneath her breasts. “He stinks to high heaven.”

Nabiki stood there watching Onna-Ranma head for the furoba. She really liked his heart shaped little bottom when he was in his girl form, and she deeply appreciated his firm and very male ass when he was not cursed, and despite her frustration, she was not about to pass up an opportunity to lust after Ranma's physical form.

_It's funny,_ Nabiki thought. _I can't seem to avoid staring at him when he's in his cursed form. He is every bit as delectable when he's a girl as he is when he's male._

“Oh, shit! Nabiki exclaimed as she rushed into the kitchen. “I nearly forgot the broth. The konbu will be so strong that it will overwhelm everything else.” _(Konbu is a variety of kelp that is_ _simmered_ _to make the_ _initial_ _broth for shabu-shabu.)_

* * *

Throgmorton remained calm when Onna-Ranma doused him with water from the sprayer head in the furoba. He even gave out his rattling purr when Onna-Ranma soaped him up into a large glob of foam, but then right after Onna-Ranma rinsed the suds out of his fur, he bolted.

He never hesitated when he reached the door; he just passed through it as though it were nothing at all, which can only be done by very powerful felines born in the Temple of Asheth. Once in the dressing room, he siezed the corner of a towel in his teath and pulled it through the next door into the chanoma.

Nabiki was sitting at the table warming her with her hands and feet under the skirts of the table so that the kotatsu could warm them. _(A kotatsu is a heater that is mounted on the underside of the low tables used as dining tables in Japan. The older kotatsu were fueled by kerosene, but the slightly more modern ones use propane_ _while the_ _very latest_ _models_ _use electricity._ _This one plugged into the wall._ _)_

“Wong,” Throgmorton sounded. “Wong, wong.”

“Oh, wong yourself you sly old tom,” Nabiki said. “Come here and I'll dry you off.”

Throgmorton began to rattle like ill-fitting wooden cogs as he settled down next to Nabiki and began licking his forepaws.

_This is my ride's mate,_ Throgmorton thought. _Must take care of her or he will not carry me anywhere._

“I'll bet your fur will be very fluffy once you're dry, Tora,” Nabiki said, taking the towel and rubbing both of Throgmorton's sides with it.

Throgmorton simply rattled louder in response.

“Next time I'll have Saotome rub some cream rinse on you,” Nabiki said with a warm smile. “That'll soften up your coat and make it shiny.”

Throgmorton continued his rattling purr and allowed Nabiki to dry him all over. Then, once she was finished, he crawled up into her lap and she started tickling his belly. He liked that.

“The Gods must have sent you,” Nabiki said, sounding speculative. “Ranma has never taken up with a cat before. Mormally, cats frighten him into becoming a form of a very angry cat.”

Throgmorton change the note of his purr slightly.

“No, his body doesn't change, but his posture and behavior become furiously feline. I think that one time he actually sprouted an extra arm or two.”

“Wong?” Throgmorton sounded.

“Yes, I really do believe that he does.”

“What are you two up to?” Ranma asked, surprising Nabiki. He had come out of the furoba in his warmest pajamas and stocking feet and had made no audible sound at all.

“We were talking about _your_ sorry ass, Saotome,” Nabiki said with an evil grin. “What did you expect?”

“I expected you two to be up to no good,” Ranma said with an affectionate smile in return. “I always bring out the worst in you, don't I?”

Nabiki sighed and stared up at the ceiling before answering, “Yes, you do. You make me so horny I could just scream.”

“Move the cat and I'll pet your pussy.”

“Let's eat first, then I'll clean your cuts,” Nabiki said. “The stock is ready and getting stronger and stronger by the minute.”

“Sounds like a deal to me,” Ranma answered over his shoulder as he walked toward the kitchen. “I'll bring out the food.”

“Don't forget the Spanish mackerel.”

“Sawara?”

“I know that it's not traditional,” Nabiki said, “but it's in season and they were having a sale on them so I bought one.” _(Sawara, or Spanish mackerel, is considered a delicacy in Japan and it is almost always eaten raw in small_ _pieces with vinegared rice or sushi_ _.)_

“Oh, good!” Ranma exclaimed as he walked into the kitchen. He came out with the broth pot and table-sized gas burner first, then went back in for the vegetables and mushrooms, of which there were many. Then he brought the beef, the pork and the sawara slices, and that drove Throgmorton nuts.

“Wong!” The cat cried. “Wong!”

Ranma picked up a slice of beef with his chopsticks and gave it to Throgmorton. “Here ya go, Tora. Go eat and have fun.”

Throgmorton seemed to vanish, but he had run through the large wooden doors that separated the chanoma from the engawa. _(An engawa is the traditional covered porch the runs the length of an Edo period house in Japan. They are always on the private side of the house and they have large sliding doors that can be slid open during warm weather -- or whenever the house seems to need fresh air.)_

Nabiki smacked Ranma on his shoulder. “Don't give that to a cat! Do you have any idea what that grade of beef costs?”

“You'd rather I give 'im the sawara?”

This brought Nabiki up short. She took a bowl and filled it with rice. “You could have given him a piece of the pork. It's cheap.”

“Nothin' but the best for Tora,” Ranma said. “He saved my ass this mornin'.”

By then, Nabiki had the other bowl full of rice. She set it down on the table, reached across and grabbed Ranma's penis.

“Nothing but the best, huh?” She asked. “You gonna feed me some meat later?”

Ranma grinned as he picked up a slice of beef and swished it around in the hot broth. Nabiki felt his penis begin to stiffen.

Shabu-shabu consists of a hot broth, meat sliced so thinly that it takes mere seconds of being swished around in the broth that the meat is cooked through. Once the meat is done, the diner then sets on his rice to let it drain and then eats it. Ranma set this piece of meat on his rice, then fed it to Nabiki. She felt her face turn ecstatic.

“You'll want that sausage to last a long time, ya know,” Ranma said.

Nabiki gave him a pout and stopped playing with his penis. “The cat's gone, in case you failed to notice...Where did he go?”

“He ran out onto the engawa, I think.”

Nabiki stroked Ranma's inner thigh as she stared at the heavy wooden doors. “Through those? They're not open.”

“Yeah, well, he managed to get out of the furoba and datsuishitsu without any help,” Ranma said. “I don't if he can walk through walls, but he can certainly walk through unopened doors.” _(Datsuishitsu is what the Japanese call their changing rooms.)_

“So, Tora has passed through three doors tonight with something in his mouth, right?”

Ranma shrugged his shoulders. “I guess so.”

“He has to have been sent here by the Gods.”

“Probably, but I think he's here on a mission of his own.”

“How can you know that?” Nabiki asked.

“After you watch him for a few minutes you start gettin' these weird impressions from him.”

“So, you've been reading the mind of a cat,” Nabiki said in a skeptical voice.

“Nabiki-chan, you and I have been to two different heavens. Where d'ya wanna go next? Purgatory and hell?” _(Heaven in Japanese is “Tengoku,”_ _or the “land of the Gods,”_ _often called “the Kami plane” in fanfiction. Purgatory is “_ _Meido_ _,” or “the_ _jail_ _of refinement” and hell is “_ _J_ _igoku,” or “the land of punishment.”)_

Panic stabbed Nabiki's heart.

“Ah, no,” Nabiki answered quickly, “I'd rather read the mind of a cat.”

“Good girl,” Ranma said in a dry tone patted her knee. “I thought you might.”

“Okay, I'm starting to get an impression already,” Nabiki said.  
“Oh, yeah? What's he thinkin' about?”

“He's thinking that he will leave us alone for the rest of the night,” Nabiki said, “or at least he had better be thinking that.”

Ranma laughed and gave her a hug. She let go of his inner thigh and started putting vegetables in the broth. Later, after the broth had absorbed the flavors of the meats, they would turn it into soup. All in all, shabu-shabu is a very good meal for a couple who are romantically involved. They get to feed one another and cuddle throughout the meal and then they can have a second meal the next day.

“Nabiki, ya already owe Tora a big one, ya know.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, he's the reason that Cologne pulled up stakes and went back to China.”

“How did a cat manage that?”

“He knocked up Shampoo's cursed form -- or at least that's what Konatsu told me.”

This took Nabiki aback. She sat there working her mouth for a few minutes before uttering some semi-intelligible words.

“He what?”

“According to Konatsu, Tora got Shampoo's feline form pregnant.”

“So he's not just a seducer, he's a rapist?”

“I dunno, from the way Konatsu told it, Neko-Shampoo invited him.”

“Little wonder about that,” Nabiki said. “Shampoo was one big walking hormone right through that disaster of a wedding that you and Akane had.”

Ranma grimaced.

_He hates being reminded of that botched wedding,_ Nabiki thought. _Dad and Genma tried to force him to a formal Japanese marriage before the people of Phoenix Mountain made their presence known. The second attempt_ _brings back_ _even worse_ _memories of Akane. All that squabbling they did and all the names they called each other. He even accused her of being wanton once. Of course, I instigated a lot of it, but I did not think that the two of them were actually ready to get married at that time. Akane simply was not ready to have sex with a guy and he was still in bad emotional shape. Both of them were still suffering from the privations of that impromptu trip to China. They were underweight and stressed out to the point of having_ _PTSD_ _. Time to change his focus._

“Are you sure it wasn't you who knocked Shampoo up?” Nabiki asked with a sly grin. “She was terribly sexy and really wanted to jump your bones.”

Ranma shuddered. “You didn't see her behavior while we were in China. She actually threatened to break Akane's head off if I didn't fuck her.”

“But wasn't she under some kind of spell that compelled her actions at the time?”

“Surikomi eggs make you a slave of the first person you see after you hatch out of 'em,” Ranma said. “Shampoo was under the control of Kiima and Kiima never told her to do nothin' like that. Shampoo pulled that stupid stunt simply because she thought she could get away with it.”

“Okay, now I see, but don't try to tell me you were never tempted.”

Ranma heaved a great sigh.

“I was never as tempted as you seem to think I was. She started off doing her best to kill me, and then, after she finally found out that I was really a guy, she wanted to marry me. Then, she started threatenin' Akane's life callin' her an obstacle. She wasn't kidding about any of that. What always scared me is that she was perfectly capable of carryin' out her threats. Physically, she is scary strong and highly skilled to boot.”

“And, she was chasing you with slobbering pussy lips,” Nabiki said, elbowing Ranma in the ribs, “and I can't blame her for that. I got wet everytime I watched you fight.”

“Kodachi is just as bad,” Ranma said. “D'ya blame her? And, what about her brother? He gets a hard on everytime he sees my girl half.”

“Kodachi? No, not really,” Nabiki said. “Even a nutcase like her can tell sexy when she sees it. And as for Tatewaki, who can blame him? Your girl-half is gorgeous enough to turn me on and he's some kind of sick hornytoad. What about Ukyou?”

“I just cain't work up any interest in her that way,” Ranma said sounding glum. “When we were kids together, I thought that she was a boy. I'm happy for her now that she has Konatsu.”

“And you never got over the fact that you were confused about her sex when you two first met,” Nabiki said sounding doubtful.

“No, I never have, even after I jerked her shirt open so that Ryoga could see her breasts. Before that, I poured hot water on her thinkin' that she had the same sorta curse I suffer from, remember?”

“I never knew about that, Ranma,” Nabiki said laughing out loud. “I would have paid to have seen it though.”

“She hit me over the head with a great big balance beam for doin' that.”

Nabiki laughed even harder. “She must've thought you had gone crazy.”

Ranma's mouth turned grim and he remained silent, which only made Nabiki laugh some more. Ranma resorted to grabbing her by both breasts and pressing her back onto the tatami to make her stop. They kissed for a while, but turned their full attention to the shabu-shabu once both their tummies rumbled. All said and done, it turned out to be a very, very good evening.

* * *

Early the next morning, Ranma set off for his day's work with Yakkusu and did so every day for the next three years. Life at Tendo-ke settled into the dull routine that is the lot of nearly everyon who works in agriculture.

There are some schools of thought that have reasoned that the only reason that wars begin is to put an end to the stifling routine that grows out of a doing the same thing over and over and over. People tire of doing the same old thing day in and day out. However, ending the dull routine with the horror of war is hardly a rational act. Nabiki was nothing if not rational.

To relieve the boredom, she took up the study of religions as a pastime. Within a week she discovered that all the older religions, such as Shinto, were structured around agriculture. Their major festivals occured at the points in time that were important to the production of food. There was a Shinto festival that coincided with the planting season, another one in midsummer and yet another during the harvest season. Shinto had a midwinter festival, presumably to cheer up its worshipers during the long wet winters of Japan. Whereas the more abstract religions, like Buddhism and Christianity, were not as oriented toward agricultural pursuits and had much more appeal for city dwellers.

_No wonder we_ _Japanese_ _ended up with a hybrid religion,_ Nabiki thought once she discovered this fact. _Shinbutsu-shuugou_ _is a blend of Shinto and Buddhism to cover the needs of both segments of our population. Japan has huge cities fed by tiny farms owned by individual families,_ _two groups with differing social and spiritual needs._ _Buddhism and Shinto together make the perfect blend for us._

Nabiki continued her studies, especially of the Greek mythology. Over the succeeding months she became almost as familiar with the Gods of the Greek Pantheon as she was with the numerous Kami of the Japanese Pantheon. There were so many similar Deities between the two religions that she tended to confuse the details and had to struggle to keep them separate.

Take the Kami Inari for instance. She was female for most of the time whenever farmers and merchants worshiped at Her shrines, but whenever the blacksmiths and other such industrialists worshiped at a shrine devoted to Inari, She turned into a male Kami. She was a Japanese Demeter, Hermes and Hephaestus all rolled into a single Kami. In fact the shrines devoted to Inari all had multiple places for its worshipers to pray, depending on what they needed. The Kami of Japan had the annoying habit of having overlapping responsibilities. It was that feature alone that had put Nabiki off of religion altogether -- much to her chagrin.

One morning Nabiki slept late. She and Ranma had enjoyed a very long and very pleasant bout of lovemaking that night and Nabiki could barely open her eyes when Ranma got up to go work Yakkusu's fields. She lazed about on the futon for an hour or so, but then the large flock of crows outside her window became so noisy that she could not fall back into sleep.

With a sigh of pure aggravation Nabiki got up, gathered her day clothes and went downstairs to the furoba. Exercising the usual Tendo self-discipline, she showered with unheated tap water. Once she was rinsed off, she happily crawled into the heated tub, luxuraiting in its heat, but all too briefly. She had to leave for her job at the farmer's market.

Despite her not staying in the furoba as long as she wanted, she was almost late to get to the market that morning and as she hurried out of the furoba, she found a woman in her early forties standing in front of the dining table, staring down at it.

_Kasumi is home at last,_ Nabiki thought, until the woman turned round so that she could see her face. The woman's face was as serene as Kasumi's but she was not Kasumi. Nabiki did not know her from Adam.

“Who are you and what are you doing in my house?” Nabiki shouted.

“That is not a good way for you to address one of your betters, young lady!” The woman answered, sounding offended.

Nabiki ran into the kitchen and then emerged with a small deba _(a knife used to cut fish flesh into thin slices)_ and then tried to jam it between the lady's ribs. Much to her surprise, the doors on the engawa slid open and Nabiki found herself sailing through the air, only to bounce off the huge piece of granite her father had spent a fortune on and then landed in the koi pond.

Nabiki, for the very first time, became intimately acquainted with the koi. This disoriented Nabiki. She did not quite realize what had happened. She simply assumed that the woman was well versed in the martial arts.

_Now I know why Ranma hates this pond the way he does,_ Nabiki thought. _The_ _smell of the_ _water_ _could gag a maggot on a gut wagon_ _._

She sprang up out of the water and glowered at the unknown intruder.

“You!” Nabiki cried out. “Get out of my house!”

The mysterious woman answered with a grimace. “If a facial expressions were serviceable weapons, I would be in flames right now. Fortunately for me and unfortunately for you, that sort of thing is completely ineffective.”

And then the attractive forty-something cupped her hand and made a rising motion with it. The water in the pond rose up around Nabiki. The woman saw this and turned her hand sideways and made a fist. The water immediately froze solid around Nabiki.

_Oh, shit!_ Nabiki thought. _She must be a Goddess. Now I am in deep dark_ _do-do_ _._

“You claim to be the owner of this domicile, but that simply is not true, Tendo Nabiki.” Nabiki could not hear a word. Her ears were clogged with ice. The Goddess was speaking directly to Nabiki's brain. “It will belong to your elder sister, Kasumi, after your father passes on. I suppose you decided that you would never see her again, didn't you?”

Nabiki was unable to make an audible answer. She could not even make her teeth chatter because the ice held her stock still, much like a fly trapped in hardened amber.

_I did know that,_ Nabiki thought. _Ranma and Akane were to carry on the combined schools, but there was never any real property in that deal, so far as I know. Genma may have been expecting that to happen, but I knew better. I just hope this Goddess will have mercy on me and release from this ice before I die._

“Your prayer has been heard, Tendo-san,” the woman said with a warm smile. The ice melted back into slightly green water. “Had I left you there for another hour you would have died from hypothermia.”

“What about my fathers koi?” Nabiki asked as she bowed her head. “He paid a great deal of money for them.”

“Don't worry,” the woman said. “Koi can survive for a long time in a flash frozen state.”

Nabiki's teeth began chattering uncontrollably. “May I at least have your name? I would like to worship you properly.”

“I am Hestia, Godess of the Hearth,” the woman replied. “I was sent here by Hermes to prepare this place for the arrival of Kasumi and his youngest child, a boy, this time.”

Nabiki opened her mouth to ask when her sister and nephew would arrive, but and invisible wall wrapped around her. It had thousands of worm like nubs that squirmed around against her clothing, removing all of it.

“Eeee!” Nabiki shrieked.

“Oh, don't be so noisy, little girl,” the woman said in a chiding tone. “I am only giving you a much needed bath.”

And with that statement, Nabiki found herself being pummeled with hot water, as though she were in a shower, or more like a carwash because the water had soap in it. Between the showering waters and the squirmy little nubs, she was quickly wrapped in a thick rich lather from head to foot.

“This shit burns my eyes!” Nabiki howled. _I'll be so happy after this stops!_

“Oh, don't be such a sissy,” the woman responded. “It will be over soon.”

And with that statement, Nabiki found herself being sprayed with fresh clear water that was very hot -- almost as hot as the water in her furo. After that, the invisible wall became a very visible terry cloth towel. It had a very wild Hawaian style pattern on it. Nabiki felt herself rise up in the air with the towel still wrapped around her. It massaged her all over, paying particular attention to her crotch.

“I do apologize for that, Tendo-san,” the woman said. “I had no idea that the towel was such a pervert. It seems to have belonged to a middle aged gentleman who suffers from a rather large number of fetishes. Had I known, I would have conjured a towel up from some other place.”

“Who owns it?” Nabiki gasped out. _I'll shit if it turns out to be the principle._

“A middle aged man by the name of Kuno, I think.”  
“That explains almost everything,” Nabiki said. “No apologies necessary, Hestia-dono. I was rude.”

“No, I was here unannounced,” Hestia replied in an amused tone. “Your reactions was perfectly natural.”

Nabiki found her feet settling on the chilly floor and she began to shiver again.

“You, towel!” The towel immediately flapped open and did its best to bow to Hestia. “Go get into the washing machine.”

The towel flew away as though it were a magic carpet, then Nabiki found herself being assaulted by an ambulatory shrine maiden's outfit.

“There,” Hestia said as the shrine maiden's clothing forced its way onto Nabiki, “that befits a nymph such as yourself,” the woman said. “Happy now?”

“I feel pretty good, actually,” Nabiki said as she strode forward a step then dropped to her knees.

“Welcome to Tendo-ke, O mighty Hestia,” Nabiki said with her forehead pressed to the smooth boards of the engawa.

“Please, _do_ get up,” the Hestia said. “I must prepare this place for the arrival of your sister and the son of Hermes. There is a great deal I must do. Besides, you have a trip to take this morning.”

“A trip?” Nabiki asked as she got to her feet. “Where am I to go?”

“To the nearest shrine of Inari, of course,” Hestia said with another smile. “It's a short distance from here if my information is accurate.”

“There is such a shrine nearby, but its a very small one.”

“Size does not matter to the likes of us Gods,” Hestia said. “Tis the consecrated ground that matters. Go to that shrine and watch for another Goddess as you approach the torii.”

“Which Goddess will she be?” Nabiki asked.

“Hecate, the Goddess of boundries, doorways, roads and travel in general.”

“Okay, but how is my sister doing?”

“Oh, she's fine,” Hestia said. “Hermes is not the easiest God to love you know, and rearing a child on Olympus, despite its glory, is a very unpleasant chore. She wants to come home as quickly as possible.”

“Oh, really?” Nabiki said. “When can we expect her and the child of Hermes to arrive?”

“Sometime next month I think,” Hestia replied and then she snapped her fingers. “We mustn't forget Kasumi's deba, must we?”

The deba that Nabiki had lost in the pond suddenly rose up out of the water and presented itself handle first to Hestia's hand.

“You are such a darling knife!” Hestia said to it.

_Okay, this gal is sure enough a domestic Goddess,_ Nabiki thought. _Kasumi is the only other one I have ever heard talk to a utensil or appliance._

“Why am I wearing this get up?” Nabiki asked.

“Because you'll need it when you enter the shrine precincts,” Hestia replied, as if Nabiki already knew what was going to happen next.

“That shrine almost never receives any visitors -- er -- not for the last decade or so, anyway.”

“Oh, you must mean that tiny old shrine over on the street of forges?” Nabiki asked. “I was thinking of another nearby shrine. They used to make all kinds of metal stuff along that road.”

“Yes, that's the shrine,” Hestia said. “It is devoted to Inari, you know.”

“What am I supposed to do there?” Nabiki asked.

“I haven't a clue,” Hestia replied. “Hecate will be there to give you further directions.”

Hestia then made something delicious smelling appear in her hand. It looked like a lump of gold colored wax. In the other hand she had a tiny glass full of bright red liquid. Its color and clarity made it look like one of the better Barolos.'

“Here eat this, you are about to be late,” Hestia said, shoving the sweet smelling lump in Nabiki's face.

Nabiki hesitated.

“Go on!” Hestia said. “This will fill you up.”

Nabiki reluctantly bit into the lump and nearly had an orgasm. She had never tasted anything so good in all her life. She slowly consumed the rest of the lump, treasuring every little nibble of it.

“And now drink this,” Hestia said, passing the tiny glass of bright red liquid to Nabiki.

Nabiki took the glass and sipped at the liquid, and then she really did have an orgasm.

_Whoa! This stuff puts a fine Barolo in the shade,_ Nabiki thought. _I have never had a wine do th_ _at_ _to me._ Then she realized that she was fully sated, felt full of zest and energy and was ready to tackle any form of work that might come her way. _I might even_ _hammer_ _on_ _some_ _red_ _hot iron today._

Hestia smiled at her and asked, “How do you feel now?”

“I feel like I'm Ranma Saotome,” Nabiki replied. “What is this stuff?”

“The liquid is the nectar of Olympus and the stuff you ate is what is known as ambrosia. Both are normally only available to the Gods.”

This froze Nabiki up.

“Am I immortal now?”

Hestia giggled. “No, not yet. You can only become immortal if Zeus wills it.”

“Guess I best get moving then,” Nabiki said. “Don't wanna keep the likes of Zeus waiting...Oh, I've got to call in. They'll be expecting me at the market today.”

“You needn't bother with that,” Hestia said. “I've arranged for a substitute to fill in for you.”

“Substitute?” Nabiki asked. “Do I need to know who that might be?”

“More like a what than a who, but you need not worry. Your substitute is more than competent enough to take care of your job.”

Hestia stuck her arm straight out toward Nabiki and made a whipping motion with it. A strange sort of garment appeared in her hand. It was made of a shiny cloth with a very, very high thread count. It had a slick satiny feel to it, but it looked as though it were made out of a metal of some kind.

“Once you see Hecate, don this garment. It will protect you from almost any kind of harm you might encounter.”

Nabiki gingerly took the garment in her hand. It shrank to the point that it fit inside her palm.

“Amazing,” Nabiki said, “this feels like a good silk cloth, but it looks like some kind of metal.”

“Think of it as mithril,” Hestia said. “It's made to my specifications by none other than Ariadne.”

“How do I make it into full size again?”

“Just think about putting it on and it will do the rest for you,” Hestia said. “Now, you had best run along. Hecate is probably already there waiting and she is not especially patient.”

Nabiki promptly bolted through the front door and out onto the street. She had to pause and think about how to get to the street of forges.

It was called the street of forges, because of all the industry it that had been built on either side of it, but most of that industry on it had closed down over the years that Nabiki had grown up. There were two largish foundries on that street along with a large number of small smithies that once made everything from kitchen knives to hoes.

All of them had gone out of business as their owners got to old to work and could not find any new apprentices to take over. They were replaced by distant factories that made everything with machines. The quality of the new goods was not even close to what the blacksmiths once turned out, but they worked well enough and cost far less.

Never having worked with any tools other than a pen and calculator, Nabiki did not have a problem with this change. It had always bemused her when Soun would gasp at finding such an antiquated piece of equipment and pay a small fortune for it. The garden shed had a good collection of the tools made somewhere along forges street, but the roar and jangle there had fallen silent a decade ago. Now, all that remained were age eaten buildings threatening to collapse onto their foundations. The other thing that remained was the smell of burned coal and clouds of soot stirred up by the winds, especially around the one foundry that made gears. Gear must be case hardened and case hardening required the use of a great deal of carbon black.

Nabiki all but tiptoed down the silent street of forges. The place gave her the heebee-jeebees. As she approached the shrine precincts, her skin began to crawl. The torii were leaning toward the street and the red paint on it was pealing away in long strips, but on the sacred side of it, there stood a hooded figure. It waved Nabiki toward itself, so Nabiki screwed up her courage and walked down the uneven paving of the path. As she stepped through the torii, everything changed with breathtaking suddeness.

Nonplussed, Nabiki still had the presence of mind to bow to the elderly Goddes standing on the shrine precincts.  
“Oos,” Nabiki said as a respectful salutation. “I am Tendo Nabiki, Hecate-dono.”

“Hmm, you're late, Tendo-san.”

“My humblest apologies, Hecate-dono,” Nabiki said in as humble a voice as she could muster. “Please forgive this lowly creature.”

“You are most decidedly not a lowly creature, Tendo-san,” Hecate replied, “just too arrogant for my tastes.”

“Then I must apologize once again, Hecate-dono,” Nabiki said. _Geez, I hope she isn't angry with me._

“Were I angry with you, there would be no doubts in your little mind, Tendo-chan,” Hecate said with the cackle of an ancient crone. “Are you ready for an adventure?”

Nabiki sucked in a deep breath. “I don't know. Unlike my younger sister, I have never been on a real adventure. Don't know that I want to, either.”

“How very wise of you,” Hecate said, “That is surprising in a human as young as you are, but then your other major flaw is that you are lazy.”

“True, Hecate-dono,” Nabiki said. “I never do anything that I do not need to do unless I think it might be fun.”

Hecate cackled once again, which made Nabiki shiver. Hecate's laugh was like Kodachi's cubed -- chilly chilling like an arctic wind.

“And you are a thoroughly modern girl,” Hecate said. “Perhaps you should go pay your respects to Inari seeing as how you are on His sacred ground.”

Nabiki was surprised by this. Her lower jaw dropped.

“Don't stand their catching flies, deary,” Hecate said. “Go pay your respects to Him so that we can move you along.”

Nabiki went through all the standard Shinto ceremonies for a visit to a shrine and then returned to Hecate.

“I have paid my respects to Inari, Hecate-dono.” Then she gasped.

Behind Hecate stood a woman who looked just like Nodoka Saotome. She was wearing the clothing worn by the ancient Greeks, and her hair was different, but there was no mistaking her face and the shape of her body. She was indeed Nodoka.

“Auntie Nodoka?” Nabiki asked in a voice filled with shock. “What are you doing here?”

“I'm here to talk with you about your future and that of my son,” Nodoka replied. “I am actually Thetis, by the way, the mother of Achilles.”

“So you had a second son?” Nabiki asked. “Why, and by whom?”

“By whom does not really matter at the moment,” Thetis said. “What matters is this trip that you are about to take.”

“Genma's not actually Ranma's father, is he?”

“Like I said, Ranma's real father is not the matter you should be worried about right now. We had a little trouble with the Chinese pantheon.”

“You did,” Nabiki said with a bit of alarm in her voice. “I thought it was settled.”

“Well, you know how it is with the Chinese, you think you have made a deal and then after you are comfortable with the terms you think you have with them, they come back and want to revisit the details.”

Nabiki nodded her head. She had in fact had some experience in dealing with the Chinese. They were always peculiar about how they did business, and revisiting a deal that you thought you had sealed up was one of their favorite tactics.

“What did they want?” Nabiki asked.

“They wanted you to go to Hell, or Jigoku, as your people call it. We finally settled with them on making you suffer through Meido instead.”

This sent Nabiki into an abject panic.

“I dare not do that, Nadoka, I mean Thetis-dono,” Nabiki said with a smarting throat. It was trying to close up on her and was making it difficult for her to talk. “There's some stuff about me...”

“That no one knows?” Thetis asked. “There always is, child, everyone has their secrets, but if one of your secrets is bad enough for the Judges of Meido to send you _to_ Jigoku or even Tartarus, then I don't think I want you around my son, let alone your marrying him.”

“I -- it wasn't all that bad,” Nabiki said or stammered. “It was nothing that thousands of other girls haven't done.”

“Oh, I see,” Thetis said. “You murdered your unborn child.”

“I was a rape victim,” Nabiki shouted. She was openly crying by now. “I did not want that creep's baby.”

“It was your baby, Tendo-san,” Thetis said, “you could have produced it and you should have. The child was innocent of doing any harm.”

“And everytime I looked at it, I would have had to relive that rape! I would have hated it!”

Thetis seemed to soften somewhat, but then she said, “And you could have put it out for adoption. That's an easy thing to do in this day and age. Unlike in ancient times when there were always too many mouths to feed.”

Nabiki ground her teeth in frustration.

“I think that I can forgive you for what you did,” Thetis said. “You were young and alone and your father is not especially adept at coping with something like that, especially when your police are so eager to catch killers of any kind.”

“I never told Daddy anything about it for that very reason,” Nabiki said. “The abortion was almost as much about me protecting him than it was about me ridding myself of an unwanted child.”

“And what is the name of your rapist, Nabiki.”

“If told anyone and it got back to Ranma, Ranma would be guilty of murder shortly after he found out about it.”

“So it is a man who lives here in Nerima, then.”

“Yes.”

Behind Thetis the afternoon sky seemed to start darkening for no reason that Nabiki could see. It was though something had begun to soak up the light before it could reach her eyes. Then a cold wind started blowing and Nabiki could hear faint screams of pain and bellows of anger.

“The demonic trio approaches,” Thetis said. “You must make up your mind now. You either go with them into Meido and suffer the judgement by the Kings of Hell, or you stay away from Ranma.”

“Okay, I'll go!” Nabiki said. She then thought about the mithral cloak Hestia had given her and it wrapped itself around her. “If they put me in a jigoku, at least then I won't be a burden on Ranma. He's as innocent as any boy can get -- more than most.”

Thetis suddenly looked proud, as though Nabiki had done something to impress her, but Nabiki did not understand what was going through the mind of Thetis. She especially did not understand why she had even had given birth to Ranma.

“Why did you want Ranma to be a man among men, Thetis-dono?”

Thetis smile grew even wider. “I wanted him to be as much like my first son as he could be. I wanted him to be a great warrior, and he is, is he not?”

“From what I hear about what happened in China, I don't think there is any room for doubt about him, but then he has that nasty curse...”

“Yes, well, he'll get past that,” Thetis said in a voice that rang with confidence. “He will soon have full control over it.”

“You had better hope, Thetis-dono,” Nabiki said. “Otherwise, it might well be your own child guilty of infanticide.”

Thetis actually laughed out loud at that. “Never.”

Just as the word rang out of the Goddess's mouth, three very ugly oni became visible out of the darkening atmosphere behind her. Nabiki shuddered when she saw them. They were of differing heights and colors.

The tallest of the three had a horse's head with thick antlers and had sorrel colored hair. The other had green warty skin with dark spots and looked like a frog with prominent tushes sticking up past its upper lip. The third one looked like a black werewolf that was just under two meters tall. All of them weighed well over 100 kilograms, or so Nabiki judged.

The horse headed one had a long iron kabaibou, or nobbed club, the handle of which came up to his shoulder when he put the thick end on the ground. The other two had kaibos as well, but they were shorter and one of them was made out of ironwood, rather than iron. Nabiki knew all the way down to her bones that it would not make any difference if Frog-san hit her with it.

Nabiki sucked in a long, long breath and said, “Goodbye, Thetis-dono.”

“Oh, I think we'll meet again, Nabiki-chan,” Thetis replied. “At least if my Ranma has any say in the matter we will.”

“You know, Thetis-dono, the very last thing I need right now is false hope,” Nabiki said. “You don't know Buddhism as well as I do, or you would not be saying such a thing. That, or you are just being malicious.”

Thetis merely smiled at her. “I'll see you again, even if I have to come to you.”

“Well, that is certainly a comfort,” Nabiki said in as sarcastic tone as she could muster. “I'm really and truly looking forward to your visit.”

She wiped at her eyes and said to the oni, “Let's go, guys. The sooner I stand trial, the sooner my punishment will get carried out.”

Horse head gave out a whinney that sounded amused. Frog-san sounded like he had given out a deep belch and the werewolf simply stared at her for a moment, then he opened his mouth and said, “I admire your courage, little girl, but don't think I'll make it any easier for you. Admitting your guilt does not make you innocent.”

“No, you're right,” Nabiki said as she stepped by horsehead. “It certainly doesn't. My child is still dead.” After that, she began to openly weep and the real agony for her began.


	7. Ranma Meets His Real Mother

Ranma returned home tired, sweaty and dirty. After a long day of harvesting daikon, he was looking forward to a good supper with Nabiki. When he opened the wide front gate of Tendo-ke, it creaked and squealed on its hinges as he pushed it open.

“Mph! Gotta remember to oil these hinges,” Ranma said aloud. “They keep doin' this and the weight'll wear 'em out.”

He opened the front door of the house and sat down on the settle in the genkan. Most people Ranma's age would never sit on the settle, thinking that such a piece of furniture was there for use by the elderly and working stiffs, but Ranma had used it practically every day for years. He could not recall how many times he had returned home injured or just plain old dog tired. Having a settle in the genkan was a great comfort.

“Tadaima!” He called out.

Hestia opened the inner door to the genkan. Ranma did not need but a glance to know that she was a Goddess. He leapt to his feet and bowed.

“Oos, Ou-Kami,” he said, “I apologize for not knowing your name. Please forgive me.”

“My name is Hestia, Ranma,” Hestia said in a voice that greatly reminded Ranma of Kasumi. “Welcome to Tendo-ke.”

Ranma recovered from his bow and entered the hall.

“Please do be a bit more casual, Ranma,” Hestia said. “I am the Goddess of the Hearth and you do not need to treat with me as you would the other Gods. I am to be a permanent fixture here, after all.”

“Oh, I see.” Ranma managed to stammer out. “You're replacing Kasumi, then?”

“Oh, my, no!” Hestia exclaimed. “I would never even try to replace Kasumi. Whatever gave you that idea?”

“She isn't here and you _are_ so...”

“You assume the wrong thing. I am not here to replace her, I am here to prepare this domicile for her arrival next month. She'll be here with the youngest child of Hermes.”

This brought Ranma up short.

 _Hestia's not here to prepare this place for Kasumi; she's makin' it ready for the kid Kasumi had by Hermes,_ Ranma thought. “So what you're really doin' is makin' this place safe for Hermes' kid, right?”

“Yes, that is very astute of you, Ranma.”

“How old is it?”

“It,” Hestis said with a huge smile, “is a baby boy.”

“A boy, huh? What's his name?”

“For now he is called Ushito.”

“That's a good name for a son of Hermes,” Ranma said. “How old is he?”

“Just a few months,” Hestia said. “Kasumi has taken a dislike to Olympus. I must admit that it really isn't a good place to raise a child. The place is far too busy for the proper rearing of children.”

Ranma stared at Hestia for a moment.

“So, it's like trying to raise a kid in an administration buildin', right?”

“Very much so.”

“Well, I can't really blame Kasumi for wanting to return here, but what about Hermes?”

“Oh, they are parting on amicable terms,” Hestia said a bit too quickly.

Ranma pursed his lips at this.

“Right. So what is so important about this kid that you had to come here and change this house?”

“Well, he _is_ the child of Hermes, you know. It's hard to predict what powers he might have.”

“And Zeus is going to expect me ta train 'im, right?”

Hestia nodded her head. “Yes, but do not worry. Those efforts will be counted as one of your twelve tasks.”

 _Shit!_ Ranma thought. _There's no way to know how a kid will turn out. I could do my absolute best and never let Shit-daddy or Soun_ _even_ _see him and_ _he_ _might still turn out bad._

“So, both Zeus and Hermes expect me to raise this kid to be a good man, right?”

“No, not really. All you need do is to give him a proper upbringing and train him in your arts.”

“Arts?”

“Yes, you do have more than one, right?”

Ranma thought about this for a moment, then answered, “So I'm supposed to teach him the Martial Arts as well as how to farm, right?”

Hestia nodded her head. “And Nabiki is to teach him her arts.”

Ranma pulled in a very deep breath and grinned. “Well, that's no surprise now is it? Speaking of Nabiki, where is she?”

There was a bright flash behind Ranma and he turned round to see what had caused it. He at first thought it was something electrical in nature, perhaps there had been a short circuit or something, but it was the sudden appearance of his mother. She was standing there wearing a Greek peplos made of white and purple cloth, as befitted a Goddess. Ranma was speachless for more than a few seconds.

“Mom?”

“Yes, my son. I am your mother.”

“But you're...”

“Yes, I know it must be a huge shock to you, but my real name is Thetis.”

Ranma became woozy and nearly collapsed, but recovered. Nodoka/Thetis smiled at him.

“You are truly a man, Ranma.”

“So you married Shit-daddy, and had me by him?” Ranma asked.

“Why don't we sit down and have some tea,” Ranma's mother said. “This will likely take a while to explain.”

Hestia popped out of the doorway to the kitchen bearing a tray with a teapot and two cups.

Ranma took in a very, very deep breath. “Okay, I'm thinkin' that I need to hear it, but it had better be good. Shit-daddy has managed to get on my very last nerve and iffen' he ain't my real dad, you had better have a very good story.”

“You need to know how ancient your true lineage is, my son,” Thetis/Nodoka said. “We are the single greatest Pantheon in existence.”

“Yeah? So where does that put you and me in relation to Zeus? And why is it that I am His slave at the moment?”

“Well, it is this way, you are being temporarily employed by Zeus,” Thetis said. “Think of it as a kind of trial -- perhaps audition would be a better word than trial.”

“An audition, huh? Why is that?”

Thetis/Nodoka broke out in laughter, as though embarrassed.

“That's not an answer, Mom.”

“I'm sorry, but it is simply so preposterous that it is hard for even me to believe.”

“Okay, then, let's start with something that is closer to home,” Ranma said as he sat down at the table and crossed his arms. “Where is Nabiki?”

Thetis sat down across the table from Ranma and poured his tea. Ranma then poured tea into her cup. Then they both sipped tea out of the cups at the same time, eyeing each other across the table.

“Well?” Ranma asked. He had the same look on his face that he had used on Ryoga when Herb and his minions turned up in Nerima and had taken Akane. It was a look of barely controlled rage -- cold fury in other words. He really and truly was in a full whupass mode.

“Relax, son,” Nodoka/Thetis said. “No real harm will come to her.”

Ranma's demeanor did not change at all. “But where _is_ she, Mom?”

“She is on her way to Meido to take a test.”

Ranma's head very nearly exploded. “So how did she die?”

“She is _not_ dead.”

Ranma put down his tea and got up. “I'll be seein' ya, Mom.”

“Wait, where are you going?”

“To Fear Mountain _(Osorezan in Japanese. It's a mountain on the northernmost coast of Aomori)_ , where else? I gotta go pack my cold weather gear.”

“No, she did not travel that way. She has gone directly to Meido, not that Buddhist temple on Osorezan.”

Ranma turned and stared at his mother. “In her living body?”

Nodoka/Thetis nodded her head.

“How?”

“Hecate arranged the trip,” Thetis/Nodoka said. “You need to ask her if you really want the finer details.”

Ranma returned to the table and sat down, looking as though he were in a really foul mood which was no surprise because he was.

“Okay, so now you have even more to explain and Nabiki's whereabouts and why she's there comes first before all the rest.”

“How very manly of you to want to know about your consort before anything else, Ranma.”

Ranma did not like his mother's use of the word “consort” for reasons that he did not and could not understand, but it was a better word than any other word besides lover, so he just sat in silence looking grim.

“She was spared only because she demanded a change of venue when she was presented with the charges of hubris. This led to negotiations between the Western Pantheons and the Asiatic Pantheons and there is more than one Asiatic Pantheon scattered around of the globe.”

“Yeah, so?”

“So, you know how difficult negotiating with the Chinese can be.”

Ranma rolled his eyes.

“They have a tendency to make a deal, and then come back and demand that you revisit a detail or two after they think you have already made your plans based on the deal they 'settled' on.”

“And so the Chinese Pantheon had some kinda change they wanted. No surprise there, what was it?”

“They wanted Nabiki to go to jigoku.”

“Which meant that she would hafta die.”

“Yes, but we talked them into her taking a trip to Meido instead.”

“Because you knew that you had a way of sending her there in her body, right?”

“Yes.”

Ranma put his left elbow on the table and plopped his forehead into his left palm. “How long ago did this happen?”

“This morning.”

“So we have a seven day wait for her to arrive in Meido proper, right?”

“Yes.”

“No wonder I didn't see her at the market today.”

Thetis/Nodoka said nothing.

“What do you guys expect to happen to her?” Ranma asked. He had a nasty ache in his throat and that, put a tremor in his voice.

Hestia stepped back into the room and said, “We expect her to be shipped off to the same place that Fudou Myou-ou has sent all the other living travellers to have reached Meido.”

Ranma stared at Hestia in silence.

“Don't worry, son,” Thetis/Nadoka said as she patted Ranma's hand, “getting Nabiki back will count as one of your tests.”

“Me passing the test is the least of my worries,” Ranma said with dangerous looking scowl on his face. “Keepin' my word to Akane is what I'm worried about.”

Thetis and Hestia burst out laughing about this claim.

“Dammit, that wasn't no joke!” Ranma shouted.

“But it was so very predictable of you, Ranma,” Hestia said.

“Indeed it was,” Nadoka/Thetis said. “I'm very proud of you. You are nothing like Genma.”

“It ain't like I don't care about Nabiki,” Ranma said. “She's just about as important to me as Akane was, but _my_ word is my main concern. You're right, I ain't nothin'like my shitty old man.”

“We know,” Hestia said.

“Tis what I expected of you, son,” Thetis/Nadoka said.

“Nabiki, unlike most mortals, is very difficult for us to read,” Hestia said.

“Yes, she claims to have had an abortion,” Nadoka/Thetis said. “Has she ever spoken to you about that?”

“Abortion? Nabiki?” Ranma said. “No way! She was crying about how she was gonna die a virgin right after we got back from the trial.”

“So it was something else that made her say those things,” Hestia said. “I wonder what it might have been?”

“With Nabiki it cudda been anything,” Ranma said, “but I don't believe that she ever had an abortion. She never risked getting pregnant.”

“Now I must wonder what on earth got into her,” Nadoka/Thetis said. “How many girls would have made such claim when there was no way that it could have happened.”

Ranma got up and went into the kitchen. Once he reached the sink, he ran cold water into a glass and then poured on his head. He emerged from the kitchen in his eye bending female body.

“What are you going to do in that body?” Thetis asked.

“I'm gonna go find that creep Kuno,” Onna-Ranma said as he stamped his way toward the genkan. “I just know that asshole has sumthin' ta do with this shit.”

Thetis and Hestia alike stared after him. He had not made it clear which member of the Kuno clan he had in mind, or what he meant to do once he found the guilty Kuno.

* * *

Nabiki started her journey to Meido more miserable than she had ever been in her entire life. Her misery started simply because of the path she was obliged to walk on. It was covered with tightly packed gravel that had sharp edges and all she was wearing were a pair of straw sandals and thin cotton tabi (toe socks). Her sandals were thick enough to stop the gravel from cutting her feet, but not thick enough to prevent them from being bruised. This made her walk more slowly than her escorting oni liked and they would poke her or swat her with their beastly kanabou.

The mithril peplos protected her from being killed by these stabs and blows, but they did not stop her from feeling them. Every time one of the kanabou touched her, it was like being jabbed with a cattle prod. Her muscles would spasm and her hair would try to fly off of her head.

After a ri _(2.44 miles)_ of this torment, the path started going down hill. A frigid wind started blowing into her face and it carried the strong stench of fresh human blood along with the sounds of wailing people. She could hear everything from the high pitched wails of teenage girls to the blood curdling sounds of grown men crying for their mothers.

Another ri onward and the path began to level out. The path was running across a stony flat with banks on either side that gradually got higher and higher. Then she found herself wading through human blood as deep as her ankles. Just ahead of her was a mob of half-transparent people. She could hear the whistling of thrown shuriken, the deadly three edged shaft type shuriken, not the showy throwing stars used by ninja on the television. These were the surenuff dangerous kind of weapons that gave you wounds that took a long, long time to heal.

The deadly shuriken were slamming into the mob in front of Nabiki and passing completely through each and every individual they struck. This resulted in every half-visible person on the path bleeding heavily. Within a half-ri, she started smelling the results of perforated bowels and stomachs. This stench was added to the smells of fresh human blood. Nabiki was nauseated, but because she had dined on a lump of ambrosia earlier in the morning, she was protected from the agony of puking herself empty. The other people ahead of her were not so fortunate. They were literally puking their guts out.

This caused Nabiki to slow down which then raised the ire of the three escorting oni. The horse headed oni jabbed his kanabou in her back repeatedly, forcing Nabiki to stagger forward into the nasty muck in front of her, but she did not move as fast as horsehead liked, so he stuck his kanabou between her legs and shocked her genitals. Nabiki screamed in agony and sprinted forward into the long line of souls, scattering them to either side as she ran.

This meant that Nabiki very quickly found herself waste deep in a liquid mixture of fresh blood, fresh vomit, liquid fesces, urine and tears. At one point she was actually forced to swim in this vile mixture. Once the path started up hill, there was less and less of this horrid mixture and she could breathe again without wanting to throw up.

But then came the flesh eating ravens, squawking and pecking at her eyes. Many of them knew how to speak and they squawked at her as they became frustrated by her protective peplops.

“Why are you still alive, you vile bitch?”

“Turn around and go back!”

“Yes, go back! You're not ready to take this path you fool!”

Nabiki remained silent, gritting her teeth.

 _Okay, Nabiki,_ she thought, _time to wear your big girl shoes and take the pain. Suffering through all this shit is the only way you'll get back to Ranma and survive._

The birds did their best to pluck her eyes out of her skull, but the mithril peplops protected her face as well as it had the rest of her body. Her eyes, however, felt every attempt on them. Her vision blurred from the tears that resulted from these vicious assaults on her face and eyes, but she kept on moving.

All the ravens suddenly flew away, they were replaced by a huge flock of black cockatoos. They had huge sharp bills meant for cracking large nuts and tried to gnaw throught the mithril pelops and get at her flesh. They had at her with deadly intent and sang as they worked.

“Serves you right to suffer! Serves you right to be alone.”

 _You birds are right,_ Nabiki thought. _It_ _does_ _serve me right but, I gotta get through all this somehow some way and_ _I shall_ _._

All the gnawing cockatoos suddenly vanished and Nabik then found herself staring at a steep mountainside that seemed to reach the sky. There was no path in front of her anymore, and the mob of dead souls had mysteriously vanished. There was only this steep sided mountain and its slopes were covered with every thorny plant you ever heard of. The number and variety of cactus was beyond belief. Every known variety of prickly pear, every known variety of barrel cactus along with an innumerable number of cacti she had never even heard of were on that steep slope. The cacti were punctuated by the presence of lacquer trees, that offered a chance to wrap your arms around their toxic trunks so that you could rest your back and rubbery legs.

“Oh, no!” Nabiki shouted. “What did I do to deserve this?”

“You built this mountain with your greed you filthy bitch!” Froggy-oni shouted. “Get moving.”

With that command, he jabbed her between the shoulder blades and Nabiki's back spasmed in such a painful way that she fell to her knees.

“Get up and get moving, bitch!” Froggy-oni shouted. He jabbed her in the ribcage for emphasis, but it did not help her get up. To the contrary, she fell flat on her face into a prickly pear pad that was lying on the rocky slope.

Nabiki then begged for mercy, “Please don't hurt me anymore! Please? I promise that it will never happen again ever.”

“There's no mercy for you here, you slut! Get up off your belly and climb!”

Nabiki then withdrew her arms from inside the peplops and tried to press down with her palms, but she put both of them down on thorny cacti. She screamed out in agony, which only invited more abuse from Froggy-oni.

“Git up you wimpy bitch! You either get up or I kill you right here, right now.”

Nabiki then gritted her teeth and pushed her body up off the ground and started her five day long climb up the mountain of pain. On the fifth day she started hearing the roar of the benighted Sanzu River as it poured over a nearby cliff. It was the sweetest sound she had ever heard, despite the dread that plunged into her chest.

 _At least now I'll get a break from the pain,_ she thought. _Never mind the questioning I will get from Fudou Myou-ou. He will very likely send me across in the deep part of the Sanzu once he's done. There is no way for me to hide my sins now and there are so many._

She staggered out of the thicket full of thorns, and down the sandy slope. The mob had reappeared in front of her, forming a line more than a ri in length. By then she was shocky and freezing cold. The pain was incessant and cut through her fatigue like a knife. Standing was not a relief, but agony added to boredom. At the end of her seventh day, she stood before the first Judge of the Dead, Fudou Myou-ou. He was but the first of the Thirteen Kings of Hell.

He was an angry, ugly fellow that looked so much like His Buddhist idol that Nabiki was amazed. He was even surrounded by real flames and they became more intense once he saw her.

“Why are you here wearing your clay, Tendo Nabiki?” Fudou Miyou-ou thundered.

“What do you mean clay?” Nabiki shouted back. “All I'm wearing is the blood, puke, shit and urine that I had to wade through to get here!”

“You do not understand!” Fudou Myou-ou shouted. The flames surrounding him would have burned Nabiki to death had it not been for the mithril pelops she wore. “You're not supposed be here in your living flesh, you stupid evil bitch!”

Nabiki managed to grin through her pain. “You Guys got beaten by a wily Greek, Fudou Myou-ou. Pack that in yer pipe and smoke it.”

The fires around Fudou Myou-ou roared and swelled until they engulfed him and Nabiki. Nabiki could hear her hair crackle, but she was pleased anyway. _Serves him right,_ she thought.

“I heard that thought, you stupid little bitch! Who do you think you are to judge me?”

“I am Tendo Nabiki and my pride is one of my worst sins, so shoot me already. I will find that a blessing.”

“Oh, no! I will not be so kind as all that,” Fudou Myou-ou said. The fires surrounding him hissed in in concert with his voice. “You must first hear the litany of your sins and shortcomings. Then, I shall pronounce your sentence. Understand?”

“Yeah, okay. Get on with it!” Nabikis shouted. “I'm out of patience with this bullshit!”

This caused Fudou Myou-ou's fires to swell until they completely engulfed Nabiki again. It licked her eyebrows and eyelashes away this time. Had it not been for her blessed pelops, it would have burned all her skin away as well.

“You have slain millions upon millions of microbes that tried to make you ill!”

“The only good parasite is a dead parasite!” Nabiki shouted back. “I don't give a shit!”

“You have also killed thousand upon thousand of insects with your swatting, poisons and fumes!”

“Like I said, the only good parasite is a _dead_ parasite.”

“Funny, you have been rather parasitic yourself, you have bilked nearly all of your fellow students out of tens of thousands of yen!”

“Well, it served them right. It was their own greed that led most of them into my traps.”

“You have also never hesitated to take advantage of their sexual desires, have you?”

“No, I have not. Why should I have? It was their lust, not mine.”

“But it was your greed that motivated you was it not, save that one time with Kuno Tatewaki?”

Nabiki gave Fudou Myou-ou a very sour sneer. “Oh, please! You're going to take up for that arrogant ass? He was an octopus. All hands! Yes, his looks did turn me on as well as his money, but I had to put an end to it.”

“And you ended the affair by knocking him out with an elbow to the chin, did you not?”

“Yes, I most certainly did!” Nabiki shouted with pride. “He deserved it.”

“And then, once he wakened, you bragged on how well he made love to you, did you not?”

Nabiki was not so proud of this part of her behavior. She merely nodded her head in agreement.

“Then you waited a week and told him that your monthly menstruation had not occurred, right?”

“It served him right for telling all his friends that he had 'gained carnal knowledge of my body'. It ran through the whole of Furinkan and even my elder sister, Kasumi, got wind of it.”

“And so you then went out of your way to become the 'Ice Queen' did you not?”

“True.”

“And your period started right on time, yet you happily accepted that wad of bills that the scion of house Kuno slapped you with.”

“I did indeed. I felt like I had it coming from that arrogant ass. He was as stupid as he was arrogant and wealthy beyond the dreams of all avarice. I needed that money.”

_There are supposed to be two spirits with me at this point in my journey. One of them has recorded all the good things that I have done, and the other has recorded all the bad things that I have done and neither of them has appeared. Oh, wait! I'm still alive. I have to be dead to be tried in this court._

“After a long litany of similar sins and even grosser ones, you took full advantage of your current lover, with whom you have had sexual relations out of wedlock, by selling photographs of him to all comers. You led a great many young people into sin by doing that, you know.”

“If you expect me to feel guilty for their hormones as well as mine, then you may as well go whistle for your apology. I am what the Gods made me, nothing more and nothing less,” Nabik said in a cold voice. “So is every other human I ever met.”

“You are forgetting your eldest sister, Tendo!”

“No, I am not!” Nabiki snapped. “She ran off with the Greek God Hermes, or did you not know? She even told me that she had begun to lust after Saotome Ranma's guy side.”

That statement was the final straw for Fudou Myou-ou. His fire died away and was replaced by a glowing bock of ice that also surrounded Nabiki. It was so solid that she could not even shiver.

“You, my dear Tendo are the most perfect scamp I have ever had come before me. You are even more deceptive than the wily Odysseus,” Fudou Myou-ou said. “I have seen a great many evil souls come before me, all of them had the good sense to be apologetic, but you, as limp as your tiny sins are, lack that humility. Your hubris stinks to high heaven. I hereby sentence you to live in the _Heavenly Place of Divine Order_. There, even your slightest physical need will be met, but you will be watched day and night. Get thee hence!”

With that, Nabiki found herself falling into a swirl of stars and islands floating about in the raw vacuum of space. She passed near blue giant stars that made her skin itch and red giants that tried to burn her to a crisp and was whirled around white dwarfs that did their best to crush her bones, but then, without any warning, she fell into the Aegean blue waters just off the rocky shore of an island. She was not in the open sea, but the port channel and was picked up by a passing pilot's boat.

The crew and captain could only speak Greek, which Nabiki did not have the first clue about. She could not even guess at what they were trying to say to her. She stood there shivering from the cold and her pain and nodded her head as vigorously as she could, hoping that the skipper would use his throttle to reach the dock sooner. She was also happy that her dip in the sea had washed off the bulk of the grime and gore she had acquired while in the underworld.

* * *

Ranma finally caught up with Kuno. As usual, the fool tried to embrace his “Pig Tail Goddess.” Onna-Ranma actually broke a few bones in the arrogant kendoka's foot this time by stamping it with his dainty heel.

Kuno howled like a scalded dog and angrily attacked all out for once. But Kuno's best efforts were as nothing to Onna-Ranma. He had killed a God and defeated a dragon, destroying a mountain each time. Kuno's best was mere child's play to him.

The more desperate Kuno became, the more times Onna-Ranma got inside his guard and inflicted pain on him. He collapsed at Onna-Ranma's feet in short order. Kuno lay prostrate and gasping like a fish out of water.

“So, Kuno, about Nabiki...”

“What about that spiteful witch?”

“Something happened between you two early own. I wanna know about it. Start talkin'!”

“Ne...ver!” Kuno's face twisted up with pain and disgust. “I don't want to remember that wretched event. It was degrading!”

“Okay, I'll just practice my shiatsu techniques on ya until the pain becomes bad enough to overcome your resistance. You _will_ talk about it soon. May as well pass up the pain, man.”

Kuno snorted in derision. “What do you know of shiatsu, Osage-no-Onna?”

“Let me show you,” Onna-Ranma said with a fierce grin. He then seized Kuno's left wrist and twisted is lower left arm in a peculiar fashion, then stabbed Kuno's left ulnar nerve with a stiff finger. Kuno started howling like a scalded dog again.

“Yeow! My arm and palm are on fire. What did you do to me?”

“That's just a starter, Kuno. That is the simplest and one of the most painful shiatsu points that I know about. I'll start work on your brachial plexus next. If you think what I just did to yer lower arm was painful, you'll discover that there is a whole new universe of pain waiting fer yer ass.”

“Wait!” Kuno gasped. “Allow me to catch my breath.”

Onna-Ranma hesitated, but did not relax. Kuno lunged for his bokken and Onna-Ranma stopped him by stepping on it. Then he remembered what he had done to a bokken once while in the nekoken and repeated that performance on this one. He shaved oaken instrument of pain into paper thin curls using his ki claws. It weapon became irretrievably useless in under a second. He dropped the oak shavings in a tangled pile of curls in front of Kuno's face.

“Now you done it, Kuno! This is gonna hurt you bad.”

Before Onna-Ranma could get close to him, Kuno started talking. He revealed the entire sordid story in one long agonized burst of speech.

“Whaddaya mean you screwed her? She knocked you out cold, _dumbass_.”

“No, I remember making love to her! I really do.”

“You just lay there and hurt, Kuno,” Onna-Ranma said. “I'll call an ambulance to come pick your nasty ass up.”

He walked over to a nearby pay phone, there were only a few “mobile phones” in those days. The smallest ones were about the size of a brick and weighed about twice as much. The others were larger and were permanently installed in cars. They ran on vacuum tubes and were too heavy to lug about. Besides, their batteries ran down quickly. They needed the power from the car's generator in order to work. He dialed 119 on the pay phone, there was no charge for dialing 119 in Japan, just as there was never a toll to dial 911 in the US.

“Yeah, we need an ambulance near pay phone number 1852.”

“Well, there's this kid who got beat up by someone. He's in agony. He's thrashin' around out here on the sidewalk.”

“Sorry, no names. I don't wanna get involved.”

He hung up the phone and started walking back to Tendo-ke.

* * *

The pilot's boat carried Nabiki to shore. The boat's skipper must have called ahead somehow, because there was a police cruiser sitting at the dock waiting on her. It was an old fashioned car -- like the ones built back in the late 1940s. All curves with a a post in the middle of the windshield. She had never seen one before and did not recognize the brand. It was just an old style automobile; it even had its shifter on the steering column.

The female cop put handcuffs on her and had her climb into the back seat. The male driver never turned on his siren and he did not drive very fast either. He took his time getting her to the police station. Nabiki nearly got car sick from the lurching the driver caused every time he shifted the standard transmission.

After they reached the jail, the female cop turkey-walked Nabiki inside and put her in a shower. This pleased Nabiki to no end. She all but laughed out loud with joy. Fresh hot water. They even had liquid bath soap, which she used liberally. There was also a hotel sized bottle of shampoo and another one of cream rinse. She emptied both completely washing and rinsing her hair.

After Nabiki was done cleaning up, the guards gave her fresh underwear, curiously, the panties fit, but the bra was about a half-size too big, and they were followed by a very bright yellow jumpsuit. The clean cloth felt very good against her freshly cleaned skin, but then one of the guards handed her five small squares of paper that had writing in the Greek alphabet on them. He had a disgusted look on his face when he did so. Then they gave her the magically shrunken mithril pelops that she had jammed into the pocket of her shrine maiden's uniform. They were very curious about it, but were unable to ask about it. There was a very large language barrier between the police and Nabiki.

They then frog-marched her up many flights of stairs and into a largish room that was very nearly full of what Nabiki decided, upon first seeing it, to be an elaborate pipe organ. The guards cuffed her to a table on the back side of the organ and gave her a rather uncomfortable stool to sit on.

Then, two men came in. One of them was large and heavily muscled. He was wearing a dark brown jumpsuit that reminded her of Soun. The other man was of average height and build, but he was wearing a jump suit that was about the same shade of yellow that Nabiki was wearing, only his jumpsuit had black eppelauts on its shoulders and they were decorated with two gold colored bars each. He sat down behind the organ and disappeared from Nabiki's sight.

Then a tall man, much taller than the grunt wearing the brown jump suit walked in. He was wearing what appeared to be the equivalent of what men wore during the nineteenth century, and it was made of royal purple cloth. He wore a grey pin stripe shirt under his formal blouse with a yellow cravet at his neck. He had an air about him that told Nabiki that he was a pompous ass.

 _Obviously, this is the boss,_ Nabiki thought. _The other two are mere worker bees. One of them is_ _just_ _muscle and the other_ _must be_ _some kind of technician._

The tall guy in purple cleared his voice rather loudly and another worker bee, this one was dressed in a blue jump suit with with piping, came in with a rather plush chair and set it down well out of Nabiki's reach. The man in purple nodded his head to tell the worker that the chair met his satisfaction. He waved the worker off. The man dressed in blue and white backed out of the door and carefully shut it. When it clicked the man in purple glanced over at the other two workers. The man in brown began turning a crank.

Nabiki could hear something winding up beneath the floor. The man turned the crank faster and faster until the man behind the organ waved at him. He then turned it just fast enough to keep the revolutions of whatever was under the floor up to speed.

The man in purple snapped his fingers, and Nabiki looked him in the eye. Once he knew that he had her attention, he asked a question in Greek, which Nabiki did not understand. She kept right on staring at him because she had not a clue of what he had said.

The man sitting behind what Nabiki thought was an organ flipped several tabs, pressed some keys then stepped on a pedal. The reedy voice of the organ then tried to say something in what Nabiki perceived to be Chinese. She did not speak Chinese, not beyond what was necessary to order food anyway, so she kept giving the purpled bossman a blank stare.

The bossman stared at the guy behind the organ. Nabiki heard the clacking sounds once again and then a groan when the man stepped on a pedal again. The organ then tried to speak Spanish to her. After several more iterations of this procedure in differing languages, the organ finally took a shot at the bossman's question in English, which Nabiki almost did not recognize. The sounds coming out of the organ were very, very reedy on top of lacking in inflections whatsoever, and worse, the sentence structure was inverted.

“YOUR NAME, PLEASE STATE.”

Nabiki snapped. The box was putting the verb last. “My name is Tendo Nabiki.”

The organ repeated her answer in Greek. The bossman looked as though he had an orgasm.

 _I wonder if this guy invented this_ _magical organ_ _,_ Nabiki thought. _He sure acts like it. Or, maybe he was the one who signed the purchase order for it and he's just pleased that it sort of works._

The man said something in Greek and the organ translated the Greek into a poor grade of English; “YOU FROM ARE?”

“Nerima Japan,” Nabiki answered.

“HERE YOU CAME HOW?”

Nabiki shrugged her shoulders. “I came here via Meido. I was ordered to come here by Acala _(_ _Fudou Myou-ou_ _in English)_. He was very irate with me.”

“YOU OF WHAT ACCUSED?”

“Hubris and keeping a disorderly house, I think.”

“CERTAIN YOU ARE NOT?”

“No -- well -- the charge of hubris was very clear. I don't have any doubts about that one.”

“FOR WASTE, FIVE TIMES FINED TODAY, YOU WERE.”

“You mean these tickets?” Nabiki asked holding them up.

“YES.”

“What did I waste?”

“WATER WASTING; SOAP WASTING; SHAMPOO WASTING; HAIR TREATMENT WASTING; TIME IN PUBLIC BATHING FACILITY WASTING.”

“So I am already a citizen?”

“FROM HERE CAN YOU GO?”

Nabiki shook her head, more to test the nature of the gesture in this society than anything else.

“THEN CITIZEN YOU MUST BE.”

“What is the name of this island, anyway?”

“Xiropigado,” the man said after the organ translated Nabiki's question, waving at the guy operating the organ. The muscled up guy in the brown jumpsuit was once again struggling to bring he organ back up to speed. His breathing was labored and he broke out into a sweat.

As it happened, Nabiki had stumbled across pictures of Xiropigado back home. It was a tiny resort community on the coast of far off Greece, not an island.

 _This really is an entirely different part of the universe,_ she thought. _I wonder if_ _all the ordinary people_ _here must wear these awful jumpsuits?_

The bossman began speaking in Greek once again and the organ piped out, “YOU OUR LANGUAGE LEARNED; HERE YOU WILL STAY UNTIL; OUR CUSTOMS YOU LEARN AS WELL. The man paused then spoke in Greek again and the organ added, “YOUR MISTAKES CORRECTED WILL BE AT THE TIME THEY MADE ARE.”

 _Aw geez!_ Nabiki thought. _That means they can keep here for as long as they please._

“I see,” she said.

“FACE SAYS THAT DEEPLY WORRIED YOU ARE.”

The purpled bossman had a rueful look on his face.

“WORRY NOT. INTELLIGENT YOU ARE. TO ORDINARY QUARTERS SOON YOU BE SENT WILL. IN THIS FACILITY ONE YEAR YOU RESIDE.”

Nabiki heaved a sigh of disgust.

“WORD COMPUTER YOU KNOW?”

“Yes,” Nabiki said, “a computer is a programmable machine that does math.”

The bossman gave Nabiki a puzzled stare. He sighed and pulled on a velvet rope that ran up to the top of the wall and Nabiki heard a bell ring out in the hall.

The two guards who had brought her to this interrogation room came through the door and the bossman got up and walked out. The two guards then released Nabiki from the table and cuffed her hands behind her back. Then they put a heavy choke chain on her neck and snapped a leash on the running end of the choke collar. The leash was about three meters long and was made of heavy plaited leather.

Nabiki clenched her teeth so tightly that it made her head hurt.

 _Oh, shit!_ _They're going to hang me._ _I'm going to die right now,_ Nabiki thought as she felt her bowels loosen. _What did I say to him that made him so angry? This isn't fair! I_ _haven'_ _t do_ _ne_ _anything_ _in_ _this place that_ _would justify their killing me._

One of the guards coiled took the leash and the other stood by Nabiki's side. He had a billy club with pointed little stubs on it. He prodded Nabikii in the ribs with the it.

Nabiki hobbled forward as best she could. Her legs felt as though they were just bags of water, heavy, unsteady and her knees had suddenly acquired extra degrees of motion. Once they walked out into the hall, there were two more guards standing there waiting on them. One got on each side of Nabiki and reached down behind her. Her jumpsuit was equipped with two heavy cloth loops on the backs of her upper legs. Then, she discovered, that the top of the jumpsuit had two heavy pockets up above her shoulder blades. One of the first pair of guards stood next to Nabiki and shoved his hand into the pocket on her left side. The other guard had coiled up the leash and then stuck his hand in the pocket on her right side. Then, the four of them together carried her down the hall as though she were a sack of grain.

Nabiki felt her face go hot. Then she sweated and her breath became very short.

 _This is not going to end well,_ she thought. _I don't have a prayer of getting away from these guys._

“Oh, Ranma!” Nabiki wailed. “I need you! Where are you?”

The guards laughed and kept right on walking down the hall.

 _How long is th_ _is_ _fucking hall, anyway?_ Nabiki thought. W _here are these goons taking me? Are they going to feed me to_ _a school of_ _sharks? Something worse, maybe?_

After what seemed to be an interminable length of time, the guards stopped in front of another door and set Nabiki on her feet. Her right sandal fell off in the process, and one of the guards helped her get it back on.

They freed one of her hands and then brought both of them around to her front and fastened them again. While that was going on, the guard holding the leash, made a point of holding it up over her head so that the choke chain was cold and snug against Nabiki's throat.

Nabiki fought down the urge to stand on her tiptoes. _No telling what this goon will do to me were I to do that,_ Nabiki thought.

Once they had the cuffs securely fastened, on guard and locked them, another checked to make certain that they were properly closed, one of the guards opened the door. Inside was one of the most peculiar rooms Nabiki had ever seen. Three walls were made of limestone ashlars, as all the other walls of the building, but the fourth wall was half glass. The glass was not of very good quality, it had ripples and strains in it that distorted the view through it, but it was faintly green and completely transparent. The room was narrow and had several chairs with thick cushions on them. The purpled bossman was sitting in one of them. He motioned for the guards to bring her on in and sit her down in one of the chairs.

As she settled into the plush cushions, she realized that this room overlooked a larger room one floor down. The lower room had several long tables arranged in neat rows and they had people sitting on heavily cushioned stools, writing on paper with pencils. Some of the people down there would consult what appeared to be thick reference works and would right down whatever was in the charts. As each person completed his or her assigned task, they would pass the paper that they had written to the person sitting to their left. That person would then do some more writing and then pass it on to the next person on the left.

The purpled bossman nudged Nabiki with his right elbow. He was holding a pair of opera glasses for her to use. She took them with trembling hands and then used them to see what was going on in the room below. It was then that she realized that all of the men in the lower gallery were doing basic arithmetic. They would add, subtract, divide or multiply one time, and then pass the paper to the person on the right.

Nabiki was suddenly relieved. _What he meant by computer is one of these people. They do not do their computing with a machine, they have humans doing the work. Here, a computer is a person who_ _does basic arithmetic._ _Computers here are_ _human_ _beings_ _, not machine_ _s_ _._

Nabiki laughed out loud as she handed the opera glasses back to the purpled bossman. He accepted them with a smile and then nodded at the guards. Nabiki then had to suffer their rude methods transporting her once again.

After her hands were cuffed through an eyebolt that stuck up through the table top, she sat down on the uncomfortable stool. One of the guards came over and double checked her cuffs. He looked over his shoulder and nodded his head at the other guard standing just outside in the hallway. The purpled bossman traipsed back into the room and sat down in his nicely upholstered chair.

The browned muscle spun up whatever it was that made the organ work and the purpled bossman asked another question in Greek.

“UNDERSTAND NOW, YES?”

Nabiki wanted to laugh, but dared not to. She nodded her head. “Yes, I understand. On this world, a computer is a person who does calculations.”

The organ immediately attempted to translate what Nabiki had said. Apparently, it succeeded after a couple of tries. She could see that it had from the expression on the face of purpled bossman, but it put a huge strain on the brown muscle.

“GREEK YOU NO SPEAK. THEREFORE YOU UNABLE GOSSIP.”

Nabiki nodded her head as she said, “Yes, sir. When do I start?”

The organ translated and the purple bossman smiled at her. Then he spoke in Greek and the organ dutifully did its best to translate what he said into English.

“EARLY MORNING AFTER YOU BREAK FAST. RIDE BUS TO OBSERVATORY.”

“Okay, I'm up for that,” Nabiki said in a cheerful voice. _I wonder if yonder wonder organ can translate that._

The miraculous organ had a very difficult time translating what Nabiki had said. The purpled bossman got up and walked over to the controller's side of the organ and studied the whatever feedback mechanisms it had for a moment. He looked up to examine Nabiki and she had already put on her most cheerful face. He smiled back at her.

“REST NOW YOU MAY. YOU FROM PURGATORY WERE SENT. INTO SHIP CHANNEL YOU FALL. FATIGUED YOU MUST BE.”

The guards then carried her down flight after flight of stairs until Nabiki was forced to assume that they had descended into a chamber deep beneath the building. They put her into a tiny cell. It was about a meter and a half wide by two meters long. It had a shiny toilet that looked as though it had been made out of sheet steel and then plated with chromium, a tiny porcelain sink with only one faucet and a bunk bed. Nabiki fell on the lower bunk face down right after her cuffs were removed. The mattress smelled and felt greasy, but she fell into a deep slumber almost immediately.

* * *

Onna-Ranma returned to Tendo-ke still fuming. He had gotten answers out of Kuno, but had not liked what he had heard. _I did not believe that Nabiki had ever_ _fucked_ _a guy._ _What she enjoyed was teasing pricks._ He had his suspicions about several of the girls in her orbit, but that's all he had -- suspicions. He was very short on solid proof of anything.

“Welcome home, son,” Thetis/Nadoka said. “Learn anything?”

“Yeah, I learned that Kuno is a bigger idiot than he is a creep -- wait -- I got that backwards. He didn't tell me anything that I didn't expect to hear.”

“And that was?”

“That he made passionate love to Nabiki and fell asleep. Then, after he woke up a while later, she claimed that he had done a magnificent job of making her feel good.”

“So it appears that she was telling the truth about having an abortion.”

“I don't believe that,” Onna-Ranma said as he dumped hot water over his head. In his now very masculine voice he said, “Nabiki is one of the most accomplished con artists I have ever met. She is also very good with her elbows and knees in the clinches.”

“And your point is?”

“I think she knocked that dumbass stick bearer out with an elbow to his chin, then had the balls to wait until he woke up and brag about what a great night they had.”

“And then she...”

“She waited a week or so and then ran to Kuno crying because her period hadn't started. Then the silly rotten ass decided he wuddin' ready to marry her or anyone else, so he slapped her with a big wad of thousand yen bills and tells her to go get an abortion.”

“Did he do that?”

“It's what he told me.”

“That still does not prove that Nabiki never had an abortion.”

“No it don't, but I can't forget how panicked she was when we returned home from our trial. She was scared to death that she was going to die a virgin.”

“And you believed her?”

“Yeah, Mom! She gave me plenty of reason to believe her. She risked the wrath of Akane when we got back.”

“All right, I shall give her the benefit of the doubt -- for now. I find her taking such a risk _that_ impressive.”

“Mmph!”

“What about the Kuno boy?”

“Oh, don't worry about _him_ ,” Ranma said. “I called an ambulance to come out and pick him up.”

“Well, that's _certainly_ reassuring.”

“He'll be okay. I just broke a few bones in his right foot and used some shiatsu on 'im. We got somethin' ta eat?”

Thetis/Nadoka gave Ranma a bemused stare before saying, “Of course we do dear. I'll bring it right out.”

* * *

Nabiki dreamed that the magical organ in the interview room was calling her name.

“TENDO? TENDO NABIKI? YOU ARISE MUST.”

It kept saying the same thing over and over and over until she realized that it really was the voice of that magical organ speaking over some kind of tubular sound system. She raised her head, puzzled by the surroundings seen by eyes filmed over with sleep. Then the memories of what she had endured came back in a sudden flood. She drew up into a fetal position and whimpered for a few minutes.

The intercom kept calling out her name in its mangled version of English. So, she got up, relieved herself and then washed her face. The water coming out of the single faucet was shockingly cold, but tasted very fresh. It had no chlorine or lime in it the way the water in Tokyo did. It was like drinking from a mountain stream.

A guard arrived at her door while she was drying her face. She motioned Nabiki toward the door. It had a slot in the bars that she could stick her hands through, so she did and the guard then put cuffs on her wrists.

She then followed the guard out to the cargo bay where the buses would arrive to pick up everyone that was going to be put to work that day. It turned out that it was nearly everyone in the prison -- er -- detention/education center. _Re-education center, maybe? It was then that Nabiki saw that there were different colored jumpsuits issued to different prisoners -- er -- detainees -- er -- student_ _s_ _._

_Detainee sounds ever so much better than prisoner does, doesn't it, Nabiki? Yeah, well half dozen of one, six of the other._

Amazingly enough, the “buses” turned out be the old fashioned stretched out station wagons used during the late 1940s by hotels, complete with the curvy fenders hoods and trunk lids along with spackled looking paint. Her “bus” turned to be painted about the same shade of yellow as her jumpsuit.

At least two of the girls who rode the same bus spoke English with a definite cockney accent. Nabiki could only just barely understand them. The organ was easier on her ears and a good deal more comprehensible. There was another girl who muttered to herself in Spanish and two more who definitely spoke Italian, but Nabiki suspected that Italian was a second language for one of them. The rest spoke languages that did not sound remotely like any language she had ever heard before.

“We were picked to work together as computers because none of us speak the same language,” Nabiki muttered. “The odds are good that I am the only speaker of Japanese here, and I don't see any guys in this crowd. I suppose that is another requirement for the truly tricky calculations. Don't mix the sexes so that the computers will devote their entire attention to what they are doing. Shit, I'm going to _hate_ this job.”

The bus, which Nabiki suspected ran on ethanol from the rich smell of its exhaust, had all its passenger seats facing toward the rear. She was forced to walk all the way forward and sit down right behind the driver. She would have preferred a seat at the very back, but the guards were did not trust her that much yet. She was obliged sit down next to a reinforcing post and her guard cuffed her to it. The standard transmission, a four speed of ancient design, whined and ground every time the driver shifted gears. The clutch pedal was operated with springs and they rang every time the clutch was used. All in all, it was not a very quiet machine compared to the buses in Japan that had superb mufflers and automatic transmissions. The racket this machine made grated on Nabiki's nerves.

The big wide tires rumbled and roared over the cobblestones a the bus climbed the switchback roads going up the spine of island. There were olive orchards, orange orchards and several other types orchards on the hillsides. The island was not spectacularly tall. Its bedrock was a very light colored limestone with gray banding in it. There were small tunnels and caves everywhere on every hillside. The farmers had also gone to the trouble of planting edible grasses between the trees of their orchards as well. Nabiki had seen some big patches of clover in a few places. It had already gone to seed, so there were no clover flowers to be seen, but there was a riot of bougainvillea and, believe it or not, poinsettia with bright bracts from white to every shade of red that she had ever seen.

The waters inshore were a sparkling sea green that shaded off into a deep blue as the waters got deeper. Parts of the bay had white caps and other parts were look like glass it was so smooth. The winds were steady and warm, but the temperatures fell dramatically as the bus climbed higher. By the time the bus pulled up at the loading docks of the observatory -- er -- observatories, it was positively chilly.

The loading docks were in a central building, where all the stores necessary for the operation of the observatories were kept. Each detainee was issued a warm coat as they debarked. The jackets were quilted and had cotton liners with coarse stiff wool as an outer shell, and as primitive as they were, Nabiki was grateful to have one of them. It was simply that cold.

Nabiki's teeth started chattering after about two hours of doing basic arithmetic. There was no way for her to take a break. If she did, paper would stack up at her place, throwing the entire process off pace. By noon, the building had warmed up some and she felt better and they got to take a break for food and drink.

She discovered as she started to eat that meal, that she could not bear the taste of mutton. Better to eat a fish salad sandwich rather than gag on a hot piece of mutton. All she had for lunch that first day at the observatory was a large piece of mutton that she only took a single bite of, a tiny cup of overcooked lentils and a large salad that was superb. They had a choice between mulled wine or cold water. Nabiki skipped the wine that day, then regretted in later in the afternoon.

Yes, skipping the wine kept her head clear, but that was offset by the numbing cold. Her teeth were chattering by the time one of the full time observatory staff rang the dismissal bell.

 _Everything is operated by hand here for some reason,_ Nabiki thought. _Surely they have enough know how to add a little convenience to their lives. Why haven't they?_

They walked back to the central building in an orderly line, and each of them surrendered their jacket to the quartermaster before they boarded the bus. Nabiki was deeply grateful to the driver for having the engine running and the bus's heater at full blast. Once Nabiki and her fellow computers had gotten settled, the bus trundled down the mountain. Nabiki got car sick. Riding downhill on a switchback road while facing the back of the vehicle was different from anything she had ever experienced at home. She barely kept her luncheon down.

Someone near the front of the bus lowered her window and Nabiki wanted to scream, but refrained once she felt the semi-warm air streaming into the bus.

 _It's amazing how much difference a couple of hundred meters in elevation makes,_ Nabiki thought. _Up at the observatory, the air is as dry and cold as a mother-in-law's kiss. Down here, its as warm and moist and Ranma's mouth._ She shuddered when she thought about Ranma. _I'm go_ _tta_ _find some sort of release without_ _him_ _around._

* * *

“If the traditions are right, we hafta wait seven days, don't we?” Ranma asked as he carefully laid his chopsticks across the rim of rice bowl. “Shouldn't I go to a Buddhist temple and pray for her or sumthin'?”

Both Hestia and Thetis were there and both nodded their heads.

“So, I wonder what will happen after that?” Ranma asked. “Does Fudou Myou-ou pass judgement on living humans? Or is Nabiki really dead?”

His face betrayed his emotions.

“Don't worry, son, we sent her to Meido completely intact,” Thetis said.

“Yes, and I gave her a newly contrived garment that should protect her physical body from harm,” Hestia said. “It was I who came up with the specifications for its material.”

“Yeah?” Ranma asked. “What's it made out of?”

Hestia smiled. “Spider silk. The spiders of Earth B of Series Nine, to be exact.”

Ranma gave Hestia a blank stare. “Series what of planet who? What are you talking about?”

Thetis touched Ranma on the shoulder and asked, “How much do you know of quantum mechanics, my son?”

“It's a religion that physicists worship. It uses complex math as a liturgy,” Ranma answered. “Only don't tell that to one of 'em cause he'll get pissed atcha.”

Both Goddesses tittered at Ranma's declaration of skepticism.

“You are almost correct, Ranma-kun,” Hestia said, “but there is much more to their views than meets the eye.”

Ranma shrugged at this. “Hestia, I have seen so much weird shit that it would not surprise me in the least. Why are there so many related universes?”

“There is but one universe, son,” Thetis said. “It contains everything by its very defintion. The universe is, however, divided up into numerous compartments thanks to the nature of quantum mechanics.”

“Indeed, that is so,” Hestia said. “Whenever an event occurs that has a major impact on human history, a different Earth is created.”

“And if an event affects every part of existence, then an entirely new 'series” or 'brane' is created. Only a tiny few of the series, or branes, as the current crop of physicist like to call them, have planets with human civilizations on them.”

“What Thetis says is accurate, Ranma,” Hestia said. “As far as we know, there are only twelve series with human life in them. They all have nine different Earths and each version of planet Earth is given letters, starting with the letter A through the letter J -- I mean the letter I. I have a great deal of difficulty keeping the English alphabet straight. It is so similar to its parent alphabet that it is difficult to remember the differences between them.”

Ranma considered the subject of English so boring that he slept through nearly every class of it, Ninomia Hinako's energetic protests not withstanding. He could have cared less about English or its details. He did however remember the so-called alphabet that English was written in. He had forced himself to memorize all twenty-six letters of it. He decided that he did not want to explore that topic. He wanted to know more about the universe and what made it tick.

 _Contrary to what my educators believe and what the Americans and the Brits believe,_ _they are not the dominate force_ _they imagine themselves to be_ _. There are so many powerful beings whose existance is not accepted that it would be funny if the disbelief in them did not create situations as deadly as I have seen,_ Ranma thought.

“So why are the branes or series with human life called the “Related Worlds?” Ranma asked.

“Because they all have similar languages,” Hestia said.

“You mean that if I go to one of them, everybody will understand what I'm sayin'?”

“Only if you arrive on a part of the planet where Japanese is spoken all the time,” Thetis said.

“Even then, there would be marked differences in accent, syntax and diction, not to mention the numerous forms of slang and other such nomenclature,” Hestia said.

Ranma was already familiar with such vagaries of speech. He had encountered both Americans and Brits. Both spoke the same language, but he could barely understand either of them, and the way they tried to use Japanese varied dramatically as well.

“I ain't surprised by that,” Ranma said. “Go to Osaka and try talkin' to one of 'em. Or, better yet, go to Kyushu and try ta talk to the locals.”

The Goddesses again tittered.

“So where do Tengoku, Rengoku and Jigoku fit into this scheme?”

“They are contained in each and every brane according to the wishes of the local pantheons. Save for Series Ten and Eleven,” Thetis said.

“What makes those two exceptions?” Ranma asked.

“Well Series Eleven has but one planet Earth and there is but one authority there. He is called the Dright. All of the intelligent beings on that version of Earth are immortal. The legends about the Elves come from that series,” Hestia said.

“And Series Ten is dominated by the Goddess Asheth,” Thetis said. “She is the supreme being of that series and she allows no competition.”

“Rather a lot like YHWH, in that respect,” Hestia said.

“Yes, He very nearly became the dominate Diety on this world and several others in Series Twelve, didn't he?” Thetis said.

“Yes, he most certainly has, but that is changing now,” Hestia said.

“So which Earth is this one?” Ranma asked.

“Oh, this planet is in Series Twelve,” Thetis said.

“Earth H of Series Twelve,” Hestia said.

“And you guys have been where during the last two thousand years?” Ranma asked.

“Oh, we and the Norse Pantheon became dominate on the Series Twelve I version of Earth,” Hestia said quickly.

“Yes, we do not demand so much credit as YHWH does, either,” Thetis said. “We allow far more on the part of each individual.”

Ranma's mind went blank for a moment and then thought, _What they mean as that they don't help anyone as much as the other Pantheons do, or maybe I've got that wrong._

“No pain, no gain, you know,” Hestia said.

“Is there a version of Earth that does not have any Gods or magic?” Ranma asked. “I'd love to see it if it exists.”

“Yes, there is, son, Earth B in Series Twelve. It has to limp by without magic or Gods of any realism. Humans there are very short lived. Worse they suffer through vicious lives. They suffer from great violence among their numbers.”

“True, there is almost constant war on Earth Twelve B,” Hestia added. “The humans there have come very near total self-anihilation more than once.”

“Besides, in order to tavel to another version of planet Earth, you must have more than one life,” Thetis said.

“Yes, it is either that, or you must use a great deal of power to pull another version of yourself from another version Earth when you travel between the worlds,” Hestia said.

“And that dirsupts nearly everything every time,” Thetis said. “Would you like some saki, now?”

“No thanks, Mom,” Ranma said as he put his left elbow on the table and clapped his forehead with the hand on that same arm. “Would you please explain how I was born and why?”

Thetis and Hestia both froze up when he asked that question.


	8. I Go Blind When I Try to Find You

_Note: title taken from the refrain of a song by the group The Eastern Plain entitled I go Blind. You can find it on YouTube. Hooty and the Blowfish have a song out by the same title, but it is completely dissimilar to this one._

Nabiki found herself at war with herself. She was bored and disgusted. Whoever was in charge of the island had seen to it that she got intensive language instruction in Greek -- well -- the local version of that language anyway. Being quick on the uptake, she learned the Greek alphabet in a day. The grammar took her some time, but she could understand enough of it to take orders and make requests of her own in a week. Her routine was as regular as clockwork. Everything she did happened right on schedule right down to the minute.

She spent Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays working all day at the observatory complex. The pace there was demanding, but the worst of it was the cold and dryness at that elevation. The only thing she would have to keep her warm was the coat they issued to her upon arrival, but then she had to turn it in to the quartermaster at quitting time. She was immensely grateful to the drivers of the bus, there was more than one driver for some reason, because one of them would have the machine already warmed up as her and the other computers boarded it. And, the guards stopped cuffing her to the front post of the bus so that she could sit in the back.

She spent Tuesdays, Thursdays, a day called Apolloday, and Saturdays in one sort of class or another. For reasons that Nabiki did not understand, this place had eight day weeks. She got a half day off on what would have been Sundays at home. Tuesday, Thursday and Apolloday were all devoted to learning Greek. The half day on Sunday was the time she spent learning about traffic signs, how to walk in traffic, how to shop for food, which was a real nightmare in this place, and how to buy clothing, which was not so much of a nightmare because there were so few choices. All she could actually buy were the jump suits that she was required to wear at the detention center, or _M_ _órfosi_ _V_ _olikótit_ _a_ as it was called in Greek. Nabiki found it difficult to enunciate the name properly, so she gave in to temptation and just thought of it as the “detention center.”

She was surprised at the classes about shopping or walking around outside the detention center, but that was before she discovered that she was being paid for her work at the observatory. She was paid in tiny silver coins called _hemitetartemorions_. She thought that they had given her tiny beads the first time she got paid because when they handed her the soft leather bag, it looked to be full of silvery grit. It was only after she carefully examined individual pieces of the grit that she discovered that they were tiny little coins, each of them stamped with an image of the _satrápēs_ , or satraps, of Xiropigado Island. The satrap was essentially the governor of Xiripigados. He was not in charge of the mint. The mint was elsewhere, but Nabiki never found out where it was. She was told that the coins were made of pure silver by hand and, as far as she could tell, she had been told the truth. The coins had the dates that they were minted on their reverse sides, that way citizens would know which satrap was in charge of the island when the coins were minted.

 _Geez,_ she thought. _It's like living in ancient times. The only way you can know the face of the guy in charge is by looking at hand made portrait of him._ _Haven't seen a single photograph or even a television since I got here. The walls in town have lovely mosaics and there's mural or two, but beyond that, there's just no images to speak of. Come to think of it, all the music I've heard has been someone singing a song or playing an instrument. That's why this place is so quiet._

As she started to walk away from the pay window, a guard appeared and pointed down the hall. There she found another window where she was expected to pay her fines, but she had not brought her tickets with her.

Behind the barred window sat a stern looking woman in a blue and white checked jumpsuit. She spoke fairly good English, but had a thick accent.

“You neglected to bring your tickets, eh?” She asked in a dire tone.

Nabiki sighed. “I did not even realize that I would be paid until I got to the pay window in this place,” Nabiki said. She did a pretty good job of sounding contrite and did a fantastic job of tearing up. She even threw in a little chin quiver for good measure. “Please, don't fine me any more. I'll run to my cell and return here is quickly as I am allowed to.”

“Hmp! We do try to be fair here, Miss Tendo, strict but fair. I'll let you off this once. You have another day until you must pay these fines, but if you do not arrive here early tomorrow with your tickets in hand, I will add to your fines.”

The next day would be Sunday which alarmed Nabiki. “Will there be anyone here to take my money?”

“Of course,” the woman said with a derisive snort, “there's always someone available when money is due.”

“I'll be here then, and thank you for your mercy.”

“It's not mercy, Miss Tendo, it's justice. You will not find any mercy here.”'

 _No mercy indeed,_ Nabiki thought. _I have never been anywhere with such chickenshit rules that were so rigidly enforced as this little island._

What annoyed Nabiki to distraction was the complete lack of privacy. If she shit more than once in a day, or, if she shit at the wrong time of day, she got fined. There would be a guard standing at the door of her cell at the end of each day with a sheaf of tickets in her hand. Nabiki finally learned to get up, shit, shower and then shave her underarms. That made fairly good sense, but trimming her bush? Since when did anyone care about that? Apparently, whoever spied on everyone did, because she got fined once a week for “imperfect personal hygiene” if she failed to trim her bush.

The worst thing about all this nonsense is that it was never explained to her. She had to go by the titters she heard from her fellow prisoners -- er -- detainees -- er -- students. Every time Nabiki heard them titter, she knew that a fine was sure to follow. One day, she flung herself on her bed and had a good long cry about all the madness. A guard appeared at her door with yet another ticket. Nabiki had been fined: ONE TRIBOL FOR USING BED PRIOR TO DESIGNATED TIME.

A tribol, as Nabiki learned, was half a day's wages. She was being paid a grasp of obols, or six obols a day. That added up to the Greek drachma which weighed 4.3 grams in silver. There was also a two obol coin called the diobol, but it was a long time before she ever held one of those in her hand. The locals were superstitious about them, believing that they brought their owners bad luck.

She later learned that sitting at her desk and cupping her face in her hands was also an infraction for which minor (a _tritetartemorion or three hemitetartemorions_ ) fines were meted out. It was all very trying and, insofar as she could tell, it was endless. She simply could not do the simplest thing without it being noticed by the authorities. Whoever ran this place was practically omniscient. The place was plagued with an all-seeing eye.

The truly awful horror came round when her monthly flow started. Once again she found herself standing at a heavily barred window with yet another stern faced woman sitting behind it.

“Surely you must know what this is, Miss Tendo,” the woman said in a dire tone. “Couldn't you have said something before now?”

Nabiki once again used her “poor little me” act to sway the woman over to her side. “I've been through so much and everything is so new that I completely lost track and...”

The woman waived her hand for silence. “Here, use these the woman said, as she handed Nabiki bulky bag with straps on it. Be sure to change the sponges once every eight hours. Also, be sure to wash them and the pads by hand before you run out. We will not charge you for these, but you'll be required to pay for any additional supplies you might need.”

 _Fuck!_ Nabiki wanted to scream, but refrained. Such an outburst would have cost her a month's worth of pay. _I really am back in ancient times now. Wash this stuff? Why can't they hand out disposable supplies for this kind of thing? And they want to claim that this is paradise? Really? What happened here? Did the greenweenies launch a_ _coup d'état_ _and take over?_

Her being fined frequently led to her diet being changed. She had not realized that her meals were charged against her pay until she ran out of money to pay all the fines. The observatories only paid a drachma a day for her twelve hour shifts and once her guards discovered that she had more fines than she did income, her food tray started being served with fewer vegetables and fish. Mutton aplenty, however, was put on her tray along with mounds of parsnips and turnips.

Nabiki could tolerate the turnips. She had never even seen one before arriving on this benighted island, but she could eat a turnip. It was a lot like a very tasteless daikon. The textures of these two root vegetables were nearly the same, but parsnips? The first time she put a piece of parsnip in her mouth she nearly threw up.

 _Oh, yuck!_ Nabiki screamed in her mind as she spat the vile tasting bit of root and its juices out of her mouth. _What the fuck is this? Is it a joke? Why would anyone in their right mind bother to raise such a nasty tasting root?_

Much to her alarm, she discovered that she actually liked eating raw onion bulbs. In fact, she found that she could choke down bites of mutton provided she bit into a raw bulb of onion, then took a bite of roasted mutton, then chased the mutton with another bite at an onion bulb. It made her eyes water and her nose run, but it made surviving what the detention center and its guards thought of as a passable meal possible.

A month or so later, after she had passed a very long test on the local dialect of the Greek language, she received an invitation to what the invitation said would be an all girl party -- at the detention center's auditorium in the evening after the next Apolloday.

“Well, fuck a duck!” Nabiki exclaimed in English. “An all girls party a week from now. What a delightful treat! I simply can't wait to go there and be somebody. Wait, maybe they'll serve something with alcohol there. I guess I'll go ahead and attend their little shindig.”

The next morning, a guard arrived with a female tailor who carefully took Nabiki's measurements. After Nabiki had been measured, the guard and the tailor left without sayingg so much as a single word, despite all the questions Nabiki had asked in her very best Greek. Nabiki threw up her hands in disgust and was careful to sit on her tiny three legged stool rather than sprawling on her bunk the way she wanted to.

“Now I don't know if I was being measured for more clothing or for a coffin,” she said aloud. “This is the craziest place I have ever been to. Wait, that's not quite right Meido was -- No, I take that back. This place is actually worse than Meido. It's just more subtle. The torments of Meido were harsh but obvious, the torment here subtle, but even more harsh.”

 _What makes this place worse is that I have never been instructed in what is considered to be right and what is considered to be wrong,_ Nabiki thought. _I arrived in Meido knowing full well what to expect. I had been taught at an early age about it and why I would be punished there, but here? Nothing_ _that happens here_ _makes any sense. It just doesn't._

She got to her feet and started running through the first of the kata she was taught at age four. There was very little room in her tiny cell, so she had to truncate many of the moves in the kata, but she did finish them mentally. It was enough to clear her mind for a few minutes, so she went from the first kata to the second and after that the third. By the time she had done what she could remember of the very esoteric twelfth kata, she felt much better.

“I wonder what Daddy would think of me revealing his secret kata to an all-seeing eye?” Nabiki muttered. “He'd probably shit bricks and give himself a case of the piles.”

A day later she arrived at her cell only to find an off-white dress hanging from the headboard of her bunk.

“Oh, great!” Nabiki exclaimed in English. “Yet another excuse to fine me for something _completely_ accidental. I just know that thing will be easy to stain and the all-seeing eye will be delighted when it happens. I'll just bet your fingers are about to cramp from wanting to write me another ticket, aren't they, you evil shit of an overgrown spy!”

The following Apolloday seemed nearly interminable. Even for a studious person like Nabiki it turned out to be boring, but then, she had never been all that fond of grammar in the first place. There was so much dense minutia and detail that her mind tended to wonder. After the ordeal of Greek grammar taught in the most severe and boring way that it could be taught, she headed straight for the showers to get a second cleaning for the day. She fully expected a guard to show up at her cell door with yet another ticket, but that did not happen this time.

“Humph!” Nabiki harrumphed. “I suppose I would have gotten a ticket if I hadn't gone to the showers first. It's always hard to know what to expect on this nightmare of a prison.”

She doused herself in perfume. “It's funny that there is always plenty of perfume, there is never any deodorant in this joint,” Nabiki said. “Go figure that one out.”

All she had to wear under the dress was her panties and ill-fitting brassier. She put on a fresh pair of panties and a clean bra and then donned the dress. There was only the small mirror above the sink, so rather than preening in front of a floor length mirror they way she would have done back home, she brushed out her hair, which had grown out considerably since her arrival.

“If Ranma were to arrive here now, he would not recognize me,” Nabiki said aloud in Japanese. “I've lost weight and my hair's longer and that changes the looks of my face to the point where I can barely recognize myself in the mirror.”

A guard opened her cell door. Nabiki turned to see which guard it was. It was the dumpy redhead this time. The woman had fat cheeks and so many freckles that she was embarrassing to look at. Nabiki had not even attempted to become friendly with any of her guards. Well, at least not after the first try. She had been fined for such overt familiarity early on.

The guard stepped back and motioned for Nabiki to leave. Nabiki did so and forced herself not to hurry, just as she had done while attending Furinkan high school. If she had been running late, she arrived late, but in good order without so much as a drop of sweat anywhere on her body.

 _Being the Ice Queen worked for me back_ _at Furinkan,_ _and it's still the easiest fake I know now,_ Nabiki thought. _This is not a place where innovating is safe. Best I stick to what I know best._

She walked into the auditorium to find about a hundred other women there, varying in age from a couple of years younger than herself, to some who were decades older. None of them appeared to be especially friendly -- because women seldom are friendly with one another when they are strangers and in a hostile place like this prison.

 _Every one of us_ _is afraid of getting fined for something unknown that we cannot find out about_ _before hand_ _,_ Nabiki thought. _We're all walking on eggs in this miserable gathering of bitches and harridans._

She walked around scanning the elaborately table settings which, she understood, was not a good sign. It meant that the meal that they were about to consume would demand the very best etiquette that they had been taught, and ordinary etiquette here was more elaborate than a formal tea ceremony in Japan. There was at least a half drawer full of silverware at each place setting with three different types of stemware plus water tumblers. The plates were made of very fine China with a severely formal pattern done in blue on them.

 _It's going to be a very long night,_ Nabiki thought as she released a deep sigh. _This is going to be so stiff and formal that I doubt I'll even taste the mutton. It's going to be all form and no show tonight._

She finally found a setting with a card that had her name on it, or at least the Greek form of her name, Ναβικι Τενδο, and she sat down. There were no men to pull her chair out for her. She had been taught to wait for a “gentleman” to pull out her chair for her, but tonight there were only women in the room, so she pulled out her own chair and sat down.

The chair was made of sturdy wood with a plush dark blue velvet cushion in its seat and another dark blue cushion for its laddered wooden back. The wood appeared to be very fine grained, but she could not identify the species of tree that the wood had been made from. She had already grown accustomed to sitting in a western style chair without cushions while eating, and these chairs were the same ones that they ate in everyday, but these had velvet cushions on them.

“Nice way to be frugal,” Nabiki muttered. “I'll have to remember this trick.”

The tables were covered with heavy white linen cloth which was easily stained. Yet another annoyance for Nabiki.

 _I wonder how many of us will be fined for staining these tablecloths?_ Nabiki thought. _Probably nearly every one of us will. If I didn't know better, I'd say that this joint is being run by sadist bent on making as much money out of us poor tormented souls that have fallen into his grasp, but surely that isn't so. Since when do the Gods work for money?_ _Wait, maybe this place is like the hospitals back home. They bill the Powers That Be as well as their patients. A definite win-win -- for Them._

Two more women, one about ten years older than Nabiki on sitting on her left and another one, perhaps five years younger, sitting on her right. The older woman had what appeared to be naturally blue hair, not dark bluish black like Akane's, but a pure sky blue. She was well muscled and had what looked to be a permanent tan. The girl sitting on Nabiki's right had very strange hair that started out being gold at its roots, but was green by the time it got to its ends about half way down her back.

 _She ought to be fined just for that hair,_ Nabiki thought. _For all I know she_ _has_ _been fined for it. I mean, they have fined me for everything imaginable_ _and back home any self-respecting teacher would simply blast out of the classroom shrieking for the principle._ _So i_ _t's unlikely that this little girl has escaped_ _their_ _notice. She can stand out like a sore thumb anywhere, even in the middle of a circus._

“So, you must be the famous Nabiki Tendo,” the girl said to Nabiki as she stuck out her hand. “I'm Rainbow, Rainbow Blitzervagon.”

Nabiki grinned and took her offered hand. “You're from Germany, I presume?”

The girl giggled. “Close but no cigar. I'm from Austria.”

Nabiki laughed out loud. “Well, my guess was close then, wasn't it?”

“Not really,” the older lady with sky blue hair said. “Her Austria is on a completely different planet than my Germany is on.”

Nabiki stared at the woman in confusion while Rainbow started giggling.

“My name is Stella, Stella Holzfäller,” the older woman said with a fierce grin. It was then that Nabiki's blood ran cold. The muscles in Stella's upper body rippled the way Ranma's did as she stuck out her hand, but this woman was tall, like the Norsemen of old, and those people made Ranma look rather dwarfish.

“Pleased to meet you, Stella,” Nabiki said as she took Stella's hard hand in her own. She was ready to warm up to her dining companions.

“Why are you here?” Rainbow asked.

“I pissed off Acala by arriving in Meido in my physical body,” Nabiki said. “What about you?”

Rainbow was trying to sip water from her tumbler when Nabiki answered and she sputtered and winced, trying not to spray water everywhere. Stella burst out laughing.

“Wait a minute, you guys got sent here by the same Deity?” Nabiki asked.

Both of them nodded their heads, Rainbow was now choking.

“Son-of-a-Bitch!” Nabiki exclaimed. _Cursing in English is ever so much more satisfying that trying to curse in Japanese -- most of the time anyway,_ she thought.

“I guess if anyone would be fit to judge that, it would be us,” Stella said between laughs.

Rainbow was now crying _and_ choking.

“Are you going to be okay, Rainbow?” Stella asked in a concerned voice.

Rainbow's face had turned beet red; she swallowed finally and then sucked in a huge gasp of air. Her face faded from bright red to merely very pink.

“Ahem!” said a guard. He was holding three tickets in his hand. “Why is it that you cause trouble wherever you go, Miss Tendo?”

“Let me guess,” Nabiki said in a lazy voice, “all three of those are for me.”

“No, only one,” the blonde female guard said. “The other two are for these other ladies.”

Nabiki looked at the tickets and took the one with her name on it. The lady on either side of her each took their tickets. The guard then turned her back and disappeared.

“That was rude,” Stella said.

Rainbow could only grunt.

Nabiki read her ticket. FIVE OBOLS FOR BEING ROWDY IN PUBLIC.

“ _Kuso!_ ” Nabiki exclaimed in Japanese.

“Does that mean what I think it means?” Rainbow asked.

“Yes, it's the Japanese word for shit,” Stella said.

“So, you speak Japanese?” Nabiki asked.

“A little,” Stella answered. “Which Japan are you from -- which series I mean?”

“Which wha?” Nabiki asked. She was completely bumfuzzled by Stella's question.

“The universe has a great many so-called branes,” Rainbow said in a chirruping voice. “But there are only twelve branes with planets like Earth. They each have up to nine versions of Earth in them, save for Series Eleven. There's but one form of Earth in Series Eleven.”

Stella touched Nabiki's shoulder. Her hands felt like leather backed sandpaper to Nabiki's bare shoulder. “These divisions are caused by the nature of quantum mechanics. Should two contradictory events come up at the same time, another version of Earth is created.”

“There may even be more than nine versions of Earth in Series One,” Rainbow said. “The mages there are old and almost as powerful as the Gods.”

Stella snorted. “They're more powerful than the Gods. Series One doesn't have Gods. They were driven out of Series One by the Great Mages long ago.”

“Well, depending on how many planet Earths there are in Series One, that would mean that there are at least ten versions of Earth without any Gods at all.”

“Yes, Earth 12B,” is lacking magic and Gods as well, isn't it?”

“So how did you come to be here, then?” Stella asked Rainbow. “I thought that's where you came from.”

“Oh, I did,” Rainbow said brightly. “The only reason I'm here is because some other version of me jumped worlds and dragged me into _her_ mess that _she_ left behind.”

Chills ran up Nabiki's back and then reflected off the inside of the top of her skull and ran back down to the soles of her feet.

“Wait!” Nabiki said in a loud voice. “Let me get this straight. If you leave your version of Earth in the flesh, some other version of you gets pulled into your version of Earth?”

Stella and Rainbow nodded their heads.

Nabiki then made the mistake of planting both elbows on the table and burying her face in her palms. A guard the promptly popped up out of the floor with a ticket.

ONE HEMITETARTEMORION FOR BLATANTLY EXPRESSING DISMAY IN PUBLIC, the ticket read.

Nabiki's face turned beet red as snatched the ticket and the guard simply vanished. Stella and Rainbow burst out laughing.

“Still learning, I see,” Stella said.

“That's nothing,” Rainbow said. “I'm still trying to get the hang of this place too.”

Nabiki's inner tension suddenly dissipated and her blood pressure dropped. She stared at Stella with cold eyes and asked, “So, how long have you been here?”

Stella gave her a sardonic grin. “Almost a decade now, I think. I had a bad drinking habit when I first arrived. That made it hard for me to remember my first few years in this nightmare place.”

Nabiki turned to face Rainbow and Rainbow said, “I haven't been here that long, two perhaps three years at the most. I can't remember how long ago, and I failed to keep track. It's embarrassing.”

Nabiki then realized that she could not remember how long that she had been in this awful place. “Lemme guess, they fine you if you try to keep a written record, right?”

“Good girl!” Stella exclaimed.

“Brilliant,” Rainbow said with a sage nod of her head. “You get a gold star.”

Nabiki fought off the urge to clap her palm to her forehead and so pulled at an ear instead. “

I see,” she said. “Everything here is designed to destroy your ability to think.”

“Shh!” Stella hissed. “They might hear you. They have ears everywhere.”

“They?” Rainbow asked. “It seems like a single very powerful Being to me.”

Nabiki felt her ears perk up.

“Really?” Stella asked. “Can't see how that's possible.”

“It would be if the single being were vast, like a big tree or something.”

“Or a vast tangle of vines?” Nabiki asked. She had seen the same vine everywhere and had thought it to be bougainvillea, but she might have misidentified it. It grew everywhere, even in the cells where she was kept. “That vine with the violently colored bracts is everywhere, you know.”

Stella shrugged her shoulders indicating doubt, but Rainbow's shrug indicated maybe.

Nabiki then became aware that the table was filling up around them. And it was then that she also began to compare the clothing that each woman wore. Rainbow's clothing was a fair match for her own hair, as was Stella's. Nabiki sucked in a deep breath and stared at her reflection in one of the larger pieces of stemware. This particular piece looked big enough to be a brandy snifter. She could see her face and hair in it and, sure enough, her hair was off-white. It made her look older than she actually was and that made her grit her teeth to the point of getting a headache. She forced herself to relax immediately. Getting a headache always resulted in yet another fine -- which never helped her headaches.

Someone began tapping on a fine piece of stemware on one end of the table with something had to have been a small piece of wood. Dwing! Dwing! Dwing!

Nabiki looked to her right and gasped. She knew the woman at the head of the table. She had seen her mosaic image repeatedly, it was Miss Thanos who looked a good deal like the bad guy from the Marvel Cinematic Universe. She was jowly with a wide mouth, had curly iron gray hair and purplish looking skin. She even had the vertical wrinkle lines in her chin and and upper lip.

“You're attention please, Ladies,” Miss Thanos called out in a voice that was obviously sugar coated poison. “Attention!”

Chills ran up and down Nabiki's back. This was the first time she had ever heard the woman speak. Worse, Miss Thanos was wearing far more jewelry than Nabiki was comfortable with.

 _Thanos means “immortal” in Greek,_ Nabiki remembered. _I sure hope she doesn't have any infinity stones_ _mingled in_ _all that jewelry._

“Some of you have been to one of these gatherings and dinners before and know what is going on, but many of you are completely in the dark about this event. For those of you who are in the dark, you need to understand that we have found that mixing our undergraduates with people living off this campus makes for far less recidivism. In other words, if you are allowed to mingle with people from off campus, you are far more likely to succeed in leaving here permanently on your first attempt at becoming relatively independent. If not the first time, then most assuredly you will succeed on your second attempt at being more independent than you are now.”

Miss Thanos fell silent so that her words could sink in. They did sink in on Nabiki and she shuddered.

 _Second attempt?_ Nabiki asked herself. _What happens on_ _your_ _third try to get out of this place?_ _D_ _o you get locked into a cell and they throw away the key? Nah, that would be entirely too wasteful. They would likely just kill you so that they won't have to feed you._ _After all, there can only be just so many sheep and so many turnips._

“Now that you are in a calm and reflective mood,” Miss Thanos said, “I think it is time for us to tuck in. Waiters, you may serve the food now.”

Waiters wearing blue and white jump suits then appeared with heavy trays and began placing food on the tables. They delivered large bowls of salads first. At least three kinds of salads landed on the table that Nabiki sat at. She waited her turn and dug into one of them. Someone passed her a dressing and she poured onto her salad with great joy.

 _This is the very first time I have had a salad_ _here_ _that had tomatoes in it,_ Nabiki thought. _Tomatoes, little cubes of cheddar, diced green onion, sunflower seeds, little bits of red bell pepper, which is a good thing because I hate it when they put huge chunks of bell pepper into a salad, and loads of greens besides lettuce. This is very nearly a meal in its own right._

“So, Nabiki, when do you think you'll get out?” Stella asked.

“I don't actually know,” Nabiki said. “I haven't kept track of time properly since I arrived here. It won't be a matter of a few weeks I can tell you that. I still have too much to learn.”

Rainbow asked, “What will you do once you get out? Have a trade in mind?”

This led Nabiki to thinking about something beyond mere survival.

“Right now, I am computing for the observatory,” Nabiki said. “I don't know what I'll do after they let me out.”

Stella rolled her eyes and Rainbow looked nonplussed.

“What's wrong?” Nabiki asked.

“Nothing,” Stella said too quickly.

“Nope, nothing wrong at all,” Rainbow said in a voice that clearly meant that she was holding something back.

Nabiki pursed her lips for a few seconds, fighting with her emotions.

 _Time to get my ass into Ice Queen mode,_ she thought with a tinge of bitterness reverberating in her soul. _These bitches are not my friends and likely never will be._

“What do you do, Stella?” Nabiki asked.

“Oh, I'm what they call a sponge diver,” Stella said. “I go down in a diving suit and collect sponges from the bottom of the sea.”

“So that's why all the sponges seem so odd,” Nabiki said. “Back home, all we have are sponges that are made from artificial materials. Here they're natural and a girl has to use them for _everything_.”

This caused Stella to stare at Nabiki with a look of amusement.

“What do you do, Rainbow?”

“Oh, I make various small parts for a shop that produces musical instruments of all kinds. Right now, I'm specializing in making reeds.”

“I see,” Nabiki said. “All I know are the martial arts, which I have no talent for, and I can do various kinds of bookkeeping which I do have a talent for. I'm pretty good at arithmetic.”

Stella's face took on a look of scorn.

“D'ya think you could intimidate Miss Thanos?” Stella asked.

Nabiki glanced down the table and took a hard look at the indomitable purplish-pink bitch who sat there.

“I very seriously doubt that I could,” Nabiki said, meaning it.

“Then you should stick to bookkeeping,” Rainbow said.

“Yeah, you'll live longer,” Stella added.

“You should also strive to be less expressive,” Rainbow said in her chirruping voice. “You won't be fined nearly as much once you do that.”

“I think that I am beginning to understand that,” Nabiki said, then turned to Stella and asked, “What did you do back on your home world, Stella?”

“You don't really understand German, do you?”

“About as well as I understand Latin,” Nabiki said with genuine smile, “which is just about _mu --_ I mean -- zero. Why do you ask?”

“Because my last name means that I was a logger; I cut down trees for a living,” Stella said. “You should have heard what Acala had to say about that.”

“I can just imagine,” Nabiki said. “He got on to me for killing germs and bugs.”

Stella snorted derisively. “What did you say to him?”

“I told him that the only good parasite is a dead parasite and that he should move on to my other sins.”

“I sure wish that I had been there,” Rainbow said. “I would have loved to have seen his ugly face.”

“No, I don't think so,” Nabiki said. “He got so mad that he caught on fire.”

Stella burst out laughing and that was when the second course arrived at the tables. This course was some kind of white fish baked in butter with sliced almonds and was sitting on a bed of fragrant rice. It smelled heavenly to Nabiki, but Rainbow turned up her nose at it. Stella did not seem to mind and dug right in.

After tasting it, Nabiki asked, “What kind of fish is this? It's delicious.”

Stella had a ready explanation. “Well you see, this is not one of the Earths that we have been talking about. This planet is in Series One, but it's artificial. It's orbit is just a wee bit larger than that of Earth.”

“Yes, the Great Mages needed an entire world to imprison people on so they made this planet,” Rainbow said in her chirruping voice. "They named it Elysium, oddly enough."

Nabiki felt a sinking sensation in her stomach.

“Yeah, and all the animals here come from all over the Series of the Related Worlds plus some other places as well,” Stella said. “I think that the sponges must be the product of magic applied to genetics. They're much better than the sponges we get back home and they recover in the wild faster than ours did.”

“And the larger orbit explains why we must suffer eight days a week in this place,” Nabiki said.

 _Ranma may never be able to find me. He does not know where to look._ _Oh, hell! He may not even be able to get here at all. The Great Mages have driven all the Gods out of Series One._ _Why would the allow the likes of Saotome Ranma in?_

Nabiki remained silent through the rest of this course. She was struggling with her rising panic, afraid that she had made a first rate mess of things by doing what Hestia and Thetis wanted.

Then they brought out the third course, this one was a bird of some kind, but it most decidedly was not chicken. It was, however, delicious and Nabiki decided that spending the rest of her life here would not be so bad if only she could eat this every day.

“Man, whoever cooked this dish knew what they were doing with prairie chicken, didn't they?” Stella said.

“Sure did,” Rainbow said. “This is the best I think that I have ever had.”

“Prairie chicken?” Nabiki asked. “They're considered an endangered species on my version of Earth.”

Rainbow nodded her head. “On mine too, but it isn't true for every version of Earth in the Related Worlds.”

“Nah, here they raise 'em like they're ordinary chickens,” Stella said. “Magic applied to genetics again.”

“So, why is this first time I've been given this heavenly meat to eat?” Nabiki asked.

“Been feedin' ya a lot of mutton, haven't they?” Stella said with a knowing grin. “It'll get better after you develop some new habits.”

“Or you'll finally get used to eating mutton,” Rainbow said in an amused voice.

Nabiki was most decidedly not amused.

“What did you do before you were dragged off of your world, Rainbow-chan?”

“Oh, Daddy built race cars, didn't I tell you?”

“No, you didn't,” Nabiki said. Stella gave out a groan.

“Please don't get her started on cars and such,” Stella said. “She'll rattle on about them throughout the entire banquet.”

“I worked on cars all the time when I was little,” Rainbow said, “but they won't let me near one here. I can't understand why.”

“Probably because they know you'd do something disruptive if they did,” Stella said. “Some things simply must have magic used on them to make 'em work!”

“I don't have any magic,” Rainbow said. “Twelve B, remember? We have cars there too.”

Now, it was Nabiki's turn to snicker.

“I feel for you, Rainbow, I really do,” Nabiki said, “but I think that the cars here run on some fuel that is not from petroleum.”

“That's because you can't use electricity in places where there's a great deal of magic,” Stella said.

“Yeah, that explains why they use those junky glow plugs instead of spark plugs on this planet,” Rainbow said. “Every engine has to have an extra valve and camshaft just to use those stinking things.”

Nabiki was very keen on automobiles and, despite having no mechanical experience whatsoever, she understood a great deal about how they worked.

 _A car_ _can_ _carry you a distance in five minutes that would require you to walk for an hour. We can't all be_ _a_ _Saotome or even_ _a_ _Kuonji or a Kenzan,_ Nabiki thought. _They can just leap from the ground to the peak of a roof and then hop, skip and jump their way across entire neighborhoods. Us ordinary people have to trudge around on the streets and sidewalks. Cars are especially handy in the hilly places like Osaka. The one time I was there I got worn out from trudging up and down all those hills._ _Besides, all the best bathhouses were way down hill from my apartment. By the time got home, I needed another bath. I decided that the only way I will ever live in Osaka is if I am able to buy a car of my own._

“From what I have seen of the trucks and buses here, they all run just fine,” Nabiki said.

“You haven't been there when they first try to start them up,” Rainbow said, the she shuddered. “It takes almost twenty minutes to get one to start.”

Then, imitating Rainbow's chirp as best she could, Stella said, “And then it takes them over fifteen minutes to warm up! Their strokes are too long, their pistons are huge and they turn so damned slow that it's pathetic!”

“You're going to get fined if you keep that up, you know,” Rainbow said, glaring at Stella.

“Ladies, ladies,” Nabiki said, in an effort to be the peacemaker for once in her life, “the prairie chicken, remember?”

Both Stella and Rainbow giggled and covered their mouths, but by then it was too late. The same guard showed up once again with a round of two tickets, one for Stella, the other for Rainbow.

“Bu-bu-but, I didn't do anything!” Rainbow protested. “Why're you fining me?”

“Would you like another fine?” The guard asked, “Or would you prefer to show up in court early tomorrow?”

“Oh, never mind!” Rainbow exclaimed, doing her best to keep the aggravation out of her voice. “I'll take it. It's not worth all that much bother.”

Right after that imbroglio, the waiters brought out roast suckling pigs with sweet potato mash and small bowls of Waldorf salad. There were two types of Waldorf salad, red and green. Nabiki chose the red because she liked the flavor of red grapes better than she did the flavor of green grapes. Her salad had red oak leaf lettuce in it and she could tell by the flavor, that the apple was a red one as well. And, the walnuts were not off, but their flavor _was_ odd. It was much richer than normal. Nabiki decided that she would ask about them later.

They had started their guests off with the salads of course, the piglets with sweet potato mash came later. She even got a glass of sweet red wine to go with this dish. It was not the first cup of wine she had during this meal, but it was far better wine than they gave her at the observatory and it was not mulled. Now the alcohol was getting to her head.

 _Better go easy on the wine,_ Nabiki thought, _especially with two other women her pretending to be companionable. I might well reveal something that the local management would be interested in -- like Ranma rescuing me. Oh, nuts! He may never find me. It's unlikely that we will ever see each other ever again._

Rainbow was repelled by the roast piglet when the waiter set it down in front of her. Nabiki was curious and tugged on the hind leg of hers, and was shocked when it came away at the hip joint. What she then held between her fingers was a tiny ham with a flange of roasted skin sticking out around its edges. She tasted it. The taste was heavenly. Smoked ham. She had never tasted smoked ham. People in Japan did not smoke red meat. Now, she understood that she was on a trip that really and truly out of the world.

Stella dug into piglet with gusto, but she started with the cheek meats on hers. Nabiki decided to try the cheek piece nearest to her and was delighted with the flavor. It was far and away better than the little ham had been.

“Oh! Now I know you started with that tiny piece of meat, Stella,” Nabiki said. “It may well be the best thing I have ever put in my mouth.”

“Well,” Stella said, “it sure beats night sausage, that's for sure.”

Knowing what Stella meant by “night sausage” made Nabiki laugh.

“You were married before you came here?” Nabiki asked.

Stella frowned. “Three times. Two of my husbands died while logging. Felling trees is a dangerous business you know, and we have some very large trees on my version of Earth. We export our lumber all over our series.”

“And you got sent here while you were still married to your third husband?” Nabiki asked.

“Yes, and my memory is foggy,” Stella said. “I can't remember how or why I wound up in Meido in the first place. I do remember Acala's immediate reaction though. He sent me straight here without so much as a blink.”

“What was the mountain of thorns like for you?” Nabiki asked. “Did it have lacquer trees on it?”

“No, it was mostly just vines of numerous types, most of 'em with thorns, but there were one or two giant poison ivy vines mixed in. I was still itching when they put me in this so-called education center.”

Rainbow finally worked up the courage to sample the piglet that the waiter had set in front of her. She made a face and squealed with pleasure so intense that Stella and Nabiki alike giggled.

“Well, that seems to have been almost as good as sex for you, eh, Rainbow?” Stella asked with a knowing grin.

Rainbow sobered up suddenly. “I wouldn't know. I have never had sex.”

“Why not?” Nabiki asked. “Surely you're old enough to have had sex.”

“I never met anyone I wanted to have sex with,” Rainbow said. “All the men -- Wait! I never met any real men. They were all little boys. I could squash ten of them without even noticing.”

“What about you, Nabiki?” Rainbow asked. “Have you ever been married?”

Nabiki froze for a moment, then she inhaled a deep breath and said, “No, I was betrothed to a man -- are very manly man. We made love on a regular basis.”

Stella gave Nabiki a knowing grin. “Miss him much now?”

“I do,” Nabiki said. “Especially on rainy nights. I don't like to think about him anymore. Thinking about him makes me sad.”

Rainbow and Stella patted her on the shoulder at the same time.

“Don't be sad, Nabiki. You'll find someone soon.”

Stella nodded her head in agreement. “I'd say that it will likely be inside of two weeks if the management's pattern holds to what it has been in the past.”

“Oh, really?” Nabiki asked. “And what is that pattern?”

“Oh, in a couple of weeks you'll be invited to a party where both sexes are represented,” Rainbow said. “I didn't find anyone, but that doesn't mean that you won't.”

Stella laughed. “Rainbow has the Tom thumb and his four brothers act down to a science.”

“I do not!” Rainbow shouted. Her face was as red as paint.

“I don't,” Nabiki said. “Every time I use that option, I get fined. Spoils the mood.”

Rainbow giggled while Stella laughed uproariously. The other ladies at the table began to titter, which unnerved Nabiki. She turned her full attention to the roast piglet and the sweet potato mash. The mash was done to a turn, perfectly spiced and with just the right amount of butter in it.

 _Funny,_ Nabiki thought, _this is the first meal I have eaten here that has had any butter at all in it. All the other meals have had some sort of oil instead of butter._

“Nice break from all that mutton, huh, Nabiki?” Stella asked.

“Oh, don't you just know it!” Nabiki said with a sigh. She leaned back into her chair. “I could use a toothpick about now, though.”

To Nabiki's astonishment, Stella produced one from a little box she had in her pocket. “Here, use this one. You want one, Rainbow?”

Rainbow shook her head no. She was now wolfing down the roast piglet.

“She's trying to finish off her piglet before they bring out the beef entree,” Stella said. “I wonder which cut it will be this time. I'm thinking that it will be smoked brisket like the Texans cook.”

“Smoked what?” Nabiki asked.

“I'm hoping that they'll bring wheat bread this time instead of cornbread,” Stella said. “Not that I don't like cornbread, but I like wheat bread a lot better.”

“Asparagus or mashed white potatoes?” Rainbow asked.

“Mashed white potatoes with both butter and gravy,” Stella said.

“I like asparagus, personally,” Nabiki said.

“Oh, don't worry, we'll be getting as much of that as we can eat,” Stella said.

Rainbow nodded her head and added. “They grow lots and lots of it on the other side of this island.”

“They do?” Nabiki asked. “You mean this place gets enough cold weather for asparagus?”

Rainbow and Stella both nodded their heads, and that was when the waiters appeared with the beef course. As predicted, it was Texas style smoked brisket with mash potatoes and asparagus. The only seasoning on the asparagus was salt and pepper but it did have generous quantities of clarified butter poured on it.

This was the first time that Nabiki had ever tasted brisket of any kind. This particular cut was, and remains difficult to find any version of Japan. Also, most versions of Japan do not smoke any kind of red meat, so something that is smoked until it is done is a very exotic dish for them, and for Nabiki, this dish was astounding -- but not in a good way. She hated it. She did like the vegetables and the dry red wine that was served with it, but she could barely tolerate the smell of the brisket. It had been served in very thinly sliced cutlets so that it was at least tender, but she shuddered every time she even thought about putting a piece of it in her mouth.

Stella and Rainbow, on the other hand, when ate their portions with enthusiasm. When they asked Nabiki is they could share hers, she readily agreed.

“I don't know how you guys can get past the smell of this shit,” Nabiki said, “but if you want to eat it, I'm happy to let you have it.”

Also, when the brisket was brought out, small cups of orange sherbet were brought out as well. Nabiki noticed that everyone at the table would take a spoonful of sherbet while consuming the beef, so she tried it and was delighted.

“Next to the grilled piglet, this just about the best part of this entire banquet,” Nabiki said.

Almost immediately and guard appeared with a ticket in hand. It read: FINED ONE TETRADRACHMA FOR BEING RUDE AND UNGRATEFUL AT A PUBLIC GATHERING.

Nabiki rolled her eyes and took the ticket.

“Great! A month's pay gone in a single fine!” Nabiki exclaimed.

“So appeal this one,” Stella said in a relaxed voice.

“Yes, it's large enough to be certain,” Rainbow said. “You really should appeal it.”

Nabiki gave them both dubious stares. “You're sure it won't get me marked as a troublemaker?”

Stella cackled.

“You were considered a troublemaker even before you fell into the bay, silly,” Rainbow said. “Otherwise, you wouldn't be here at all.”

Nabiki thought about that for a minute.

 _I guess going to Meido in your living body is enough to qualify as a troublemaker,_ she thought. _At least Fudou Myou-ou seemed to think so. That is why he sent me here after all. What did he say about me? That I was even more slippery than Odysseus. And just think, I took that as a compliment._

“I see that you almost agree with us, Nabiki,” Stella said. “What's going through your mind?”

“Fudou Myou-ou said that I was even more slippery than Odysseus,” Nabiki said. “What did he say about you?”

Stella laughed and slapped her thigh, which made Nabiki wince. She had become so accustomed to being fined whenever she expressed an emotion that she feared that all three of them would be fined again and she could ill afford yet another fine.

“He said that I was as unruly and as unlucky as Heracles!”

Nabiki turned to rainbow and asked. “And what did he say about you, Rainbow-chan?”

Rainbow smiled prettily and said, “He called me a daughter of Eris.” Then she shuddered. “But I'm not.”

“He probably had you confused because of where you're from,” Stella said. “Your version of Earth doesn't have magic or Gods.”

“But that's simply not so!” Rainbow exclaimed. “We stopped most of the fighting after the atomic bomb was invented.”

Nabiki blinked. “Atomic bomb? What's that?”

“It's a type of weapon that can wipe out an entire city and keep right on killing long after it has exploded,” Stella said. "And the newer ones can kill an entire county, isn't that right, Rainbow?"

“Yes, it's truly awful what a nuke can do,” Rainbow agreed. “That's why we're learning to get along now.”

Stella gave her a derisive snort. “Yeah, killing each other or just letting people starve is really getting along!”

Rainbow gave out an exasperated sigh. “Well, from what I've seen? You guys do pretty much the same things that we have done. Worse, you have magic and people with multiple lives who can rise to positions of enormous power and, sometimes, those kinds of people are just as evil as our dictators were.”

“Don't be silly, Rainbow!” Stella said. “You still have evil dictators on your world.”

“Yes, we do, but we don't have dictators who are supported by magic!” Rainbow said. “I can't tell you how much magic frightens me.”

Nabiki sympathized with Rainbow. Her version of Earth had magic, but only a tiny few individuals, like Ranma, were capable of using it or were even ever affected by it.

 _How would it feel to have all your gold conjured away from your storage vault?_ Nabiki asked herself. _Not good, that's for sure. Wake up one morning and discover that you're broke and no way to trace the thief?_ Nabiki shuddered. _No unconscious guards and no witnesses? It's little wonder that people who do defensive magic make so much money in all these series that have serious magic in them._

Stella laughed at Rainbow, but that only made Rainbow angry.

“And you have yet to eliminate murder despite all your magical spells and enchantments,” Rainbow all but shouted. “Humans are the same everywhere, no matter what they rely on: technology, magic, or both. All of it gets abused by someone somewhere at some time.”

Stella gravely nodded her head. “I hafta agree with you on that, Rainbow.”

“But you also have the power to do something that we have always lacked,” Rainbow said.

“And what's that?” Nabiki asked.

“Look around, Nabiki! You guys have the power to destroy liberty. To us on my version of Earth, Liberty is the nearest thing to a Goddess as we have. You guys can mash Her under your thumb without even blinking.”

Nabiki felt her jaw drop. She could not muster a single word.

 _I know damned good and well how it feels to not have any liberty,_ she thought. _I've been living without trace of liberty since I was sent to Meido and once I arrived there, I was sent to this nightmare place by an ill-tempered Deva named Fudou Myou-ou. He's immortal, and I have but one short life and I don't have the liberty to live it. Ain't that a bitch!_ _If you meet a Buddha on the road, kill him. That is precisely what I must do. I must forget everything I have been taught about religion and start over from scratch._

The clatter of plates being removed from the table and being replaced by crystal bowls and silverware brought Nabiki's attention to the here and now. Stella and Rainbow were still arguing over the relative merits of magic and technology. Nabiki found herself on Rainbow's side. _Better to have technology and freedom than to have the chaos of magic and a lack of liberty._ She decided that being free was the most important value she had ever possessed.

 _Of course, if you don't live in a moral society, you can't enjoy your freedom. You're always afraid of your neighbor and what he might do to you._ _So, the Americans were right all along,_ Nabiki thought. It was as though there had been a very bright flash that revealed something that she had long been seeking: liberty and what it truly meant. _No, I will never free myself from the law of gravity or even the laws of thermodynamics. Not even magical people can get away with such a thing on a permanent basis. I'll bet that this is as true of the Gods as it is of us_ _mortals_ _, it's just that the Gods have a great deal more leeway than we mere mortals have. Are me and Ranma caught up in a squabble between the Holy Pantheons? Shit, this so fucking __dangerous_ _! How will we ever survive?_

The waiters were busily putting trays of assorted cheeses along with bowls of wine soaked fruits of various kinds. Some of them Nabiki had never seen before. There were both bananas and pawpaws, for crying out loud. Nabiki loved cheese and the trays distracted her from her clear thinking, but she would remember the revelations she had once she was alone in her cell. Nabiki was completely reformed that night.


	9. But I'll Find You.

_The title is_ _part of the refrain_ _f_ _rom the song I Go Blind_ _by The Eastern Plain._

Just as Stella had predicted, the next party, the one with members of both sexes invited, would occur eight weeks after the all girls banquet, only it was called a “ball,” which meant that there would not be a formal dinner. There would be a brief series of musical performances which would happen while serving of ορεκτικό or canapes. The serving of canapes would continue as the dancing started. The canapes would be served at a row of tables that one could visit between dances. Despite her sophisticated outlook on life, Nabiki had absolutely zero experience with such events.

The Japanese school system did not have such things as proms, dances and balls. Quite the opposite, in fact. The school system in her version of Japan did not encourage relationships between the sexes at all, then worried about the nation's falling birth rate. Yes, they did have sex education, but those classes were split between males and females and the sexes were encouraged to reject the attentions of the other. That was the official policy despite Japan's dramatic fall in population.

 _Little wonder about the sales of adult diapers approaching the same volume as baby diapers, huh?_ Nabiki thought as she sat at her desk reading and re-reading the invitation. _I'm surprised that I ever had sex at all back home. As wonderful as my first time was, it got better with practice, simply because Ranma had such manly stamina. He had done_ _his mother_ _proud_ _when it came to having sex_ _._

But neither of them had ever attended a dance such as this one. It simply was never allowed to happen in the Japanese school system. Japan's political leadership felt that learning from books was far too important to be clouded by human hormones, so the schools did their absolute best to keep their students focused on their studies, not each other. They felt like the human sex drive had to be discouraged in every way possible and that is what they accomplished .

Which meant that Nabiki had little to no experience with this kind of socializing and neither did any other young adult that Nabiki knew. All of them had been sexually oppressed by the entire system of education.

“That's something we gotta fix when I get home,” Nabiki whispered to herself. “Bringing up kids to be monks and nuns is not a good way to encourage an increase in population. It is clearly the opposite.”

 _Maybe this is what I was sent here to learn,_ Nabiki thought. _I gotta learn all the polite ways to get along with members of the opposite sex, including letting them down easy. That never happened in Japan. We girls just fed guys big doses of cold shoulder_ _between slashing insults_ _until they left us alone. We were never allowed to use any form of birth control, either._ _Readily available b_ _irth control would have likely led to an increase in population for my home country, as contradictory as that sounds._

The guard showed up with a seamstress in tow just as she did the last time, but this seamstress eyed Nabiki's bra and had a fit.

“Why are you wearing that ill fitting thing?” She asked in Greek.

“This awful thing is what your people gave me to wear ,” Nabiki said. “Every bra I now have fits me like this one.”

The Seamstress shuddered and shook her head.

“I don't know how you have put up with them this long.”

Then she measured Nabiki's bust very carefully.

“The dress you're going to wear will look awful if you wear a bra that fits like that one .”

“Do you have a picture of it?” Nabiki asked. “The last dress I wore to one of these formal dinners was off-white and did not flatter me at all.”

“This one will,” Seamstress replied. “There will be men there as well as other women. You will be expected to dance with as many of them as you can and go on walks through the gardens between the dances with at least two.”

Nabiki groaned.

“You come from an odd culture, you know that, don't you?”

“I am from Japan,” Nabiki said. “ Don't ask me which Japan, because I don't have a clue.”

“We suspect that you are from series 12 Earth H,” Seamstress said, “which will not enlighten you very much. Do you know what an atomic bomb is?”

“Didn't have a clue about such a thing until I met Stella and Rainbow at that _ranchikisawagi_ \-- I mean -- girl's night out bash ,” Nabiki said.

“So, nuclear weapons were never used on your planet?”

“Not that I know of,” Nabiki said. “We did get fire bombed rather heavily during the second world war. Tokyo burned to the ground in a single week, as did several other large cities, especially the major ports.”

“Well, that means you are from 12H, then,” Seamstress said. “I think I'll make you a bralette. This dress is going to have a plunging neckline.”

“What color are you going to make it?” Nabiki asked.

“I was planning on chocolate brown, but now that I have seen the color of your skin and hair , I don't think that is a good idea. Oh, I know! pumpkin orange would work perfectly on you. By the way, we shall dress your hair this morning. ”

Nabiki felt her doubts show up in her face.

“Oh, don't worry,” Seamstress said. “After my team and I are done, you'll look gorgeous. I might even throw in something bright green -- emeralds and diamonds? No, pearls and jade. No, mutton fat nephrite combined with imperial green jadeite . Never mind, I shall put my arts team to work on the jewelry you'll be wearing. I'll have them do three versions and we'll pick the best of the lot.”

 _Nabiki was appalled._ _Gotta work on my Ice Queen act. I'm out of practice._ _We Japanese aren't all that keen on such stuff. I don't know how I can get out of this, though. I don't want to look like a Western slut -- well -- I would if Ranma wanted me to, but he's not here._

“I don't want anything that will take me a lifetime or two to pay off, you know.”

Seamstress shook her head.

“Don't worry about the costs. Your jewelry and formal clothing will be paid for by the government.”

Nabiki was taken aback by this, then she thought about the last formal affair that she had been “invited” to.'

“That's right! I never got a bill for that last outfit that was made for me. Why is that?”

“Because the Powers that Be feel responsible for your welfare,” Seamstress said. “How can you be healthy if you cannot socialize?”

Nabiki was once again taken aback.

“I never thought of socializing as being a part of my health.”

“Well, it is. Do the Japanese live aloof from one another?”

“No, we're mostly one great big hive of very busy buzzing bees ,” Nabiki said with a grimace. “There is little room for individuality in Japanese culture.”

“So you do not quite fit in at home, do you?”

“Oh, I fit in well enough, but I was still different from most. Why do you ask?”

“Because you seemed surprised that being social is part of being healthy.”

“Back home teaching social skills was left to your parents, not something that the government did to you. My parents were conservative to the point of being backward.”

“Well here on Elysium, we are all formally trained on what to do in social situations, which is why we have formal classes in etiquette in school.”

“Oh, that explains the classes in etiquette I had to take since I landed here then, doesn't it? ”

“ And, most of the fines you've had to pay , I suspect ,” Seamstress said as she made the last measurement on Nabiki. “There, all done.”

Then, another person dressed in a brown jumpsuit arrived carrying what appeared to be an exceedingly comfortable chair and he was accompanied by woman wearing solid blue clothing that looked distressingly like surgical scrubs, but it turned out that she was a barber-hairdresser.

“Sit here please, Miss Tendo,” the hairdresser said. “We need to do a quick trim and then we can decide on your hairstyle.”

Nabiki's brain churned as she sat down in the chair. She was so preoccupied that she barely glanced at the newly arrived red head.

 _That was a very interesting conversation,_ Nabiki thought. _I don't quite know what to make of it. Is the government here in charge of everything? It must be. They even know how often I sit on the pot, for crying out loud. I may as well have gone to hell, given how_ _strictly_ _this place is governed._ _Going back to stuffy old Japan will be a relief after having lived among all these stuffed shirts!_

The hairdresser and the seamstress started a discussion about Nabiki and what to do with her hair.

“I think that something shorter than what she has now, would be better,” the seamstress said.

The hairdresser nodded her head. “I'm thinking that a bob of some sort would be best.”

“Yes, something that would frame her face.”

“I think I have an idea about what to do about her hair, but what about her eye color?”

“Oh, we'll come up with some cosmetic contacts for that,” the seamstress said.

 _Okay, I'm starting feel like a piece of furniture,_ Nabiki thought. _They're talking about me as though I'm not here._

“What do you think, Miss Tendo,” the hairdresser asked.

“Well, I have worn my hair short for most of my life,” Nabiki said as she ran her fingers through her locks at her shoulders . She was relieved that one of the women asked her for an opinion. “I used to keep it what was called a swing cut.”

“Did that cut frame your face?” The seamstress asked.

Nabiki nodded her head.

“Very well then, we'll shorten your hair up and give you a tight bob,” the hairdresser said. “It won't take me long.”

Then the hairdresser went to work with scissors and comb and after she stopped, Nabiki had the best looking hair that she had ever had in her life. She simply could not stop staring at her reflection. Her hair was now smooth and shiny, almost like a helmet.

“Yes, that is magnificent!” The Seamstress exclaimed. “Now I have an idea about what to do for your jewelry.”

“Satisfied, my dear?” The hairdresser asked.

“Yes, thank you,” Nabiki said in an excited voice. “I don't remember ever looking this good.”

“You'll look much better after you have your makeup done,” the hairdresser said and the seamstress nodded her head.

“You wanna see the back, Miss Tendo?” The hairdresser asked.

“Certainly, though I can't believe that it will be anything less than perfect given what I have seen so far,” Nabiki said.

The hairdresser handed Nabiki a handheld mirror and then spun her chair around so that she could use the hand mirror and the mounted mirror to see the back of her head. Nabiki inspected her reflection carefully then put the hand mirror down in her lap. She could now see the hairdresser's face for the very first time since she had entered Nabiki's cell.

“You did a fantast ... Wait a minute!” Nabiki shouted. She had just gotten the shock of her life. “You look just like someone very dear to me back home.”

“Yeah? Where are ya from?” The hairdresser asked. “I'm from a very peculiar place.”

“She's from the Japan on Earth 12H, dear,” the seamstress interjected. “She doesn't know anything about nuclear weapons.”

“Oh, I get it. Ya see, Miss Tendo, I'm from the Japan of Earth 3H,” the hairdresser said. “ My Japan was conquered by the United States.”

“We managed to fight the Americans to a draw ...” Nabiki's voice slowly faded into silence.

“ Fightn' to a draw ain't nothin' like being conquered,” the hairdresser said. “My Japan became the fifty-first through the fifty-seventh states of the United States. It was that or become part of Russia. ”

This very nearly stopped Nabiki's heart. She felt chills start at the soles of her feet, then swarm up her legs, through her torso then making her scalp tingle with cold.

 _Oh, no! Daddy would never have been able to cope with that,_ Nabiki thought _._ _Besides, this young woman is the spitting image of Ranma when he's cursed._ _The only difference_ _her and Ranma's girl side_ _is the way she keeps her hair._ _Argh! I can't even explain that to her. It would warn the local authorities about Ranma's existence._

“I...see... I think,” Nabiki stammered. “How do you like being a citizen of the United States?”

“It can have its bad days,” the hairdresser said, “but it has been mostly good. It was not nearly as hard on me as it was my parents. My mother was so old fashioned that she never did adapt. I think that was part of what killed her.”

“I am sorry for your loss,” Nabiki said, meaning it. “ Did you ever meet any of the Tendo family in your Japan?”

The red headed hairdresser shook her lovely head.

Her eyes are just as blue as Ranma's, but she is also completely free of freckles which means she never gets out into the sun, Nabiki thought.

“Do you know my mother's counterpart back home?” the hairdresser asked.

“Yes, and she is very old-fashioned as well,” Nabiki said. “I don't know what becoming an American would do to her. I don't even like to think what that would do to Daddy. How did you arrive here?”

The hairdresser got a goofy grin on her face. “The same as you. They picked me up in the harbor.”

“So you visited...”

“Yeah, I've been to Meido,” the hairdresser said with a shudder. “I never wanna go there again either.”

“How did you manage it?” Nabiki asked.

“I very nearly died for real on the way,” the hairdresser said with a genuine shiver. “I still wake up some mornings thinking that all this is a nightmare, so don't ask me to explain. I can't remember why I descended so close to hell in the first place .”

“I'm sorry,” Nabiki said. “I didn't mean to upset you.”

“Oh, don't be sorry,” the hairdresser said. “I enjoyed meeting you. It's not every day that I get to meet someone from an alternative version of my homeland.”

“Yeah, that is sort of neat, isn't it?” Nabiki said.

The hairdresser started gathering up her tools and things. She had a wary eye on the seamstress and was suddenly nervous for some reason.

“How did you get here...Houkou-san?” Nabiki asked.

The middle age woman cackled at this.

“I was born right here on Elysium,” she said. “My great great grandparents were among the first colonists to settle on this planet.”

“Oh,” Nabiki said.

“Now you're wondering how they got here and how far this planet is from Earth, right?”

“I suppose I would have gotten around to those questions eventually,” Nabiki said. “On my version of Earth, all we have ever done is to send a small manned mission to the moon and a few small mechanized probes to the other planets.”

“Well, interstellar travel is possible in this brane of the universe, but it takes a great deal of heavy duty magic, ” Seamstress said. “This planet was found by accident and was quickly colonized after it was discovered. That was about a hundred years ago now .”

The hairdresser left and Nabiki could not help but stare at her butt.

“Nice ass, huh?” The seamstress said.

“Yeah, I wish mine was that cute,” Nabiki said in an absent minded voice. “For that matter, I wish I had a bust like hers as well.”

The seamstress laughed once again.

“You have more than enough boobage as it is, Miss Tendo. Any more and you'd have too much of a good thing.”

“How can you make that claim?” Nabiki asked in a horrified voice. “That's not possible.”

“Ever take a hard look at Miss Thanos?”

Nabiki paused to draw the redoubtable Thanos from her memory, then said, “Okay, I get your point.”

“Here,” the seamstress said as she handed Nabiki an old fashioned fan. It was made of parchment paper and turtle shell. Turtle shell had been made illegal in Nabiki's version of Japan well before she had been born, so this one fascinated her.

“Nice piece!" Nabiki exclaimed. "Is it magical?”

“No, but you'll find it handy at the ball,” the seamstress said. “You'll be getting the whole next month off. You're going to be taking dance lessons every day all day.”

“Hah! Sounds like fun to me,” Nabiki said. “I hate working up at the observatory. It's cold and the air's way too thin.”

“That's why we reserved living quarters for you near the observatory ,” the seamstress said. “When you get out of here, you'll be moved into them . It'll take you while, but they are at low enough altitude that you will adapt.”

Nabiki shivered at the very thought.

“Thanks, you _really_ made my day.”

“Not a problem,” the seamstress said with a knowing grin. “Open that fan.”

Nabiki opened it. One side of its parchment had a panoramic picture of a ballroom on it, but the inside had a list of dances in each cell with a space to write the names of her dance partners. There were three spaces per dance.

“So, you want me to keep records of who I dance with?” Nabiki was annoyed by this _._ _It's enough that watch what I do all the time here, she thought. Now they want in on my love life as well?_

“Well it is a fine old tradition all the way across the related worlds, after all,” the seamstress said. “That fan was given to you should you want to stick to that tradition. You'll not be required to report anything. The fan is yours to keep.”

 _Of course they don't need a report from me, they'll be watching,_ Nabiki thought. “Where is this party going to take place?”

“At the governor's mansion on the other side of the island,” Seamstress said. “It has a huge ballroom. The ferry terminal is nice too. There's always a procession between the terminal and the ballroom.”

The next week seemed to have gone by in flash. When Nabiki woke on the morning of the next Apolloday, the red headed guard was standing at Nabiki's cell door with Seamstress in tow.

“Good morning, Ms. Tendo,” the Seamstress said. She sounded like a bird during the early spring despite it being in the start of fall.

 _Well,_ Nabiki thought. _The weather is getting colder so it must be fall. _

_Mo_ st of the trees had shed their leaves and it was considerably cooler. The only thing left with even a hint of green in it was the ubiquitous Bougainvillea. Another person, a man in a brown jumpsuit, came forward carrying a full length mirror.

Nabiki stepped aside to let him into her cage. She looked the guard in the eye and said, “You will have to excuse me, but I really and truly need to go to bathroom.”

Both the guard and Seamstress nodded their heads in unison, but the young man pretended that he had not heard. He stayed busy mounting the mirror one side of Nabiki's cell.

After Nabiki returned from the baths, the man and the guard were gone.

“I suppose I'm a trustee, now?” Nabiki asked.

Seamstress smiled and nodded her head.

“Where would you run if you did decide to escape?”

“Oh, I don't know,” Nabiki said in a speculative voice. ” I'd probably have to find a cave somewhere and then start robbing people.”

Seamstress giggled.

“Has that actually crossed your mind?”

“Only when they put mutton alongside parsnips on my plate.”

Seamstress threw her head back and howled with laughter.

“Well, at least you can joke about it,” Seamstress said as she wiped at her right eye. “Most newcomers need at least a year before their sense of humor returns.”

_“Who said that I was kidding?” Nabiki asked with a sly grin creeping across her face. “Do you like mutton and parsnips?”_

_Seamstress shuddered. “Oh, Mages no! I_ _can't_ _even bear to smell that stuff.”_

 _“_ What about turnips?”

“Oh, they're fine, but I really prefer beets. They have some real flavor to them,” Seamstress said as she made a gag and puke sign.

Nabiki laughed out loud.

About that time, an assistant dressed in a blue and white checked jumpsuit arrived pushing a cart laden with boxes. She pushed the cart inside the cell and left without as much as saying a single word.

Nabiki stepped to one side and stared at the boxes for a moment, then reached out tentatively toward one of them.

“That'll have your new bralettes in it,” Seamstress said to Nabiki. “You should open it and have a look.”

So, Nabiki did. Her newly made bralettes were breathtakingly beautiful lace and fit quite well -- all of eight of them . She was so surprised, that she could not wait to get fully dressed, so she and Seamstress got her dressed. Once they had put the rest of her new undergarments and her dress on, Nabiki stared hard at the mirror for a long time.

“Okay,” Nabiki said in Greek as she pointed at the mirror, “Who's the rich bitch in the looking glass and what did you do with me ?”

Seamstress all but screamed with laughter.

“It does look good, doesn't it?”

“I'll say!”

 _“_ _But I'm not done with you yet, πολύτιμος (Greek for 'precious'),” Seamstress said as she stepped up behind Nabiki and placed her hands on Nabiki's shoulders. “If you think you are impressive now, look in the mirror again once_ _I_ _have_ _finished_ _with you.”_

Once Seamstress was satisfied with the way Nabiki looked, she sat down on Nabiki's bunk.

“You are astonishing, Miss Tendo,” Seamstress said. “Please do my work justice at the gala.”

Nabiki looked in the mirror, but could not believe her eyes.

 _That's not me,_ Nabiki thought. _It can't be. I'm thin and gawky, not thin and elegant. Oh sure, I did my best when I was attending Furinkan, but I never...looked anything like this._

“Would you mind if I called you Merryweather, Houkou-san?”

Seamstress suddenly got a concerned look on her face.

“Is that how you actually think of me, Miss Tendo? What does “merryweather” mean?”

“Merryweather was one of three good fairy godmothers to a Princess Aurora ,” Nabiki said. “ She had been born into a royal family, but she had been cursed. If she ever pricked her finger on a spindle, she would fall asleep and never wake until a handsome prince came along and kissed her.”

“So, you think of yourself as this Princess?”

“Sort of,” Nabiki said in a sad voice. “For me it was the death of my mother that put me to sleep, and the handsome prince who came along was supposed to marry my youngest sister.”

Seamstress thought about this for a moment and then asked, “So what happened to your sister?”

Nabiki did not cry. The familiar grip of the old ice ringed itself around her heart again. She simply shivered as she felt it as it settled in her chest .

“She turned into a phoenix and ascended to heaven,” Nabiki said. “ My elder sister had already started having a fling with the God Hermes, so I was the only one left for Ranma to bond with.”

“I see," Seamstress said. "I would greatly appreciate it if you would refrain from calling me by the name of one of the Fey,” Seamstress said, “even a Fey in a piece of fiction. That story is ancient and there might well be a Fey named Merryweather. Call me by the Japanese title you gave me instead if that pleases you . It would be safer for both of us.”

“Houkou-san translates as Miss Seamstress,” Nabiki said. “It's every bit as objectifying as reducing someone to the status of a sewing machine, you know?”

“Being reduced to the status of a mere machine is the polite norm hereabouts, and it's a vastly safer than accepting the name of a Fey as a name for myself . Besides, once you get out, you'll be allowed to call me by my given name. ”

“As you wish, but it seems terribly rude of me to treat you that way,” Nabiki said as she turned back to the mirror. “You put your heart and soul into this get up. I had no idea that I could be beautiful.”

Houkou-san laughed.

“You were beautiful the day you plunged into the bay, Miss Tendo,” Houkou-san said. “You simply were not aware of it.”

“Then why was everyone so fascinated by my sisters and not me?”

“I have never met your sisters, but if they are more beautiful than you, then they must be truly exceptional.”

Nabiki laughed.

“My elder sister was, at one time, the perfect candidate to become a devoted wife, but my father failed to find a suitable match for her and she took up with the God Hermes. My younger sister was even more beautiful but ... well ... passionate and temperamental to say the least, but then she died for the second time she ran off with a bunch of yokai and became a phoenix. Does that strike you as being odd? Do you think that I am lying to you about them?”

“No, and no,” Seamstress said. “But it does make your family exceptional. How many people do you know who have been to Meido in their flesh?”

This brought Nabiki up short.

“Before I arrived here? No one.”

“See? You should just take advantage of the opportunities the universe hands you and move on with your life. You'll live a long time here. We have cures for just about ever imaginable sickness.”

“Oh, really? Do you guys have a cure for a Jusenkyou curse?”

“Okay, you picked the one of the few afflictions that we cannot cure. That happens to be a self reinforcing spell. The victim literally imposes it on himself. It's more of a psycho-magical affliction than an infectious one.”

“So you've heard of Jusenkyou and its curses then.”

“Yes, certainly,” Seamstress said. “What made you bring that up?”

“I know several people who suffer from the affects of Jusenkyou.”

“Well, that form of curse is not easily cured.”

But Nabiki's ever restless mind had already moved on. “Who pays?”

“What do you mean?”

“Who pays for all this miraculous medicine?”

 _“Oh, that! No one pays. All you need to do is to live by our rules and you will be treated_ _free of_ _charge. Just as you are about to go to this party and all your clothing and jewelry are for free. All you need to do, my dear, is to be able to dance. Do you know how to dance?”_

 _Well,_ Nabiki thought, _some of us sneaked into a night club one time. All I saw was people standing on the dance floor doing random gyrations_ _while standing in one spot_ _._

“I can do a few kata, does that count?”

“Kata? Is that a dance?”

“No, kata are practice forms for the martial arts. My school of martial arts has an even dozen of them.”

“So, you've never waltzed or done the foxtrot?”

“No, only heard about them and watched people at balls on television.”

“What's telvision?”

“You don't have it here because you guys can't use electricity.”

Nabiki tried to explain television in detail, but stopped when Seamstress's eyes started to glaze over.

“So, what you are telling me is that you can be anywhere on a planet and you can watch other people going about their daily affairs on that same planet by staring into a box?”

“Yes, provided there is someone at the location being observed with the proper equipment.”

“How curious!” Seamstress exclaimed, “but that will not be a problem for you here. You'll be attending dance classes starting in a few days, and then you'll be able to go dancing for yourself. That's way better than living your life vicariously by observing other people in a box . ”

Nabiki found this observation amusing in the extreme. She laughed so hard that she actually got tears in her eyes.

“I didn't think what I said was all that amusing,” Seamstress said.

“Oh, taken alone it wasn't,” Nabiki said as she wiped at her eyes with the back of both hands, “but it's as funny as hell when you look at it from my perspective.”

“Oh, really? What is your perspective, then?”

“Oh, well, I came from a version of Japan. My society, you see, places great emphasis on order, neatness and being polite. In fact, they put those values ahead of all others. I mostly complied with those values and where did I get sent? Oh, that's right, Meido. The place next door to hell and damnation. The very life I lived infuriated a self-righteous and judgmental deity named Fudou Myou-ou. He told me to come here and I had no choice but to comply with His wishes. Worse, He described this place right down to its ground. It is orderly. It is very neat. It is even sensitive to environmental concerns and I am watched every second of every day. If I indulge in the very least infraction of the rules here, I get fined. Yet, you guys pay for my hygiene needs, my medical care and see after my social needs up to and including my sex life.”

“And why does that make you laugh?”

“How does all of it get paid for and who pays for it?” Nabiki asked. “Don't try to bullshit me because I have kept books before and I know all too well what I am talking about. Nothing comes from nothing. If you are going to eat, you must produce it first. To do that you must find materials and add your labor to them. That is what makes bookkeeping necessary. Most people grow up not understanding that. My father never understood it. He was a wastrel thanks to his ignorance. So, please do explain how this society works. No one here, as far as I know, pays taxes of any kind.”

“But you do pay fines you realize, Miss Tendo. Those fines are what pay for things like your hygiene, medical care and this clothing you are about to wear to this grand party at the governor's mansion. They will even pay for your dance lessons and they pay most of the salaries in this society, including yours. ”

“ So, if I am very scrupulous and am very strict about obeying all the rules right down to the letter, I am free to do as I please and never pay for any of it , right?”

“Of course you are,” Seamstress said, “and you get to keep all your money if you manage to adhere to every established rule -- except what you spend on food, of course. ”

“But, these rules are not published, are they?”

“No, they are taught to people through their experiences,” Seamstress said. “Experience is how people truly learn their lessons down to the very bone, you know. Of course, natives such as myself have an enormous advantage over draftees like you. We grow up here and absorb the rules as part of our upbringing and schooling. ”

“And you don't know about anything different, do you?”

Seamstress shook her head.

 _Well, I can't argue with her,_ Nabiki thought. _This nightmare is what she has grown up with. Her mind is already set and no matter what I say, she won't change it_ _because changing it would require her to rethink everything she knows_ _or think_ _s_ _she knows_ _._ _No wonder differing cultures have a difficult time getting along. So much for diversity being a strength._

“I guess I'll just have to learn how to live with it then,” Nabiki said. “How long do people live here, anyway?”

“Oh, well, in your case, you'll almost certainly live until something kills you,” Seamstress said. “We will soon inoculate you against nearly any disease, but we aren't so good at fixing damage done to your body by an accident or by an attempt at assassination.”

 _Now I'm wondering why I still want to leave this place,_ Nabiki thought. _I could stay here and live practically forever, provided I was very careful, or I might be able to escape and be free again. I wonder what the rate of suicide is on this planet? Don't ask that, Nabiki. Just wait around until Ranma shows up. You know he  won't give in._

“Are all the other worlds in this series like Elysium?” Nabiki asked.

“Oh, my word no!” Seamstress exclaimed. “All the other worlds are hag ridden by traditions and politics. Elysium's social order was built from scratch in accordance with the latest in philosophical thought.”

 _Okay, I give up,_ Nabiki thought. _There is no way I could ever persuade her that this place sucks great big green weenies._ _And what difference would it make if I did convince her? She is but a lowly seamstress; a mere laborer. Making serious changes to this society is going to take some truly drastic measures. I need to focus on getting along in it until Ranma gets here._

“So, when do I start these dance lessons?” Nabiki asked in a cheerfully decided voice. This sudden about face by Nabiki seemed to have taken Seamstress aback, but she recovered quickly enough.

“Oh, but you'll have to take your inoculations first,” she said. “You'll need a full week to recover from them. Then you will take dancing lessons.”

“When is this party taking place?” Nabiki asked. “I thought it would be real soon.”

“Oh, it will be soon,” Seamstress said, “it's always the second week of the tenth month. This is the last week of the eighth month.”

“How many months are there in a year on this planet,” Nabiki asked. She had never thought to ask this question before, but then she had never thought of the universe as being the way she had discovered it to be either.

“Thirteen.”

“The days are longer as well, aren't they?”

“Yes. On all the known versions of Earth, the day is something very close to twenty-four hours in length, but Elysium's day is thirty hours long relative to a day on Earth .”

“No wonder this place is unbearably hot in the summer,” Nabiki said .

“And you'll soon see how cold it gets in winter,” Seamstress said. “During the heart of winter the harbor ices over. Most of the ice is thin, but the surface of the sea does ice up."

Nabiki filed this information away mentally for future reference.

“When can I receive this inoculation you've been telling me about?”

“Oh, that could happen today if you want.”

“I'd like to have it done as soon as you can arrange it. I like to get misery out of my way as quickly as possible.”

“Very well, I'll let the right person know and she'll arrange transportation for you.”

“I gather that it is too far for me to walk.”

“Yes, well, it's twenty-four stadia away. You would not want to walk that far and you certainly won't walk back here after your inoculation.”

“Side effects, right?”

“Oh, most certainly,” Seamstress in a sincere tone, "but it's much harder on men that it is on us women. We women are able to εμμηνορροώ. Men aren't.”

“Oh, really?” Nabiki asked. “You mean this inoculation will induce me into having a period?”

“Yes, that is what I meant by εμμηνορροώ,” Seamstress said. “The Medical Mages usually wait until after a girl has had her third or fourth cycle before giving her an inoculation for longevity, but boys are given their inoculations as soon as their Medical Mage thinks that they are strong enough to deal with it.”

“Sounds rough.”

“ It _is_ rough, but just think of what it will do for you,” Seamstress said. “Once you have been through the inoculation, nothing but an accident or poisoning will ever kill you.”

“Okay, that will make a great deal of suffering worthwhile,” Nabiki said. “Do I wait here or do I need to go somewhere?”

“Wait here,” Seamstress said over her shoulder as she left Nabiki's cell. “I'll go find the person who needs to be informed of your readiness and she will send someone along sometime later today or tonight.”

“Okay, bye then.”

“See you later, Ms. Tendo.”

Nabiki carefully sat down on her stool.

 _I positively hate this,_ she thought. _It's too early for bed, so I can't lie down and this infernal stool is impossible to sit on for any length of time. How long did she say before word would get back to me? An hour? Hmph! I'd give long odds that it will be tomorrow before I hear a peep about this._

Nabiki picked up her Greek textbook and studied the vocabulary in it. She was desperate to improve her language skills.

_The longer I stay here, the more Greek I'll need to know, she thought. That means I'll have to learn more Greek words and how to spell them. Spelling things in Greek is a bitch. It's way more difficult than the Romaji alphabet ever dreamed of being._

And then she was proved wrong in her expectations for the near future. A herald dressed purple and white lozenges and carrying a caduceus upright with his left hand arrived just as she was beginning to get going good in her studies.

“Miss Tendo?” The herald asked. He sounded practically worshipful.

“Yes?” Nabiki replied in a surprised voice.

“I'm here to take you to the clinic.”

“I see, may I have a minute?”

“You certainly may, but don't take too long.”

“I won't.”

Nabiki made a quick trip to the restroom and came back. She had already gathered her necessaries into her crimson bag. Nabiki had learned the hard way that carrying her hygiene any other color of bag. She had been fined more than once for that particular infraction.

“Oh, you won't be needing those,” the herald said. “The clinic will give you a fresh set.”

“Will I be provided with anything else I need?”

“Of course,” the herald said. “We are a full service operation. This way please.”

Nabiki followed the herald outside and there was an open carriage waiting for them. The thing was very plush and the herald gave her a heavy cloak to wear.

“This will protect you,” he said. “It's charmed to fend off cold, heat and road dirt.”

Nabiki had arrived in the early part of Elysium's fall season and it had been slowly cooling off. It would get intensely hot during the day, but would become just about as cold during the night and the cold would linger well after sunup. Donning the cloak seemed to her like putting on a central air conditioning unit in a large building in her version of Tokyo. Somehow, the air flowed through it without inflating it. The experience was shocking.

“I never imagined that something like this could be made,” she said to the herald.

He grinned at her.

 _“_ Like I said, it has been charmed to protect you.”

Then he hopped into the front bench seat of the carriage and they were off.

“How far is it to the clinic?” Nabiki asked.

“Twenty-four stadia, Miss,” the driver answered.

Nabiki did the math in her head.

 _One-hundred-eighty-five_ _meters to a stadion so 24 stadia is roughly four-and-a-half kilometers,_ Nabiki thought. _That's a fair walk, but I've had to walk further back home, but that was on flat terrain. This place is hilly, like Osaka._

She sat back, relaxed and took in the sights of Xiropigado. It was a lovely island with mostly warm dry weather and plant life to match. The buildings were all painted bright white and had a blue trim that was somehow nearly as bright as the white paint. The carriage stopped in front of a domed building that Nabiki had seen from a distance and wondered about. Two women dressed in clothing that Nabiki could only call bright orange ran out to the carriage and helped her out of it. The cloak she was wearing was bulky and made her clumsy, so she was happy to have the help -- and the deference they showed her. It was the first time that anyone had treated her so well since she had arrived.

“Right this way, Miss Tendo,” one of the attendants said, taking Nabiki by her right arm. “The medical mage is here waiting on you.”

“Oh, good,” Nabiki said. “I'm eager to get this done and over with.”

“I'll just bet you are,” the attendant said.

They walked through a pair of wide double doors into a long curved lobby. Nabiki fully expected to find herself beneath the vast expanse of the dome, but this part of the clinic had a low ceiling, with a collection of nicely padded chairs that were upholstered in dark green leather. They looked comfortable, but Nabiki did not get to sit in one.

A vaguely familiar voice came out of the thin air saying, “Please bring Miss Tendo to the refectory. The pentacle is still being set up and we are not quite ready to begin the inoculation.”

The two attendants giggled.

“What do you want to bet that Demetrius set it up for a man?” One of them asked the other.

The other attendant smirked. “You know he did. He's just an apprentice and men are all he has ever actually helped to inoculate.”

Nabiki walked along a twisting and turning hallway and up a set of stairs between the two attendants. The building was nicely paneled with a dark wood that had a very crooked grain and highly polished. It looked expensive and it took Nabiki's breath away. She had never been in such a place as this -- except for that cruise liner she had ridden on once -- but she had been entirely too busy running her scam to fully appreciate the ship's brightwork.

They finally wound up in a vast room with an overarching ceiling that was full of tables and chairs and warm smells of cooking food, tea and rich coffee. Nabiki took in a deep breath and sighed.

 _It's been ages since I've had anything to eat,_ she thought, _but they probably won't want me to go into this treatment on a full stomach._

There was a man sitting in a booth on one side of the refectory. He motioned them over. Nabiki recognized him immediately.

 _That's the_ _guy who had_ _me chained and_ _dragged_ _to an interview room right before_ _before_ _I was assigned to the observatory as one of their computers,_ Nabiki thought. _Back then_ _, he seemed to be very wary of me, but now he seems to be happy to see me. There might be an advantage for me here_ _if I play my cards right._

With one attendant on each of her flanks, Nabiki walked toward the booth the man was sitting in.

“Good day, Miss Tendo, please do have a seat,” the enpurpled boss said. “We have a while to visit, assuming you don't mind.”

Nabiki bowed her head. “Why thank you, Sir.”

The two attendants looked at the man expectantly and he waved them away.

As Nabiki started to sit down, the man said, “I've been checking your work at the observatory. You do realize that out of some ten thousand operations you have not made a single mistake?”

Nabiki found that she was blushing as she settled upon the purple velvet covered cushions.

“I had hoped that I was not making any mistakes , Sir, but when you do that much arithmetic by hand, there is a huge amount of room for error.”

“Well, you have yet to make a single mistake and I am very much obliged to you.”

“Sir, what was I working on, if you don't mind my asking ?”

“Oh, we never told you, did we? You've been working on a trajectory for us to reach the next inhabitable planet. Interstellar travel demands a great deal of preparation, you know.”

Nabiki paused to think it over, then said, “I suppose such travel would take a great deal of preparation. How is it done? Do you use magic to open a portal or something?”

The man chuckled. “No, we use ships, much like the airships you'll see floating around in the atmosphere on this planet, but much stronger and full of air.”

“You have airships? You mean like lighter than air dirigibles?”

“Oh, you haven't seen one of them yet, have you? Xiropigado is due for a resupply soon. You'll see one when it arrives here chock-a-block with cargo.”

“Isn't that risky?” Nabiki asked. “We had them back home at one time, but we discovered right away that inert lift gasses were entirely too hard to come by and that hydrogen is extremely flammable.”

The man's eyes went wide with shock.

“We don't use lift gasses. We simply pump the air out of them and they are buoyed by the surrounding air. Much like a cork floats on the water .”

This time, Nabiki's eyes widened with shock.

“You mean you have a material that is that light and that strong?”

“They are built with the very same fibers as that peplos you wore on your trip to Meido. ”

“Which would mean that your airships are incredibly strong,” Nabiki said. “We never had the benefit of those fibers. Our airships were hard to handle and very fragile. Once we achieved heavier than air flight, that was the end of them.”

“Heavier than air!” The purpled boss exclaimed. “Really? How did your people manage that?”

Nabiki shrugged her shoulders. “You'd have to ask one of our engineers. I don't know anything about aeronautics save that buying a ticket and riding on an airplane is a rare and expensive treat.”

“So, let me be sure that I understand what you are telling me, if you don't mind, your people can actually ride in a flying machine that is heavier than air, yet you have not discovered the secret of interstellar travel?”

Nabiki smiled and nodded her head.

“I suppose you'll find that funny, won't you Sir?”

“ I...Oh, fooey! My name is Alcander Ariti,” the bepurpled boss said as he stood and extended his hand. “Please forgive me for my bad manners. I should have made myself familiar to you well before now.”

Nabiki was surprised to discover that she was both delighted and charmed by the purple boss. She had some very serious doubts about him, but she could tell that he was a great deal like Ranma in his overall character. She rose and took his hand using all her strength to make her grip as firm as possible and said, “I am very pleased to meet you, Mister Ariti.”

Nabiki nearly bowed out of habit, but stopped herself just in time. Greek women do not bow to men. Men bow to them and that is exactly what Ariti-san did. He bowed over her hand.

Both of them settled on the cushions and Ariti said, “You have a remarkably firm grip for a woman, Miss Tendo .”

“That is because of my training,” Nabiki said. “My family founded a school of martial arts. Studying the art requires you to be physically robust and exercise for prolonged periods of time.”

Ariti's face lit up with surprise and delight when Nabiki told him how she had developed her grip.

“I see! The more I learn about you, the more intriguing you become. How did you learn so much arithmetic, if you don't mind my asking?”

“We are schooled in it from a very young age, but most of us stop the very moment we do not need any more of it. Mine is extended because I wanted to be able to do accounting.”

“Accounting?” Ariti asked. “What is that?”

Nabiki laughed.

“It's basically just counting money, Mister Ariti, but that can become very complex very quickly, especially when you are dealing with financing and taxation.”

Ariti held his hand up as two servitors arrived with platters.

“We shall take that subject up again later after you have had your inoculations done,” Ariti said. “For now we must dine and drink. It will prepare you for the ceremony.”

“Inoculations here are ceremonies?”

“All of magic is a kind of ceremony,” Ariti said. “I know that there is not all that much magic in your part of the universe, but that is one of the very first things you should understand about magic.”

“So, magic can be taught...”

“Yes, just as anything else can be taught. There is, however, a huge difference between being competent and talented. You happen to have a talent for arithmetic, but your talent for magic has yet to be explored.”

“I see,” Nabiki said as she picked up the tiny shot glass full of what appeared to be scorched gear lube that was a mix of dark grey and bright green. It had been placed on her side of the table, as though it had been placed there for her. “What is this?”

“That, is a very powerful potion. You should drink it down in a single go and then follow that up with that large tumbler of ice water.”

“And this oblong cake looking thing on my plate?”

 _“That's just a_ _pastry_ _called baklava._ _Xiropigado is famous for its particular baklava. It has the local honey and along with crushed ap_ _u_ _po nuts between the layers of dough._ _"_

“So, I suppose I should take my medicine first, right?”

“If you so choose, yes. The water and food will help you to rid your mouth of the flavor and smell of the potion.”

“Okay, here's lookin' atcha, Doc,” Nabiki said as she tossed her head back and downed the tiny glass of potion in a single swallow. She immediately regretted that action and, had she known what the potion tasted like, she might well have refused it, despite its great promise for a long life. It was so bad that it made her eyes water and she found herself fighting the urge to howl like a she wolf in heat. Then the capsaicin kicked in and not only did the flow of her tears increase, mucus began running out of her nose in a torrent.

“The water, Nabiki, the water!” Ariti shouted.

Nabiki seized the tumbler and drank it down almost as fast as she had downed the potion. The water helped some, but not nearly enough. One of the servitors appeared with a pitcher and refilled the tumbler. Nabiki downed it just as fast and then held out the tumbler for yet another refill. She drank the third glass very quickly, but managed to not gulp it down like Genma drinking sake. She congratulated herself for that feat.

“Oh, _fuck_ , that was horrible!” Nabiki shouted in English. As she wiped at her eyes. One of the servitors offered her a napkin and she accepted it gratefully _._

“I did warn you, you know,” Ariti said in Greek. “Try the wine and have a little of the baklava. We have discovered that it something sweet always makes this particular potion tolerable.”

Nabiki quickly did as Ariti suggested. The wine was sweet, but not cloying and the baklava was unique, mostly because of the crushed kernels of the apupo nuts between the layers. The nut meat put Nabiki in mind of pecans crossed with pistachios, but she had only tasted either on very rare occasions. She did frequent several kissaten while at home, but she shied away from their pastries. A girl had to keep an eye on her figure, after all, but the local butter combined with the local honey in the baklava was to die for.

“I could get fat on this, you know,” Nabiki said in a threatening tone.

Ariti grinned evilly. “I'm certain that you could, Miss Tendo and that would be ever so much a shame. You are quite attractive at your current weight.”

“I know I could and I would -- if I yielded to temptation,” Nabiki said between bites and sips, “but I learned something the hard way. You cannot offset your intake of carbohydrates with exercise, no matter how much you exercise. That simply does not work. Better to have a mix of fats and proteins as the main part of your diet.”

Ariti smiled again.

“Indeed, never put the weight on and you never have to take it off.”

“Worse, carbohydrates are addictive,” Nabiki said. “ The sugary stuff is sweet and the stodge cheap and temporarily satisfying , but they do great harm to your body over time. I'm going to need a nap after eating this stuff.”

“That's good,” Ariti said. “The ceremony is not all that pleasant either. You should have another couple of glasses of wine before we proceed.”

“Will the ceremony be as bad as the potion?” Nabiki asked, feeling genuinely alarmed.

“Almost,” Ariti said, “but not quite. Don't worry, though. You'll be given lines to repeat. Mostly, you'll just be standing in the pentacle enduring it.”

“Pentacle?”

“Need I remind you that magic is essentially a ceremony?”

“I think I am beginning to grasp what that means now,” Nabiki said with a forlorn look on her face. “This had better work.”

“It will, my dear, it will.”

“How long?” Nabiki asked.

“In subjective time? A month to six weeks, perhaps a bit longer if we find anything serious wrong with your body.”

“Subjective time?”

“Oh, that's right,” Ariti exclaimed, “you have never been taught that there is more than one sort of time. There is the time you endure and then there is the time that everyone else experiences. We have spells to separate the two. The ceremony will only last a day or so in objective time -- a week at most. ”

“Objective time?”

“Look, don't worry about it,” Ariti said sounding a wee bit flustered. “I guarantee you you'll be out in time to go to your dancing classes.”

So, Nabiki finished her baklava and wine and then, Mister Ariti, the enpurpled boss, led her to a door a couple of floors downstairs from the refectory.

“Go through this door and do what the nurses tell you to do when they tell you to do it. It's very important that you follow their instructions, so listen carefully and don't be afraid to ask if you don't understand something.”

“And where will you be during all this?” Nabiki asked.

“I'll be the one conducting your inoculation ceremony, Miss Tendo,” Ariti said. “No one told you?”

“No, but I feel better now that I know who to hold responsible.”

Ariti laughed.

“You truly are a piece of work, Miss Tendo,” Ariti said as he opened the door. “Shall we get started?”

Nabiki gave the purple boss a knowing grin and a quick bob of her head, then she walked through the door. Ariti closed it behind her. She was not surprised to find that she was now standing in what appeared to be a standard dressing room, save that there were no mirrors.

“Take off all your clothing, please,” a disembodied voice said. “Once you are disrobed, go through the door in front of you.”

Nabiki did as she was told. The door opened into a space slightly smaller than her closet back home. There was a sudden bright actinic blue flash of light and Nabiki felt her hair sizzle about her body. Nabiki had been caught by surprise and had not even blinked. The after images were swimming around making her dizzy when the disembodied voice said, “Take three steps forward, please.”

Nabiki staggered ahead three steps nearly losing her balance and then stopped. There were clanking noises behind her as the door slid shut and then came clanking noises in front of her as another door slid open.

“Three steps forward, please,” the voice said. “Please try to keep your eyes open and breath in as deeply as you can.”

The door clanked shut behind her as a fine mist filled the air in the closet sized room. The mist burned her eyes and skin and it made her cough. It smelled like pure alcohol. She would find out later that the mist was exactly that -- moonshine.

Just as she became good and loopy from the mist, the door in front of her clanked open.

“Please step into the next room, Miss Tendo.”

Nabiki complied, but this room was larger and there were two women in environmental suits waiting on her. Each of them had a spray wand in one hand.

“Raise your arms please, Miss Tendo,” one of them asked. Her voice muffled by the baggy suit. It was basically semi-human shaped bag at the end of a plastic tunnel and not especially flattering in appearance.

Nabiki raised her arms and felt warm soapy water spray on her tortured skin. It felt good and that made her shiver. She went through a number of contortions per the two nurses request until they were satisfied that she had been thoroughly soaped and then patiently did it again as they rinsed her skin.

This is like going to a car wash to to take a bath, Nabiki thought. That's an idea! The sentou back home don't have anything at all like this. It would be a neat gimmick to sell when I get back.

She stepped into yet another small room that then blew warm air on her until she was thoroughly dry and when the door opened, she found herself in a very large room with a pentacle painted onto the floor. The pentacle had blood candles made of blood colored wax at each apex, none of which smelled very good.

“Please stand in the center of the pentacle, Miss Tendo.”

As Nabiki took up a place at the center of the pentacle. She was startled to find that the center was actually a large star shaped gym mat. A teenage boy dressed in purple and white check, Nabiki decided that he must be Demetrius scurried up to her with a sheet of paper.

“Read this aloud pronouncing the words as best you can when you are asked to do so,” the boy said.

“This doesn't look a bit like Latin,” Nabiki said.

“It's not Latin, it's Sumerian. The Sumerians were the first of all the mages and their magic has always been the most powerful,” the boy said over his shoulder as he hurried back towards the door he had come out of. “Gotta go! Master won't wait on me to get outta the way and we've got another patient waiting. ”

Nabiki stood stock still in the center of the pentacle sky-clad and shivering. Part of the shiver was because the large room was cold, but most of it was caused by her fear. She really and truly did not know what might happen next. She had never experienced any magic done this way. In fact, it was enchanter's magic, not the mild witchcraft or wizardry she had experienced in Nerima . It was not even the sort of magic that plagued the springs of Jusenkyou. This magic was being preformed on her. It was tailored for her, Tendo Nabiki, no one else.

 _T_ he enpurpled boss's voice asked her to bow to the north wind and so she did, then he demanded that she bow to the other three winds, which she did. Then he asked her to read the first line on the paper she had been given, so she did. About then is when she realized that what she was doing was giving her consent to the upcoming proceedings, whatever they might be and no matter how hard they would be to endure. That made her bite at her lower lip, but she did as she was asked and read aloud when it was demanded of her.

 _Too late to back out now, Nabiki,_ she thought. _If this kills me that is how it will have to be, but I am going to take a leap of faith here and put my life in the hands of the Gods._

Much to her chagrin, as Ariti's sing-song chanting in Sumerian went on, her skin began to darken and shrivel until it became leathery and then became so stiff that it might have been used as the soles for a pair of heavy work boots. She tried to feel of her breasts and was shocked when her left nipple fell off, struck the cushioned floor beneath her feet and turned into a sienna colored powder that stained the white gym mat.

The rest of her skin was now so stiff that she could no longer breath and so was unable to gasp, despite her heartfelt efforts to do so. Just as she concluded that gasping was completely out of the question, Demetrius and the two nurses came bustling out with a sort of large gurney that had over sized inflated tires rather than the more usual casters on it. Demetrius operated the gurney while the two nurses in their isolation suits gently lifted Nabiki's crumbly body and placed her inside the gurney. Demetrius began to turn a crank handle and something under the gurney made a whirring noise. Brown dust began to fall on Nabiki's body. Then the nurses raised the sides of the gurney. The sides of the gurney were made of a clear plastic like substance and then the bed part of the gurney began to flood with a viscous fluid.

Nabiki felt herself begin to dissolve into this liquid.

 _Oh, great!_ She thought. _I'm_ _turning into_ _a bisque. Who would have thought of such a thing?_ _Kasumi! She would have gleefully thought up something like this._

 _Matters quickly got worse. As Nabiki dissolved into the liquid, her eyes and other organs began drifting about. She saw things about herself from angles she never dreamed that she would see and never wanted_ _to ever see again_ _. Worse, you simply cannot imagine what the world looks like when you have one eye down around your ankles and the other somewhere near your navel. It was sickening as well as_ _horrifying_ _._

Then she began to hear things. She could hear Akane ask in her baby voice, “Ooh! Onee-chan! Is Nabiki-one-chan a bisque now?”

And then Nabiki could swear that she heard Kasumi say _,_ “Something very close that, yes.”

“Can I taste her?” Akane asked with heartfelt eagerness in her voice. Nabiki did not see, but imagined Akane putting out her tiny hand the way she always did when she wanted to taste something.

“Now, now!” Kasumi's voice said. “Don't use your finger. Where's your spoon?”

“Oh, it's in my room,” Akane's voice replied brightly. “I'll go fetch it. May I taste  bisque-no-  Nabiki  then?”

“Yes, baby, you may taste her then,” Kasumi said.

Nabiki would have shuddered had she been solid enough to do so, but the best she could manage to do was to ripple her surface a little.

“Don't worry, Nabiki,” Kasumi said. “I hid baby Akane's spoon in a place where she'll never find it. You do remember how fixated on it she became after mother died, right? I hated to hide it, but her habit of holding it in her mouth all the time had to be stopped.”

Nabiki managed to bubble in response.

“Yes, well, you have to admit that you earned a lot of this, you know,” Kasumi said in the sweet voice she used to chide everyone around her. “You picked on Akane something terrible after mother died.”

Nabiki tried her best to sigh and failed, but Kasumi seemed to understand anyway.

“Yes, she has ascended and yes, she'll awaken thinking that she had the strangest dream about us, but that's your fault as well . You are the one who dragged Akane and me here to witness your current plight.”

 _I did no such thing!_ Nabiki wanted to shout but could not.

“Then why are Akane and I here?” Kasumi asked. “You wanted us to see your humiliation at the hands of these Mages so that you could atone for your bad behavior and greed.”

Kasumi paused and pursed her lips in that knowing way that she had developed after their mother died.

 _I don't like being humiliated in public,_ Nabiki thought. _I hate it._

“But this isn't in public, is it? This is a medical clinic of sorts. You are being cleansed in a very systematic way. It's a painful process, I know. I have first hand experience with this type of magic.”

 _Like hell_ _you have_ _!_ Nabiki wanted to shout.

 _“_ Yes, it is a good deal like hell, isn't it?” Kasumi again paused and gave her middle sister a smug look. “But this is for your own good. They must expose you to just about every known disease in the entire universe to inoculate you against them, and then they throw a very large number of poisons so that your body will learn to resist them. You're suffering now, but you will live to remember it -- I hope. You just lay here and relax. Soak up all the punishment you can and then heal up as quickly as you may. We'll be waiting for your return.”

And with that, Kasumi vanished. Nabiki could have sworn that she saw her eldest sister peering down at her from the top of the liquid tight curtain around the heavy duty gurney, but then she decided that it had to have been a delusion of some kind. After all, there was no way that Kasumi could have gotten here so quickly.

Matters quickly became worse. Ariti began chanting and other bad things happened to Nabiki. The two nurses would sprinkle various grainy powders into the cloudy solution that was Nabiki Tendo and, for the first time in her entire life, she learned what the color blue smelled like. And she came to know what red sounded like. Some of the powders made her burn as though she had been set on fire and others made her itch as though she had spent an entire week in a thicket of poison ivy.

This last was especially irritating for her because she could not scratch anything on her liquified body. She was obliged to lay in the gurney and endure the pernicious itching, but even worse were the powders that made her joints and bones hurt. The nurses would warn her whenever they were going to use one of them, but that only prevented Nabiki from being taken by surprise it did not help her endure the pain. She was obliged to endure the pain all on her own.

All of this reminded her of the people she had tormented at Furinkan. Many of them she had stood in front of and giggled while they burned with embarrassment or worse, shame. There were some that she had even black mailed and Ranma and her youngest sister had been among her favorite targets. This all surfaced in her mind while she physically suffered through the magical ceremony called The Inoculation. Nabiki lamented all her excesses save those she had inflicted on Kuno Tatewaki. He had them all coming simply because he considered himself to be better than everyone around him.

Money, she realized, does not make one superior to others. There is nothing wrong with having money and there is nothing wrong with having pride in one's true accomplishments, but to believe oneself to be superior simply because you exist is just so much -- hubris. Now she understood the anger of the Gods, but why had it been necessary for the Great Mages of Series One to inflict the necessary punishment on her? Was she suffering to accomplish some other end?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This could well be the very last thing I publish. I have elected to quit going to dialysis, mostly because I dislike the way Fresenius Kidney Care treats its patients. They have been charging my insurance company some $23,000 per month for my treatments and then had the gall to send me a bill for about $1,000 / month. I am but one patient. The clinic I attend is at capacity and so is the newer one that I started going to. There is a long list of other problems with how and Fresenius behaves, but it boils down to unnecessary penny pinching and I resent it. I have adopted the Ketogenic Diet and have been losing weight faster than the machinery at the clinic can pull the weight off of me. I still make urine, but my dropping dialysis altogether is taking a huge risk and I know that. My advice to you is that if you are overweight and a type II diabetic, get on the keto diet. I no longer have to take insulin or any other drug for diabetes and I have only been on this diet for 3 months.


End file.
